Are butches really a dying breed?

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by OS Butch

I knew there was a reason I wasn't your type Hehehehe!

... uh really now..... lol

[Beloved]

Can someone define "old school" butch for me? I think it may mean different things to different people. If you ID that way or are partnered with someon who ID's that way tell me why.

[Rope]

Plenty of butches here in the Oakland and San Francisco area.

Old School butch I believe refers to a time when butches "had to" wear ties or masculine clothing and identify as masculine. Today, butches come in all variations on a theme-thus faggy butches, sporty butches, butches into butches, butches into femmes, queer identified butches, butches that prefer he or hy and butches that prefer she, some that feel predominantly masculine or female, some that id more trans or trans, and everything else anyone can come up with as a identifier for themself, in short, more fluid.

I've also heard that old school butch referred to a time when butches had manners, i.e., opened the car door for a femme etc. But as everyone knows <g> good manners never go out of style and are not from an 'old' or bygone era.

Rope--

[NorCalStud]

Imo. They are not a dying breed; they are a tired breed. I lived with a woman years ago who made osof a religion. She wanted me on point on all that and I will be there if the same is returned. If that lil shit didnt try and top from the bottom and skate thru all her osof committments. Part of my job became reminding her to nurture me...childhood neglect for her...again in My opinion you need similiar value systems...good division of labor skills...money...and an ability to roll your sleeves up cause it takes more than love. I think it works beautifully for dating and rarely for living together especially the older we get..just sayin.

[Galahad]

Library Girl, there are plenty of young butches in the IE, just down below from you. I see 1 almost everytime I go out in my small town.

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by Beloved

Can someone define "old school" butch for me? I think it may mean different things to different people. If you ID that way or are partnered with someon who ID's that way tell me why.

Hm, I'd be curious to know as well. The only 'old school butch' I ever dated assaulted me when I didn't do as I was told. I'm sure that's not what anyone means, but it's sure put me off the phrase.

[Toughy]

I've always associated 'old school' with manners, courtesy, politeness and the tie and suit wearing kind of butch.....which would describe me.

I decidedly do not ever want 'old fashioned' attached to me. I associate 'old fashioned' with that fairy tale of the 50's where the man (butch) went to work and the woman (femme) stayed home and cooked, cleaned and was all made-up and pretty with supper on the table when the man came home.

I'm with Rope about old school. Manners should never be out of style and we have plenty of butches of all stripes in the Bay Area. You will see a bunch of us at our Spring Fling social on May 12. Femmes will be there also.

Maybe the problem is some femmes are looking for a very particular kind of butch and are missing all the rest of us that are right in front of your eyes.....shrug.....

[Toughy]

and one more thing.............

I have never had a femme tell me I was not butch enough. The reverse is true for me. I have had more than one femme tell me I needed to tone it down a bit.....I was too butch for them, especially to take home to the parental units. They were embarrassed when I got called Sir also.

[aishah]

i can't imagine meeting a butch who is 'too butch' for me. i'm sad that so much butch policing goes on in our communities. i've been on the end of some pretty painful femme policing, and that's not exactly the same but i know it was hurtful for me. i love all flavors of butch and i am grateful for the different ways y'all express yourselves. it would be a sad world if all the butches and femmes were exactly the same way!

[dykeumentary]

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

[Rope]

One of my first femme g/f's in my twenties--told me I was too butch. Where she really crossed the line was asking me to wear lacy panties because 'she did that for me'...it ended very soon after that request.

Rope--

[dykeumentary]

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

[Corkey]

I think that as with all things, evolution happens. Fluidity is an amazing thing, exploring the facets of identity can be life affirming, and understanding human nature is an ongoing journey. Coming to self can either be an adventure or a weight. So I choose to see the diversity that is Butch, and in that one word, a multitude of expression. Butch is not dead, it is alive and well.

[bkisbutchenuff]

Simply...NO! Butch is alive and well!

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by Toughy

and one more thing.............

I have never had a femme tell me I was not butch enough. The reverse is true for me. I have had more than one femme tell me I needed to tone it down a bit.....I was too butch for them, especially to take home to the parental units. They were embarrassed when I got called Sir also.

to tone it down???
i never would ask my butch to tone it down ... and i was never ever embarassed when they called hym sir or refer'd to hym as my husband. i just went with it like any normal person would when there out together family or not.
ha i felt kinda wierd she someone would call us ladies... but that didnt happen to often.. hehe

[tazz]

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

I've had Femmes tell me I'm not butch enough for them.
It stings a little, but I end up being cheerful, because we clearly would never have worked out anyway.

***ditto dykeumentary.
when i was a femme, i was told i'm not femme enough. now through my journeys, i've also been told i'm not butch enough.

screw it!! iamwhoiam... if anyone cannot accept me... its Their issue not mine!

~t

[tara_kerrie]

My definition of old school: when a butch/guy/trans treats the ladies with respect. They open the doors for them. They bring flowers (first date, first meet, and anything in between). A person would NEVER even think about doing anything with a friend or acquaintance's person (whethet they be together or they know their friend likes them).

I am 28 years old and most of the people that I have been around (other than members of the planet) do not even attempt to open the door for
Their partners. They dont bring flowers.

IMO these are some characteristics of an OSOF butch. These are characteristics that I am PROUD to have.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Toughy

I've always associated 'old school' with manners, courtesy, politeness and the tie and suit wearing kind of butch.....which would describe me.

I decidedly do not ever want 'old fashioned' attached to me. I associate 'old fashioned' with that fairy tale of the 50's where the man (butch) went to work and the woman (femme) stayed home and cooked, cleaned and was all made-up and pretty with supper on the table when the man came home.

I'm with Rope about old school. Manners should never be out of style and we have plenty of butches of all stripes in the Bay Area. You will see a bunch of us at our Spring Fling social on May 12. Femmes will be there also.

Maybe the problem is some femmes are looking for a very particular kind of butch and are missing all the rest of us that are right in front of your eyes.....shrug.....

Yup, quite a distinction between "old school" and "old fashioned" and manners matter- for both butches & femmes... people in general, actually.

Funny, "old school" really has no time cohort at all. I have often heard a butch much younger than myself say "I'm old school."

[Martina]

Originally Posted by dykeumentary

Ha! A Femme friend just informed me that it is 'not very butch' to admit that I've been told I'm not butch enough!

What kinda femmes are you talking to? Lawd, the gall, to police someone's gender presentation like that.

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

to tone it down???
i never would ask my butch to tone it down ... and i was never ever embarassed when they called hym sir or refer'd to hym as my husband. i just went with it like any normal person would when there out together family or not.
ha i felt kinda wierd she someone would call us ladies... but that didnt happen to often.. hehe

haha... was rereading some stuff here... and ty for the reppies ... but boy i kinda chopped this up huh?? lol ..
should of left out the she part in that last sentance and put when