03-05-2010, 08:57 AM | #201 |
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Huge Smile!
I will back later to post individually! But thank you each and every one for making me smile this morning! We really do walk very similar roads! Happy Friday!
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03-05-2010, 10:33 AM | #202 | ||||
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My parents were Southern Baptist Missionaries, so I have issues with religion and God as a celestial dude...but I am working through this and finding my own type of spirituality I can handle. I went to 14 different schools from kindergartden to 12th grade....yes I have spent a lot of time wanting to be invisible. I pretend I am a lot of the time. I had a horrible time learning to take a compliment until my Mamaw told me to always just say "thank you" that it was good manners and thats what matters. But I don't always believe the compliments and good manners are not all that matters. Thank you so much for sharing and being here for us! Quote:
Tha k you so much for being here, sharing and telling us we matter! Quote:
We really do share many of the same thoughts. Quote:
Really until I read the thread this morning! and now I know that we all feel the same way. So glad the thread is back on track!
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03-05-2010, 11:23 AM | #203 |
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My PTSD is in full swing. I am just taking some time out from sharing. I am not delusional or have multiple personalities. This is for me, and my boundaries.
Thanks everyone. Love to all, Andrew |
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03-05-2010, 11:29 AM | #204 | |
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Enjoy your time off and feel better! Spring is almost here.
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03-09-2010, 01:59 PM | #205 |
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Hello hello!!!
Just popping in to say hi and let you all know I was thinking of you! I pray that all of us here have a wonderful PTSD-free week! See ya here! Shug |
03-09-2010, 03:54 PM | #206 |
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Hey there Shug! Son far so good on my week, I hope yours is great too!
Hey, I was wondering if anyone would be interested in doing something for the raffle at the reunion? What do you all think? Maybe something we find helpful for relaxing on a spun out day, that might be helpful to anyone?
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03-09-2010, 05:12 PM | #207 | ||||
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I never wanted to be visible when I was younger, but unfotunately being overweight I was always visible (and not in a good way). My peers constantly put Me down for being fat; they would call Me names (hippo, elephant etc), stomp their feet or shake lockers when I walked by like I was gonna cause an earthquake, knocked My books out of My hands, threw things at Me in class when the teachers were gone, just anything to make My life a living hell. And then there is My father, and we could be here forever discussing his negative impact on My life from age 13 until this very day ............ He constantly calls Me a lazy ass, making sure that I know he thinks I'm worthless and wont ever amount to a hill of beans. My depression/panic/anxiety attacks he figures are My excuse to sit at home and do nothing (which isn't true, since he has no idea what its like), its his way or the highway ~ don't like what he says (and because its HIS place and HE pays the bills etc) there is the door dont let it hit your ass on the way out. I'm constantly having to justify Myself to him; whatever I do he has to know about and says he wants to know about My day, but all he wants to do is criticize Me for what I have (or haven't) done. This is My vent/rant for the day, thanks for listening and I'm glad that we all have this space here for this very purpose (and to know that we all support one another because we know what others are going through) Quote:
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03-09-2010, 05:17 PM | #208 | |
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03-09-2010, 05:19 PM | #209 |
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I could make a small cross-stitch picture and maybe frame it too for someone to put up in their house
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03-09-2010, 05:35 PM | #210 | |
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Sending you a big huge hug, Braedon
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03-09-2010, 05:37 PM | #211 |
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03-09-2010, 06:35 PM | #212 |
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One of my most favorite & treasured item I have is a cross-stiched framed saying just the word "FAITH" that my oldest niece did. It is gorgeous. |
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03-09-2010, 09:05 PM | #213 | |||
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03-10-2010, 10:35 AM | #214 | |||
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Good morning fellow PTSDers.
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My father said the same things to me. That I was worthless, that I would never amount to anything.....ad nauseum. 30 was my watershed year. I hated my life and started to make teeny improvements. To this day when I feel like I have not accomplished enough in my life, I make myself decide that as long as I have made any improvement I am doing great. Even if it is making a list or a phone call I need to. One of the best things I ever did was get away from my father. I was finally strong enough at 35. I wrote him a letter about how it made me want to die when he did not treat me with respect and that unless he could do that I was gone. I never saw him again. Before that, I kept thinking it was me somehow and that if I could act right, he would change. I am on meds now and they do make me even more overweight than I used to be, but I have reached a certain peace with that. So damn what? I am fat. My father and grandmother would always tell me I was "bigger than a barn" or to not wear red cause I "looked like a barn", all for my own good of course...not sure what the barn fixation was about either? I feel like a ghost sometimes too, especially if for some reason my meds are interrupted or intercepted...like right now, I spent a couple of weeks on steroids for ashtma and my mind is not right. I refuse to have anything to do with anyone who is not positive. Not at work, not at home, not in my friendships. I want you to know that you are not alone and that things can get better. That every day is a new fresh start. You can be who you want to be. Quote:
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I hope everyone has a good day and that we each do one positive thing for ourselves today. xoxoxoxoxoxoxox
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03-10-2010, 10:37 AM | #215 |
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Braeden, I have found that if I surround myself and my home with things that bring me comfort and joy, it will also bring the same to those who enter my home. I have only had 1 person reject my home, but I blame that on religious beliefs systems. For example, I have religious items everywhere. It brings me comfort and joy. Like my nieces "Faith" cross-stitch that I have framed. It means the world to me. But to the 1 guest who came into my home, I received a smart ass remark about it. Others just have complimented me on it. Go for it. May it bring you comfort, joy, and peace. Love, Andrew |
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03-10-2010, 10:41 AM | #216 | |
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03-10-2010, 12:54 PM | #217 | ||
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Most of My adult life has been filled with people who are negative in some aspect or another, and I am trying to weed through that because I can tell that its affecting Me overall. I've noticed that I have been in a happier mood lately, maybe because I feel now that with starting to come out as being a guy and with so far having a fairly positive response to it overall its just been making Me really happy about My life. I am being more of who I want to be now, and its been doing wonders for My self-esteem and My confidence I looked through one cross-stitch book this morning and found three different patterns that I am going to use to make three separate projects to send down as part of our basket ~ pretty awesome I must say Quote:
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03-10-2010, 01:15 PM | #218 |
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Shortly after my trauma I prayed every day. I went to Mass, said the Rosary, prayed incessantly for help. I will never forget the day I sat in the St. Peter's school chapel in front of the Blessed Sacrament in a hour of Perpetual Adoration. A fire alarm went off. And the principle, who was nun, came in and quietly said to me, "you and Jesus are in a fire drill."
Well, He and I are still in a fire drill because of a raging fire. But He's bringing me through. Thanks for your prayers. |
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03-10-2010, 01:24 PM | #219 | ||
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If you do give him a letter, maybe waiting till after you move would be a safe option? So you don't have to live in "his" house when he reads it. I know in my case, I could never had done it if I was dependant on my father for anything. Yeay on the crosstitch! Sending positive thoughts for a smooth move to your own place very soon! Quote:
Thinking about you and hoping your week is good.
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03-10-2010, 01:26 PM | #220 | |
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Fires do burn out eventually...hang in there my friend...when i lived in florida the summer of 1998 there were many wild fires which threatened us....my county had to evacuate and the firemen stayed to safe our town....one day 3 fire walls..merged into one and were head towards a subdivision of homes which they were already trying to protect....all they could do was take a fire blanket and cover themselves for protection...praise Jesus...they all survived...the LORD....is your fire blanket sweet Jet....use HIM to cover you from this wall of fire....
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