Tourist Etiquette

[Kobi]

It's Memorial Day weekend, the official beginning of summer vacations.
Those of us who live in touristy areas always have some stuff to say about tourists. Sometimes it is just to rank on them cuz they are frustrating and annoying and rude. Sometimes, its because tourists do some pretty funny stuff.

Regardless of the reason for doing it, there are always lessons to learn. Lessons for those of us who might both put up with tourists and who have been tourists ourselves. Let's call them friendly reminders for the travel season.

I live on Cape Cod. Tourists for me are a necessary evil. They make up the bulk of our economy in one way or another. So, we have to tolerate them.

You can always tell a tourist from regular folk. Aside from the out of state license plates, tourists always come with a lot of stuff. Stuff on bike racks, stuff on roof racks, and this year stuff on platform racks on the front of vehicles. WTF is with all the stuff?

You can also tell a tourist by the way they drive. Taking into account that a typical drive here will involve 5-25 miles of traffic standstill before you actually reach one of the 2 bridges linking the mainland with the island, we understand the hours sitting in an overheating car with screaming children who have to go potty or are hungry can make you cranky.

Nonetheless, this is no excuse for turning into a "road warrior". Speed limits here range from 25-55 for a reason. This is rural living with 95% of the roads one lane in each direction. Even the few roads that are two lanes in each direction, at certain points, turn into one lane. Some roads are not even paved. Some are "paved" with crushed seafood shells which at high speeds puncture tires like balloons. This will make you even crankier.

Another reason for the speed limits is we have things like people walking and people riding bikes and we dont have many sidewalks. Exercise is a good thing and we encourage it. Road warriors striking people at high rates of speed screws things up.

Merging is a way of life here not a sport. Refusing to yield may make you feel superior, like a winner, like a competitor but there is always a tree or telephone pole just waiting to make your acquaintance.

We also have wildlife here. Aside from the dolphins, seals and sharks, we also have deer, fox, wild turkeys, coyotes and things like duck families who cross main roads like they own them. Smooshing our ducks is frowned upon. Traffic stops for ducks crossing. Get used to it.

Smooshing nesting piping plovers or disturbing their nests in anyway is a violation of Federal law and will land you in jail.

We have a thing here called personal space. It is an agreed upon area of air that is ours and ours alone. It surrounds our person and our vehicles. Violations of personal space include tailgating, and bumping into us repeatedly with supermarket carts.

Parking is at a premium here. If you cannot figure out how to get your big azz SUV or monster ford f-<insert number here> truck between 2 consecutive white lines, why did you buy it?

After the Kennedy's, the beach is what we are most noted for. Beaches are for fun, to get some sun, to swim, to have a place to sit and rest. Marking off your territory with garden fences, then filling the space with towels, blankets, sheets, pop up tents, boom boxes, portable tv's, coolers, and pool toys is obnoxious. It's a beach, not a refugee camp.

Pool toys and the ocean do not mix....unless you want to retrieve your child from their impromtu trip to Boston via the currents.....dont use them.

When someone tries to educate you about tides....listen. Tides do not go out or come in in a straight line. When you are told the sandbar you are camped on will be surrounded by water in 15 minutes heed the warning....unless you feel like floating your belongings, kids, toys, and stuff back to shore. Its funny to watch tho.

The important thing to remember is we are not on your vacation. A little common courtesy leads to common courtesy returned.

Anyone else have stories or reminders for our upcoming vacations?

[UofMfan]

I lived in Ft. Lauderdale for many years, prior to that, Miami, and even though at this moment I don't have any stories to tell, this is what I have to say.

I used to spot the tourist right away. They were the ones with palest skin, loaded with stuff and would get in the water when temps where too cold for us locals. The driving was also a dead giveaway but it was mostly the tremendous amount of stuff they carried and their lack of etiquette that gave them away.

It sometimes felt like they came to town and just took a dump, well, mostly during Spring Break.

I agree with your post Kobi, it brought brought back many memories

[Gemme]

I lived in Daytona Beach for a couple of years. Luckily, most of the beach crowd was over on the other side but I lived off of Bill France Blvd. For those that don't know, that road leads to the speedway. So race week was a special kind of Hell for me.

And why is it that only the unattractive (to me) people get naked?

[Nina]

here, in SF during the summer months, it's often easy to pick out the out-of-town'ers... they wear shorts, and sandals...sleeveless tops and don't have a sweater, shawl or covering in sight...they stand in the street, with their hands up and the cutest expectant looks as they try to hail a cab...

we don't have a lot of cabs...

they stand in the middle of the sidewalks reading maps...they don't keep a good hold on their purses or shoulder carry bags when they are reading the maps...not a good plan...

it's cute...I want to pet them

[betenoire]

I have this advice for people who want to be tourists:

Do not call me on the Friday of Memorial Day weekend at 7pm and be like "Oh hi! I want to book an oceanfront room in the resort and spa at _____ beach for this weekend and I want to use the AAA rate!" and then be mad at me because there are no oceanfront rooms left, the AAA rate is all used up for the weekend, and the only room we have left costs 400+ a night.

Plan your shit ahead of time or be willing to accept what is left.

[EnderD_503]

Tourist season in Toronto is opening up, but it'll get much worse. Usually I have no issues with tourists. Most of the time I don't really notice them that much unless they're taking frantic pictures in front of insignificant buildings. I can understand that, though. When you're visiting a city/country and something the locals see as silly is so amazing or interesting to you, lol. I dunno, it's just funny to me.

One of the problems I have is the American tourists who see fit to criticise every fucking thing about the culture of the nation they are visiting. It was the same thing in Germany when I did a guided tour of Munich with some visiting Canadians. There were Americans on the same tour who had to put their own spin on everything the guide would tell them. When the guide would talk about how American pilots used the towers of the Frauenkirche as targets to bomb the city, they would have to interject with something about how the US "saved" everybody or "won the war" (according to American history texts perhaps?). That or they would try to justify what happened at Dresden, or contradict the history of a certain location as if they knew better. Or if something the guide said contradicted something they'd learned in the US they would have to try to "correct" the tour guide who has fucking lived there all his life and is paid to do this.

Either that or you hear them sitting near you in restaurants talking about how "backward" everything is. Or the younger Americans who come in groups, get ridiculously more drunk than everybody else and can't seem to control themselves, sleep with everything that moves, rant on about stupid shit or destroy property just because mommy and daddy aren't there to supervise them. I even remember one time sitting in the biergarten in the Englischer Garten in Munich hearing some morons talk about how the Czechs must have stolen Budweiser from the Americans...of course everything is always stolen from the Americans, even Athens, Greece apparently I'm sorry to sound like I'm ragging on American tourists, but I've heard some really stupid shit and makes me wonder if they believe half of what they say...

To me, if you are going to visit a country you should at least respect the culture and the people. I may not be the fondest person of the American government or popular culture, but if I were visiting the US I would be visiting because I want to see the country. I wouldn't spend my time trash talking everything. If you go to a country it's for a reason, and you should respect the people in it and try to learn a bit of the history and culture. I wish all tourists would do this, and that's the biggest issue I have with many tourists.

Many French tourists visiting Québec and many English tourists visiting Canada are the same damned way. Yet for some reason when we visit France they are often very nice and we get along fine. For some reason they get their rocks off being condescending to the locals in Canada and I don't understand why they seem to lose their brains when they go on vacation.

I can't fucking stand French tourists who criticize the French Canadian dialect, despite that it's older than Parisian French to begin with. Many of them can understand what you're saying but pretend like they don't just to be assholes. Same with the English who always have to trash talk Canadians. It seems to be a pattern with a lot of English tourists for some reason. Even in Germany many act like such asses.

Also: people well over 40 who stay in youth hostels that are meant for backpackers/travelers in their teens, twenties or early thirties. It's called a youth hostel for a reason! It's frustrating when you're traveling and the hostel is full of families well over 40 who just want to travel cheaply instead of needing to travel cheaply. I don't know how many times I have not been able to find a place to sleep, while fitting the age demographic of youth hostels, because of this, and instead have to sleep on the floor in the train station waiting room because all the youth hostels are full of older vacationers. Youth hostels by definition cater to a younger crowd which is why they are so cheap (sometimes only 16-17 Euros a night), so I don't know why they let those tourists in.

[/tourist rant]

But yeah, in general tourists aren't so bad unless they start to make stupid comments or destroy things. Or if they are a part of a huge festival that clogs up the subway/traffic so that regular Canadians can't get to work. Like the whole World Youth Day thing a few years back where it would take me nearly 2 hours to get to work in the morning that summer because of the amount of tourists trying to get downtown at the same time.

These are of course the worst of the worst, and probably the average tourist just flies under the radar because they are too busy enjoying where they are instead of trash talking or destroying things and generally being miserable So nothing wrong with the average tourists.

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

Also: people well over 40 who stay in youth hostels that are meant for backpackers/travelers in their teens, twenties or early thirties. It's called a youth hostel for a reason! It's frustrating when you're traveling and the hostel is full of families well over 40 who just want to travel cheaply instead of needing to travel cheaply. I don't know how many times I have not been able to find a place to sleep, while fitting the age demographic of youth hostels, because of this, and instead have to sleep on the floor in the train station waiting room because all the youth hostels are full of older vacationers. Youth hostels by definition cater to a younger crowd which is why they are so cheap (sometimes only 16-17 Euros a night), so I don't know why they let those tourists in.

For real. This. (Although I've never been to Europe and I do presume that the hostels there are different from the ones in North America.) I used to travel (here and in the US) a lot and would always stay in hostels - but now that I'm 33 I feel like it would be "creepy" of me if I did. So I don't. I wish other people would get some scruples.

Also about 10 years ago my friend K and I stayed at a hostel in New York and there were a couple of guys from France there. K is French (from Manitoba) and those two guys were giant douchebags to her and would pretend that they found her difficult to understand even though she could understand everything they said (and I could understand enough to get by). It was just really shitty behaviour. I didn't know before then that there was some weird "our French is better than your French" shit wandering around. Sometimes the stuff you learn when you exit your bubble is stuff you'd really rather not know, right?

[Converse]

My parents live next to miles of unspoilt white sand and turquoise blue ocean- recently on the phone my father complained to me of the “damn tourist season” and how crazy it is there, he saw “at least 3 or maybe even 4 sets of footprints on the beach!”- I’m guessing they will have to come up with some crowd control strategy soon…

I spent many years working for the tourism industry and have lots of fond memories of conversations, including trying to answer “why Australians choose to celebrate Christmas in the middle of summer when its so bloody hot?”

Here are some others I found…

"England? That's in London, isn't it?" -- Asked of an English tourist in the United States.
"Does your flag come in any other colors?" -- Asked by a tourist in Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.
"Can I get a ferry to Australia?" -- Asked at the Auckland, New Zealand, Visitor Information Centre.
"Is there anyone here who speaks Australian?" -- Asked of a tourist information center in Scotland.
“Why did the queen build Windsor Castle so close to Heathrow Airport?" -- Asked by an American tourist in England.
"I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns." -- Posted to a tourism web site.
"Sorry, we don't sell tickets outside of the U.S. . . . I don't care how new Mexico is, we don't sell tickets outside the U.S." -- A ticket salesperson for the 1996 Olympics, on the phone with someone from New Mexico.
"Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state." -- An irate man to a travel agent, after returning from a trip to Orlando. The man was upset because his hotel room did not have an ocean view.

[Kobi]

I like to say some behavior is just because people dont think. I'm
not sure but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt before
I react to it.

Often times, I find people think everything is there for their amusement,
is a disney thing rather than a living thing or history, or is just something to take a photo of.

When it comes to wildlife, I have no patience for people being people.
Beachings of dolphins and whales is a big problem here. It is not for your enjoyment, or facebook page or something for you to gawk at. It is a lot of work to save as many of them as can be saved. And it is very ugly when they have to be euthanized. It would be really nice if people respected the life at stake.

Same with allowing your children to chase seagulls and other shorebirds. Or using standed sand sharks, snails, crabs and other living things as toys.

I really dont want to be the one to educate your kids or you on toys versus life. Nor do I appreciate your attitude when I do so. Perhaps you would prefer if I let something bite or mangle your kid....lord knows sometimes I wish they would....but common decency prevents me from doing so.

Why is this such a complicated concept for people?

[Toughy]

ok converse.........laughin.........you brought up New Mexico

All of these heard at the Santa Fe/Taos/NM state tourist info center and/or various hotels in New Mexico (and these are all from anglo-american citizens):

Do I need a passport?

Do I need to change my American dollars for peso and what is the exchange rate?

At what elevation do deer become elk? (honest to the goddess this is a true question)

Is there electricity and running water?

Can you drink the water?

Is there an airport?

Are all the roads paved? (actually there are lots of dirt roads)

Exactly where is New Mexico? (it's the state between texas and arizona, then tourist says with an incredulous voice: there's a state between Tx and Az?????)

Are there cattle drives through town?

Will we see cowboys on horseback in town? (actually I can take you to the Mora (population about 300 or so) and you will see cowboys on horseback and hitching posts with horses attached)

Do Indians still attack white people? (for real)

What language is spoken....do I need an english to spanish dictionary?

Can we take pictures of Indians if we see them? (depends....always ask first...at Taos Pueblo they will charge you 20 bucks to bring a camera into the Pueblo and I think it's $20 more to take pictures...laughin....)

Do the Indians who sells jewelry on the Santa Fe Plaza take dollars? Do they speak English?

[UofMfan]

Originally Posted by Converse

...<snip>"[/B] -- An irate man to a travel agent, after returning from a trip to Orlando. The man was upset because his hotel room did not have an ocean view.

Oh my, this made me laugh out loud!

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by Toughy

ok converse.........laughin.........you brought up New Mexico

All of these heard at the Santa Fe/Taos/NM state tourist info center and/or various hotels in New Mexico (and these are all from anglo-american citizens):

Do I need a passport?

Do I need to change my American dollars for peso and what is the exchange rate?

At what elevation do deer become elk? (honest to the goddess this is a true question)

Is there electricity and running water?

Can you drink the water?

Is there an airport?

Are all the roads paved? (actually there are lots of dirt roads)

Exactly where is New Mexico? (it's the state between texas and arizona, then tourist says with an incredulous voice: there's a state between Tx and Az?????)

Are there cattle drives through town?

Will we see cowboys on horseback in town? (actually I can take you to the Mora (population about 300 or so) and you will see cowboys on horseback and hitching posts with horses attached)

Do Indians still attack white people? (for real)

What language is spoken....do I need an english to spanish dictionary?

Can we take pictures of Indians if we see them? (depends....always ask first...at Taos Pueblo they will charge you 20 bucks to bring a camera into the Pueblo and I think it's $20 more to take pictures...laughin....)

Do the Indians who sells jewelry on the Santa Fe Plaza take dollars? Do they speak English?

Nice to see the results of all that money we spend on education.

[hpychick]

Gemme -

I say, by the time most people are comfortable [enough] with their bodies [to stroll naked publicly] no one else is.

Originally Posted by Gemme

I lived in Daytona Beach for a couple of years. Luckily, most of the beach crowd was over on the other side but I lived off of Bill France Blvd. For those that don't know, that road leads to the speedway. So race week was a special kind of Hell for me.

And why is it that only the unattractive (to me) people get naked?

[betenoire]

So for those of you who don't know - my second job (I have two jobs! Ask me how!) is in a reservation centre for a ginormous hotel chain. Anyway. A couple of weeks back I got a call from an American. (I do believe I posted the condensed version a while back, the full thing is funnier)

Me: Thank you for calling ____ reservations. My name is Brandy. How can I help you?
Her: I want to go to Canada.
Me: Great! We have lots of hotels in Canada, where in Canada are you travelling to?
Her: Canada. On Victoria Street.
Me: What city and province is that in?
Her: Victoria Street.
Me: Do you want to go to Victoria in British Columbia?
Her: No. I want to go to Canada.
Me: ....okay. What were you going to Canada for? Was there an attraction you want to be near?
Her: I want to go see the falls.
Me: *lightbulb moment* OH! So you'd like to go to Niagara Falls, Ontario?
Her: No. I want to go to Canada.
Me: Yes, Ma'am. Niagara Falls is a city in Ontario which is in Canada.
Her: No. Niagara Falls is in New York. I want to go to the Horseshoe Falls.
Me: There's also a city called Niagara Falls in Canada, it's right across the border from Niagara Falls in New York. The falls on the Canadian side are shaped like a horseshoe so they got the nickname the "Horseshoe Falls".
Her: Are you sure?
Me: I'm Canadian.
Her: ....well. I guess you'd know.
Me: Yes.

The thing that makes this even worse is that she was from New York state, like Buffalo area or Rochester I think it was. So she should have fucking KNOWN that stuff.

[EnderD_503]

Originally Posted by betenoire

So for those of you who don't know - my second job (I have two jobs! Ask me how!) is in a reservation centre for a ginormous hotel chain. Anyway. A couple of weeks back I got a call from an American. (I do believe I posted the condensed version a while back, the full thing is funnier)

Me: Thank you for calling ____ reservations. My name is Brandy. How can I help you?
Her: I want to go to Canada.
Me: Great! We have lots of hotels in Canada, where in Canada are you travelling to?
Her: Canada. On Victoria Street.
Me: What city and province is that in?
Her: Victoria Street.
Me: Do you want to go to Victoria in British Columbia?
Her: No. I want to go to Canada.
Me: ....okay. What were you going to Canada for? Was there an attraction you want to be near?
Her: I want to go see the falls.
Me: *lightbulb moment* OH! So you'd like to go to Niagara Falls, Ontario?
Her: No. I want to go to Canada.
Me: Yes, Ma'am. Niagara Falls is a city in Ontario which is in Canada.
Her: No. Niagara Falls is in New York. I want to go to the Horseshoe Falls.
Me: There's also a city called Niagara Falls in Canada, it's right across the border from Niagara Falls in New York. The falls on the Canadian side are shaped like a horseshoe so they got the nickname the "Horseshoe Falls".
Her: Are you sure?
Me: I'm Canadian.
Her: ....well. I guess you'd know.
Me: Yes.

The thing that makes this even worse is that she was from New York state, like Buffalo area or Rochester I think it was. So she should have fucking KNOWN that stuff.

Lmao! I was expecting her to be a prank caller or something. But she was actually serious? God, that's sad.

"So you'd like to go to Niagara Falls, Ontario?" "No. I want to go to Canada."

Priceless!

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by EnderD_503

Lmao! I was expecting her to be a prank caller or something. But she was actually serious? God, that's sad.

"So you'd like to go to Niagara Falls, Ontario?" "No. I want to go to Canada."

Priceless!

Not a prank caller, either! She seriously booked a hotel room, I couldn't believe it.

Oh, and about that particular hotel I frequently get this question from people: "Now, that fallsview room...will I be able to see the falls from it"?

I always want to say "fallsview is our secret codeword for crack alley."

God. of COURSE you can see the falls from the "fallsview" room. Lordamercy.

[Kobi]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Not a prank caller, either! She seriously booked a hotel room, I couldn't believe it.

Oh, and about that particular hotel I frequently get this question from people: "Now, that fallsview room...will I be able to see the falls from it"?

I always want to say "fallsview is our secret codeword for crack alley."

God. of COURSE you can see the falls from the "fallsview" room. Lordamercy.

This one I can actually sympathize with. Tourism is about marketing.
We have ocean view rooms which are self explanatory. And we have water front rooms. This can mean it overlooks a pond, a stream, a pool, a flooded parking lot, a poorly functioning septic......always something to clarify!

[Camo Eagle]

OMG some of your posts had me LMAO.

I live in a suburb of San Antonio. SA gets prolly 1/2 of its income from tourism as well. Oh my dont get me started. LOL My fav is when Im asked where are all the horses & cowboys.

Just today I was walking behind a grp of tourists. As we walked along 4 or 5 of the grp of 12 were constantly throwing trash on ground. They were all eating and drinking, and the empty wrappers/cans just got tossed by some of them.

One of the older adult men was commenting on how dirty out city was, trash on street, etc. He went on to make a nasty crack about the slogan "Dont mess with Tx", at the same time that he threw his taco wrapper & can on the ground.
This was on a Military Post no less. The only reason there was trash laying around was bc an event was just finishing up, and jackasses like him left the trash.

Later all the poor little trainees & Privates will have to come out there and pick it all up.

[TickledPink]

Nashville is small and we get lots of tourists wanting to experience the "Country Music Scene."

So, all I gotta' say is I invented my own bumper sticker:

"Welcome to Nashville! Now go home!"

[Gemme]

Originally Posted by hpychick

Gemme -

I say, by the time most people are comfortable [enough] with their bodies [to stroll naked publicly] no one else is.

Riiiight?

Actually, I was specifically referring to the emaciated bleached Barbie dolls and the famous beer-bellied-hairy-backed-hicks (a very special and famous breed of homo sapien in DB). The rest I was fine with.

Keep in mind, I wasn't talking about the beaches. Those folks were over on A1A and out of my way. This was strictly race week tourists I was commenting on earlier.