Supporting Queer Space

[Medusa]

We went out with a group of friends last night to enjoy some dinner and time at the local Lesbian club.

There is just one Lesbian club in central Arkansas. It's been in business for about 12 years and has been owned by the same person all this time. Its a GREAT club: large, lots of seating space, cheap drinks, friendly folks, and management that really gives a shit.
I took the opportunity to speak with the club owner about our upcoming Reunion party and hammer out some details. She is being pretty generous with us about taking over the club and closing the doors for us and I am pretty grateful that she is willing to support our ButchFemmePlanet space even if it means closing her doors to some of her Friday night regulars.

As I looked around the club, it occurred to me that there were about 40 people in the entire place. After talking with the owner about how to make our contract fair for both of us, I asked her "Hey, are your Friday nights generally slow like this or is it just the time of year that people stay in?"
We then had a long conversation about Queer spaces and how folks often "hook up at the club and never come back out to support it again." She talked at length about the struggle to try new things to get folks in, about how there had been months that she didnt know how she was going to keep the doors open, and about how she had often worked for free.
It was really enlightening to hear this woman talk of her love for her community and her attempts to keep space accessible to folks who needed it. I started thinking about all of the businesses that are Queer-owned or Queer-themed that i have seen struggle to stay in business over the years.
I remember reading about a bookstore in some state ( I think it was northern California?) that had been around for a while but that was in danger of closing and folks were trying to rally around it to keep it open.
I told our club owner that "folks dont know how good they have it" with our particular club in Little Rock and talked about having been to clubs all over the country that were small, had shitty bathrooms, expensive drinks, or were poorly managed. Our club owner then informed me that the famed "Buddies" in Dallas, Texas recently closed. Color me flabbergasted! (some of you might remember Buddies from the B-F bash in Dallas a few years back).
I know that sometimes clubs are mismanaged and folks stop supporting because of it but how about spaces that are well-run where folks just stop coming out because of obligations at home, lack of funds, etc.?

I was wondering if anyone had thoughts about how our community supports queer space. Do you have criteria for supporting queer space? Have any of you had this type of thing happen in your own community with clubs closing down due to lack of support? How about making the choice to support other queer folks who do art, crafts, etc? Do you choose to support Queer space first or do you go where you can get the best bargain?

Let's talk!

[Cyclopea]

I remember reading recently about a bunch of long-running LGBTQQI bookstores closing in the U.S. Part of that is no doubt due to the trend towards online book-buying. But there also seems to be a trend towards integration in the states. Things are improved enough in many areas that one can go anywhere without being made uncomfortable for being LGBTQQI and spaces specifically set aside for LGBTQQI people are being supported less.
I think there will be a loss of diversity if all the gathering places for LGBTQQI people stop being supported.
Great topic.

[Kimbo]

In Seattle we have Capital Hill, the mecca of the gay community, but it seems to slowly be dwindling. Many people have moved to the burbs and a few clubs have opened up to accommodate that. For the most part what I experience in my community of West Seattle is that we have clubs that are gay friendly, hire gay employees knowing that quite a few of their clientele is gay. Driving to town, hanging at a bar has lost the appeal for some when you can have that very same social interaction at a local club. I make a point of going in to our one and only lesbian bar, The Wild Rose, because I want them to continue to stay open but it is not often at all.

[IrishGrrl]

I've thought about this before. Doc and I rarely go to clubs..maybe twice a year..sometimes not at all. We are just arent clubbers anymore. In our youth we were at the club several days a week. I guess if there were more activities/themes that we were interested in, we might go more often. Perhaps an area where the music wasnt so loud, and tables/couches where you could actually talk and have a good time with your friends. Also an over 30 night could be fun, since it's really annoying watching the drunken antics of the 20 somethings.

[The_Lady_Snow]

It it is gay owned, damn straight I will be there....

[cara]

I haven't been to our local lesbian-owned bar, the Wild Rose, in quite some time. I'm usually busy and rarely go out these days. However, I do try to support Seattle's GLBTQ community and businesses as much as I can. My favorite hand-made soap store is gay owned. I sing in the Seattle Women's Chorus and purchase tickets to see our brothers, the Seattle Men's Chorus. I have gone to concerts by the Rainbow City Band, Diverse Harmonies, and many others. I get an updated GSBA phone book each year and look there first should I ever need a service listed in the book. There is probably more I can (and should) do.



cara

[Lips]

Originally Posted by Medusa

. Our club owner then informed me that the famed "Buddies" in Dallas, Texas recently closed. Color me flabbergasted! (some of you might remember Buddies from the B-F bash in Dallas a few years back).


Let's talk!

I went out last night to a queer dance party. Joe and I are very active in our community. I am a queer stand-up comic and also work for the local GLBT newspaper. I can see where the trend is leaving from the local glbt watering hole.

I lived in Dallas. Buddies had watered down their drinks for a good long time. I had a couple of friends who came to Buddies one night after drinking at dinner. 4 hours later they left more sober than when they showed up.

The issue is that our bars aren't used to competition. They are used to being the social outlet for all of queerdom, and now with the internet and random gay parties and the like, people don't just want to go to the same bar that has the same DJ and the same people week after week. These owners (at least in the places I've lived) are not proactive enough in doing things to bring people in and then they whine about the business not being busy enough. As if hanging a rainbow flag outside is enough to just get the gays coming in droves.

Oh god, and you can have the Wild Rose. That's boredom mixed mixed with liquor. I'd probably f**k someone in the bathroom to say that I'd done something in that bar.

[SassyLeo]

In late 2008, the local volunteer-run and Feminist bookstore, In Other Words, was in danger of closing and there were lots of benefits and membership drives being held to help raise money.

The PDX community really rallied to keep it open. And it worked. However, with all the different websites where you can order new and used books much cheaper, coupled with the economy, they still struggle. They also sell Feminist artwork, local made art and crafts, etc. And they offer the space for other kinds of events, like readings and music and our local Dirty Queer event.

But not all of these businesses have that luxury.

Also, last year, the first Gay and Lesbian owned bookstore in the country, Oscar Wilde closed because of the same reasons.

Fortunately, I think Portland is really focused on Queer and small business owned entities...but unfortunately, not all cities are. I know that my friends and I specifically try to patronize Queer owned business here in Portland and when out of town.

I have the following I specifically know are Queer owned/run/employers of queers business/service providers that I utilize:

Real Estate Agent
Tattoo Artist
Cafe
Grocery Store
Chiropractor
Naturopath
Doctor
Tailor/Seamstress
Mechanic
Plumber
General Contractor
Bookstore

I'm sure there are more that I just cannot think of right now

[Dylan]

Originally Posted by Medusa

We went out with a group of friends last night to enjoy some dinner and time at the local Lesbian club.

There is just one Lesbian club in central Arkansas. It's been in business for about 12 years and has been owned by the same person all this time. Its a GREAT club: large, lots of seating space, cheap drinks, friendly folks, and management that really gives a shit.
I took the opportunity to speak with the club owner about our upcoming Reunion party and hammer out some details. She is being pretty generous with us about taking over the club and closing the doors for us and I am pretty grateful that she is willing to support our ButchFemmePlanet space even if it means closing her doors to some of her Friday night regulars.

As I looked around the club, it occurred to me that there were about 40 people in the entire place. After talking with the owner about how to make our contract fair for both of us, I asked her "Hey, are your Friday nights generally slow like this or is it just the time of year that people stay in?"
We then had a long conversation about Queer spaces and how folks often "hook up at the club and never come back out to support it again." She talked at length about the struggle to try new things to get folks in, about how there had been months that she didnt know how she was going to keep the doors open, and about how she had often worked for free.
It was really enlightening to hear this woman talk of her love for her community and her attempts to keep space accessible to folks who needed it. I started thinking about all of the businesses that are Queer-owned or Queer-themed that i have seen struggle to stay in business over the years.
I remember reading about a bookstore in some state ( I think it was northern California?) that had been around for a while but that was in danger of closing and folks were trying to rally around it to keep it open.
I told our club owner that "folks dont know how good they have it" with our particular club in Little Rock and talked about having been to clubs all over the country that were small, had shitty bathrooms, expensive drinks, or were poorly managed. Our club owner then informed me that the famed "Buddies" in Dallas, Texas recently closed. Color me flabbergasted! (some of you might remember Buddies from the B-F bash in Dallas a few years back).
I know that sometimes clubs are mismanaged and folks stop supporting because of it but how about spaces that are well-run where folks just stop coming out because of obligations at home, lack of funds, etc.?

I was wondering if anyone had thoughts about how our community supports queer space. Do you have criteria for supporting queer space? Have any of you had this type of thing happen in your own community with clubs closing down due to lack of support? How about making the choice to support other queer folks who do art, crafts, etc? Do you choose to support Queer space first or do you go where you can get the best bargain?

Let's talk!

My support of queer owned businesses used to be doled out more frequently and with much less basis than it is now. Used to be, if there was a queer owned business, I was there. However, I got (and still get) really sick of being raked over the coals. I'm tired of being expected to pay more money for shittier service, simply because a place is queer-owned.

Buddies was one of these establishments. The drinks were weak and expensive (and ohhhhh, so obviously watered down). The only safe bet was a beer, because you can't water down bottled beer without it being blatantly obvious. Buddies was the only place I could drink six vodka-sodas and still walk...AND drive home. The service was less than stellar, and I would end up spending a fortune, because A) the drinks were pricey and B) I had to buy a ton of them to go home completely sober. Often times, the service was just plain RUDE.

As for queer-owned bookstores. Most times, I can't afford them. The books are priced way higher than other places. We have a lesbian bookstore here, I've TRIED to support, but the service is horrible. I was even in there one time and had to listen to the owner complain about her staff. That's just poor business. One time, when I really really really wanted a book that I couldn't find anywhere, I thought I'd use this bookstores services to get it. I figured since I had to order it, she may as well make some money off of it. I even went into the store to order it, just in case I found something else I wanted. When I spoke to the owner about ordering it, she told me to go to the website and order it from there. Basically, she wanted me to do all the work for her. She wasn't even interested in doing the minimal amount of work to get her mark up. I won't support that type of work ethic, so I can pay MORE money, just because it's a queer bookstore.

Last night, I went to a bar that I frequent fairly often. I'm selling raffle tickets for the non-profit I work for. The folks who started the non-profit I work for are het-queer, supportive of the queer community, and we do quite a few things in the queer community in queer space. When I walked into this bar last night, I asked the manager if I could sell some raffle tickets. I told him what we do. He refused to let me sell raffle tickets. Now, I used to go to this establishment fairly frequently. I probably won't return. I won't support a business that won't help other queers. Chances are, even if not one person had bought a raffle ticket from me, I would have hung out at this bar for a while and spent probably around $30...and that doesn't include the special events we could have done together that would have been mutually beneficial for each of our establishments. But, they chose to think in terms of 'your selling raffle tickets doesn't benefit me at all' (he did say, if we had the event at his establishment, he'd let us sell tickets...screw that. It's just selfish. Aside from the fact that there's no 'event' to be had...it's a raffle for a laptop and a television...it's not an 'event'). So, no I won't be supporting this space anymore.

We ended up going to another bar that DOES support ALL types of queer events. We've used this establishment before for Big Gay Bingo. Others I know have utilized this space for all types of fundraisers. The owner is awesome and has even bought raffle tickets from me. THAT'S the type of queer business I'll support.

But if you're just out to take my money and put ZERO effort into it, I'm not down. If you think you can just take over your neighbor's garage and hang a rainbow flag while charging me a fortune for watered down drinks, I'm not down. And as Lips said, I don't want to hear the same lame-ass DJ every weekend. Change it up. Put some ass into it. DO SOMETHING! Be a part of the community and don't just take take take.


Chatty,
Dylan

[casey35]

I have to admit that tammy and i dont go out much. But we do try to go one a year or so. Hopefully with the changing of our schedules we can do more to support.

[Darth Denkay]

The queer clubs/bars around here open and close so quickly that even if I did that sort of thing keeping up with what's what could be quite a task. As for queer-owned businesses, it's basically the same song, different verse. Sadly, the one exception is a - I don't know, a rainbow store plus lots of other gay-themed items. The owner regularly hits on the under 18 patrons - not getting my business.

As for professionals - doctors, lawyers, plumbers - I go by reputation. In the past I've used three queer professionals without asking around - dentist, realtor, and florist - and gotten horrible, overpriced service from each. If I get good recs about a queer professional then I'll give em a try. But I won't give any professional my business without good recs.

Here's the thing. If I hire you for a service then I am hiring you for your ability to do the work well and for a reasonable cost. I really don't care who you sleep with. I get flack around here because I go to a United Methodist church - not anything specifically gay about it, and I don't support the local gay churches. I don't go to church because I'm gay, I go because I'm Christian. I've checked out the gay churches and frankly there is simply too much focus there on being gay. It's not what I'm looking for in a church.

I guess the bottom line for me is that I use a professional or business based on merit. If I lived somewhere where gay-owned businesses really were a reality, then yes, I would probably at least check them out. But no, I don't give someone my business just because they are queer.

[SassyLeo]

Originally Posted by Dylan

My support of queer owned businesses used to be doled out more frequently and with much less basis than it is now. Used to be, if there was a queer owned business, I was there. However, I got (and still get) really sick of being raked over the coals. I'm tired of being expected to pay more money for shittier service, simply because a place is queer-owned.
*snip*

I agree.

We go to breakfast almost every Sunday. There is place we love to go, Byways Cafe...they have some delicious food. It is Queer owned AND it has great blue corn pancakes .

If it was Queer owned and had mediocre food, I would not go out of my way to spend money there.

In fact, there is a well known Lesbian bar here in town that is popular, partially because it is the only official Lesbian bar in town, and partially because they have a variety of events. Some of which I attend.

However, up until recently, they allowed smoking inside and I could not stand it. Also, it is not the cleanest place...and the staff are not always that nice.

It has been a bit better the last few times I was there...maybe they got the hint.

But if I have the choice to go there or another bar in town....it is rarely on my list.