09-09-2012, 08:32 PM | #1 |
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A Funny Letter
Below you will find the script to write your letter. A friend had this on her FaceBook page and we started laughing and couldn't stop. It was so funny...or maybe we need sleep. You can decide for yourself.
Dear Stacy, I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think I realized it that night you picked your nose at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my corned beef hash. I'm sure you're high enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning the pictures from Vegas to you, but I'll keep your Mom as a memory. You should also know that I love your sweet, sweet ass and our friendship is ruined. Best of luck on the sex change, laruss You can play along if you like, or not, it's up to you. I laughed. .................................................. .................................................. ...... Dear (someone you recently talked to), I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think I realized it when (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11). (12), (Your name) 1) What's the color of your shirt? Blue - I'm in love with your cat Red - Our affair is over White - I’m joining the Convent Black -Our romance is over Green- Our socks don't match Grey - You're a leprechaun Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy Pink - Your nostrils are insulting Brown - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you No shirt -The mafia wants you Other -I dislike your eyelashes 2) Which is your birth month? January - That night you picked your nose February -When I quoted Forest Gump March - When your dwarf bit me April - When I tripped on peanut butter May - When I finally changed my underwear June - When you put cuffs on me July – When I saw the purple monkey August - When you smacked my ass September - Last year when you peed your pants October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub November - When your dog humped my leg December - When I threw up in your sock drawer 3) Which food do you prefer? Tacos - In your apartment Chicken- In your car Pasta - Outside of your office Hamburgers - Under the bus Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner Lasagna - In your closet Kebab - With Jean Chrétien Seafood - In a clown suit Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert Pizza - At the mental hospital Hot dog - Under a street light Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper 4) What's the color of your socks? Yellow - Ignore Red - Put whipped cream on Black - Hit on Blue - Knock out Purple - Pour syrup on White - Carve your initials into Grey - Pull the clothes off Brown - bite off Orange - Castrate Pink - Pull the pants off of Barefoot - Sit on Other - Drive over 5) What's the color of your underwear? Black - My boyfriend White - My father Grey – The Catholic Priest Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie Purple - My corned beef hash Red – My knee caps Blue - My salt-beef bucket Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana Orange - My Blink 182 cd Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection Other --The elephant in the corner 6) What do you prefer to watch on TV? One Tree Hill - Senile Heroes- Frostbitten Lost - High Simpsons- Cowardly The news - Scarred American Idol - Masochistic Family Guy - Open Top Model - Middle-class Annat -shamed 7) Your mood right now? Happy - How awful you are Sad - How boring you are Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men Angry - That your smell makes me vomit Depressed – That we’re related Excited - That I may pee my pants Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you Worried - That your Ford sucks Apathetic - That you need a sex-change Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid Other - That your driving sucks 8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom? White - Your toe ring Yellow - Your love letters to me Red - The pictures from Vegas Black - Your pet rock Blue - The couch cushions Green - Your car Orange - your false teeth Brown - Your nose hair clippers Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket Pink - The cut toenails Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear 9) The first letter of your last name? A/B - Your left ear C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it E/F - Your neighbors dog G/H - Your glass eye I/J - My virginity K/L - The results of that blood-sample M/N - The oil tank from your car O/P - My common sense Q/R - Your mom S/T -your collection of butterflies U/V - Your criminal record W/X – Your sucide note Y/Z - Your credit cards 10) The last letter in your first name? A/B - Love your sweet, sweet ass C/D - Always will remember the pep talks E/F -Never will forget that night G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard. I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly K/L - Hate your cooking M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet S/T - Always wanted to break your legs U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart W/X - Haven’t showered in a month Y/Z – am better off without you 11) What do you prefer to drink? Wine- Our friendship is ruined Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo Milk - The apartment building is on fire Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this Cider– I have a passionate interest for mice Juice – You ruined my attempts at another world war. Snapple/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked out Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine Other – you should stop picking your nose 12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation? Thailand – Warm tingly sensations Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard France - Love always Spain - With tears of sadness China – You make me sick Germany – Please don’t hurt me Japan - Go milk a cow Greece - Your everlasting enemy USA - Best of luck on the sex change Egypt – Kiss my butt England - Go drown yourself
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