Can You Really Be Friends With An Ex? - Page 7

Cin · 12-11-2015, 04:16 PM

I would have been happy to be friends with most of my exes. In a few cases I actually believed it was going to happen. But it never really did materialize. I hold no animosity toward them and I don't believe any of my exes dislikes me as a person. The relationship just didn't work out for one reason or another but none ended badly or with hard feelings. So you would think the door would be wide open since, speaking for myself, I still care deeply about all my exes. But the friendship never did last. I always feel bad when I think about that. I try to review to see what I might have done that contributed to not having a friendship but I honestly don't know. Every so often I will send an email or something to say hey to one of them and there will be a short flurry of conversation but then it will just peter out and in a year or so I'll wonder what happened and be back trying to figure out why I can't keep any of my exes as friends.

Shystonefem · 12-11-2015, 05:24 PM

Some I could be friends with but their new girlfriends/wives won't let them.

Others, not in a million years.

I tried to reach out to my ex that I was with for almost 11 years (because she was sick for a long time) and her GF says "Stay the F... away from my wife". Ummm LOL

MrSunshine · 12-11-2015, 07:56 PM

[quote=Talon;1031647]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Yep, as long as they are not a raging douche.[/QUOTE
Wow...you are truly exceptional....

Well,yeah.

kittygrrl · 12-11-2015, 08:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Yep, as long as they are not a raging douche.

honestly Mr Sunshine, referring to anyone as a "douche" makes one wonder who has the problem, imo. What you contemplate in private reflection is your own affair, but a woman observing such declarations (of a woman you at some point cared for), wince.

Angeltoes · 12-11-2015, 08:37 PM

I've never had a relationship where we just drifted apart - there was always a big reason why it ended. Also, sometimes I wish I more extroverted like cupcake but I definitely do not have friends for different occasions. I'm an introvert and if I let someone into my bubble in real life that's significant to me. I'm friendly to everyone, but being friendly and being friends are totally different things. Once the relationship is over a wall comes down and it never comes back up for that person again.

Nat · 12-11-2015, 10:01 PM

Is there something personal going on here or are we really forbidden from referring to any single one of our exes as a raging douche because I think I probably have dated at least one raging douche in my life. And maybe have earned the title before myself.

Or is this like a feminist argument?

JDeere · 12-11-2015, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nat

Is there something personal going on here or are we really forbidden from referring to any single one of our exes as a raging douche because I think I probably have dated at least one raging douche in my life. And maybe have earned the title before myself.

Or is this like a feminist argument?

Not sure but thanks for asking this, I was about to do the same!

I have dated a few raging douches myself! I myself have had that title as well!

imperfect_cupcake · 12-12-2015, 01:07 AM

I've dated a couple cunts. A few pricks. Several assholes. A useless fuck or two... But haven't had the pleasure of having dinner with a vaginal rinse yet.

And I'm very much a feminist.

And a complete tit.

MrSunshine · 12-12-2015, 08:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kittygrrl

honestly Mr Sunshine, referring to anyone as a "douche" makes one wonder who has the problem, imo. What you contemplate in private reflection is your own affair, but a woman observing such declarations (of a woman you at some point cared for), wince.

Here's a lesson in reading left to right and NOT reading into things. " yes, as long as THEY ARE NOT a raging douche". Unwinch

kittygrrl · 12-12-2015, 09:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

Here's a lesson in reading left to right and NOT reading into things. " yes, as long as THEY ARE NOT a raging douche". Unwinch

to each his own

*Anya* · 12-12-2015, 10:39 AM

Paraphrasing Urban Dictionary:

Douche:

Comparing someone to products that clean vaginas.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche

Yes, I think it is a sexist thing to say to an ex or about an ex.

Glenn · 12-12-2015, 11:16 AM

I really do not know what happened to mine. I certainly do not feel inclined toward calling them crude names... I am above all that. I respect folks who know how to STILL be friends with their ex's, and STILL treat them well. It shows me how educated some people are, regarding their past relationships.

imperfect_cupcake · 12-13-2015, 05:35 AM

You know, some of us just use crude language in general, as we speak. I also use self deprecatory humour and tease my friends abut being raging sluts. I get called a cunt by my friends on occasion and with great cheer.

It's a different concept of social interaction. I do not feel put down when someone in my social group calls me "hey moose flaps" or my best mate called me titsy fat arse.
Btw, flaps are another word for vaginal lips aka piss flaps.
I'm Canuck, therefore I get called moose flaps.

I'm actually a really politically active person, I am in a very caring and health care orientated job, I went to *finishing school* even, as a young teen. If I want to pull very good upper class manners out of my hip pocket, I will.

Most of the time, I don't fucking feel like it. And oddly enough, it's pretty rare someone who meets me *in person* finds me offensive. Mostly my verbiage makes people laugh. A lot.

Because they can see my body language, hear my tone of voice, and see my grin. That's not possible on here so I usually temper it. But guess what, *some* of my exes were cunts/pricks/arseholes.

And sometimes I am a *massive* tit.

If you are offended by "rough" language unbecoming of a "lady" (#sarcasm) then you likely be offended by me in the future.

PS. Pussy farts

kittygrrl · 12-13-2015, 08:32 AM

yes you can, eventually(with most)

clay · 12-13-2015, 08:50 AM

Yes, sometimes I can.....and others no way.

Shystonefem · 12-13-2015, 12:11 PM

My ex tries to stay in touch will all of her exs because she, eventually, tries to get back with them. It is like a rotating door....

Only 2 (me and her ex before me) won't speak to her. She is now with her ex from when she was 17. I figure my turn won't come up for another 10 years or so. Too bad, so sad..... my answer will always be "not for a million dollars".

AVATAR · 12-13-2015, 01:49 PM

it really depends on the 2 exes and how it ended i think. Its hard to be just friends with someone you might still be in love with. Though once the anger and pain has subsided, i think its possible.

trixie · 12-13-2015, 05:20 PM

I really don't care to be friends with my exes. Feh.

And ftiw, I can certainly use rude language--especially when discussing exes. I yam what I yam.

Tuff Stuff · 12-13-2015, 08:30 PM

I kind of moved on you could say.I wish them all a happy life and that's about it.

Liam · 12-13-2015, 08:50 PM

Sometimes, it happens.

12-11-2015, 05:24 PM	#122
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,674 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	Some I could be friends with but their new girlfriends/wives won't let them. Others, not in a million years. I tried to reach out to my ex that I was with for almost 11 years (because she was sick for a long time) and her GF says "Stay the F... away from my wife". Ummm LOL __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

12-11-2015, 10:01 PM	#126
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,965 Times in 2,589 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Is there something personal going on here or are we really forbidden from referring to any single one of our exes as a raging douche because I think I probably have dated at least one raging douche in my life. And maybe have earned the title before myself. Or is this like a feminist argument? __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl Last edited by Nat; 12-11-2015 at 10:12 PM.

12-12-2015, 10:39 AM	#131
Anya Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Lesbian non-stone femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, her Relationship Status: Committed to being good to myself Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 8,258 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 39,306 Thanked 40,475 Times in 7,284 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Paraphrasing Urban Dictionary: Douche: Comparing someone to products that clean vaginas. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=douche Yes, I think it is a sexist thing to say to an ex or about an ex. __________________ ~Anya~ Democracy Dies in Darkness ~Washington Post "...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable." UN Human Rights commissioner

12-13-2015, 08:32 AM	#134
kittygrrl Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: 'dark matter' Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: near wild mushrooms Posts: 9,316 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 21,565 Thanked 21,925 Times in 7,057 Posts Rep Power: 21474861	on being friends with an ex... yes you can, eventually(with most) __________________ "MAKE AMERICA THINK AGAIN"

12-13-2015, 08:50 AM	#135
clay Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Butch (Silver Fox) Dom Daddi Preferred Pronoun?: 50 Shades of Clay Darker & Deeper Relationship Status: married to my forever Join Date: May 2011 Location: salt air & sandy beaches Posts: 13,136 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 97,015 Thanked 31,680 Times in 7,748 Posts Rep Power: 21474864	Yes, sometimes I can.....and others no way. __________________ To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness. ~Robert Brault

12-11-2015, 04:16 PM	#121
Cin Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: In My Head Posts: 2,814 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,333 Thanked 10,469 Times in 2,481 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I would have been happy to be friends with most of my exes. In a few cases I actually believed it was going to happen. But it never really did materialize. I hold no animosity toward them and I don't believe any of my exes dislikes me as a person. The relationship just didn't work out for one reason or another but none ended badly or with hard feelings. So you would think the door would be wide open since, speaking for myself, I still care deeply about all my exes. But the friendship never did last. I always feel bad when I think about that. I try to review to see what I might have done that contributed to not having a friendship but I honestly don't know. Every so often I will send an email or something to say hey to one of them and there will be a short flurry of conversation but then it will just peter out and in a year or so I'll wonder what happened and be back trying to figure out why I can't keep any of my exes as friends.

12-11-2015, 08:37 PM	#125
Angeltoes Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Nunya Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Bernlandia Posts: 1,740 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,286 Thanked 5,526 Times in 1,386 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I've never had a relationship where we just drifted apart - there was always a big reason why it ended. Also, sometimes I wish I more extroverted like cupcake but I definitely do not have friends for different occasions. I'm an introvert and if I let someone into my bubble in real life that's significant to me. I'm friendly to everyone, but being friendly and being friends are totally different things. Once the relationship is over a wall comes down and it never comes back up for that person again.

12-12-2015, 01:07 AM	#128
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,713 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I've dated a couple cunts. A few pricks. Several assholes. A useless fuck or two... But haven't had the pleasure of having dinner with a vaginal rinse yet. And I'm very much a feminist. And a complete tit.

12-12-2015, 11:16 AM	#132
Glenn Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Dear ol butch bones. Preferred Pronoun?: Old G Relationship Status: Too old to play. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: :rolleyes: Posts: 1,547 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,601 Thanked 3,730 Times in 1,095 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	I really do not know what happened to mine. I certainly do not feel inclined toward calling them crude names... I am above all that. I respect folks who know how to STILL be friends with their ex's, and STILL treat them well. It shows me how educated some people are, regarding their past relationships.

12-13-2015, 05:35 AM	#133
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,713 Times in 1,611 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	You know, some of us just use crude language in general, as we speak. I also use self deprecatory humour and tease my friends abut being raging sluts. I get called a cunt by my friends on occasion and with great cheer. It's a different concept of social interaction. I do not feel put down when someone in my social group calls me "hey moose flaps" or my best mate called me titsy fat arse. Btw, flaps are another word for vaginal lips aka piss flaps. I'm Canuck, therefore I get called moose flaps. I'm actually a really politically active person, I am in a very caring and health care orientated job, I went to finishing school even, as a young teen. If I want to pull very good upper class manners out of my hip pocket, I will. Most of the time, I don't fucking feel like it. And oddly enough, it's pretty rare someone who meets me in person finds me offensive. Mostly my verbiage makes people laugh. A lot. Because they can see my body language, hear my tone of voice, and see my grin. That's not possible on here so I usually temper it. But guess what, some of my exes were cunts/pricks/arseholes. And sometimes I am a massive tit. If you are offended by "rough" language unbecoming of a "lady" (#sarcasm) then you likely be offended by me in the future. PS. Pussy farts

12-13-2015, 12:11 PM	#136
Shystonefem Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Shy for President Join Date: May 2014 Location: NH Posts: 1,105 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,475 Thanked 3,674 Times in 897 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	My ex tries to stay in touch will all of her exs because she, eventually, tries to get back with them. It is like a rotating door.... Only 2 (me and her ex before me) won't speak to her. She is now with her ex from when she was 17. I figure my turn won't come up for another 10 years or so. Too bad, so sad..... my answer will always be "not for a million dollars". __________________ Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like. ~Lao Tzu

12-13-2015, 01:49 PM	#137
AVATAR Timed Out - Identity Issues How Do You Identify?: butch Preferred Pronoun?: female ones Relationship Status: happy and single Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Rocky Mountains Posts: 89 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 414 Thanked 212 Times in 82 Posts Rep Power: 0	it really depends on the 2 exes and how it ended i think. Its hard to be just friends with someone you might still be in love with. Though once the anger and pain has subsided, i think its possible.

12-13-2015, 05:20 PM	#138
trixie Member How Do You Identify?: independent spinster lady Preferred Pronoun?: she-ra, princess of power Relationship Status: one is the magic number Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: right here, right now Posts: 110 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 12 Thanked 188 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 2482428	I really don't care to be friends with my exes. Feh. And ftiw, I can certainly use rude language--especially when discussing exes. I yam what I yam.

12-13-2015, 08:30 PM	#139
Tuff Stuff Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married Join Date: May 2013 Location: California Posts: 695 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 904 Thanked 1,315 Times in 505 Posts Rep Power: 9408454	Not Me I kind of moved on you could say.I wish them all a happy life and that's about it.

12-13-2015, 08:50 PM	#140
Liam Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Guy Preferred Pronoun?: He, Him, His Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Evergreen State Posts: 2,269 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 14,865 Thanked 6,875 Times in 1,861 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	Sometimes, it happens. __________________ <3 Love is weird.