Butch Femme Planet  

Go Back   Butch Femme Planet > GENDER AND IDENTITY > The Trans Zone

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-26-2012, 12:46 PM   #261
BrutalDaddy
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Her Asshole.
Preferred Pronoun?:
Him, hym, he, whatever.
Relationship Status:
Bitch has no more excuses now.
 
BrutalDaddy's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 519
Thanks: 206
Thanked 2,785 Times in 499 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
BrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by femmsational View Post
Total and complete derail alert.


LOL!! Tell him you are writing an article about penis transplant. Does he have one to donate. You even accept the small ones.


God!!

He'll need a penis transplant if he touches my laptop again.


End Of Derail,
Brute.
BrutalDaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BrutalDaddy For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 12:46 PM   #262
DMW
Member

How Do You Identify?:
FTM/Male (Will 14)
Relationship Status:
Caught An Angel and she doesn't lie!
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: @
Posts: 784
Thanks: 2,256
Thanked 1,861 Times in 614 Posts
Rep Power: 21474848
DMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST ReputationDMW Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
Dmw- Did you read me as saying that you, DMW, are a girl or a lesbian?
No, not at all. That is why i said that there was no need for an apology from anyone. I am and was not offended by what you said. I guess to clarify...i was speaking in general,personal, terms. I don't feel that you were calling me girl or lesbian. I am trying to point out my personal feelings regarding being a transman. I never identified with being lesbian is all that i was, and am, trying to explain or convey.

Last edited by DMW; 10-26-2012 at 12:55 PM.
DMW is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to DMW For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 12:52 PM   #263
Medusa
Mentally Delicious

How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much
Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme.
Relationship Status:
Married to JD.
 
Medusa's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,872 Times in 7,835 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861
Medusa has disabled reputation
Default

Brutal - I liked what you just said about having walked and lived as a Female.

I think that was the crux of what makes us acccessible to each other is that we all honor what we have as a shared context. While some folks on this site don't identify as female on any level, I would say that 100% of the folks on this site were either born as female, raised as a female, or have lived as females at some point in their lives.

That is one of the pieces of glue that makes us recognizeable to each other.

I appreciate that you are willing to share that part of yourself rather than shut it down or act like it never existed. It goes a long, LONG way in helping us understand one another!!
__________________
.
.
.
Medusa is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:02 PM   #264
Medusa
Mentally Delicious

How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much
Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme.
Relationship Status:
Married to JD.
 
Medusa's Avatar
 

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,872 Times in 7,835 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861
Medusa has disabled reputation
Default

Wanted to edit this to my last post but will just add here:

I also think what you said about this site being different neighborhoods of a sort is valuable. The different threads we have here go a long way in helping contain conversations and act like neighborhoods in a city where we have all agreed to live (by posting here).

I do think that we can sometimes hear the next block over having a party and want to join in. Especially if they are playing good music or arguing about who's cat craps on who's lawn. I do think there is a reason that a lot of Transmen might choose to hang out on this site versus go to a site that is exclusively for Transmen and it might go back to that whole shared context thing. Because not only have some Transmen lived as women, but some of them (and a great many of them on this site) have lived as Butches.

The thing I have seen in threads over the years is that if Femmes are having a thread about something specific to them, let's say Femme invisibility, people of other genders are pretty good about policing themselves out of the discussion. I do think that folks of other genders would chime in if one of the Femmes posted something like "I feel more invisible around Transmen and here's why". A Transman might read that and think "oh bull shit" or they might want to engage simply for understanding.

I hope you guys don't feel intruded upon. This conversation has been so valuable and has really helped a lot of folks (me included!) and further than that, I hope that it doesnt feel like an intrusion when folks call out problematic stuff but rather we can look at is as an opportunity to learn from one another.
__________________
.
.
.
Medusa is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:03 PM   #265
BrutalDaddy
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Her Asshole.
Preferred Pronoun?:
Him, hym, he, whatever.
Relationship Status:
Bitch has no more excuses now.
 
BrutalDaddy's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 519
Thanks: 206
Thanked 2,785 Times in 499 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
BrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Medusa View Post
Brutal - I liked what you just said about having walked and lived as a Female.

I think that was the crux of what makes us acccessible to each other is that we all honor what we have as a shared context. While some folks on this site don't identify as female on any level, I would say that 100% of the folks on this site were either born as female, raised as a female, or have lived as females at some point in their lives.

That is one of the pieces of glue that makes us recognizeable to each other.

I appreciate that you are willing to share that part of yourself rather than shut it down or act like it never existed. It goes a long, LONG way in helping us understand one another!!

No matter the fact that I feel 100% male, I was born in a female body. There is no denying that and personally it would be stupid to deny it. Denying that about myself would simply be denying who I am now, the journey I've taken to get to where I am now. To get to this place, literally and figuratively. No amount of surgery will ever erase that nor do I want it to.

It's kind of like my one undeniable link to this place, to these people. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped between two worlds, never truly a part of either. So no matter how embarrassing or shameful some of my past as a female is to me, I still will not deny that I was. If I did then there would be no connection for me and honestly, that thought scares me sometimes.

The only thing I would ever ask in return when sharing this part of myself is that I am seen as who I see myself. A man. I rarely let folks peek into me like this because I have watched their view of me change while I spoke of having lived as a female. Suddenly they can't seem to shake this female version of me and so the male side of me becomes less noticeable. Weird huh?

Wow, I'm seriously rambling now. Sorry folks. That's all I gots for now. So I'll quit boring y'all. Lol.


Done I Think,
Brute.

P.S. The entire post above is completely from my ME place. I can not claim that other FTMs or trans folk feel same way I do. Thanks.

P.S.S. Just read your new post, Medusa and wanted to say that for me, I do not feel intrusion for me at all except when I get told that how I live is wrong. That's all.
BrutalDaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 15 Users Say Thank You to BrutalDaddy For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:12 PM   #266
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,781 Times in 4,469 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by QueenofSmirks View Post
I'm not Medusa- obviously! - but I do have a response to this.

From what I saw, I think what got some feathers ruffled is not the lifestyle and dynamic of your relationship, but rather that that type of lifestyle/dynamic was referred to (by others? - frankly I don't remember the phrase you used) as "50's lifestyle" or "good ole days" -- eras which include a lot of really offensive stuff. As I said in an earlier post, I get what you meant, but I think what you're really saying is you live a representational segment of another time (i.e. traditional binary gender roles), not a lifestyle that represents that whole time period. It's easier just to say "the 50's",but that can be a misrepresentation of what you really meant.

I'm not condoning people jumping all over your ass for it, I do think there is a better way to have a discussion, with clearer language.


Edited to add: I don't think anyone has the right to define for anyone else the dynamic of their relationship,or make judgments on it, regardless of how "wrong" they think it is. To each their own. I also agree that blanket statements suck, and ideals and values and descriptions should never be applied across the board to any group, as others have stated, i.e. "a real man does x, a real femme does y."
QueenofSmirks, I think you get the gist of what some people find troubling, but I would like to know where anyone jumped anyone's ass and where the language is not clear- because I am certainly not seeing it.

The discussion about the good ole June Cleaver days starts on page 8. I have re-read from that point and see nothing.

I see people being very clear about what they object to and very clear that they are not attacking anyone or their relationship. This is where my big frustration lies- when people do make a very big effort to be specific and clear and we are told we are not and we are told we are attacking people.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutalDyke View Post
I guess the reason I just verbally spilled all the above is to simply say I have no issues with female ided butches coming into my "subdivision" to talk nor do I have an issue going into their "subdivision" (they might though! Lol). Because I feel like even though I am FTM, I belong in some sense because I have walked that journey. I know what its like on both sides of the aisle. Only time I feel intrusion is if I get told that the way I choose to live my life with my wife is wrong because it perpetuates isms and oppressions. Really? I know history. Hell my wife has a degree in history so what I don't know, she does. Lol. I just want to live our life as we both want to and others live their life as they see fit. That's all.
Brutal, I bolded part of your post. Where specifically has that happened?

Medusa, not sure if your p.s was aimed at me, but I repped you instead of posting because your Moderating post said this discussion should be moved to another thread, so I didn't think I was allowed to comment. Now it appears the discussion is continuing.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:33 PM   #267
Nomad
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
stone femme Daddy's girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
disinterested
 
Nomad's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: in my head
Posts: 991
Thanks: 5,848
Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Nomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST Reputation
Default

another thing i appreciate about FtMs is that many of them are exploring and expressing masculinity in a very aware and 21st century way that many cis-males my age might not.

many butches are doing the same kind of mindful exploration. so are many femmes and many non-gender fixated people. so are many people of any and every gender and identity. i'm so afraid to post in this damn thread because i might accidentally exclude someone or offend someone because i cant think of every word that's necessary in order to avoid pissing someone off that it's just not enjoyable anymore.


***please assume the automatic "i am not trying to be an asshead" disclaimer***
Nomad is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Nomad For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:38 PM   #268
femmsational
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
bitch, but she will do
Relationship Status:
Spoiled beyond rotten!
 
femmsational's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: lower alabama
Posts: 808
Thanks: 866
Thanked 3,788 Times in 773 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
femmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomad View Post
another thing i appreciate about FtMs is that many of them are exploring and expressing masculinity in a very aware and 21st century way that many cis-males my age might not.

many butches are doing the same kind of mindful exploration. so are many femmes and many non-gender fixated people. so are many people of any and every gender and identity. i'm so afraid to post in this damn thread because i might accidentally exclude someone or offend someone because i cant think of every word that's necessary in order to avoid pissing someone off that it's just not enjoyable anymore.


***please assume the automatic "i am not trying to be an asshead" disclaimer***

I feel the same way. LOL!! It would be funny if it were not so NOT funny!!!


__________________
If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein



Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!
femmsational is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to femmsational For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:40 PM   #269
BrutalDaddy
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Her Asshole.
Preferred Pronoun?:
Him, hym, he, whatever.
Relationship Status:
Bitch has no more excuses now.
 
BrutalDaddy's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: Lower Alabama
Posts: 519
Thanks: 206
Thanked 2,785 Times in 499 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
BrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST ReputationBrutalDaddy Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Would like to add one more thing if I may.

It can get hard for me sometimes because if I go to a place/subdivision where it is exclusively about femmes (as example) then I will post about femmes and leave out the rest of the rainbow, so to speak. If someone gets all pissy because I left out a group then I see that as being on them. Not me. I am visiting a "subdivision" that is all about the femmes. If I visit a "subdivision" that's about the FTMs then I'll post about them and usually them alone. Same goes for female ided butches, etc.

I live in a world that is too politically correct for my taste so when I come here, I try to make damn sure that where I'm posting (the subdivision) is exclusive to that part of the rainbow. If I try to include everyone, I'll spend all damn day typing and more inlikely forget someone. Lol. While I know and understand exclusion, I don't see it as such considering it's about a specific group and not the rainbow as a whole.

So Nomad, thank you for your post because it brought that thought up and wanted to share it. Thanks.


Food For Thought,
Brute.
BrutalDaddy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to BrutalDaddy For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 01:42 PM   #270
*Anya*
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Lesbian non-stone femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
She, her
Relationship Status:
Committed to being good to myself
 

Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: West Coast
Posts: 8,258
Thanks: 39,306
Thanked 40,791 Times in 7,290 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation*Anya* Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutalDyke View Post
No matter the fact that I feel 100% male, I was born in a female body. There is no denying that and personally it would be stupid to deny it. Denying that about myself would simply be denying who I am now, the journey I've taken to get to where I am now. To get to this place, literally and figuratively. No amount of surgery will ever erase that nor do I want it to.

It's kind of like my one undeniable link to this place, to these people. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped between two worlds, never truly a part of either. So no matter how embarrassing or shameful some of my past as a female is to me, I still will not deny that I was. If I did then there would be no connection for me and honestly, that thought scares me sometimes.

The only thing I would ever ask in return when sharing this part of myself is that I am seen as who I see myself. A man. I rarely let folks peek into me like this because I have watched their view of me change while I spoke of having lived as a female. Suddenly they can't seem to shake this female version of me and so the male side of me becomes less noticeable. Weird huh?

Wow, I'm seriously rambling now. Sorry folks. That's all I gots for now. So I'll quit boring y'all. Lol.


Done I Think,
Brute.

P.S. The entire post above is completely from my ME place. I can not claim that other FTMs or trans folk feel same way I do. Thanks.

P.S.S. Just read your new post, Medusa and wanted to say that for me, I do not feel intrusion for me at all except when I get told that how I live is wrong. That's all.
I don't think I have read a post before that has touched me so.

Brutal, that you own that part of yourself, the female experience (whatever that means to and for you) and chose not to erase it, in spite of the pain that it has caused you in your life; says so much about you as a person.

I admire you greatly for this.
__________________
~Anya~




Democracy Dies in Darkness

~Washington Post


"...I'm deeply concerned by recently adopted policies which punish children for their parents’ actions ... The thought that any State would seek to deter parents by inflicting such abuse on children is unconscionable."

UN Human Rights commissioner
*Anya* is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to *Anya* For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 02:29 PM   #271
QueenofSmirks
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Just Me
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
Busy
 
QueenofSmirks's Avatar
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Phoenix - Valley of the Sun
Posts: 1,429
Thanks: 1,010
Thanked 2,920 Times in 879 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
QueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BullDog View Post
QueenofSmirks, I think you get the gist of what some people find troubling, but I would like to know where anyone jumped anyone's ass and where the language is not clear- because I am certainly not seeing it.

The discussion about the good ole June Cleaver days starts on page 8. I have re-read from that point and see nothing.

I see people being very clear about what they object to and very clear that they are not attacking anyone or their relationship. This is where my big frustration lies- when people do make a very big effort to be specific and clear and we are told we are not and we are told we are attacking people.
I'll have to go back through the thread when I'm not doing this by cell phone to respond to the first part of your first paragraph above re: ass jumping, (which could be mistaken for a new fetish, if taken out of context).

As to the second part of that paragraph - about not being clear - I referenced it in 2 different posts. I talked about using phrases like "the good ole days" and "50's housewife" to describe a relationship that consists of traditional binary gender roles, which is probably only representative of about 2% of what that time period was all about, which would be a misrepresentation of the relationship being described. So, if you missed that, I'll try to find the links to those specific posts.

As to the last paragraph - I disagree. I see some people were very clear about not attacking anyone, and some not so clear. So, if you decided to take my statement and apply it to everyone including yourself, i.e. your use of "we", then I can see why we disagree. However, I did see some rather snarky responses and comments from people who were NOT clear, and mistook the INTENTION of some people's use of certain phrases and terms, and decided to make all sorts of assumptions and run with it. So, with that said, I stand behind my post.
__________________
Stephanie

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher Morley

Last edited by QueenofSmirks; 10-26-2012 at 02:32 PM.
QueenofSmirks is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to QueenofSmirks For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 02:36 PM   #272
Nomad
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
stone femme Daddy's girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
disinterested
 
Nomad's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: in my head
Posts: 991
Thanks: 5,848
Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Nomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrutalDyke View Post
Would like to add one more thing if I may.

It can get hard for me sometimes because if I go to a place/subdivision where it is exclusively about femmes (as example) then I will post about femmes and leave out the rest of the rainbow, so to speak. If someone gets all pissy because I left out a group then I see that as being on them. Not me. I am visiting a "subdivision" that is all about the femmes. If I visit a "subdivision" that's about the FTMs then I'll post about them and usually them alone. Same goes for female ided butches, etc.


yes. this was my original thought too. i'm not excluding anyone. i'm commenting on the topic at hand
.

I live in a world that is too politically correct for my taste so when I come here, I try to make damn sure that where I'm posting (the subdivision) is exclusive to that part of the rainbow. If I try to include everyone, I'll spend all damn day typing and more inlikely forget someone. Lol. While I know and understand exclusion, I don't see it as such considering it's about a specific group and not the rainbow as a whole.

yes. it's exhausting to worry about who's going to be pissed because i didnt include them. it's equally maddening to find that there's an assumption that i'm doing something purposely when i've simply made a mistake or a misstep.


So Nomad, thank you for your post because it brought that thought up and wanted to share it. Thanks.


Food For Thought,
Brute.
me in blue

and thanks for sharing your thoughts. i appreciate your clearer version of my own scattered and somewhat whiny post
Nomad is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Nomad For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 02:51 PM   #273
BullDog
Infamous Member

How Do You Identify?:
Dominant Stone Butch Daddy
Preferred Pronoun?:
She
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: In A Healing Place
Posts: 5,371
Thanks: 18,160
Thanked 22,781 Times in 4,469 Posts
Rep Power: 21474856
BullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST ReputationBullDog Has the BEST Reputation
Default

QueenofSmirks, thank you for your reply! I still don't quite understand, but don't want you to have to use up your time to dredge through stuff unless you want to. I think the part of not being specific was not about people who had objections.

Nomad, I have no idea why you feel the need to walk on eggshells. People do not get offended at every little thing. People have been quite specific about what is bothering them.

Brutal and Femmsational, I have never once thought of you as a couple that follow any sort of stereotypical patterns at all. I think you are quite unique and have no idea why you would think I thought you were anything but that.

The whole lesbian thing... wow... ok then. Just in case anyone is indirectly referring to my post about lesbian feminist household- that was me saying that even lesbian households may have some dynamics and/or division of labor that may look stereotypical- as in me taking out the garbage and my femme partner cooking. We just don't aspire to some past era to do so.

The next time I hear mention of June Clever I will just keep my mouth shut and go read Snow's thread.
__________________
Love consists in this, that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

- Rainer Maria Rilke
BullDog is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to BullDog For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 02:56 PM   #274
The_Lady_Snow
MILLION $$$ PUSSY

How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms.
Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
 
The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873
The_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST Reputation
Thumbs down OY!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nomad View Post
another thing i appreciate about FtMs is that many of them are exploring and expressing masculinity in a very aware and 21st century way that many cis-males my age might not.

many butches are doing the same kind of mindful exploration. so are many femmes and many non-gender fixated people. so are many people of any and every gender and identity. i'm so afraid to post in this damn thread because i might accidentally exclude someone or offend someone because i cant think of every word that's necessary in order to avoid pissing someone off that it's just not enjoyable anymore.


***please assume the automatic "i am not trying to be an asshead" disclaimer***


Stuff like this, the whole I am afraid of X Y Z just because their opinion is different is unfair.


It paints people in a negative, ugly, tone and it's flaming the situation.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden


The_Lady_Snow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 03:04 PM   #275
femmsational
Member

How Do You Identify?:
femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
bitch, but she will do
Relationship Status:
Spoiled beyond rotten!
 
femmsational's Avatar
 

Join Date: May 2012
Location: lower alabama
Posts: 808
Thanks: 866
Thanked 3,788 Times in 773 Posts
Rep Power: 21474849
femmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputationfemmsational Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
Stuff like this, the whole I am afraid of X Y Z just because their opinion is different is unfair.


It paints people in a negative, ugly, tone and it's flaming the situation.
Yet, if it's felt by more than one person, and expressed respectfully...should we maybe look at that? Tease that out a bit??

Curious really.
__________________
If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough" Albert Einstein



Yes, I'm aware I can't spell, and no, I don't care quite enough to spell check. Sorry!!!
femmsational is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to femmsational For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 03:21 PM   #276
The_Lady_Snow
MILLION $$$ PUSSY

How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms.
Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
 
The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873
The_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST Reputation
Default Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by femmsational View Post
Yet, if it's felt by more than one person, and expressed respectfully...should we maybe look at that? Tease that out a bit??

Curious really.


No one is instilling fear into the thread, what has happened is people have stated different views. It's common for people to start claiming that "they are afraid" I am not saying Nomad was saying that, but her words can be and obviously have been interpreted that way.


I've lost count of how many people have referred to me as scary or have gone to say how afraid they are to post because I posted. I wanted to clarify why I said what I said.
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden



Last edited by The_Lady_Snow; 10-26-2012 at 03:23 PM. Reason: Had to tease it out some more
The_Lady_Snow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 04:42 PM   #277
Guy
Senior Member

How Do You Identify?:
.
 
Guy's Avatar
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: .
Posts: 1,858
Thanks: 2,258
Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
Guy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST ReputationGuy Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Just wanted to clarify my post earlier since I wrote it in a hurry as I was on my way out the door.

I agree that we should all be able to go into any thread or forum on this site. However, I think, if you go into a thread that does not pertain to your lifestyle, then you need to keep an open mind while reading, and be respectful of that lifestyle while posting.
Guy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Guy For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 05:05 PM   #278
The_Lady_Snow
MILLION $$$ PUSSY

How Do You Identify?:
Kinky, Raw, Perverted, Uber Queer Alpha Femme
Preferred Pronoun?:
Iconic Ms.
Relationship Status:
Keeper of 3, only one has the map to my freckles
 
The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
 

Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ** La Reina del Sur**
Posts: 22,488
Thanks: 32,231
Thanked 80,119 Times in 15,678 Posts
Rep Power: 21474873
The_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST ReputationThe_Lady_Snow Has the BEST Reputation
Red face Thoughts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy View Post
Just wanted to clarify my post earlier since I wrote it in a hurry as I was on my way out the door.

I agree that we should all be able to go into any thread or forum on this site. However, I think, if you go into a thread that does not pertain to your lifestyle, then you need to keep an open mind while reading, and be respectful of that lifestyle while posting.


That same expectation should pertain to people posting in that particular lifestyle thread.


It's really easy to state what one's desires/needs/wants are without having to shit down the necks of others.


I believe that is what is being discussed here, I certainly do not have a say so on what rocks anyone's relationship boat, I don't like it when folks do it to me so I am pretty adamant about respecting other's likes/desires/needs/wants/dynamics, matter of fact I say RAWK ON!!!
__________________
"If you’re going to play these dirty games of ours, then you might as well indulge completely. It’s all about turning back into an animal and that’s the beauty of it. Place your guilt on the sidewalk and take a blow torch to it (guilt is usually worthless anyway). Be perverted, be filthy, do things that mannered people shouldn’t do. If you’re going to be gross then go for it and don’t wimp out."---Master Aiden


The_Lady_Snow is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to The_Lady_Snow For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 05:07 PM   #279
Nomad
Timed Out

How Do You Identify?:
stone femme Daddy's girl
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
disinterested
 
Nomad's Avatar
 

Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: in my head
Posts: 991
Thanks: 5,848
Thanked 3,745 Times in 734 Posts
Rep Power: 0
Nomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST ReputationNomad Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow View Post
Stuff like this, the whole I am afraid of X Y Z just because their opinion is different is unfair.


It paints people in a negative, ugly, tone and it's flaming the situation.

this is completely fair. thank you for pointing it out Lady Snow. i did not intend to create negative or ugly circumstances. my tone was not inflammatory in my head. (is it ever?)

you've given me the chance to consider my state of mind when i made that post. i wasnt feeling singled out or disagreed with or attacked. i did not mean to indicate that anyone was being unfair with regard to something i'd said, done, expressed or otherwise. i was actually worried about not being clear or thought of as disrespectful if i wasnt all inclusive because i sometimes feel that that's the way the threads are leaning.

i should have said that i am nervous, rather than afraid --- nervous to be seen as being excluding or othering if i dont include everyone in the things i appreciate about FtMs. i have felt recently that there are those who mistake things like "I like ABC about unicorns" as an indication that the poster didnt think or acknowledge that zebras and tortoises also did ABC. if the forum is dedicated to unicorns, i comment about unicorns. it doesnt mean that i dont also love zebras.

thank you for rattling my cage. i like it when people do that. and for the record, i've never been afraid of You. inspired, yes. unsettled, yes. challenged, yes. treated fairly, yes. verklempt, yes. hot and bothered, yes. but never even once afraid.
Nomad is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Nomad For This Useful Post:
Old 10-26-2012, 05:08 PM   #280
QueenofSmirks
Member

How Do You Identify?:
Just Me
Preferred Pronoun?:
she/her
Relationship Status:
Busy
 
QueenofSmirks's Avatar
 
1 Highscore

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Phoenix - Valley of the Sun
Posts: 1,429
Thanks: 1,010
Thanked 2,920 Times in 879 Posts
Rep Power: 21474852
QueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST ReputationQueenofSmirks Has the BEST Reputation
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Guy View Post
Just wanted to clarify my post earlier since I wrote it in a hurry as I was on my way out the door.

I agree that we should all be able to go into any thread or forum on this site. However, I think, if you go into a thread that does not pertain to your lifestyle, then you need to keep an open mind while reading, and be respectful of that lifestyle while posting.
Hi Guy,

I'm not trying to start an argument here, but I'm interested in knowing where you feel people in here were being disrespectful? Actually, to be more specific, are you implying that people were being disrespectful to trans folks? If so, in which way? I'm not saying it didn't happen, but my focus was elsewhere.
__________________
Stephanie

"There is only one success - to be able to spend your life in your own way." Christopher Morley
QueenofSmirks is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:47 PM.


ButchFemmePlanet.com
All information copyright of BFP 2018