PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

So much loss and pain, yet we prevail.

I read this week about the soldiers arriving back from Iraq and Afghanistan with PTSD and how many of them just can't assimilate back into their lives and end up on the street. Made me think of how lucky we all are to be alive and have homes and lives.

Jet, what you said about making things as normal as possible is so helpful. Thank you!

My heart goes out to all of us!

It does get better!

[Jet]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

So much loss and pain, yet we prevail.

I read this week about the soldiers arriving back from Iraq and Afghanistan with PTSD and how many of them just can't assimilate back into their lives and end up on the street. Made me think of how lucky we all are to be alive and have homes and lives.

Jet, what you said about making things as normal as possible is so helpful. Thank you!

My heart goes out to all of us!

It does get better!

Your welcome. I dont know about anyone else, but comfort and "normalizing" daily life is imperative when you feel like climbing the walls or out of your skin from being traumatized. I'm a big proponent of self-nurturing because no one else will do it for us.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by Jet

Your welcome. I dont know about anyone else, but comfort and "normalizing" daily life is imperative when you feel like climbing the walls or out of your skin from being traumatized. I'm a big proponent of self-nurturing because no one else will do it for us.

I could not have said this better myself. My counselor constantly reminds me about self-nurturing. While hiding in the safety of taking care of everyone else my self-neglect only made things worse for me. I developed a false sense of security that led to, among other things, insomnia, night terrors and some terrible personal choices. The worst of these have not reared their respective ugly heads for a very long time and I credit the "normalizing" Jet speaks of for this. Learning to to recognize and pay attention to the triggers is very important too. I was surprised to learn that some of my triggers were very subtle.

[Jet]

This is a week of sleeplessness. I'm out of meds but they're on their way. The other thing about "normalizing" is keeping a schedule and maintaining sound sleep. I'm exhausted and old trauma things are recurring a bit. But part of it is not seeing clearly because of fatigue. Don't let this happen to you. I'm not mind racing but I am experiencing a phenomenon of short and long term memories—hundreds of them non stop throughout the day and night. I can tell you what belt I wore with what pants in high school; colors, things people said or did, objects, places, music, friends I haven't seen in years—everything is coming back in vivid detail. I've never experienced anything like this. Things are flying out of my subconscious. And it's as though I'm being restored after living shattered for so many years. There's nothing disturbing or frightening—its just exhausting to go through.

[Apocalipstic]

I have been sick and am on Steroids, which really make my mind race too. I keep wondering of I am out of control and my focus is off.

I totally get what you are saying about sleep Jet, if I don't get sleep I am a mess. Even travel to a way different time zone is difficult. It takes me days to get over it.

I kind of feel like a wuss being so easily thrown off my game. Ehhh.

We had a yard sale over the weekend, went through boxes and boxes of memories. Wonderful friends came and helped me though it, or I don't know if it would have happened.

I wish everyone a peaceful evening! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Jet]

Good dinner, exhausted tonight and I'm watching Chinatown which is a favorite movie of mine. I hope I can sleep. Everyone have a good night.

[LipstickLola]

Sweet, peaceful, restful dreams Jet.

[Jet]

Sleep meds came and I'll get back on schedule.

[katsarecool]

One in four women are raped and those are just the reported cases. And that is just one method of traumatizing someone.

A man tried to rape me back on May 2, 1988; I fought him off but not without some injuries to myself. Police were called; he was hauled off with a black eye and a huge hematoma on his forehead. I had to attend sessions at Grady Hospital.

I have been "inappropriately touched over the years by male family members and fathers of boys I dated in HS. These events seem to add up over the years. Though it made me stronger having survived things like this; I still can inwardly flinch when someone tries to overpower me without my consent.

I encourage all women to take a self-defense class if possible. Though in no way would I ever try to put blame on the victim!!!

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by katsarecool

One in four women are raped and those are just the reported cases. And that is just one method of traumatizing someone.

A man tried to rape me back on May 2, 1988; I fought him off but not without some injuries to myself. Police were called; he was hauled off with a black eye and a huge hematoma on his forehead. I had to attend sessions at Grady Hospital.

I have been "inappropriately touched over the years by male family members and fathers of boys I dated in HS. These events seem to add up over the years. Though it made me stronger having survived things like this; I still can inwardly flinch when someone tries to overpower me without my consent.

I encourage all women to take a self-defense class if possible. Though in no way would I ever try to put blame on the victim!!!

So sorry this happened to you!

Also on the same note, not just men rape and touch innapropriately, women do too. It is not "less bad" if its a woman.

We all deserve to have control over our bodies and who touches them.

[perfekly_flawed]

I'm not yet comfortable sharing in this thread, but I did want to stop and thank the person who started it and ALL the folks who have contributed with their personal stories and feedback.

It is painful to read things that mirror my experiences or my feelings - but I know it's good for me to know that there are others out there that have felt how I feel and know that it's not easy to just "shake things off".

It has taken very conscious effort to recognize what triggers a "bad time" for me - and do what is within my power to avoid them, but also to breath deeply and flow through those subtle things that happen "anyway" and be okay on the other side.

Back to reading the thread...

[Apocalipstic]

Welcome Perfekly! For me, it just helps so much to know I am not alone.

It is painful to read, but how each of us coped can be helpful, or just having someone to listen or say it will be OK.

I think as soldiers return from Iraq and Afghanistan after serving several deployments PTSD will be even more rampant than it already is.

NO matter why we have PTSD, it is painful and difficult for us, and I hope you and all of us have a peaceful rest of the week!

[perfekly_flawed]

Hi Apocalipstic!

Thanks for the welcome and the very sage advice (and well wishes for the rest of the week).

I was was once married to a US soldier who deployed during Desert Storm. My father was active duty and on board a Navy aircraft carrier during both Vietnam and much later Desert Storm and now I have a 20 year old son who is an MA (navy policeman) stationed in San Diego. I OFTEN come in contact with the same population that you mention and both in extended family and friends. You are absolutely correct in being worried about the folks returning home. The military is not as prepared as it should be to help those young men and women assimilate back into their lives - but I do believe that the attention being paid to PTSD has increased tremendously and there are little pockets of the military where they are doing more - not there yet, but at least the recognition is dawning. I pray for them, for all of us and yes - I count my blessings, every day - even the days when the blessings feel light...

((hug))

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Welcome Perfekly! For me, it just helps so much to know I am not alone.

It is painful to read, but how each of us coped can be helpful, or just having someone to listen or say it will be OK.

I think as soldiers return from Iraq and Afghanistan after serving several deployments PTSD will be even more rampant than it already is.

NO matter why we have PTSD, it is painful and difficult for us, and I hope you and all of us have a peaceful rest of the week!

[tuffboi29]

I was having a decent few weeks. Eating and sleeping habits had started to develop a rather sound schedule.

It seems though every time things settle there is always a new way to set off an old trigger.

I think tonight has been the worst yet since starting therapy.

I had a horrible attack that almost had me convinced that I should go commit myself.

Nights where the sweating and millions of racing thoughts keeping my heart steadily pounding and my body shaking are the worst for me I think. The most horrible imaginings always seems more possible in these moments. And my inability to grasp and take hold of these racing thoughts leave me weak to their scathing attacks on my character, self-esteem, and confidence.

The "fake it 'til you make it" motto just isn't working for me anymore. It gets almost impossible to cover up sweat beading down your temples when you're in an air conditioned room....

*shrugs* I don't know...It's just one of those nights...

I hope everyone gets some sleep.

[katsarecool]

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time and I hope things get better much better for you soon!!!!

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by katsarecool

I am so sorry that you are going through such a tough time and I hope things get better much better for you soon!!!!

Thanks hon....

Being able to just come in here and post helps out a lot.

To know I am not the only one who feels like this is also a huge comfort.

[tuffboi29]

I am beginning to think this is the longest panic/freak-out I've ever had.

It started yesterday about 4 pm and now its 9:30 the next morn. I can't seem to get my therapist on the phone and there is no way in hell I'm going there...

Looks like I'm hanging out with FB today.

[katsarecool]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

I am beginning to think this is the longest panic/freak-out I've ever had.

It started yesterday about 4 pm and now its 9:30 the next morn. I can't seem to get my therapist on the phone and there is no way in hell I'm going there...

Looks like I'm hanging out with FB today.

My thoughts are with you!!!! Is there someone else you could call?

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

I am beginning to think this is the longest panic/freak-out I've ever had.

It started yesterday about 4 pm and now its 9:30 the next morn. I can't seem to get my therapist on the phone and there is no way in hell I'm going there...

Looks like I'm hanging out with FB today.

I am so sorry your are having such a difficult time, I am too ugh.
I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow though.

The holidays freak me out more than I care to admit. I know its silly but a lot of my PTSD is family related.

Could you put on some fun music. watch something silly or call someone to take your mind off things?

My head hurts really bad, if I think of anything I will be back.

many hugs to you!

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by katsarecool

My thoughts are with you!!!! Is there someone else you could call?

Thanks hon...

There's no one really to call. My phone hardly keeps connection anyways.

I did however move into a place w a roommate and she should be home in another hour or so.

She also has the keys to the stupid med cabinet where we both keep our stuff locked up. I really need to get a another copy made 'cause the damn thing is Tuff-proofed. It's almost like whoever made it *knew* I would try to break in.