A straight girl enters the queer world... - Page 9

DaddysKitten · 03-14-2012, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Softhearted

Regardless of one's sex, gender, ID, sexual orientation, etc... the main question I would ask myself is: Is the person with many unclarified thoughts about their own person even "available" to get involved into a romantic relationship?
just my .02 cents

I get that, but because someone is making a bad decision doesn't mean I will stop being their friend. Obviously the relationship is going on. Obviously the 'logic' is no longer the issue. But really, be this the case or not, it doesn't stop the fact she needs someone to lean on, and information shared.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julie

You are obviously a good friend and someone she trusts. You came to your community where you could possibly get some insight. There is nothing wrong with that. You did not give names (that I recall) or personal information about this couple.

I hope your friends is able to figure this out for herself and her partner (future). She sounds like an open minded individual who is looking outside the box and stepping outside of her comfort zone. Good for her.

Julie

Thank you, Julie.

Softhearted · 03-14-2012, 04:06 PM

[QUOTE=DaddysKitten;546955]I get that, but because someone is making a bad decision doesn't mean I will stop being their friend. Obviously the relationship is going on. Obviously the 'logic' is no longer the issue. But really, be this the case or not, it doesn't stop the fact she needs someone to lean on, and information shared.

I never said that you should stop being her friend?!??!???? Where did I ever say that?

I was only offering an opinion about what I would tell my friend: are you ready to get involved with someone who own issues are not clarified? What ever her answer is, I would not stop being her friend... geee.... It was a general thought, not specific to your case....

G Snap! · 05-17-2012, 02:35 PM

I am new to the site and am reading this thread because, well, it could be me who started it! Let me start off by giving a little info about myself...

I have been straight until I met my guy (a transman, FTM, etc.) almost two years ago. I had been good friends, gosh, great friends, with a lesbian for years and met him (through her) several years before we started dating. I consider myself extremely open-minded, it takes that for a straight girl to call a lesbian her best friend. When I first met him he was in his "teenage" stage and a randy bastard. Ready to f*ck and party. In the two year period between then and when we started dating, he settled down a little (was living with someone) but the relationship was open. I have always been attracted to him since we met, but I was in a relationship (with a bio guy) and I never acted on it. Until we got left alone one day and... * blush*

When we started dating I had questions about FTM's and the transgender process. He answered most of them and I researched it on the internet - the internet has some great information, and it did lead me to the BFP page.
I think the "hardest" part - for me - was how to label myself, how I identified in this whole butch, femme, stone, lipstick, whatever stuff. It took a little time, but I still call myself straight because I am attracted to men and our relationship is straight. I will tell you "I am gay because I am very happy, thank you!"

In my research I didn't find a whole lot about straight girls dating trans men. I think this is such a grey area, because it depends what side you look upon it from. And how personal you want to get with questions (ranging from how far in the transition process he is up to what we do behind closed doors.) I have read it is difficult for FTM's who are looking for that special someone simply because most straight women can't get past the "below the belt" issues and most gay women can't get past the "but now he's a man" issues.

So getting back to the original topic, perhaps the straight girl entering the gay world is spending too much time figuring out where she fits in rather than figuring out where she wants to fit. If you percieve her having difficulties, maybee she needs a little time adjusting. I would have to talk to her directly. The ultimate question is if she sees a future with her new love, and she can't answer that until she is no longer blinded by that love.

I intend on looking at other threads and although I certainly don't consider myself an expert, I do consider myself somewhat of a rarity. I know there are others out there who have had similar experiences!

03-14-2012, 04:06 PM	#162
Softhearted Member How Do You Identify?: --- Preferred Pronoun?: ---- Relationship Status: --- Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: --- Posts: 298 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 454 Thanked 285 Times in 109 Posts Rep Power: 1556233	[QUOTE=DaddysKitten;546955]I get that, but because someone is making a bad decision doesn't mean I will stop being their friend. Obviously the relationship is going on. Obviously the 'logic' is no longer the issue. But really, be this the case or not, it doesn't stop the fact she needs someone to lean on, and information shared. I never said that you should stop being her friend?!??!???? Where did I ever say that? I was only offering an opinion about what I would tell my friend: are you ready to get involved with someone who own issues are not clarified? What ever her answer is, I would not stop being her friend... geee.... It was a general thought, not specific to your case....

05-17-2012, 02:35 PM	#163
G Snap! Member How Do You Identify?: gay. I'm very happy, thank you! Preferred Pronoun?: Miss Relationship Status: Chefhmboyrd's seeing eye blonde Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Nashvegas Posts: 253 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 412 Thanked 1,109 Times in 229 Posts Rep Power: 6596928	I am new to the site and am reading this thread because, well, it could be me who started it! Let me start off by giving a little info about myself... I have been straight until I met my guy (a transman, FTM, etc.) almost two years ago. I had been good friends, gosh, great friends, with a lesbian for years and met him (through her) several years before we started dating. I consider myself extremely open-minded, it takes that for a straight girl to call a lesbian her best friend. When I first met him he was in his "teenage" stage and a randy bastard. Ready to fck and party. In the two year period between then and when we started dating, he settled down a little (was living with someone) but the relationship was open. I have always been attracted to him since we met, but I was in a relationship (with a bio guy) and I never acted on it. Until we got left alone one day and... blush* When we started dating I had questions about FTM's and the transgender process. He answered most of them and I researched it on the internet - the internet has some great information, and it did lead me to the BFP page. I think the "hardest" part - for me - was how to label myself, how I identified in this whole butch, femme, stone, lipstick, whatever stuff. It took a little time, but I still call myself straight because I am attracted to men and our relationship is straight. I will tell you "I am gay because I am very happy, thank you!" In my research I didn't find a whole lot about straight girls dating trans men. I think this is such a grey area, because it depends what side you look upon it from. And how personal you want to get with questions (ranging from how far in the transition process he is up to what we do behind closed doors.) I have read it is difficult for FTM's who are looking for that special someone simply because most straight women can't get past the "below the belt" issues and most gay women can't get past the "but now he's a man" issues. So getting back to the original topic, perhaps the straight girl entering the gay world is spending too much time figuring out where she fits in rather than figuring out where she wants to fit. If you percieve her having difficulties, maybee she needs a little time adjusting. I would have to talk to her directly. The ultimate question is if she sees a future with her new love, and she can't answer that until she is no longer blinded by that love. I intend on looking at other threads and although I certainly don't consider myself an expert, I do consider myself somewhat of a rarity. I know there are others out there who have had similar experiences!