What is on your mind

[ReDo]

I am about to move to Florida.

I am leaving the life that I have known for 6 years now behind. Scared doesn't even begin to touch how I am feeling. The relationship here is so unhealthy and abusive but it is known and has somehow become my normal way of life.

My friends shake their head as they see the damage he has done to me on the inside. Never mind what is done on the outside all of that will go away in time. The inside however they worry I have become cold and hard with my heart. Yes I sound nice on screen and I am respectful and I still have that little grrl part of me that holds onto hope but I know they are right I know my heart is cold and callased over now. It will take a strong person to melt the ice away and get me to trust again.

I know leaving is the right thing to do the only thing to do. He doesn't know yet I havn't told him in fear of what will follow. I will tell him the night before and well... I know I will be fine.

I am leaving the beautiful lake house that I love, the big fancy bank account, fancy car, clothes, furniture... the hardest part is leaving Ridgid my dog that I have loved for 6 years. I can't take him with me it would be such a huge fight with the ex that well.. i just can't take him.

People don't understand its not easy to just walk out the door and leave a life that is full of anger and hate. It is tuff it is really hard and really scary.

I tell myself "you can do this you are one tough chick" Funny thing is I don't feel so tough. I want to curl up in a ball and hide from what has become my own life.

I know I will make it failure is not an option. As many times as he has told me I will never make it and that without him I will be nothing. I know I can stand on my own two feet and make my life happen. I will find work one maybe two jobs to make ends meet. I will have my own tiny place probably far from the lake or ocean, and I will struggle but... I will be free. I will be free of hate, anger, fighting, hitting, and the emotional pain that goes with all of that. I will be free to find the one I am supposed to be with. The one who will see me for who I am and love me the way I should be loved always.

I cry I sit here and cry watching Ridgid sleep knowing in just 7 days he will no longer be mine. In 7 days I will walk out the door and never return.

I am tough enough I tell myself. I can do this. I am one mean chick.

My heart is cold and callosed so it shouldn't hurt. I shouldn't be afraid of anything. I can do this.

[Medusa]

I'm taking PDO for the next couple of days while Jack and I redo the guest room. We need to paint the whole thing and lay new carpet so that we can finish laying the hardwoods in the hallway.

I love working together like that. We have redone so much of our home together, painting and scraping and patching. Moving stuff around, crawling in the attic and under the house. Making it ours.

I look around at the rooms and see the colors we picked and the furniture we have placed and am happy that it's ours. All ours.

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Medusa

I'm taking PDO for the next couple of days while Jack and I redo the guest room. We need to paint the whole thing and lay new carpet so that we can finish laying the hardwoods in the hallway.

I love working together like that. We have redone so much of our home together, painting and scraping and patching. Moving stuff around, crawling in the attic and under the house. Making it ours.

I look around at the rooms and see the colors we picked and the furniture we have placed and am happy that it's ours. All ours.

Sounds like it will be a perfect collage. Bravo for all the effort and hard work!!!

[jelli]

Originally Posted by happygirl

My dad,
He's not doing well. He has Pneumonia, and has been in the hospital since Wednesday. Today they told us he had congestive heart failure and his heart was operating at about 65%. Saturday morning, he went into a very confused state that they say was caused by having a low sodium rate, he took his IV's out, unhooked his heart monitor and left the hospital on foot. He thought he was at a hotel, and he was going for a walk. They found him a couple blocks away. It was very scary. He is a strong willed stubborn man, and I have never seen him like this....my heart aches and I am scared.

I just can not imagine. Stay strong and lean on those around you. Sending my thoughts for you and your family.

[Medusa]

Originally Posted by jelli

Sounds like it will be a perfect collage. Bravo for all the effort and hard work!!!

Now if I can just convince her to clean the garage....

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Now if I can just convince her to clean the garage....

LMAO... i hear ya'.

That is one concept I have never understood. Why can some people want their home spotless and yet they that their - obviously not spotless - garage/shed/workspace has everything just where it needs to be?

[Jessica]

I am wondering why my once sweet puppy has turned into a jealous dog (he's a 1 yr old yorkie). I have a cat and he plays with her all day but when shes cuddling with me he gets jealous and attacks her. He has started doing that with other dogs too, and he knows the dog so im not sure why all of a sudden hes this vicious little beast. Not sure what to do. I dont like aggressive animals. :/

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by dixielady

I saw this and figured it would be something interesting to read. Then I read it. Then I read that they view domesticated animals (pets) to be outside of nature, therefore one of their goals is to "kill off" as many of these unnatural animals as possible. I'm reading more things now, trying to see what is truth and what is not. Wow...just...wow. If these things are correct, then I need to do more research on the organizations I donate money to.




In 2000, when the Associated Press first noted PETA's Kervorkian-esque tendencies, PETA president Ingrid Newkirk complained that "actually taking care of animals costs more than killing them".

"PETA claims it engages in outrageous media-seeking stunts "for the animals." But which animals? Carping about the value of future two-piece dinners while administering lethal injections to puppies and kittens isn't ethical. It's hypocritical -- with a death toll that PETA would protest if it weren't their own doing."


Pets Killed By PETA
Year......Received......Trans-ferred......Adopted.............Killed
2010......2,345...............63...............44 = 1.86%........2,200 = 93.8%
2009......2,366...............31.................8 = 0.34%........2,301 = 97.3%
2008......2,216...............34.................7 = 0.32%........2,124 = 95.8%
2007......1,997...............35...............17 = 0.85%........1,815 = 90.9%
2006......3,061...............46...............12 = 0.39%........2,981 = 97.4%
2005......2,165...............69.............146 = 6.74%........1,946 = 89.9%
2004......2,655................1..............361 =13.60%.......2,278 = 85.8%
2003......2,224................1..............312 =14.03%.......1,911 = 85.9%
2002......2,680................2..............382 =14.25%.......2,298 = 85.7%
2001......2,685..............14..............703 =26.18%.......1,944 = 72.4%
2000......2,681..............28..............624 =23.27%.......2,029 = 75.7%
1999......1,805..............91..............386 =21.39%.......1,328 = 73.6%
1998........943.............125..............133 =14.10%..........685 = 72.6%

Total...29,823..............540...........3,135 =10.56%......25,840 = 85.9%

This a better place to support.

Originally Posted by softness

I hate money.....just saying....

Money's fine. It's those who use it that are the issue.

[jelli]

Originally Posted by Jessica

I am wondering why my once sweet puppy has turned into a jealous dog (he's a 1 yr old yorkie). I have a cat and he plays with her all day but when shes cuddling with me he gets jealous and attacks her. He has started doing that with other dogs too, and he knows the dog so im not sure why all of a sudden hes this vicious little beast. Not sure what to do. I dont like aggressive animals. :/

Call the dog whisperer. j/k

Two things Cruel has taught me(as far as dogs are concerned) is to always stand up for the Alpha dog and never let a dog OWN you.

[jelli]

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO happy to announce the aforementioned daughter-in-law is currently in route back to Michigan. Our home is so peaceful today. I sure have missed our home.

[Leigh]

I keep running through My mind everything that has happened over the last week or two, including what may be coming up in the next few weeks. I've never been good with relationships and all I've ever wanted is to have one that lasted for longer than just a few months .......... something more serious and long-term. I'll admit that I've been the first to rush into a relationship simply because I wanted to be with someone, but as I've gotten older and even with beginning My transition, I can honestly say that I don't seek out being with someone now just because I don't want to be alone.

I'm 31 years old now and I've gotten to the point where I'm wanting to spent My life with that someone special, not just find someone for abit and then pursue someone else. I'm not perfect and I've made many regrettable mistakes when it comes to being with a partner; I've often been a lousy one and it hurt those that I truly cared about. I'm tired of running, avoiding and hurting ~ I'm ready to give My heart a chance to be happy and to love someone without fear of running. I'm taking things slow and giving love a true chance to blossom, knowing that no matter what the future brings atleast I took a leap of faith and didn't back away ........... its taking charge of My life and My heart, which feels pretty good :-)

[Just_G]

Originally Posted by Medusa

Now if I can just convince her to clean the garage....

Um, it's been 126 degrees in Arkansas, no?

[Medusa]

I am just irritated with myself.

I have been purging for years with a specific focus on purging my clothing, shoes, purses, etc.
Last year right before the Reunion when Juney was here, I did another huge purge and let go of a bunch of clothing that I really loved but either couldn't wear, would never wear again, or had never worn. It felt good!

Well, suffice it to say that I am now in the guest room in that biggo closet again because I need to completely empty it so Jack and I can work on the room tomorrow painting and laying new floor.
Carrying armload after armload of ballgowns, cocktail dresses, fancy purses, etc has made me realize that I am STILL hanging on to way too much stuff. Already making a pile of stuff to give away at this year's swap and still need to go through my jewelry and purses.

I don't even own 1/5th of what I used to own. Before I moved to California, I had amassed 4 5 walk-in closets chock full of stuff. None of it was worth much because I tend to shop at thrift stores and yard sales but it took me WEEKS to go through all of it and pack what I saved.
When I arrived in Cali, I purged again and had many of those "why did I bring this with me" moments.
Before we left Cali, I knew that space would be at a premium on the moving truck so I did the biggest purge of all and let go of over half of my clothes.
It still wasn't enough.

I hope I don't have a pair of jeans and a raincoat left by the end of the day because I'm in the mood to SUPER PURGE!

[~Bo]

I'm watching Property Virgins on HG channel. I can't believe how some of these jerks act on national TV.
Unbelievable.

[Massive]

Just how incredibly lucky I am to have Bells in my life, how hard is being so far apart, but what a gift from the Goddess that Skype is, because we get to talk and see each other.
I've never been so happy nor known how deeply I am loved and finally it all makes sense, I don't have to ever settle for second best, because now I have the best and nothing will stop us from being together. Nothing.

[sweetiefemme]

ToKissAgain, your story is tough to read. I too left a very (emotionally/Mentally) abusive relationship. It is hard to say goodbye to a life, and I hardly know you...but it is the BEST thing you can do, even though it is so hard to do. Just remember to live for number 1 and that is you!

[bigbutchmistie]

I have so much on my mind... I have so much anxiety right now about the move and work And what if's and cant stand depending on people... It drives me insane

[Sassy]

I'm thinking about a TV. We need one. She talked about us going in halves on one. It's a nice one. All the bells and whistles. ... HDTV. LED. 1080p. 240 hz. 47" screen. ... I want it. And if we halved the price we could afford it. So what is my problem....
OK, maybe this isn't about the TV. It's about me being in my mid-30s and not having anything to show for my life because I've always invested so much in my relationships. I spent the past 10 years investing in the wants of my other half. When I wasn't being his cheerleader I was working my butt off so he could have all of the toys he wanted for all his hobbies and next hairbrained schemes.
So, after 2 failed marriages I'm insanely gun shy about sharing property or paying anyone else's way for anything. I'd rather wait, go without TV for 2 months, and buy the whole thing myself. Because that way, if the universe pees in my cornflakes again, if another relationship dissolves on me, I know who owns that fucking TV.
*sigh*

[Medusa]

I have found the PERFECT birthday giftie for Juney and I will hand-deliver it next month

[Inked_Trinity]

Ever had one of those days when the whole world seems to frustrate you? Then all of a sudden something clicks and all the pieces start to fall into place. That's my day today.