Communication 101: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

Hack · 06-20-2010, 09:10 AM

What I personally find interesting is that I seem to have a different communications style at work than I do in my personal life. At work, I am ham-fisted blunt and I sometimes interrupt people. I mean, to the point where I have written on the back of my hand "shut up and listen" before I go in to a meeting. My job is to steer the communications/public relations image for an entire organization, so when I see people veering off the path I have put us all on that's when I become the interrupting, way too direct prick, I think. And when dealing with certain members of the media, I am the same way. Yet, it seems to work for my boss, who heads up the entire organization, and prefers that I am pro-active and aggressive -- interesting that this is the way she sees it, though, compared to how I view it, right?

In my personal life, I am just the opposite. When I meet someone, they usually tell me how quiet I am.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I have spent the last 4 years in therapy working on communication issues. What I have come to learn is that so much of how we communicate is shaped by experience since birth. I was brought up in a house where shiny, happy children were seen, but not heard. And then given no basis for emotional intelligence as a child, I found myself behind the learning curve as a young adult. While I am still painfully shy, I find it much easier, thanks to therapy, to communicate my needs, desires and to tell people no. "No" is one of the first words we learn, but it is often the most difficult to say. The other big part of communicating, of course, is listening...and I think a lot of people forget that. It's just not about talking, but being an engaged listener as well.

Jake

06-20-2010, 09:10 AM	#21
Hack Just a guy. How Do You Identify?: Just a guy Preferred Pronoun?: male Relationship Status: Sparkle's consort Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: MA Posts: 1,458 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 807 Thanked 3,784 Times in 960 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	What I personally find interesting is that I seem to have a different communications style at work than I do in my personal life. At work, I am ham-fisted blunt and I sometimes interrupt people. I mean, to the point where I have written on the back of my hand "shut up and listen" before I go in to a meeting. My job is to steer the communications/public relations image for an entire organization, so when I see people veering off the path I have put us all on that's when I become the interrupting, way too direct prick, I think. And when dealing with certain members of the media, I am the same way. Yet, it seems to work for my boss, who heads up the entire organization, and prefers that I am pro-active and aggressive -- interesting that this is the way she sees it, though, compared to how I view it, right? In my personal life, I am just the opposite. When I meet someone, they usually tell me how quiet I am. I'm not ashamed to admit that I have spent the last 4 years in therapy working on communication issues. What I have come to learn is that so much of how we communicate is shaped by experience since birth. I was brought up in a house where shiny, happy children were seen, but not heard. And then given no basis for emotional intelligence as a child, I found myself behind the learning curve as a young adult. While I am still painfully shy, I find it much easier, thanks to therapy, to communicate my needs, desires and to tell people no. "No" is one of the first words we learn, but it is often the most difficult to say. The other big part of communicating, of course, is listening...and I think a lot of people forget that. It's just not about talking, but being an engaged listener as well. Jake