Butch on the Outside Femme on the inside, and Vice Versa

[AnnRkey]

Is this possible? You may ask yourself. And yes, I believe so. I live it everyday. My girlfriend doesn't use this site, but I randomly tell her about some of the postings. I was confused by the women identified lesbians living with other women identified lesbians. So I was telling her about it. If your male identified your straight? So I was like, use a straight site than? Right? Wrong?! We both were slightly confused, we are women..who like other women. Does that exist anymore? Or has it all come down to this complicated, fits inside the right box, your this label and I am that label. I mean don't get me wrong its all fine and dandy to feel like you belong to something or fit in somewhere. But I am confused, however it is fair to say the whole Butch Femme dynamic is something that is intriguing..indeed intriguing...none the less..is there still room for Girls like myself and my girlfriend who like other girls...No labels..No confusion about gender identity...just girls who like girls. I do like reading and chatting at this site however. It is very interesting, Like I mentioned previously the dynamics are intriguing...

[Novelafemme]

Originally Posted by AnnRkey

Is this possible? You may ask yourself. And yes, I believe so. I live it everyday. My girlfriend doesn't use this site, but I randomly tell her about some of the postings. I was confused by the women identified lesbians living with other women identified lesbians. So I was telling her about it. If your male identified your straight? So I was like, use a straight site than? Right? Wrong?! We both were slightly confused, we are women..who like other women. Does that exist anymore? Or has it all come down to this complicated, fits inside the right box, your this label and I am that label. I mean don't get me wrong its all fine and dandy to feel like you belong to something or fit in somewhere. But I am confused, however it is fair to say the whole Butch Femme dynamic is something that is intriguing..indeed intriguing...none the less..is there still room for Girls like myself and my girlfriend who like other girls...No labels..No confusion about gender identity...just girls who like girls. I do like reading and chatting at this site however. It is very interesting, Like I mentioned previously the dynamics are intriguing...

Do you mean are there plain ol' lesbian identified women here? If so, heck ya!

[princessbelle]

Originally Posted by AnnRkey

Is this possible? You may ask yourself. And yes, I believe so. I live it everyday. My girlfriend doesn't use this site, but I randomly tell her about some of the postings. I was confused by the women identified lesbians living with other women identified lesbians. So I was telling her about it. If your male identified your straight? So I was like, use a straight site than? Right? Wrong?! We both were slightly confused, we are women..who like other women. Does that exist anymore? Or has it all come down to this complicated, fits inside the right box, your this label and I am that label. I mean don't get me wrong its all fine and dandy to feel like you belong to something or fit in somewhere. But I am confused, however it is fair to say the whole Butch Femme dynamic is something that is intriguing..indeed intriguing...none the less..is there still room for Girls like myself and my girlfriend who like other girls...No labels..No confusion about gender identity...just girls who like girls. I do like reading and chatting at this site however. It is very interesting, Like I mentioned previously the dynamics are intriguing...

Oh yes yes yes yes!!!!!! Plenty of room for everyone!!!! There are more identities here than you can possibly imagine.

MANY identify as lesbians in a lesbian relationship. Me for one!!! Even though my partner is butch, we are both female identified and also lesbian identified. You don't have to be butch or femme or FtM or <insert any gay/queer label> to belong here.

MANY of us are women loving other women!!! No rules here about identities!!!

Just be yourself!!!! Invite your girl to come on in and sit a spell.

Glad you are here!!!!!

[Novelafemme]

I for one am femme on the outside and all butchified on the inside. RAWR!

[macele]

i'm femme very much so on the inside. i like that. so i raise my hand and say ... yes, i am butch on the outside and femme on the inside. not all femme, of course lol. i don't think this is rare. very common i would think.

as far as this group, having all the differences, ... i feel is great. the reason i am here is to communicate (ooo not my best quality) and learn from others. i want to be around other lesbians. i get to feel at ease. "let my guard down". that's just natural for me to feel that way.

AnnRkeyall, i think your feelings about this site are exactly that, your feelings. you can like it or not. it's not strictly a lesbian site. i do understand what you are posting. thanks for that.

[pynkkameleon]

I'm happy to see that in your confusion you found yourself looking for a little bit of education and insight on various dynamics.

BUT

I have to say that your post kind of confuses me as well. I'm not certain exactly what it is that you are asking or stating? Are you wanting to know if there are others that have similar preferences to that of your's and your partners? if so, most definitely!

Mutual women identified dynamics/relationships are alive and well. As is any other possible dynamic that is out there. There are also a high number are of Butches that identify as female and others that see themselves as a wonderful mix of both.

Some male identified individuals see themselves as straight but there are plenty of others that prefer to identify otherwise. Some even as gay because their own attractions lean towards those within their own gender spectrum. As always, each persons preference is different.

I personally am most attracted to TG, FTM, masculine identified Butches and the whole masculine energy thing. Do I consider myself straight? Nope. I am and always will be a part of the LGBT community as will my TG partners, even if they identify as being straight. Whom we love doesn't dictate our own personal identity or our place within the community, not in my opinion at least.

I agree that the only rules are the ones that you set for yourself.

[Sparkle]

Originally Posted by AnnRkey

Is this possible? You may ask yourself. And yes, I believe so. I live it everyday. My girlfriend doesn't use this site, but I randomly tell her about some of the postings. I was confused by the women identified lesbians living with other women identified lesbians. So I was telling her about it. If your male identified your straight? So I was like, use a straight site than? Right? Wrong?! We both were slightly confused, we are women..who like other women. Does that exist anymore? Or has it all come down to this complicated, fits inside the right box, your this label and I am that label. I mean don't get me wrong its all fine and dandy to feel like you belong to something or fit in somewhere. But I am confused, however it is fair to say the whole Butch Femme dynamic is something that is intriguing..indeed intriguing...none the less..is there still room for Girls like myself and my girlfriend who like other girls...No labels..No confusion about gender identity...just girls who like girls. I do like reading and chatting at this site however. It is very interesting, Like I mentioned previously the dynamics are intriguing...

Yes, of course there is room for you how ever you identify (inside or out), and whether your relationship looks like anyone else's.

I'd encourage you to keep reading threads on the site and educating yourself, you seem so have a lot of assumptions about other users here, their identities and the nature of their relationships. You will find members with whom you have differences in gender identity, sexual preferences or choice of partners and you will also find members with whom you share much in common AND we *all* have lives, feelings and relationships that are simultaneously simple and complex, just like you.

BUT you should know - most of us are not confused about our gender. And most of us in butch/femme relationships where one partner is male-identified do NOT identify as straight. Not all of us conform to strict gender IDs either.

You are welcome here and it would be lovely if you discovered that our community's beauty lies in its' diversity and our willingness to embrace all of it.

[BullDog]

I am butch on the outside and butch on the inside.
I am a lesbian on the outside and lesbian on the inside.
I am a woman on the outside and woman on the inside.
My energy is masculine.

Lots of butches and femmes identify as lesbian. Not all do. You don't have to id as butch, femme or otherwise to be welcome here.

[Nomad]

me = femme and femme = me

i has never been a lesbian

[Toughy]

Originally Posted by AnnRkey

Is this possible? You may ask yourself. And yes, I believe so. I live it everyday. My girlfriend doesn't use this site, but I randomly tell her about some of the postings. I was confused by the women identified lesbians living with other women identified lesbians. So I was telling her about it. If your male identified your straight? So I was like, use a straight site than? Right? Wrong?! We both were slightly confused, we are women..who like other women. Does that exist anymore? Or has it all come down to this complicated, fits inside the right box, your this label and I am that label. I mean don't get me wrong its all fine and dandy to feel like you belong to something or fit in somewhere. But I am confused, however it is fair to say the whole Butch Femme dynamic is something that is intriguing..indeed intriguing...none the less..is there still room for Girls like myself and my girlfriend who like other girls...No labels..No confusion about gender identity...just girls who like girls. I do like reading and chatting at this site however. It is very interesting, Like I mentioned previously the dynamics are intriguing...

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two different things and I think you are confusing them. Gender is between your ears and sexual orientation is about who/how you fuck. Butch and Femme are gender identities like woman and man and queer...and I sometimes think dyke is a gender ID also. You can possess more than one gender........my gender identification is butch & woman. My sexual orientation is towards women, specifically femmes...you can call that lesbian but I have never liked that word. There are lots of us around this site, as well as folks of other genders and sexualities.

A male id'd person is just that...male id'd and that has nothing to do with their sexual orientation. Their sexuality could be towards femme/women or it could be towards other masculine folk.

I do not think of my gender id (butch woman) as a label. It is who I am. I certainly am not confused about it. Butch can be a noun or an adjective and when using butch as a gender it's a noun.

This website is open to everyone as long as they are respectful and comes from a feminist perspective. There are girls who like girls here and just about every combination of gender and sexuality you can think of.