Transgendered Furry Slave

[Chancie]

My experience is that young people are often mortified by their parents.

I used to hate it when my mother sang in public, think Lotte Lenya!

My students hate it when I am standing in front of the board, and they say,

Move, Miss Chancie, and I dance a little before I move.

They blush and roll their eyes, and generally convey that

I am an embarrassing person all around. And

I think some young people are uncomfortable with evidence that their adults are sexual beings, but

Sexuality is a healthy part of life, and

I want young people to own their own bodies, and to be in touch with their own sexual feelings, and

I want them to see the adults in their lives modeling passionate love.

I don't 'get' furries, though I do 'get' butt plugs, but

Who gets to decide what is 'normal'?

[Heart]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Yes, this exactly what is going on. And in this context is is abuse.
And the kid is uncomfortable, period. He needs an adult that understands the importance of boundaries to report the abuse.

This doesn't have a thing to do with what we all may or may not enjoy sexually- it is about forcing and underage person to do something against their will. It is abuse if done to an adult as well. Has nothing to do with making any value judgement on what adults might want to engage in as adults with consent.

I did not call it abuse. Abuse is imminent danger. Discomfort and embarrassment is not imminent danger. Plus, calling child welfare authorities often exposes families to racist, sexist, classist, homophopbic systems that compound trauma, have no understanding of diversity in families, and do not have children's best interests at heart, but are mostly concerned with liability. I'm not personally comfortable with this parent's decisions and feel it violates boundaries, but that does not mean I am labeling it abusive.

[Miss Scarlett]

Originally Posted by DomnNC

Personally, I don't think he should be given a warning. I'd just call the mom and tell her. If you wanted to see your nephew then I'd just call the mom and ask if you could see him, I'm sure she'd respect ya'll more for coming straight to her with the info and would allow ya'll to see him because she would know ya'll had his best interests at heart. No child should be subjected to their parents/caregivers kink and sexual fetishes, it is abusive at best. A child should not have their sexual identities shaped by their parents, this is something a child should explore and define for themselves just like we all did.

i agree with you if they have not already done so, they need to contact the mother and let her know what's going on.

No child should be exposed to their parents' sexual anything...it's creepy at 12 and still creepy at 51. Obviously this father and the g/f have some maturity issues if they cannot reel it in and keep things private. If g/f must wear her collar and tail in public...we all know there are smaller collars and locks and as for the tail, i am fairly certain there is a discreet way for wearing that in public as well...

[weatherboi]

i have a male straight friend that cross dresses. Him and his wife go out together. Their kids are around the same age as this kid and know all about daddy's fetish. Being a furry can and for some is a non sexual fetish just like cross dressing. It can be a form of expression that has no sexual impact but gives a person a chance to express themselves freely. I feel/think people opinions here need some fresh outlooks. I am off to go splish splash with the man cub as a transgendered slave which he knows and understands about because he is communicated with. Personally I think/feel the girlfriends transgendered status is as unimportant as the kids sexual orientation.

[Andrea]

Originally Posted by Miss Scarlett

i agree with you if they have not already done so, they need to contact the mother and let her know what's going on.

No child should be exposed to their parents' sexual anything...it's creepy at 12 and still creepy at 51. Obviously this father and the g/f have some maturity issues if they cannot reel it in and keep things private. If g/f must wear her collar and tail in public...we all know there are smaller collars and locks and as for the tail, i am fairly certain there is a discreet way for wearing that in public as well...

I still do not see where Okie has stated the child has been exposed to anything sexual. Where was that stated? Is it being assumed due to a belief that furrie = sexual and therefore the child must know what is going on?

[The_Lady_Snow]

I too see NOWHERE in the OP's words where the child exposed to anything sexual, tails and collars do not equate sex. I find it ridiculous that now the adults have to get smaller collars?? WTF, how about we not expose kids to individuals that are inked, or pierced gawwwwd knows that may equate sex (NOT)

I reread the original post and Okie seems more disturbed over

a. The tail

B. The huge lock

C. The furrie part

NONE of these descriptors indicate sexual relations are happening in front of the child.

So, can someone clarify where some people are coming to the conclusion that the child is being exposed to the parents "yiffing"? Cause I can't find it anywhere!

[atomiczombie]

Originally Posted by weatherboi

Personally I think/feel the girlfriends transgendered status is as unimportant as the kids sexual orientation.

Couldn't agree more with this.

[Corkey]

Just to be clear, no where have I said the child is in any way privy to his dad's sexual proclivities. I spoke from MY POV that no child would be exposed to My sexual kink in My bedroom.
I also don't care what his father or his gf do in their home. However the OP said the kid is being "pushed to accept this" while with his father in public. That is coercion pure and simple.
As I've said before, I don't care what the adults do with other consenting adults, but this kid clearly is not a consenting adult. If the kid doesn't want to be around his fathers kink, he surely doesn't have to.

[girl_dee]

Snow... I don't compare your parenting to the OP parent at all. I got from reading the OP that the dad is very unconcerned about his son's feelings and has totally disregarded the fact that something is really, REALLY bothering his kid. (And in that scenario there could be many things bugging the kid!) There are so many *if's* about this situation, like where is the MOM? If she is present in his life she should be handling this if it needs to be.

I can't see you disregarding your kid's feelings. I also think we are on all different pages on whether or not the furrie's attire and ID are kink related or not. For some circles it's very normal.

Kids brought up around leather folk and introduced to it in a positive way (which most ARE) are one thing, and I SO think it can be done in a very healthy way (Snow is proof), but being introduced to it at 12 would take some patience and tolerance with letting the kid absorb all of it. (If that is what happened) Not taking the kid's feelings into account is unfair in any situation, NOT that the parent has to stop being an adult, just some compassion for being a 12 year old would be nice.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Maybe just maybe he isnt being "pushed" maybe just maybe this chile is being taught to learn how to be open minded. His father has a right to expose his child to different lifestyles with open communication at all times. I would hope he would at least because frankly there is NOTHING wrong With a child being taught to accept people regardless of how different or freakish others may see them. We dont really know since Dad is not here to give us his side or explain to us why he is choosing to expose said child to his relarionship choices.

[Corkey]

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.

I gargantee that is getting more sexual esposare vía music, television, & video games than a lock & tail.

Justin Beiber per example, Twiglight, Hannah Montana girl, Teen Mom Toddlers & Tiaras.

[Chancie]

I have an extremely close friend who has one sister who is very religious.

This sister is very loving and generous to her niece and her nephew, but

She didn't attend their commitment ceremony and

I can easily imagine her saying something like,

They shouldn't force those children to accept their life choices.

[Chancie]

Originally Posted by Corkey

Where is the child's right? Kids these days are fairly knowledgeable about a whole host of sexual and kinky shit. I can only go from what the OP said that the kid is being pushed. Therefore he has the right not to have to be exposed if he doesn't want to.

I think it's hard to know exactly what is going on in someone else's family, but

For the sake of discussion, let's accept the accuracy of the details we were provided.

I completely agree with you.

This young person should be able to share his feelings with his father and

Communication about his needs should matter to his father.

[JustJo]

I don't know anyone who's a furry, and it doesn't appeal to me personally, but I don't have an issue with it. I also don't think that kids knowing that their parents are sexual beings is a bad thing.

What all of it comes down to, for me, is communication and a basic respect for the child's feelings.

To take it out of a sexual/furry/transgendered context...

When I was 11 and 12 years old, I played viola in the junior high orchestra. I was first chair. I practiced a lot, and worked hard. Periodically, we gave concerts that parents and the community were invited to.

All of the other parents would show up on time, showered, dressed, sit in the seats, applaud....all the "normal" concert behavior.

My mother would arrive late...generally in the middle of the performance...not because she couldn't help it/had to work, but because (as she would loudly announce to everyone within hearing range) she had been so caught up "at the barn." That probably didn't need to be explained....because she also smelled like the barn, and was still dressed in riding clothes....and would stomp loudly up the aisle, "pardon me, pardon me, pardon me" into the middle of a row, and then laugh and talk loudly (about herself) through the rest of the performance.

I was embarrassed on a regular basis...and used to wish that she either wouldn't come at all, or would simply be "like other people's parents." I got used to hearing the other parents talk about "that woman", but it never became something that I was okay with.

About midway through junior high, I told my orchestra teacher that I was quitting. He cared enough to ask why....and I explained to him my regular humiliation. Perhaps I should have been more self-confident...or not cared what other people thought...but I was already the child dressed out of the Salvation Army bin, the one using a school instrument, the one whose family got the charity basket from the PTA on the holidays, the one being teased and bullied.

My teacher cared enough to listen...and told me not to quit.

He also spoke privately to my mother.

I don't know what he said exactly. But I do know that for the rest of the years there, she either showed up on time and behaved herself....or she didn't come to the concert at all. Both things were an improvement for me.

I appreciate that he was the adult he was; that he recognized a child's discomfort and had the character to address it, because as a child I could not.

[Corkey]

I'm one of the no one should be forced to do anything that they don't want to do, it comes with that life liberty and the pursuit whole thing. Doesn't mean folks can't be who they are. I don't think this is necessarily about religion. 'Cause I'm not one of the flock as it were.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Exactly Jo, someone needs to speak to all parents especially the unknowing parent. My ex husband is aware of my choices I don't let him hear it via others or the internets. I hope the child is heard by allll adults involved, I hope the child is taught to be open minded and I hope Mom is made aware ASAP that her man cub is distraught.

[scootebaby]

Until and if Okie comes back to give more details all any of us are doing is speculating..reading the OP as "WE" see it. As so many others said...it comes down to communicating with your child. If that is happening with the father and child and the child is still having issues then i would suggest the father make time for just him and the child.

Kids are very resilient AND vey smart at a very young age. Hell the Prince knew something was different with me before we ever discussed it. I remember once going in a store(he was 5 i think),and he was talking to the cashier about something and she asked him why he said something and he pops off with "well thats what my moms girlfriend said. We talked after that. He never had a problem with it--except for a brief 2 minutes in 5th grade bc his friends mom found out i was gay,and suddenly wouldnt let her kid come around..within a week or so he came to me and said "Mom if they dont like u how u r then i dont need them"



so as its been said COMMUNICATION with children is key to everything!

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Okiebug61

*snip*

She identifies as a Transgendered Furry Slave!
And I identify as a queer femme princess. Just as you identify as whatever it is you identify as. What's the problem?

*snip*

The poor kid is in the middle of full blown puberty and is having a huge problem with all of this. The furry wears a tale in public and the slave collar with a huge lock. The brother wears the key to the lock around his neck. It's embarrassing poor Nick and he doesn't want to go anywhere with his dad and the furry in public.
Ya know, what a person *wears*, for any reason, shouldn't really be an issue. Yes, 12 year olds get embarrassed about A LOT of things their parents do. Trust me, as the mother of a 13 year old son, I know all about it. As for the collar, lock, key, tail...there are similar things worn by folks not even in a kink lifestyle. Are you familiar with metalheads/punk style/steampunk/etc etc? Are those "embarrassing" things to be as well, that should be tucked away? If so, well... Back in the day, sometimes even now, my means of dress have not always been of the societal norm. Back in the day, my son would roll his eyes, get embarrassed, and give me all those *sighs* when going along somewhere with me because of how I was dressed, i.e. camo cargos, some weird-ish top, big black boots, my wallet with the heavy chain that hung to my knee, my thick spiked collar, wide (sometimes spiked) leather bracelets that went halfway up my forearms, and purple or blue streaked hair. He rolled his eyes at my straight male buddy who used to wear a red kilt, combat boots, and yes, a FOX TAIL (for no kink reason at all, just because he thought it looked cool).

I do not want to offend anyone but seriously, why should a child be forced to deal with this.
So far, it seems this child is only dealing with the adults mode of dress, so to speak. Like I said, my son has been embarrassed by how I dress. Just like I used to be absolutely mortified by my mother who wore green camo overalls with bright red lipstick and bright blue eyeshadow. Yes, sucked like crazy, just as I'm sure it sucked like crazy for my child. Luckily, my child and I have a very open line of communication, so that now we both analyze each other's style and tone it down a lil if either is embarrassing to the other. Yes, my child has embarrassing style on his own sometimes as well, which I NURTURED and ALLOWED despite what others thought. If wearing athletic pants tucked into his cowboy boots with a button-up Hawaiian shirt and baseball cap backwards made him more comfortable and allowed him a lil freedom to be himself, then it was worth any embarrassment I may have felt.

Eventhough at 12 or 13 years old they are still a child, they are also reaching that age where they are more capable of accepting and understanding, (despite being in the awkward age/stage), when treated with such from the adults in their lives. "Deal with it" is all good in theory but as most parents will tell you, it doesn't get you very far with your child compared to how far you get when you sit down and have an actual conversation with the child.

My point IS...so far, nothing really has been addressed other than that this child has issue with the way the adults LOOK in public. It would be a COMPLETELY different story if the adults were exposing this child to BEHAVIORS that the child should not be exposed to, but I haven't seen that mentioned anywhere in this post. As for behaviors, I mean any kind of sexual act, kink or otherwise. Kissing, holding hands, etc is NOT what I'm referring to. For ME PERSONALLY, I don't think children should be exposed to overt sexual behavior from folks, no matter if the folks are gay/straight/vanilla/kinky/etc. There shouldn't be any yiffing or dry humping or anything of that sort in front of a child. (Also, why my 13 year old still isn't allowed to watch some movies or play some video games. It's all about the level of exposure that we wish our child to have, whether sexually/verbally/graphic violence/etc.) No, I'm not saying that a child should be kept in the dark about sex and sexuality. There's a big difference between educating and being honest with the child, and exposing the child to overt sexual behavior between adults. That's a line that I draw in my personal life especially. My son will have his own experiences, he will learn things on his own from experience, listening to his buddies, etc. All I can do is educate him and be there for him with honest answers when he has questions, concerns, etc. THIS SITUATION doesn't seem to be any of this. It seems to be nothing more than the child, OP, and OP's partner being uncomfortable with the way a person looks and/or identifies. Personally, I don't get it. I do, however, agree that the child's feelings should be taken into consideration and validated, as well as addressed by BOTH parents.

I'm not even gonna spend much time on the fainting spells, cause, well...I'd probably have just left her laying there and went on about my business. Sounds like drama/attention-getting behavior, but that is normal in some folks whether they are a transgendered furry slave or the lil housewife next door. *shrug*

[tapu]

Kinda wish I hadn't read this thread....


Okay, I have an opinion. I think it will be unpopular. Nonetheless, I can tell you right now that there's nothing that could sway me.


There is something wrong with this father that he thinks it is okay to include his child publicly in something overtly sexual to those in the know about such things, and something overtly whacked to those others.

I'm a closet nudist. But do I walk around in front of Asa and his little friends with next to nothing on. No.

Here's why: I respect my child. That guy doesn't respect his child, or he has something else wrong with him along the lines of not knowing what is and isn't respecting a child.


p.s. When someone says "at least it's not drunk driving," or whatever, is that an argument that anything short of drunk driving is fine? Because it's like arguing, well, maybe one partner beat the other up but they didn't kill 'em. I don't think we have to be satisfied with stemming only the worst.