Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 7



I Beg


The embarrassment of need is a haunting guest who will not leave. I turn in a tight circle trying to find a way to detach this wart and move gracefully from the site of devastation, but it looms large and overshadows today’s possibilities and robs tomorrows gold. What I cannot do for myself, the magic I cannot yet perform, stands between me and contentment, stands there wearing your face; touching my mind with your fingertips. I pray that you are not the answer for I cannot depend on you, but I think of you and the little bell rings and I am hungry. Desire is a gift. Desiring you is the burden whose shadow I can’t escape. I close my eyes to the light you emit; I cannot close my heart. All that’s left is pleading; please come home and fill me or leave and lock the door and let me grieve in peace.







Treat your health like your job, treat your health like your investment, treat your health like your life; it is

*

ROCK BOTTOM PRICES

Marble topped dressers, dry sinks and wardrobes,
Stand in the auctioneer’s warehouse
Showing loving use and obvious value.

The hungry consumers peruse the merchandise
Looking for the perfect pieces
To fit their need.

Old men eating ice cream sandwiches pick their way through
The rows of tidbits laid out on the lawn,
Bargains to fill odd spaces and little desires.

So like out meeting places, people trying to refurnish their lives.
The cost to arrive may have been high
But once in, the market is more than fair.

We reclaim relics and we use them as road signs and warnings.
There is always someone around to carry large truths home
And no one has to go away empty handed.

We bid on our own survival by buying someone else a break.
Time passes easily as the one at the podium
Recounts the rock bottom prices.


You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[BabyDaddy]

Today I tried and today I failed. I guess I'll try again tomorrow

[LeftWriteFemme]

Originally Posted by BabyDaddy

Today I tried and today I failed. I guess I'll try again tomorrow

You might want to even try again today.....best of luck to you.

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 8


Stand Hear


The spins and pirouettes I have preformed in an attempt to avoid facing the music, were impressive but futile and ultimately delayed the beauty possible for me in this life. When I stop my running and turn on my heel there is a world of harmony waiting to take me for a turn out on the dance floor. Melody is not what I was expecting. I was so sure I would be drummed out of my life, not trumpeted in. My surety set in motion much of my convoluted activity and caused me great distress. It is high time I listen with eyes open and my reactions leashed; allowing the tune to introduce me to life and lead me to my bliss.


Let bad habits run away from home; pack their bags when you can

*

DON’T BE

Don’t be stupid.
Don’t be crazy.
Don’t be anything out of the ordinary.

Don’t be angry.
Don’t be hateful.
Just don’t be that way.

Don’t be sad.
Don’t be mopy
Smile fore the camera and pretend for everyone.

I often wondered why I felt like dyeing
And it took me years to understand why,
Don’t be = Death.

Don’t feel.
Don’t cry.
Don’t love
.
Life is about action, presence and content.
You’re wrong if you break the rules
And dead if you keep them.

So please don’t be Them.
Look back when you have to
But step out of the grave.


You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 9

Pick up Your Hammer and Saw

The task infers the tool. I know this, yet I resist clearly mapping my insanity. I look into the well of my despair then quickly I look away, I fear informing G-d what I need lest the need be filled. I need to believe that a power will heal me, but if I am provided with the force of life, I shrink from the prospect. This too, must be added to the list of my emotional woes and mental shortages. This too, will be healed. I look at my problems and then realize, that like the moon, who pulls the water from dry shore to dry shore, solutions are installed in heaven and earth if I know what the problem is.



Experiment, start living a dream


*
COMFORT AND WILLINGNESS

Closer than comfort is willingness.
Comfort is at the skin
But willingness is under it.

I can live without comfort
But not without willingness
Both are unseen but felt deeply.

Willingness drives to the destination
And comfort settles me in once there.
Comfort is a gift like warmth,
Willingness is a gift like breath.

I have been tempted to let go of willingness
To hold onto comfort.
True willingness brings true comfort
Never the other way around.

No matter where I have to go
Willingness will take me there,
I hope comfort will follow.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 10


Michal Rovner

I have numbered all the blocks in my ancestral walls. This has enabled me to recreate them stone by stone everywhere I go. It all fits to create the tomb I now have to learn to leave. I must change the equation and reorder the numbers allowing these rocks to be recycled and find a wonderful useful life as a stairway out of this pit of despair. What was once an edifice to lives unlived is now able to facilitate elevation, a restoration of a level playing field. It was not wrong for me to catalog the stones and there was no way for me to leave them behind, but nothing matches the satisfaction of using them to build a life, except for the ability to live in it.



Take a look at yourself from a distance


*
THE SEDUCTION OF SOBRIETY

I was seduced away from my duties
As an alcoholic by the promise of sobriety,
Allegiance to my disease was sidelined.

Alluring stability and beguiling integrity
Curried favor with my desperate heart,
Pulling me from the arranged marriage of addiction.

How could I cling to the corpse of dependence
When sanity shimmered just out of reach,
Then not out of reach but within my grasp.

I couldn’t resist the golden flicker of life.
I had been bound to death
Unable to see an alternative.

My loyalty to loss and grief slipped from me
And I limped into the daylight,
Like the widow of the night.

I have been lured to my senses
By a love like no other,
The love of life.



You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 11

T before S

When happiness is hard work I have to learn to look for the lie. There must be a lie for happiness flows unrestrained when not dammed. What was built too far up river for me to see, dries out my once liquid existence; leaving me to flounder in the shallows. I can’t allow myself to flop in the muck of waters muddied with deceit. I will permit myself to look for clear bright prospects from melting glaciers and accustom myself to the invigoration of a life lived under a loving watchful eye.


Keep water near by

*

KILLER SQUIRRELS
AND OTHER SOBER DRAMA

I can tell you stories to make your hair curl.
Death defying fifth steps,
Speaking commitments with microphoned podiums,
Sponsees with killer squirrels trapped in the house.

The courage and sheer determination
Needed to face plague, after crisis, after pestilence
And yet sober mind and willing heart these travails
Are surmounted and we live on.

Tears turn to laughter with rescue and remedy
How strong we feel as the cape is passed
When one time panic prone sponsees
Become the model of calm and stable sponsors.

Hoards of relatives at holidays,
Interaction with bankers, police officers
And all manner of people in shiny shoes
Are handled with grace and boundaries.

Porch loving skunks, children becoming teenagers,
Are faced with humor and wit.
Things which in years gone by would have sent us screaming
To the phone are now casual asides during after meeting discussion.

Life does keep spinning on
But we learn how to stand still.
You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 12

Seen on the Street

Sometimes graffiti improves a place, other times it degrades it. I now wonder; is this defined by the breaking or breaching of public norms? Or is it built from the intent of the artist/perpetrator? Possibly the pedestrian traffic or the light of day determine the difference between art and recalcitrance. What if all these factors flashing like a neon kaleidoscope facilitated what this all really means? What if it all signifies nothing other than yet another way for me to entertain my brain while avoiding work? I guess I better get back to the spray cans I have a wall to cover.


(this was sent to me this morning and I think it goes nicely with this reading)
.com/embed/23bA_5yadxs

Open your mind to unusual collaboration
*


THE TEAM

The dream sobriety I envision,
The fantasy recovery I mentally construct,
Blows out to sea as so much mist
In the face of actual life.

Setting out sports teams, which don’t exist
Is playful and entertaining.
Trying to rebuild the principals of the program
Is a delusion I can drink over.

Finessing my network and pretending I can put together a team
On a basis of specialized talents instead of ground level willingness
Is like designing a plane without regard to physics
Playing only to esthetics.

Anytime I am redesigning
I must realize I am no longer participating
If I keep my head in the game
I can stay away from statistics and stop planning outcomes.


You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[tomboystud]

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY SHERRIE!!!!!


Thank you for being such an amazing part of my recovery. To know you is to be blessed.

Oh my! 26yrs. What a totally amazing achievement.

Thank you so much for being a friend and for being a voice of sober reason when called upon.

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 13


Phillips Head


What’s stuck in makes the thing. What sticks out is all that’s seen. I can tell so much from what is left out, yet there is much I will never know, can never tell. The twist, the give, the opening to variation is known, but never acknowledged. Somehow indecent if spoken or thought of too loudly, insinuation is ignored and society allows us to focus on what is held after or due to this act. We have built the whole world on what we can screw together, but we will merely hallow this, never embrace the fact until it falls apart. Then we exclaim over the rawness of how it caused us to be turned around, the risk and wrongness, ignoring just how much good can come from just a simple screw.


Acknowledge rain clouds as puddles on lay-away

*

MEETING INVENTORY

The manicurist at the meeting sits and does her nails.
The discussion goes on around her as she files away.
Cell phones go off for people
Who can’t put their lives on hold for their sobriety.

The knitter knits.
And the dissenters dissent.
The chatting chickens and grumbling grouse
All these populate the meeting.

It has taken the first half of the hour
To take everyone else’s inventory.
I have the remaining thirty to take my own.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[tomboystud]

August 13
Difficult people
“By giving unconditional love... we become more loving, and by sharing spiritual growth we become more spiritual.”
Basic Text, p.103
––––=––––
Most of us have one or two exceptionally difficult people in our lives. How do we deal with such a person in our recovery?
First, we take our own inventory. Have we wronged this person? Has some action or attitude of ours served as an invitation for the kind of treatment they have given us? If so, we will want to clear the air, admit we have been wrong, and ask our Higher Power to remove whatever defects may prevent us from being helpful and constructive.
Next, as people seeking to live spiritually oriented lives, we approach the problem from the other person’s point of view. They may be faced with any number of challenges we either fail to consider or know nothing about, challenges that cause them to be unpleasant. As it’s said, we seek in recovery “to forgive rather than be forgiven; to understand rather than be understood.”
Finally, if it is within our power, we seek ways to help others overcome their challenges without injuring their dignity. We pray for their well-being and spiritual growth and for the ability to offer them the unconditional love that has meant so much to us in our recovery.
We cannot change the difficult people in our lives, nor can we please everyone. But by applying the spiritual principles we’ve learned in NA, we can learn to love them.
––––=––––
Just for today: Higher Power, help me serve other people, not demand that they serve me.

Copyright © 1991-2013 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 14


Participant Observer


Underneath it all I am more than naked; I am hidden by exposure. My body can never be as nude as life with you in my thoughts. My mind is a polygraph you wander through. I have determined this is more than safe and unlock the closets. You are not my warden looking for contraband, nor the janitor looking for trash, you are here; you are my friend having a better look around simply to know me better and to love me well. Your unfamiliar stride is exciting, I show off the places I long for you to see and stand aside from the rest; it is all yours to look through. I do not resist. You are my peaceful guardian; I am your willing charge.



Sit with impatience and sooth it

*

CAMPAIGN

Sobriety is the Santa Clause that brings delightful gifts
Which make me smile.
Recovery is the Gene
Which comes from staying out of bottles.
The Jin makes treasure possible
But doesn’t bring it to the door.

The ads and billboards of illusion built a world of booze
But no hope for a real life.
I have learned to turn from all the lies of picking up
And live in the possibilities which open
Only when I put down the drink and the thinking.

I don’t need to pin up stockings
Or rub lamps, just take direction
And make willingness my campaign.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 15


The Dark Fantastic


When the tornado touches down worry ends; the anticipation is over and thought stops. Tragedy is funny that way. In the aftermath I find out what mattered and what didn’t; whether I have helped or injured myself trying to plan for the worst. I fail to realize there are cloud filled days when nothing happens and days when trouble comes from out of the blue. What matters ultimately is if I was happy yesterday all the way into today until the thunder struck. Greed is not: living for today; greed is my attempt at gathering the future while dragging the past.



Compel your brilliance to shine

*


AUTUMN

The falling leaves slap my hand
As I ride the road at fifty mile per
My arm dangling.

Exposed they stand stark,
Stripped naked to the soul.
The growth of this years yearnings on the fringe.

I can follow this lead
Remove pretence not clothing
Stand before all who have an interest in seeing me.

Unashamed of my wants and the things I reach for
I can cast off the uniform of evolution
And enjoy a long winter of truth.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 16


Single Serving Sterling


When the menu of life feels vast I must focus on my teaspoon; a simple tool that fits well in my hand, whose use I well understand. The possibilities conceived when I ponder the intangibles conspire to suck me down the rabbit-hole where all that’s left to me is a drug. When I come back to stir my tea and lick the spoon clean the world revolves around me and without need of my completed unified theory. Need looms, loss stacks, salvation keeps a steady distance, my only hope is to drink my tea, I shan’t even sharpen my spoon; I can and need to stay out of my fear built prison and off the streets of hell. My task is at hand and the size of the scoop is a reminder to take all of life in small doses.



Treat hope as a living thing; feed its hunger, quench its thirst
*


NATURAL LAW

Gravity is always in effect
But invoke the laws of lift
And you can make a stone fly.

I have no gills
But strap on a tank and rebreather
And I can share space with the sharks.

Given enough willingness and step work
I can walk through the world sober
Though every cell of my body is alcoholic.

The laws of nature are fluid
When I flow with them I can keep my goals.
Instant gratification is often my stumbling block.

Gaining access to my far-flung desires
Is not impossible
But it is also not immediate.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 17


Go where it’s warm


The intangible rightness of cohesion is difficult to explain. What is it that makes a group congregating into a congregation? What makes a rag tag tousle into a home group? It is the thing I yearn for, but dare not chase. I know this too makes a grub into a butterfly, yet private transformation seems necessary, where the change of masses is gratuitous. A thousand geese fly overhead; arrows of individual miracles, pointing the way to the meaning of it all.


Score your rhythm so you can reflect the music of your soul

*

THE DREAMER

What about the dreamer?
What about her, responds my sponsor.
You ask me about her like I was the one
Who pushed her off the cliff.

Are you saying I pushed her,
I questioned my sponsor.
Yes, that is just what I am saying.
Do you need me to sing it?

You wanted the dreamer to fly off,
To safety and happiness
And wanted her to take you with her.
In an attempt to grab hold of her ankles
And propel her to heaven
You threw her off the precipice.

Now she is broken and bleeding
Far from your sight
Your dreamer is damaged
And you ask about her?

Do you want to know what you did
And how to remedy it
Or were you looking to duck responsibility?

QUACK------

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

[nanners]

Hi All,
I've strayed from this thread in an active time in a time of compulsive overeating, and have not really been back for awhile. I'm back and recommitted to my program.

I became abstinent again when I crossed the Minnesota border at 1:30 AM on Tuesday, August 13th. No more sugar, grains or dairy (except cream in my coffee, and no more diet soda for now. I feel good.

I was the speaker at my OA meeting for the first time ever today. I told my story of recovery, relapse and the beginning of my recovery again. It was well recieved and I got a ton of positive feedback.

Congratulations Sherrie, on your 26 years of sobriety, that is something to be proud of and grateful for.

Thank you for always being here, I know I can come back at anytime, and feel good by reading the words here.

[peachy]

Hi Al Anon was my home for many years. I rarely have a babysitter and I miss those meetings. 12th step meetings are few and far between in the UK unfortunately. My membership there was always a little skewy if that's the right word because my family was affected more by mental illness than by alcohol. There were alcohol and drug addictions too but the mental problems preceded the addictions and were at the crux of it all IMO.

I have a concern about Dissociative Identity Disorder and I wonder if there are any 12th steppers out there who either have DID themselves or have experience of loving someone who has. If so I would be really grateful if you would PM me and if you would share your experience strength and hope on this with me. Or if you know of any online resources.

I have questions about denial in DID, what it feels like, what awareness IS there about it, and what happened that led to a breakthrough.

Thank you.

Peace and Love in the programme xo

[LeftWriteFemme]

August 18


Blind Man’s Bluff

Turning your head to see doesn’t help when you have a blind eye. All the rotation in the world won’t restore your sight. Addressing life problems with a solution involving spin is counter productive and sometimes counter clockwise to boot. If I find I just can’t see, then maybe it’s time to listen better and compensate for my shortcoming through some other action. Turning away doesn’t help and walking away is worse. When I am blind in one eye and can’t see out of the other stepping up to the plate may not be an option, but I still need to find a way to stay in the game.


Molt bad ideas
*

PUBLIC PRIVACY

My public privacy is protected
By my smile not my scowl.
Maintaining boundaries as I travel
The common areas of life
Is more readily accomplished
By a pleasant demeanor than a dark stare.

I have used negative attitude
And found myself outside of my own protection.
The buoyancy of my manner keeps surface tension
A natural and acceptable reality.
Hooded behavior drags every interaction
Into suspicion.

When I make part of my business
To put others at ease
It is easier for me to preserve
My business as my own.

You are reading selections from More Sober on the Way to Sane and Lines From My Life by Sherrie Theriault

Hey peachy, welcome, sorry I can't help with anything related to the mental illness you speak of.

Where in the UK are you. I know there's Al-anon meetings all over the place. Not as many as AA and NA but nonetheless they are there.
Have you looked into online Al-anon meetings?

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/