Are butches really a dying breed?

[dancer611]

I've heard time and time again that butches are "dying out," that there are tons more femmes than butches and that that trend will likely continue. I haven't been out long and don't know much about the overall community. Is this true, or a myth that people in femme-heavy areas like to throw around?

[MrSunshine]

Funny that, I feel the same way about femmes. I think they must be all out of our flavor.

[~ocean]

LOL mr. sumshine ... I love that flavor !!

[musicman]

I don't know about any other butches but I do know this butch is very much here and alive. I'm not going anywhere.

[Just_G]

I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind!

I think people say that because they want a certain type of butch or femme and when they can't find one they say there are none left. So not true.

[SelfMadeMan]

Emphatic NO!!! Butches are NOT a dying breed! I would argue that one of the reasons this myth is perpetuating is from a small, but persistent, group of radical feminist lesbians who are bent on somehow proving that the Trans community is recruiting Butches and that Butches are getting the message from Transmen and Transgender Butches, that they are "too Butch" - not possible - and that they should transition, AND that these Butches are following along like sheep to a slaughter. NOT TRUE. I'm not saying that there aren't Butches pressured to transition - I know it does happen - I have had a couple of friends tell me about other people pressuring them to label themselves TG or to consider transition. But I don't think that this is happening on the levels that some radfems would have us believe, and I don't think most Butches, even if pressured, are going to step off into something so major just because someone else tells them to. Not all Transmen even identified as Butch prior to transition - and Butch is NOT a precursor to transition! I think we have a huge population of wonderful, strong, PROUD Butches. I think one explanation is that perhaps there's been some relocation due to the economy, perhaps more concentrations in larger cities, and less in rural areas. But I don't think you have to look too far. I have some amazing Butch friends and I love them dearly - and I think they are awesome, brave people!
BUTCH does not = TRANS! Butch is an identity all it's own, and it isn't going anywhere!

[Cin]

I don’t think butches are a dying breed. I don’t believe people can chose their sex or their gender. I think it is a part of who we are. And if that is true then butch can’t ever die. There will always be some people born with that gender identity. There are not just two or three genders just like there aren’t just two or three sexes. I think there are many different gender and sexual nuances and I think we will find them mixed and matched throughout the spectrum. By that I mean we can find different sexes matched up with different genders, like for example a transwoman who identifies as a butch or a transman who identifies as a femme, vice versa, or female identified butches and masculine identified butches, or anyone of a dozen other variations on sex and gender.

I don’t think something like that dies out. That’s like saying blues eyes are fading out. I don’t think it’s possible. It’s not a fad it's a recessive gene and anyone carrying one will present with blue eyes so it would be very difficult without aggressive purposeful action to wipe out blue eyes. I think the same could be said for butch. Well, not exactly the same, cause who knows if there is a gene for it, but it is not a fad either, it's a gender identity and while one can chose a gender presentation (like when I purposely femme it up as a butch so I can look like I’m in drag) I don’t think we actually get to choose our genders. You are what you are. So in that way I don’t see butch ever dying out.

[princessbelle]

All i can say is what a sad, boring, lonely existence it would be for some of us if there were no more butches.

Sounds like a horror movie to me.

It is for sure a planet i would not want to live on.

[Apocalipstic]

Boy, I sure hope not!

[Princess]

A sad sad day indeed! I think they are definately not dying out. I do think people need to remember that what some people once considered butch, has really branched out. There are several different categories, you could be boi, stud, andro...all while still being butch. So i think more of...evolving instead of dying out. Does that make sense to anyone? Because it made sense in my head! lol

[starryeyes]

I live in So Cal, where there are Butches O' Plenty, but what I notice is that the Butch-Femme dynamic is pretty scarce.

[Scorp]

Perfectly said G...

Ladi & I have said that over and over. I (nor she) has ever seen a butch-fem couple out where we live and wish we had "more" of a community in that sense.

However, there seems to be a good amount of butches here. Maybe we just "don't know" if the females are fem or not. Meaning, it's very hard to detect or that just "may be" in general. Or am I just too oblivated to notice??? I guess that would be a whole other topic. I don't know.

That's why this website (and especially the yearly Reunion(s)) not only for me, but especially for Ladi is so very important. There are women (fems) there just like "herself" which she automatically has bond/bonded with.

Whenever we come home from being with our b-f family we of course have "bash crash" but the "yearning" for more peeps like ourselves out in our neck of the woods makes us sad until we get back to what we know as our "normal life". I miss having our community within arms length.

Hope this makes sense and if it doesn't, you'll have to excuse me because I have so much in my head that it gets a little difficult for me to express sometimes which I believe is A.D.D.!

Best,
-Scorp-

Originally Posted by Just_G

I do believe that is myth...and I think it's a geographical thing. I have said for years that there are really no femmes where I live. Plenty of butches. Perhaps we need a resurging of the femmes in my town!! I sure wouldn't mind! .

[Princess]

G and Scorp-

We are out there, trust me. There is a whole thread about that issue called Femme invisibility. How would you know how to find us if we "pass" unless we have a stamp across our foreheads or something..

[JAGG]

I'm alive and well and thriving!! Full of life and energy. Present and accounted for. I am not dead yet or dying either. I live in femmelessville USA so I know what you mean in a way.. Maybe you should consider moving to a more butchly populated area.

[dancer611]

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

[Breathless]

I actually have to agree with dancer. I have found exactly the same thing. On the rare occassion that I do see a *fine* butch, he has been discovered, and deliriously happy with a beautiful femme by his side. Other times I have met someone, and it like wow the packaging is there, but.. imposter in a butches clothing..

[MrSunshine]

I hate it when zombies dress in butch clothing. Especially when they eat your face.

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by MrSunshine

I hate it when zombies dress in butch clothing. Especially when they eat your face.

OMG!!! I thought I was the only one who hated this!!!

[LaneyDoll]

Originally Posted by Breathless

I actually have to agree with dancer. I have found exactly the same thing. On the rare occassion that I do see a *fine* butch, he has been discovered, and deliriously happy with a beautiful femme by his side. Other times I have met someone, and it like wow the packaging is there, but.. imposter in a butches clothing..

I once went out with a girl who decided that she could "turn butch" since that was MY preference. I could not make her understand that being butch was about more than the clothes someone wore.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by dancer611

So people are mentioning geographical areas a lot...where exactly are these mysterious "butchly populated areas" you speak of? haha

We butches are alive and well in Northern California.