Random Thoughts

Jedi · 05-06-2010, 08:45 PM

I kinda wanted a place on the planet where I could just get out some random thoughts. I think a lot about stuff sometimes. Maybe someone can relate or has an equal beef or possibly just understands.....

Jedi · 05-06-2010, 09:03 PM

She took you away...
And you died...
All I can see in my mind is that she killed you...
and...things will never be the same...

I miss my friend...
I miss my playmate...
I miss my companion...
and...things will never be the same...

To this very day...
I still cry when I think about your wagging tail...
I still cry when I think about the walks we will never take...
I still cry when I realize I will never see you again...
and...things will never be the same...

SuperFemme · 05-06-2010, 09:20 PM

I can relate.

My thoughts are nothing if not random.

Lillie · 05-07-2010, 02:56 PM

I second that emotion

Lillie

Jedi · 05-07-2010, 08:58 PM

Today was kinda long.....and tedious......i just keep shaking my head. Today was a day. I worked my ass off...and tried to help some people make sense of stuff so it would get done and done right and it didn't. People wouldn't listen to me..... I am so glad they aren't going to be on my route. I'm just helping out to get some hours. I'm going to be a team lead when the I am on my own route. Just.....if I never see another bandaid tonight. Or antifungal cream. I don't envy jock itch....lol I'm doing a Walgreens reset and well.....after I'm done with this, I won't be going in a Walgreens for a while.

I thought a lot today about love... How magical it is for me... How hopelessly romantic I am... How Mother's Day is coming up and how I don't want my to stepmother to go through the day without getting a call from me. I'm so bad about remembering. Is it my meds? Cuz....I can name the Star Trek episode by the teaser.....Next Generation anyway.

Oh please someone save me from Walgreens........

Jedi · 05-09-2010, 06:40 AM

I'm up early today. Not sure why. Yesterday was rather eventful but not in a good way. I'm going to help a friend to get off drugs. This isn't going to be easy.

Jedi · 05-12-2010, 08:53 AM

My week is full of overtime. Good for my wallet. I really wish the overnight position was a go. I could have dealt with some overnights....and sleep during the day.

Jedi · 05-13-2010, 09:15 PM

...is killing me. I'm not as young as I used to be. My knees aer killing me. what a hard floor. OMG! This is crazy...and even a Sat shift.....yikes....I'm gonna be dead before this job is done. And there's gonna be nothing I can do about it.

Jedi · 05-27-2010, 01:01 PM

It's stranger than fiction
How you've decayed
It must be so lonely
Lost within your ways

You're born alone, you die alone
The rest is yours to fill the gap
The world goes on without you here
Adjust or just collapse

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help
By yourself, by yourself, by yourself

Verbal grenades
You throw in vain
I can't believe you'd stoop so low
Of all the things you took away
I miss my mind the most

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help
By yourself, by yourself, by yourself

Is this what you wanted to be
Alone standing by yourself
Is this all you wanted to be
Or was that a cry for help!

It's stranger than fiction
How you've decayed
It must be so lonely
Lost within your ways

Jedi · 06-05-2010, 12:53 PM

I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

I know that you've been damaged
Your soul has suffered such abuse
But I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you
I am just as fucked as you
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
So just save yourself

Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me
Please don't take pity on me

My life has been a nightmare
My soul is fractured to the bone
And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone
I think I'd rather be alone

You can not save me
You can't even save yourself
I can not save you
I can't even save myself
Save yourself
So just save yourself

Jedi · 10-11-2010, 10:56 PM

I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.

LipstickLola · 10-12-2010, 12:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediMaster

I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.

Jedi, feeling the exact same way about someone now gone from my life, and wishing (praying really) for another chance. The days, weeks, months, did add up, and maybe enough time has passed? who knows? Shall I keep my torch a burning??

Maybe a bit longer.

Jedi · 10-13-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LipstickLola

Jedi, feeling the exact same way about someone now gone from my life, and wishing (praying really) for another chance. The days, weeks, months, did add up, and maybe enough time has passed? who knows? Shall I keep my torch a burning??

Maybe a bit longer.

Lola,
I truly believe that if you have faith and you show God you are willing to make the changes for which she is "worthy" that the opportunity will present itself and God will give you back that with which you love. I just did. After months of praying and being depressed and fighting it. I did. And I have to show God this. My new group of friends prayed with me the other night that I find a job. They want to go to church with me....and on the same note they wanna do karaoke and have beers and get silly. They are healthy friends.....I made that change. I let myself go out and face the world. It wasn't easy. And my behavior wasn't always good. But it's better than it was. I'm not perfect. At least that is how I feel about it. I was making positive changes in my life after mourning a great loss...but this one wouldn't be a permanent loss. It's nice to know that someone has some mutual feelings on this journey. I am definitely not alone.....although that was how it felt at the time. I wasn't about to let go.

I hope that makes a little sense to you....because really......only YOU can decide for yourself how long you let the torch burn.

Namaste,

Jedi

LipstickLola · 10-13-2010, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediMaster

Lola,
I truly believe that if you have faith and you show God you are willing to make the changes for which she is "worthy" that the opportunity will present itself and God will give you back that with which you love. I just did. After months of praying and being depressed and fighting it. I did. And I have to show God this. My new group of friends prayed with me the other night that I find a job. They want to go to church with me....and on the same note they wanna do karaoke and have beers and get silly. They are healthy friends.....I made that change. I let myself go out and face the world. It wasn't easy. And my behavior wasn't always good. But it's better than it was. I'm not perfect. At least that is how I feel about it. I was making positive changes in my life after mourning a great loss...but this one wouldn't be a permanent loss. It's nice to know that someone has some mutual feelings on this journey. I am definitely not alone.....although that was how it felt at the time. I wasn't about to let go.

I hope that makes a little sense to you....because really......only YOU can decide for yourself how long you let the torch burn.

Namaste,

Jedi

Thank you. I believe

ox

Jedi · 01-06-2011, 12:30 AM

You disappeared again. I miss you. I miss how made me feel. I miss talking to you. making you laugh. I miss you so much. All I can hope is that you will come back to me. I look up at the starts at night and wonder where you are and how you are? Are we looking at the same stars? I wonder. It's been months again. And I wish I knew what happened to you. I miss you so. You know I want to marry you. So please don't be gone forever. I don't want to die alone.

Nightshade · 01-06-2011, 04:58 AM

I'm really happy to be part of a forum group who seems to view (as far as I can tell so far) thread necromancy as a positive thing.

The other website that I'm utterly devoted to seems to frown upon it.

<--- getting the lay of the land before barging in.

P.S. If I'm wrong, would someone please be kind enough to tell me so I don't look like an idiot?

Thanks

Jedi · 04-24-2011, 09:23 PM

You mean the world to me...
This is all so complicated....
I just want to be home.....

Andrew, Jr. · 04-25-2011, 01:44 AM

My random thoughts:

* I have really enjoyed this new show on OWN called "Addicted to Food" at the Shades of Hope Treatment Center. Brave souls.

*Dino is a bed hog, and he snores louder and louder it seems.

*I am wondering why my head is just hurting so badly?

Jedi · 04-25-2011, 04:05 PM

why is it always so hard? why do you have to be so difficult? makes me cry....and long.....and wonder what could have been......what should have been.......all because life isn't the way you want it.

Hollylane · 03-02-2013, 11:05 PM

Gaige and I are pondering who gets to decide which of the geese leads the flock in a V formation...

05-06-2010, 08:45 PM	#1
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Random Thoughts I kinda wanted a place on the planet where I could just get out some random thoughts. I think a lot about stuff sometimes. Maybe someone can relate or has an equal beef or possibly just understands.....

05-06-2010, 09:03 PM	#2
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Things Will Never Be The Same... She took you away... And you died... All I can see in my mind is that she killed you... and...things will never be the same... I miss my friend... I miss my playmate... I miss my companion... and...things will never be the same... To this very day... I still cry when I think about your wagging tail... I still cry when I think about the walks we will never take... I still cry when I realize I will never see you again... and...things will never be the same...

05-07-2010, 02:56 PM	#4
Lillie Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: babygirl,princess,her, that girl, she! but mostly just "babygirl" Relationship Status: single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: In the land of milk and honey!.. Posts: 358 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 406 Thanked 474 Times in 182 Posts Rep Power: 454631	I second that emotion Lillie __________________ *Lillie* *The most expensive jewels I ever wore around my neck was my child's arms* http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z...orizontal3.jpg http://s338.photobucket.com/albums/n...sexy/00033.gif

05-07-2010, 08:58 PM	#5
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Another one down... Today was kinda long.....and tedious......i just keep shaking my head. Today was a day. I worked my ass off...and tried to help some people make sense of stuff so it would get done and done right and it didn't. People wouldn't listen to me..... I am so glad they aren't going to be on my route. I'm just helping out to get some hours. I'm going to be a team lead when the I am on my own route. Just.....if I never see another bandaid tonight. Or antifungal cream. I don't envy jock itch....lol I'm doing a Walgreens reset and well.....after I'm done with this, I won't be going in a Walgreens for a while. I thought a lot today about love... How magical it is for me... How hopelessly romantic I am... How Mother's Day is coming up and how I don't want my to stepmother to go through the day without getting a call from me. I'm so bad about remembering. Is it my meds? Cuz....I can name the Star Trek episode by the teaser.....Next Generation anyway. Oh please someone save me from Walgreens........

05-09-2010, 06:40 AM	#6
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Another day... I'm up early today. Not sure why. Yesterday was rather eventful but not in a good way. I'm going to help a friend to get off drugs. This isn't going to be easy.

05-06-2010, 09:20 PM	#3
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	I can relate. My thoughts are nothing if not random.

05-12-2010, 08:53 AM	#7
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Crazy week... My week is full of overtime. Good for my wallet. I really wish the overnight position was a go. I could have dealt with some overnights....and sleep during the day.

05-13-2010, 09:15 PM	#8
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	All this overtime... ...is killing me. I'm not as young as I used to be. My knees aer killing me. what a hard floor. OMG! This is crazy...and even a Sat shift.....yikes....I'm gonna be dead before this job is done. And there's gonna be nothing I can do about it.

05-27-2010, 01:01 PM	#9
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Stranger Than Fiction It's stranger than fiction How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways You're born alone, you die alone The rest is yours to fill the gap The world goes on without you here Adjust or just collapse Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Verbal grenades You throw in vain I can't believe you'd stoop so low Of all the things you took away I miss my mind the most Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help By yourself, by yourself, by yourself Is this what you wanted to be Alone standing by yourself Is this all you wanted to be Or was that a cry for help! It's stranger than fiction How you've decayed It must be so lonely Lost within your ways

06-05-2010, 12:53 PM	#10
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	Stabbing Westward - Save Yourself I know your life is empty And you hate to face this world alone So you're searching for an angel Someone who can make you whole I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself I know that you've been damaged Your soul has suffered such abuse But I am not your savior I am just as fucked as you I am just as fucked as you I can not save you I can't even save myself So just save yourself Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me Please don't take pity on me My life has been a nightmare My soul is fractured to the bone And if I must be lonely, I think I'd rather be alone I think I'd rather be alone You can not save me You can't even save yourself I can not save you I can't even save myself Save yourself So just save yourself

10-11-2010, 10:56 PM	#11
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	I miss you!!!!! I miss you! I have no other way to say it. I just wish everything could be ok again. I'm really not sure what happened. I know you were holding things together so well but now I feel like you're in the witness protection program. It just isn't the same without you. Life doesn't feel the same without you there. And I know that is really a way that logically I should not feel, but I do. It just isn't the same without you. The only way I know how to put it. And, I hope beyond hope, that today is the day I will get to hear from you. But the days and weeks and months are adding up now and all I want to know is that you're ok........and that I can tell you you're ok. I know how it feels to be alone like this. I don't much like it.

01-06-2011, 12:30 AM	#15
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	And the torch still burns.... You disappeared again. I miss you. I miss how made me feel. I miss talking to you. making you laugh. I miss you so much. All I can hope is that you will come back to me. I look up at the starts at night and wonder where you are and how you are? Are we looking at the same stars? I wonder. It's been months again. And I wish I knew what happened to you. I miss you so. You know I want to marry you. So please don't be gone forever. I don't want to die alone.

01-06-2011, 04:58 AM	#16
Nightshade Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme Preferred Pronoun?: her/she Relationship Status: . Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: here Posts: 125 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 503 Thanked 236 Times in 84 Posts Rep Power: 42017	zombies I'm really happy to be part of a forum group who seems to view (as far as I can tell so far) thread necromancy as a positive thing. The other website that I'm utterly devoted to seems to frown upon it. <--- getting the lay of the land before barging in. P.S. If I'm wrong, would someone *please* be kind enough to tell me so I don't look like an idiot? Thanks

04-24-2011, 09:23 PM	#17
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	It's been a long time since I've posted.... You mean the world to me... This is all so complicated.... I just want to be home.....

04-25-2011, 01:44 AM	#18
Andrew, Jr. Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Unavailable Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Over the Rainbow in a House Posts: 5,072 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,004 Thanked 5,249 Times in 2,216 Posts Rep Power: 0	My random thoughts: * I have really enjoyed this new show on OWN called "Addicted to Food" at the Shades of Hope Treatment Center. Brave souls. Dino is a bed hog, and he snores louder and louder it seems. I am wondering why my head is just hurting so badly?

04-25-2011, 04:05 PM	#19
Jedi Member How Do You Identify?: Butch Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: they are my world Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In a galaxy far, far away Posts: 959 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,002 Thanked 1,763 Times in 549 Posts Rep Power: 12678952	is this really goodbye? why is it always so hard? why do you have to be so difficult? makes me cry....and long.....and wonder what could have been......what should have been.......all because life isn't the way you want it.

03-02-2013, 11:05 PM	#20
Hollylane Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: . Preferred Pronoun?: . Relationship Status: . Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: . Posts: 11,495 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34,694 Thanked 26,373 Times in 5,877 Posts Rep Power: 21474860	Gaige and I are pondering who gets to decide which of the geese leads the flock in a V formation...