I am so QUEER!

[Stacy]

QUEER
   /kwɪər/ Show Spelled [kweer] Show IPA adjective, -er, -est, verb, noun
–adjective
1.
strange or odd from a conventional viewpoint; unusually different; singular: a queer notion of justice.

2.of a questionable nature or character; suspicious; shady: Something queer about the language of the prospectus kept investors away.
3.not feeling physically right or well; giddy, faint, or qualmish: to feel queer.
4.mentally unbalanced or deranged.
5.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive .
a.homosexual.
b.effeminate; unmanly.
6.Slang . bad, worthless, or counterfeit.
–verb (used with object)
7.to spoil; ruin.
8.to put (a person) in a hopeless or disadvantageous situation as to success, favor, etc.
9.to jeopardize.
–noun
10.Slang: Disparaging and Offensive . a homosexual, especially a male homosexual.
11.Slang . counterfeit money.
—Idiom
12.queer the pitch, British Informal . to spoil the chances of success.
Use queer in a Sentence
See images of queer
Search queer on the Web
Origin:
1500–10; perhaps < German quer oblique, cross, adverse

—Related forms
queer·ly, adverb
queer·ness, noun

—Synonyms
1. unconventional, curious, freakish, eccentric, weird. See strange.

—Antonyms
1. ordinary.

When I claimed the identity/label of queer several years ago I did it because of definition #1. I am not conventional and my viewpoint, especially as far as my sexuality goes varies from the norm. By norm, I mean in both the straight world and the homosexual world. I also chose it because of it's synonyms, which all describe me, and because of it's antonym, "ordinary", which is something I have never wanted to be. As far back as my memory goes I have been working to be anything but ordinary. I feel I've been successful in that endeavor.

All the other definitions of queer pertain to me in some way if I'm being honest, and depending on who you ask. I don't consider myself shady, and try to be just the opposite. I do however, feel I am born from a questionable nature. I am the big rainbow phoenix that has dared to rise up from the dysfunctional ashes of my childhood.

I am not physically right. I don't fit into societal norm of what beauty is. I am a queer fat femme-ish deviant. I may have a big ass, but honey, I have a big heart, and a big laugh, and I can rock my husband's world. It has taken me so many years to see my beauty, and to own it. I always thought if I loved myself as fat, then I would never lose weight. Self acceptance doesn't equal complacency. I still would like to lose some weight and be healthier. That is all that will happen to me though. I will be healthier. I will not be any more beautiful or more attractive to my husband.

"Mentally Unbalanced"... again, if I'm being honest, actually, if we're all being honest, aren't we all just a little? I know I certainly have my days.

"Disparaging"?? Ohferfuckssake! Of course I am disparaging. If you don't love the word fuck, if your tongue doesn't tingle the word fuck rolls off the tip of it, if you're ears don't perk when you hear spoken, then you probably won't enjoy my company.

"Homosexual" Well, I am not a lesbian. I am married to a man. Right? However, I am married to a transsexual man. I could never, and would never be married to a biological man again. I was though for 13 years. I was then in a relationship with a woman for two. Then I found my soul mate, who as fate would have it, was a transman. I am married to man, so I must be straight then. Right? Wrong!! I am far from straight. Ask any of the friendly dancers at our favorite strip club how much I love a good lap dance. Ask my husband how "not straight" I am.


As far as the last two, I may be effeminate, but that's a good thing, and I am certainly not worthless, and I'm not sure why that is even under the definition of queer. I think someone needs to rewrite that shit.

For me, being queer isn't just my label, it's my identity. It's my total package wrapped up in a big rainbow flag. To me it is a powerful word. Nobody could ever use it against me in a negative way because I love it too much.

So if you ID as Queer like I do, I'd love to hear from you. I searched the forums and didn't find any threads about this. So I hope I'm not stepping on any toes by starting this. I just thought we needed a place to have some big queer conversations about big queer issues or whatnot.

This is probably my longest post ever.
/post

[iamkeri1]

Well I don't love it as much as you do, but queer is a good choice for me as well. I internally also identify as lesbian, but the life I live after 25 years of marriage to an FTM man is straight. After his death I spent three years trying to see if I could "stand" to be with a straight man - for my kids sake. Some of them (straight men) are fairly nice, but the thought of having sex with one kinda gagged me (so I never did.)

On impulse one night, I did a computer search for my peeps - the B-F community, and ended up first at the dash site and then here. While I have taken many small steps out of the closet I was in for many years, I still spend most of my life there because I still haven't talked to my kids about myself. But good news ... I'm no longer feeling like I might gag, LOL. Call me queer.

Smooches,
Keri

[ravfem]

my granny started calling me queer (she pronounced it "quaar") when i was pretty young. Even back then, i kinda liked the label.

[princessbelle]

I know for a fact one thing. I am femme. No doubts in my mind at all.

I used to also identify as gay. Now not so much. I date FTMs or Trans so gay doesn't for me, work very good anymore. I've never ID'd as lesbian.

I like the name queer, but i've never IDed that way.

Thank you for stating your convictions and for all the good info.

Good thread.

[Arwen]

Queer here as well. It's the only label that really truly fits me. S, that was a rocking, kick-ass, fucking amazing post. I now worship you. I'll be back.

[girl_dee]

Queer here!

[foxyshaman]

Thanks for starting this thread. I have never really understood the use of the term/label queer. I have read what has been posted when I find it. So, I am here for an education.

Thanks for attempting to edumacate me.....

[SelfMadeMan]

Another queer checking in! Great idea for a thread sweetie!

[rlin]

i was gay... then i was queer...
lately i have moved to being a big ol homo...

i love the look on peeps faces when i say it...

[Stacy]

Thanks to everyone who has popped in and contributed to the convo. I love me some queers!

[iamkeri1]

Originally Posted by rlin

i was gay... then i was queer...
lately i have moved to being a big ol homo...

i love the look on peeps faces when i say it...

rlin
I must say i love the "big ol homo" thing too. I'd love to be there to see you use it.
Smooches,
Keri

[ana]

Originally Posted by Deviant

I am not physically right. I don't fit into societal norm of what beauty is. I am a queer fat femme-ish deviant. I may have a big ass, but honey, I have a big heart, and a big laugh, and I can rock my husband's world. It has taken me so many years to see my beauty, and to own it. I always thought if I loved myself as fat, then I would never lose weight. Self acceptance doesn't equal complacency. I still would like to lose some weight and be healthier. That is all that will happen to me though. I will be healthier. I will not be any more beautiful or more attractive to my husband.

I. Love. This. Post. Seriously. My very favorite part, though they were many, is the bit I plucked out and quoted above. I've had an off day today, and that really made me feel better. I read it and smiled because it spoke to me, even though my story is a bit different. I work hard to believe that those who find me beautiful find that in me because of who I am -- all of me, even the bits Cosmo tells me I should hide.

Thank you.

[Little Fish]

Yep.
Queer butch over here too.

It's the only thing that really conveys the seamless and fluid way that both my masculine and feminine "live" together in me. On any given day I feel about 60-70% masculine with the balance my innate female side. I'm incredibly comfortable in my skin and inhabit my masculine exterior with genuine ease. Now I'm straying a bit into presentation but I'll also say this--there is no way anyone is going to see me as anything other than queer. I am a Butch. Capital B thank you, it's a noun. When I walk into a room, I instantly broadcast who and what I am about--there is no mistaking it! lol----I find it to be very efficient !
Those men and women who choose to interact and engage with me have essentially self-selected for being okay with women, lesbians and butches. I've become my own litmus test.

But queering the norm?--yeah, that's how I feel too.

The label "queer" is also certainly age cohort dependent too imo--I find that other LGBTetc folks who are >35yo tend to shy away from using it--I assume because they were largely influenced buy the gender theories of 2nd wave feminism. Certainly younger folks are more apt to embrace "queer" without stigma.

[Cin]

Originally Posted by Little Fish

Yep.
Queer butch over here too.

It's the only thing that really conveys the seamless and fluid way that both my masculine and feminine "live" together in me. On any given day I feel about 60-70% masculine with the balance my innate female side. I'm incredibly comfortable in my skin and inhabit my masculine exterior with genuine ease. Now I'm straying a bit into presentation but I'll also say this--there is no way anyone is going to see me as anything other than queer. I am a Butch. Capital B thank you, it's a noun. When I walk into a room, I instantly broadcast who and what I am about--there is no mistaking it! lol----I find it to be very efficient !
Those men and women who choose to interact and engage with me have essentially self-selected for being okay with women, lesbians and butches. I've become my own litmus test.

But queering the norm?--yeah, that's how I feel too.

The label "queer" is also certainly age cohort dependent too imo--I find that other LGBTetc folks who are >35yo tend to shy away from using it--I assume because they were largely influenced buy the gender theories of 2nd wave feminism. Certainly younger folks are more apt to embrace "queer" without stigma.

I easily recognize myself in what you said here about instantly broadcasting who and what you are about when you walk into a room, I do that as well. And I do identify as queer and certainly as butch. I also identify as a woman, a lesbian and a feminist. I don’t think I was as influenced by the gender theories of 2nd wave feminism as I was by women’s position in society and because of this I find that women’s issues will forever be of utmost importance for me. I direct my energy first toward the queer community. But women’s issues in general are very important to me. I still feel very comfortable with the label queer though. No stigma to me. It has always felt right.

[*Anya*]

I have never identified myself as queer-maybe it is because I am over the 35-years old (way over baby!) age range as stated by Little Fish.

I have zero problem with how anyone else identifies.

I believe all of us have the right to identify ourselves and I do feel totally comfortable living under the all-inclusive LGBTQ umbrella.

I am a lesbian. It just fits and is a very hard-won identity for me that took years to accept.

[puddin']

int'restin' conversations fo' sho'. i pop in and read on occasion, but to date haven't responded.

i'm 53 and identify, at dis point in me life, as a queer as boi! lol

i haven't always identified as queer. i've gone through mana diff'rent phases and identities ova da years. to be honest, i prolly would've identified as queer at a much younger age, except it was quite a derogatory term back in da day.

jus' me 2 cents tossed in...