Significant Age Gaps in Relationships

gotoseagrl · 01-24-2016, 01:52 PM

There is a similar thread out there, but I wanted to shift the focus a bit here. In general, I've always preferred someone older than me, but my Partner and I have 20 years between us, and since the first day we met, we have found that it works beautifully. We seem to have more in common than we've had with others in smaller age gap relationships. When we are around each other, we never notice the difference. In fact, we only notice the benefits. Our only realistic concern is of course about who would go first. And that doesn't necessarily have to come down to age, but possibly health conditions as well. Other than that, we wouldn't have it any other way.

Our energy levels, personality quirks, lifestyles, goals, interests and major beliefs are identical. So much so that we are able to work and be side by side, literally, 24/7, and we love it that way. A lot of our life experiences and where we come from are very similar as well, and we never run out of things to talk about or love about one another as our minds & souls are wired the same way. We feel that when these things are compatible, not only can a larger age difference work well, but it can be the best relationship you have.

~ Are you or have you been in a romantic relationship with a significant age difference?
~ If so, does it work for you? How so?
~ Do you prefer someone older, younger or close to your age?
~ If you haven't been in one, would you consider it?

Gayandgray · 01-24-2016, 03:57 PM

We have a 26yr age difference between us, and it has never been a problem in the 25yrs that we have been together. Her children thought is was awful in the beginning and so did my mother. Funny thing is, my mom has been married and divorced several times, and my spouse's children have done the same, while the two of us have stayed together all this time. We never really talked about who would pass away first until she had her stroke. Actually, the age difference is coming in handy now because I have the energy and stamina to take care of her and the household. If we were closer in age it would probably be a lot harder, I'm sure. I always say the Goddess knew what she was doing when she brought us together!

Blade · 01-24-2016, 04:31 PM

I haven't been in a relationship with a huge age difference, it was only 8 yrs, but that was enough years to make me realize that I play better in my own age group.

I am not in a relationship at this time and wouldn't consider one with a big age difference. Maybe 4 or 5 years either way, usually younger.

I know people that it has worked for, and hope it continues to work for those here on BFP, but it's not for me.

Great topic!

imperfect_cupcake · 01-24-2016, 10:02 PM

I've been with someone 14 years younger who was more mature than me in many ways.
My flatmate right now is 30 and I'm 46 and she has figured things out that I only got two years ago.
I have been with people 15 years my senior and were much more emotionally immature than me. Or on par with me.

Basically, emotional level of understanding what you need to do, plus stage of life does NOT come gaurenteed at any age.

I wasn't ready to get married until I was 40. I didn't even think about buying a home for myself until last year (45). All I wanted to do until three years ago was travel and see the world. I didn't care about security or a stable life. I dated a 54 year old Butch a couple years ago that just wanted to live on a bus and roadie like she had always done. Very laid back and wicked sense of humour. But very different person to the 32 year old I dated who had a job programming AI softwear who just bought her own place and had just lost her first long term relationship of 12 years. But was hoping to get married again when the right person came along.

Some would call the second person more mature than the first.

To me they were mature in different ways.

I think after 12 years in the age gap, I'd start to get uncomfortable. I don't think 8 years is significant of a gap. Not at age 46.

Rockinonahigh · 01-24-2016, 11:17 PM

I have not done this ,but lots of my aunts and uncles and my grand parents had many years in age between them before marriage, any where from 15 to 20 years. I have two cousins that are married to there s.o. that are at least ten years diffrent in age. As far as I know they went through a lot to finely tie the knot and were in good happy marriages. I'm not against it and sure wouldn't have a problem at all with it.

catlady · 01-27-2016, 05:13 PM

My fiancee is 3 years older than me but not a significant age gap. I personally prefer women older than me

I always ended up crushing on older people when I was younger anyway haha. I'm currently 22, but if my fiancee was 30-40 I wouldn't care.

01-24-2016, 01:52 PM	#1
gotoseagrl Senior Member How Do You Identify?: old-fashioned queer stone submissive girl Preferred Pronoun?: mermaid, very lucky babygirl Relationship Status: Saltwater mermaid ♡ Join Date: May 2010 Location: CA Posts: 2,209 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,192 Thanked 6,116 Times in 1,726 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	Significant Age Gaps in Relationships There is a similar thread out there, but I wanted to shift the focus a bit here. In general, I've always preferred someone older than me, but my Partner and I have 20 years between us, and since the first day we met, we have found that it works beautifully. We seem to have more in common than we've had with others in smaller age gap relationships. When we are around each other, we never notice the difference. In fact, we only notice the benefits. Our only realistic concern is of course about who would go first. And that doesn't necessarily have to come down to age, but possibly health conditions as well. Other than that, we wouldn't have it any other way. Our energy levels, personality quirks, lifestyles, goals, interests and major beliefs are identical. So much so that we are able to work and be side by side, literally, 24/7, and we love it that way. A lot of our life experiences and where we come from are very similar as well, and we never run out of things to talk about or love about one another as our minds & souls are wired the same way. We feel that when these things are compatible, not only can a larger age difference work well, but it can be the best relationship you have. ~ Are you or have you been in a romantic relationship with a significant age difference? ~ If so, does it work for you? How so? ~ Do you prefer someone older, younger or close to your age? ~ If you haven't been in one, would you consider it? __________________ Be still when you have nothing to say; when genuine passion moves you, say what you've got to say, and say it hot. D. H. Lawrence

01-24-2016, 03:57 PM	#2
Gayandgray Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme-ish, tomboy lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Together a really long time Join Date: Jan 2016 Location: In my mind? On a tropical island Posts: 4,857 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 13,579 Thanked 12,910 Times in 3,079 Posts Rep Power: 21474849	We have a 26yr age difference between us, and it has never been a problem in the 25yrs that we have been together. Her children thought is was awful in the beginning and so did my mother. Funny thing is, my mom has been married and divorced several times, and my spouse's children have done the same, while the two of us have stayed together all this time. We never really talked about who would pass away first until she had her stroke. Actually, the age difference is coming in handy now because I have the energy and stamina to take care of her and the household. If we were closer in age it would probably be a lot harder, I'm sure. I always say the Goddess knew what she was doing when she brought us together! __________________

01-24-2016, 04:31 PM	#3
Blade Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: TG Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: once in a while someone amazing comes along...and here I am! Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Down on the farm Posts: 5,492 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,850 Thanked 14,400 Times in 4,049 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	I haven't been in a relationship with a huge age difference, it was only 8 yrs, but that was enough years to make me realize that I play better in my own age group. I am not in a relationship at this time and wouldn't consider one with a big age difference. Maybe 4 or 5 years either way, usually younger. I know people that it has worked for, and hope it continues to work for those here on BFP, but it's not for me. Great topic! __________________ Yeah so what if I'm triple dipped in awesome sauce? The best way to predict the future, is to create it.

01-27-2016, 05:13 PM	#6
catlady Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Lesbian Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Engaged Join Date: Sep 2014 Location: New York Posts: 79 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 85 Thanked 259 Times in 63 Posts Rep Power: 2454743	My fiancee is 3 years older than me but not a significant age gap. I personally prefer women older than me I always ended up crushing on older people when I was younger anyway haha. I'm currently 22, but if my fiancee was 30-40 I wouldn't care. __________________ My FictionPress: www.fictionpress.com/~thecrazycatlady

01-24-2016, 10:02 PM	#4
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've been with someone 14 years younger who was more mature than me in many ways. My flatmate right now is 30 and I'm 46 and she has figured things out that I only got two years ago. I have been with people 15 years my senior and were much more emotionally immature than me. Or on par with me. Basically, emotional level of understanding what you need to do, plus stage of life does NOT come gaurenteed at any age. I wasn't ready to get married until I was 40. I didn't even think about buying a home for myself until last year (45). All I wanted to do until three years ago was travel and see the world. I didn't care about security or a stable life. I dated a 54 year old Butch a couple years ago that just wanted to live on a bus and roadie like she had always done. Very laid back and wicked sense of humour. But very different person to the 32 year old I dated who had a job programming AI softwear who just bought her own place and had just lost her first long term relationship of 12 years. But was hoping to get married again when the right person came along. Some would call the second person more mature than the first. To me they were mature in different ways. I think after 12 years in the age gap, I'd start to get uncomfortable. I don't think 8 years is significant of a gap. Not at age 46.

01-24-2016, 11:17 PM	#5
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,936 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	I have not done this ,but lots of my aunts and uncles and my grand parents had many years in age between them before marriage, any where from 15 to 20 years. I have two cousins that are married to there s.o. that are at least ten years diffrent in age. As far as I know they went through a lot to finely tie the knot and were in good happy marriages. I'm not against it and sure wouldn't have a problem at all with it.