11-17-2011, 10:34 AM | #1 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
still ballin' Relationship Status:
Triple X Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: west side
Posts: 2,544
Thanks: 5,716
Thanked 6,497 Times in 1,639 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
Horrible Holiday Dishes!!!!
Hello friends, frenemies, and other assorted sundries. As some of you may know, I am a bit of a when it comes to holidays. They take up too much time, expand my waistline, cause family fights, cost too much, the list goes on and on!
That being said, I do participate in most of them mostly due to the fact that I can be a spineless pushover who can't say no. So with that in mind I would like to give all of you an opportunity to post your worst holiday food experiences. Does Aunt Millie always make that gloppy green bean casserole no one can stand (yet no one tells her how gross it is so she brings year after year)......what about the upside down jello thing your sister makes that tastes putrid.....does your mother-in-law burn everything so it's beyond recognition but insists on saying "it's just a little crispy"?? How about the horrible brick-hard fruit cakes your girl makes every year and gives them out as "gifts" aka door stops..... Post your horror stories here please, I'm dying to know I'm not the only one about to suffer as we approach Thanksgiving and the other holidays. I do a lot of the cooking now just so I won't be subjected to things I can't stomach, but my sister who is a horrible cook, will bring something (?) to share, at least now she will admit cooking not her strong suit. My mother has dropped (and served us) a turkey that fell on the floor! TRUE! Ahh the holidays. So many good times!!!
__________________
|
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Queerasfck For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 10:53 AM | #2 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
bloke Preferred Pronoun?:
He Relationship Status:
Happy is the heart that believes in angels Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Land of Milk and Honey
Posts: 884
Thanks: 1,920
Thanked 2,067 Times in 584 Posts
Rep Power: 21474850 |
|
The Following 16 Users Say Thank You to kannon For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 10:55 AM | #3 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6,100
Thanks: 29,380
Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
My mom's family comes down the weekend prior to Thanksgiving and they have their feast then. Of course, i work weekends so i never get to attend. This is a blessing to me honestly. All those women in the kitchen cooking, kids everywhere, it's hot in her house and it truly makes me smile that i simply "cannot be there" due to work.
Usually what i do is head over there after work and dig in the fridge for anything i see appetizing. There are some very strange things. But, one thing stands out to me. My Aunt Billy makes this dish every single year...it is jello, cottage cheese, fruit, and not sure what else is in it, i just call it Jello Shyt. It has always amused her that i call it that and she is always asking me to try it. Ummm. no. However, last year, i folded, i did try it, finally. I hate to say it...but DANG IT WAS GOOD. I talked to her a few days ago and made sure she is making it again this year. I'm thinking not many try it cause there is always a lot left when i finally end up over there. It looks awful. Good. Saves more for me!!!!! So really i have it pretty good. I work and don't have to deal with the "family" and still get to raid the fridge.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to princessbelle For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:01 AM | #4 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
BadAss! / Sarcastic Bastard! Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Earth
Posts: 2,352
Thanks: 3,507
Thanked 6,924 Times in 1,817 Posts
Rep Power: 21474851 |
But, one thing stands out to me. My Aunt Billy makes this dish every single year...it is jello, cottage cheese, fruit, and not sure what else is in it, i just call it Jello Shyt. It has always amused her that i call it that and she is always asking me to try it. Ummm. no.
What is it about Jello that people have to add strange things to it? My mom used to make green Jello with shredded cabbage and carrots in it......NASTY!
__________________
Tell me I can't do it.. then stand back and watch me amaze you. |
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Inked_Trinity For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:04 AM | #5 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
JAGG Relationship Status:
=) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tulsa (cat free zone)
Posts: 6,093
Thanks: 18,651
Thanked 17,545 Times in 4,142 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
Oh I have a good story. My dad always cooked the big Sunday and holiday meals. He was a great chef BTW. I was about 8yrs old or so, and was tasked with helping him. As instructed, I opened the can of cranberry sauce and put it on a plate. But there was some thing embedded in the sauce. So my dad pulled it out and it was a 1 inch long top part of a man's thumb . Minus the nail. My dad told me to toss it all in the trash and don't breath a word of it to anyone, because it would upset my grandmother too much.
__________________
I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without. |
The Following 20 Users Say Thank You to JAGG For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:13 AM | #6 |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,871 Times in 7,835 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
I do most of the cooking for my family during the holidays but one of my mean aunts is always on some weird diet and tends to bring things that are made with lots of artificial sweetener or oddly-made dishes inspired to keep everyone skinny.
One year, she brought a pumpkin pie made with pureed cauliflauer mixed with pumpkin sweetened with sweet and low and housed in a pork rind crust. Not. Kidding.
__________________
. . . |
The Following 23 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:17 AM | #7 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer femme Preferred Pronoun?:
her/she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 427
Thanks: 1,848
Thanked 1,941 Times in 376 Posts
Rep Power: 17615391 |
I honestly thought this thread was going to be about the number of dishes you need to wash after the holidays are over.
One year, a family friend of ours joined us for Thanksgiving dinner, and insisted on bring the stuffing, which is my favorite Thanksgiving dish...and she added oysters. To the stuffing. I wanted to die. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to ruby_woo For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:19 AM | #8 | |
Mentally Delicious
How Do You Identify?:
Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10,446
Thanks: 5,995
Thanked 42,871 Times in 7,835 Posts
Rep Power: 21474861 |
Quote:
Yeah, WTF is that about? I have a cousin who does that and swears by it. *shiver*
__________________
. . . |
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Medusa For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:24 AM | #9 | ||
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Relationship Status:
I need ya boo, gotta see ya boo Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Big Money Texas
Posts: 4,708
Thanks: 24,309
Thanked 13,087 Times in 3,051 Posts
Rep Power: 21474855 |
Quote:
Quote:
A lot of folks do that here, too! Ugh, keep the oysters outta my dressing! *reminds myself to keep some Stove Top in the cabinet just in case* |
||
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to PinkieLee For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:31 AM | #10 |
Senior Member
How Do You Identify?:
Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
m'lady Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NJ
Posts: 2,000
Thanks: 1,834
Thanked 6,231 Times in 1,462 Posts
Rep Power: 21474853 |
This isn't about an "ick" dish...more like a minor disaster. My mom worked nights for years when I was growing up. We have a big extended family and we would all gather at one or the others' house for a holiday. My parents chose to have Thanksgiving at our house. Because my mom was exhausted come Thanksgiving morning, I usually did the cooking. This one year we were having about 20 people to dinner, so I got up early, put the turkey in the oven (it was HUGE), and spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon getting everything else ready. When the turkey was just about done, my dad decided he needed to "take a look at it". He opened the oven and pulled out the rack...but when he pushed the turkey back in, he pushed the PAN that the turkey was in, not the rack. The rack tipped, spilling grease into the back of the oven, resulting in a huge grease fire. I had to take the turkey next door to my aunt's house (thankfully she lived close), and put it in her oven, wait until our oven cooled off, and then clean out burned on turkey grease.
Fun Fun Fun....gotta love the holidays.
__________________
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there ~ Rumi |
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to always2late For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:47 AM | #11 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
Bitchy, Self Sufficient, High Femme Preferred Pronoun?:
Mizz (Bitch) Relationship Status:
Not LOOKING Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 362
Thanks: 158
Thanked 515 Times in 156 Posts
Rep Power: 5207566 |
Nastiness.................
Ok I gotta say................what's up that NASTY green been casserole sheeeit???
(I will admit I have never ventured to even try it)
__________________
Sorry...................My Give A Damn Meter Is Broken I Am A Bitch, But I Ain't Yo Bitch http://i166.photobucket.com/albums/u.../ny/ny1303.gif |
The Following 12 Users Say Thank You to Miss July For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 11:49 AM | #12 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
I usually just poke it with a stick. Preferred Pronoun?:
Bitch Relationship Status:
Intertwined deeply Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: We're all a little mad here.
Posts: 6,627
Thanks: 10,972
Thanked 21,385 Times in 4,808 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
I have one of those weird aunts who (despite being told EVERY year that she doesn't need to bring ANYTHING) always brings something....different. I think one year it was pretty much a plate that looked like it had grass on it. (No clue what that was.) Then one year she attempted to make her own tofu and hummus "turkey". (Once again, not quite sure if that's what it was supposed to be.) This is a lady who does not cook AT ALL throughout the year, but always seems to bring these weird things to every holiday get together. I remember a time when we used to all get a little of it and try it, to be nice. After years of folks gagging and throwing up, I think she is now used to the fact that her stuff stays in its container on a small table in a room by itself. Even she won't eat it, despite swearing it's "the best thing I've ever made!" lol
Despite the fact that my family is very southern and wants the very southern traditional holiday meal, I have no problem with the fact that she is attempting to bring us healthier things and expose us to newer things we may not have tried on our own elsewhere. It's the fact that she has no culinary skills whatsoever, and can't bring her own self to eat it either...lol That being said...now we'll see if the same thing happens to me, since I am attempting a new cinnamon glazed pumpkin loaf recipe next week. Mine may be sitting right beside hers in that little room...LOL |
The Following 18 Users Say Thank You to dixie For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 12:09 PM | #13 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
her Relationship Status:
I am the treat to your trick Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Florida
Posts: 129
Thanks: 265
Thanked 883 Times in 93 Posts
Rep Power: 9521534 |
Ok I must admit the worst holiday dish I ever had was made by me. Yup I messed it up big time. LMAO
I was trying to please everyone who was coming for dinner and usually I only make a huge turkey that looks perfect and tastes better than it looks. However this one year people wanted a ham. WTF the pilgrims did not eat ham but okay fine I can handle a ham in this mix too. I was so proud of myself got the perfect looking ham took the wrapper off put the pineapples on it and all that held in place by a tooth pick just like the cook book said. Well the funny thing is nobody told me that a ham is double wrapped. I cooked it and it didn't smell as I thought it should. The timer went off as I was talking on the phone with my mom who could not make the trip to Florida. I pulled it out and tried to cut it. I asked my mom if ham skin is really that think I can't even cut this thing. She then asked if I took the inner wrapper off the ham. OH MY GOSH her and I busted out laughing so hard. I slipped my knife under the edge of the plastic and sure enough I had cooked the ham in plastic. I excused myself and ran to the grocery store and purchased an already cooked ham from the deli and passed it off as my own. I never agreed to cook another ham after that. So yes the worst dish in my memory is the ham that was baked in the wrapper
__________________
Always remember, tomorrow is another chance for a great day. |
The Following 19 Users Say Thank You to ReDo For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 12:53 PM | #14 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
Butch Preferred Pronoun?:
JAGG Relationship Status:
=) Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tulsa (cat free zone)
Posts: 6,093
Thanks: 18,651
Thanked 17,545 Times in 4,142 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
No kidding! I think that was taken out of a cook book called " 1001 ways to ruin a good veggie" it was on the same page as the yams with brown sugar, raisins and marshmallows .
__________________
I don't want to spend my life with someone I can live with, I want to spend my life with someone I can't live without. |
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to JAGG For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 01:09 PM | #15 |
Timed Out
How Do You Identify?:
Asshole Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Kentucky/Austin/Wherever
Posts: 2,310
Thanks: 6,387
Thanked 5,470 Times in 1,827 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
well one yr my sister called herself trying to impress some dude, so she made some baked Ziti.. she thinks its her best dish *rolls eyes*... well she had us comeover as a dinner party on christmas eve and as we began to eat, I noticed it was real crunchy!! wtf its not supposed to be crunchy?.. I know something is wrong because when she cooks if you dont find her hair or somfin its a good dish lol.. I pull out glass from my mouth its bleeding and all.. and my sister is giving me the stank eye.. like "dont say shit Ri!" kinda thing.. but I was scared to keep eating.. I did SMH.
when it was over I was like WTF April and she said I dropped the dish on the floor when I took it out of the oven.. so not only was I eating glass.. it was dirty glass off the floor and so was the ziti.. its not right I tell ya.. |
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to luv2luvgirls For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 01:13 PM | #16 | |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,587
Thanks: 182,179
Thanked 108,773 Times in 25,659 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
Quote:
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 01:20 PM | #17 |
Member
How Do You Identify?:
queer femme Preferred Pronoun?:
her/she Relationship Status:
single Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 427
Thanks: 1,848
Thanked 1,941 Times in 376 Posts
Rep Power: 17615391 |
|
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to ruby_woo For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 01:32 PM | #18 |
Infamous Member
How Do You Identify?:
femme Preferred Pronoun?:
femme ones Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6,100
Thanks: 29,380
Thanked 30,503 Times in 5,201 Posts
Rep Power: 21474857 |
It's good isn't it? BUT omg it looks horrible. Took me years to get up the nerve to taste it.
__________________
~ I've learned that people will forget what you said,
people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. ~ Maya Angelou |
11-17-2011, 01:36 PM | #19 |
Practically Lives Here
How Do You Identify?:
Queer Stone Femme Girl of the Unicorn Variety Preferred Pronoun?:
She, as in 'She's a GEM' Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The roads are narrow here
Posts: 36,587
Thanks: 182,179
Thanked 108,773 Times in 25,659 Posts
Rep Power: 21474887 |
I'm a garbage compactor during the holidays. I'll try anything once because, if I don't like it, it's highly likely I won't even see the dish again until next year.
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Gemme For This Useful Post: |
11-17-2011, 01:57 PM | #20 |
Timed Out - TOS Drama
How Do You Identify?:
... Preferred Pronoun?:
... Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: ...
Posts: 6,573
Thanks: 30,737
Thanked 22,958 Times in 5,020 Posts
Rep Power: 0 |
For more years than I can count we had Thanksgiving at one of my Aunt's houses, or at her Daughter-in-laws home. No one else was allowed to have the meal...and for probably 15 years the food was so bad we had to go home and have something to eat because the food was inedible or not enough for 30 plus people.
So we got smart...before my Mom passed away we would just say she was tired out and we had to leave...we would then go home and have our Thanksgiving, or we would go to a restuarant and have a good meal. THIS year the meal is finally going to be at my Sister's house...good food ahead!!! Only...now we eat Vegan with no oil....sigh. I think God is getting me back for all the times I complained about uncooked/overcooked not enough/way too much gross food! |
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to MsTinkerbelly For This Useful Post: |
|
|