If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently? - Page 3

imperfect_cupcake · 07-21-2010, 09:20 AM

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come

Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

Scorp · 07-21-2010, 09:26 AM

Hey HB, LTNS...Hope you've been well.

And nope, you understood the question perfectly.

Thanks for your response.

Be well darlin'

-S

Quote:

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me.

I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough.

I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live."

I *could* say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be *radically* different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back."

I don't really think I *want* to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come

Whoop!

I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there.

Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well.

The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done).

Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap.

I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things.

No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that.

Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

Jet · 08-05-2010, 02:53 PM

There's a book I never should have read.

Dean Thoreau · 08-05-2010, 03:16 PM

all those if only i had, i wish i had, i should have, i should not have's......

.......perhaps i should have used some super glue on my lifes trail......

A few children taught me it is best to do..and not regret, or second guess, if it does not turn out right, or if you say the wrong thing...or do something kinda selfish or stupid from time to time...it is ok......you do the best u can and if u screw up well that just makes u more lovable....

So after 58 years I simply pull the cork from the wine, and put on Edith Piaf and sing "NO Regrets"....

feel free to join me.

Julie · 08-05-2010, 03:25 PM

Simply... Pay closer attention.

Dutch Leonard · 08-05-2010, 07:08 PM

I wish I made a play for Lianne in college and I wish I bought NT05's this summer.

suebee · 08-05-2010, 07:11 PM

I would have ignored everyone's advice and adopted that foster child I worked with. But then again, I surely wouldn't be here now. So NO regrets!

Deborah · 08-20-2010, 02:25 PM

Trusted my instincts and taken better care of me and not so many others....

Soft*Silver · 08-20-2010, 02:27 PM

I would not have picked the flower that held the angry bumblebee ....

lipstixgal · 08-20-2010, 04:05 PM

I would have had the internship changed earlier then August, now I have to ask for an extension which delays me in moving to Florida in October!!

AtLast · 08-20-2010, 04:26 PM

Never started to smoke cigarettes! Quitting is a bitch and I have lost track of how many attempts I have made!

Most other things have just been the usual trials of living and I really have no regrets there.

Be gentle with yourself, we all find our way.

Rockinonahigh · 08-20-2010, 06:31 PM

Ciggys..the bitch.Oh heck have I been down that slipry slope.I started at 14 cause it was cool....quit for 10yrs then at 50 outta the blue liltup and the thing was like it never stoped..In January 2010 I quit again~~~~fell off the wagon for the last couple months but am back on the wagon after adjusting my head as to why I nedded a smoke in the first place.I now take it like AA..one day at a time works good that way ause every day I dont smoke is a day I win and am stronger.

Corkey · 08-20-2010, 06:47 PM

If I changed anything I would not be here now where I am with the love of my life and knowing everything works out the way it is supposed to. Come hell or high water.

Laerkin · 08-20-2010, 06:58 PM

In all honesty, I wouldn't change a thing because all my fumbles have led me here and I'm very happy.

Of course, looking back there are a few things I could have done better:

- I would have lost my V card to that UBER hottie in high school and had the most insane bragging rights ever. Lol

- I would have spent more time learning from my grandparents and listening to their Stories. Too late I found out how interesting their journeys were.

- And maybe I could have spent a little more time putting myself first every once in awhile.

But no regrets. Just musings.

turasultana · 08-20-2010, 09:01 PM

would have bought that damn one bedroom duplex on Norfolk street for 70K 15 years ago. its worth half a million now. dammit.

miss entycing · 08-20-2010, 09:11 PM

I woulda said yes yesterday when SD would have come kidnapped me to go to to the reunion- had I of known that Damon would have let me go alone!
dammmmiiitttttttttt

now where's that damn turn back button??????????????

sweetfemme247 · 08-20-2010, 09:13 PM

I would of never said hello to that person who hurt me so many times in my life

Leigh · 08-20-2010, 09:31 PM

I would have graduated when I was supposed to, not seven years later and I would have kept a job long enough to move out and actually have a life ............ but even with that said, I know that I wasn't ready back then to do any of that so things happened for a reason and I accept it now!

T D · 08-20-2010, 09:34 PM

I would NOT have gotten involved in poly relationships

AND

I would NOT have left that relationship 12 years ago... Hindsight is an interesting thing at the very least!!

What's done is done, but the repercussion from our actions sometimes last a lifetime.

Passionaria · 08-20-2010, 09:37 PM

I would be true to myself, to my inner knowing. Every time I have not, I have gotten hurt.

I have trusted unwisely. When I see the warning signs, of people who's behavior is hurtful, I would keep walking and never look back, rather than giving them a chance.....

I acknowledge responsibility for my choices, even though at times I have hurt myself. Given a second chance I would do better.

Our self worth, and how we share the beauty of our soul, is all we really own in this life. And it's worth a lot.

08-05-2010, 03:16 PM	#44
Dean Thoreau Member How Do You Identify?: Ftm - Male- exfemale Preferred Pronoun?: He’s Him Relationship Status: Has a gf Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Philadelphia pa Posts: 889 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 251 Thanked 759 Times in 219 Posts Rep Power: 4529748	all those if only i had, i wish i had, i should have, i should not have's...... .......perhaps i should have used some super glue on my lifes trail...... A few children taught me it is best to do..and not regret, or second guess, if it does not turn out right, or if you say the wrong thing...or do something kinda selfish or stupid from time to time...it is ok......you do the best u can and if u screw up well that just makes u more lovable.... So after 58 years I simply pull the cork from the wine, and put on Edith Piaf and sing "NO Regrets".... feel free to join me. __________________ Dean Thoreau

08-05-2010, 03:25 PM	#45
Julie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Angel * Femme * Lesbian * Girl * Woman * Slut * Bitch * Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: No longer a Virgin Bride to Dreamer ~ May 17th, 2014 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: New York Posts: 4,674 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,676 Thanked 18,160 Times in 3,633 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Simply... Pay closer attention. __________________ “Sometimes only one person is missing and the whole world seems depopulated.” ~ Alphonse de Lamartine - 1790-1869 http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/o...ps4d9fb6c0.jpg I Love You ~ I Love Us May 17, 2014

08-05-2010, 07:11 PM	#47
suebee Member How Do You Identify?: TOWANDA! Preferred Pronoun?: Queen Bee Relationship Status: Good 'n married. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Eastern Canada. But if I make a wrong turn at the lights I get stopped by a border guard. Posts: 1,499 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,355 Thanked 2,759 Times in 820 Posts Rep Power: 16450091	*I would have ignored everyone's advice and adopted that foster child I worked with. But then again, I surely wouldn't be here now. So NO regrets!* __________________ "Compassion, in which all ethics must take root, can only attain its full breadth and depth if it embraces all living creatures and does not limit itself to mankind." -Albert Schweitzer

08-20-2010, 02:25 PM	#48
Deborah Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme Preferred Pronoun?: Babydoll is a start.... Relationship Status: Mrs. Livingston 4/20/2013 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville where my heart belongs... Posts: 611 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,451 Thanked 1,454 Times in 276 Posts Rep Power: 14676214	Trusted my instincts and taken better care of me and not so many others.... __________________ "Slow to trust but I'm quick to love, I push too hard and I give too much, I aint saying I'm perfect, but I promise I'm worth it" "The Good Within Me Honors The Good Within You"

08-20-2010, 02:27 PM	#49
SoftSilver Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: rose cottage Posts: 5,503 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,432 Thanked 15,622 Times in 3,976 Posts Rep Power*: 21474856	*I would not have picked the flower that held the angry bumblebee ....* __________________ Pole bachit, a lis chuye. The field sees, the forest hears

07-21-2010, 09:20 AM	#41
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	this is a difficult question as I don't personally believe in regrets. If I honestly love who I am, I must the process of how I became me. I honestly, hand over heart, have not regretted anything I ever did. I've been deeply sorry and realised my stupidity but I don't think I've done anything scarring enough. I'd say "I wish I had been smarter about men and how they would take sexual advantage (rape); I wish I had told my parents about the abuse; I wish I had gone back to school earlier and I wish I had taken any of those job offers or offers to study at Berkley or in Madagascar; I wish I had gone to Guatemala right away instead of waiting for confirmation that never came for the job with the researchers (I found out later they had been waiting for me); I wish I had taken the job I was offered in Panama; I wish I had gone ahead with the position at the London Zoo instead of letting it go because it was minimum wage and just figured out a way to live." I could say any of these things. But if I had changed just ONE of them my life would be radically different than it is now. And I've done amazing things, met fabulous people, lived/traveled to spectacular places and have a relationship with someone who gets me to the point I think this must be some "oops. sorry we screwed up the delivery of your life. Perhaps you've like a voucher for 'Best Soul Match Possible' as you are a valued customer and we want you coming back." I don't really think I want to change anything. I'm fucked off about my career, yes. deeply. But I really think the rest of my life has been mind blowing so far. And There's more adventure to come Whoop! I'm trying to fix that career problem. It's taking far longer than expected, but eventually, I'll get there. Maybe I can work for some of my dad's students when I graduate (again...). The debt I'll have will be passed on through generations, but oh well. The best thing to remember, and it's utterly true, is: You won't regret the things you have done, you'll regret the things you haven't done (AKA it's better to regret the things you have done than to regret the things you haven't done). Don't stop yourself, go get it. even if you will be dirt poor, lose your sense of security, leave your family and friends, you only get this one tiny tiny short life. that's it. So go. And when ever possible, give most of your shit away. there will always be more crap. I may have given away a 1940's hardwood vanity with giganto circular mirror with a brocade covered stool with a drawer in it. But at the moment I'm using a cloth covered box, a folding wooden tv table with an apple crate on it and a little plug in light mirror. It works good enough. WTF would I do with good furniture? I move around too much. I need the money for other things. No. I would be too freaked out about if I had done anything differently. perhaps I should let my mom and dad know how much I love them a bit more before I wish I had done that. Perhaps I'm not understanding the question?

08-05-2010, 02:53 PM	#43
Jet Timed Out - TOS Drama How Do You Identify?: .. Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: .. Posts: 3,471 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 292 Thanked 2,646 Times in 1,293 Posts Rep Power: 0	There's a book I never should have read.

08-05-2010, 07:08 PM	#46
Dutch Leonard Member How Do You Identify?: Stone Butch Tournaments Won: 7 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: East of the Rockies Posts: 291 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,901 Thanked 389 Times in 120 Posts Rep Power: 4100777	I wish I made a play for Lianne in college and I wish I bought NT05's this summer.

08-20-2010, 04:05 PM	#50
lipstixgal Senior Member How Do You Identify?: femme Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: coupled Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,028 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 201 Thanked 1,690 Times in 1,064 Posts Rep Power: 1494760	I would have had the internship changed earlier then August, now I have to ask for an extension which delays me in moving to Florida in October!!

08-20-2010, 04:26 PM	#51
AtLast Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: HER - SHE Relationship Status: Relating Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: CA & AZ I'm a Snowbird Posts: 5,408 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,826 Thanked 10,830 Times in 3,200 Posts Rep Power: 21474856	Never started to smoke cigarettes! Quitting is a bitch and I have lost track of how many attempts I have made! Most other things have just been the usual trials of living and I really have no regrets there. Be gentle with yourself, we all find our way.

08-20-2010, 06:31 PM	#52
Rockinonahigh Senior Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: makes no diffrence,I know who I am. Relationship Status: single,maybe looking if the right person comes along. Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: shreveport,Louisiana Posts: 4,907 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 4,682 Thanked 14,937 Times in 3,936 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Ciggys..the bitch.Oh heck have I been down that slipry slope.I started at 14 cause it was cool....quit for 10yrs then at 50 outta the blue liltup and the thing was like it never stoped..In January 2010 I quit again~~~~fell off the wagon for the last couple months but am back on the wagon after adjusting my head as to why I nedded a smoke in the first place.I now take it like AA..one day at a time works good that way ause every day I dont smoke is a day I win and am stronger.

08-20-2010, 06:47 PM	#53
Corkey Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Human Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: Very Married Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Where I want to be Posts: 8,155 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 47,491 Thanked 29,299 Times in 6,640 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	If I changed anything I would not be here now where I am with the love of my life and knowing everything works out the way it is supposed to. Come hell or high water. __________________ "Many proposals have been made to us to adopt your laws, your religion, your manners and your customs. We would be better pleased with beholding the good effects of these doctrines in your own practices, than with hearing you talk about them". ~Old Tassel, Chief of the Tsalagi (Cherokee)

08-20-2010, 06:58 PM	#54
Laerkin Member How Do You Identify?: Girlie with a touch of bossy Preferred Pronoun?: She, but not hung up on the details Relationship Status: Parenting our furry family with SmoothButch Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Washington DC Posts: 385 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 772 Thanked 963 Times in 257 Posts Rep Power: 4366970	In all honesty, I wouldn't change a thing because all my fumbles have led me here and I'm very happy. Of course, looking back there are a few things I could have done better: - I would have lost my V card to that UBER hottie in high school and had the most insane bragging rights ever. Lol - I would have spent more time learning from my grandparents and listening to their Stories. Too late I found out how interesting their journeys were. - And maybe I could have spent a little more time putting myself first every once in awhile. But no regrets. Just musings.

08-20-2010, 09:01 PM	#55
turasultana Member How Do You Identify?: Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: spoken for Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: brooklyn Posts: 432 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 226 Thanked 715 Times in 250 Posts Rep Power: 2043784	would have bought that damn one bedroom duplex on Norfolk street for 70K 15 years ago. its worth half a million now. dammit.

08-20-2010, 09:11 PM	#56
miss entycing Senior Member How Do You Identify?: dangerous, but worth the risk. Preferred Pronoun?: just be nice.. it's that easy. Relationship Status: CapitalM's carved upon my skin. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: on the southern edge of sanity, under a carolina moon. Posts: 3,276 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 8,341 Thanked 8,262 Times in 2,255 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I woulda said yes yesterday when SD would have come kidnapped me to go to to the reunion- had I of known that Damon would have let me go alone! dammmmiiitttttttttt now where's that damn turn back button?????????????? __________________ True strength lies in submission which permits one to dedicate their life, through devotion, to something beyond themselves. Whenever someone awakens fully, it affects human consciousness at a collective level. It is like dropping a stone into a dark murky pond. Ripples of light... Not one word need be spoken.

08-20-2010, 09:13 PM	#57
sweetfemme247 Member How Do You Identify?: fem Preferred Pronoun?: femme, she, her, baby, sweetie Relationship Status: holding my heart close and putting back up a wall Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: california, palm springs Posts: 994 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 206 Thanked 719 Times in 350 Posts Rep Power: 4115670	I would of never said hello to that person who hurt me so many times in my life __________________ Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

08-20-2010, 09:31 PM	#58
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,026 Times in 4,786 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	I would have graduated when I was supposed to, not seven years later and I would have kept a job long enough to move out and actually have a life ............ but even with that said, I know that I wasn't ready back then to do any of that so things happened for a reason and I accept it now!

08-20-2010, 09:34 PM	#59
T D Member How Do You Identify?: Person of the trans variety Preferred Pronoun?: He, Sir, Bro, TD, Stevin Relationship Status: On occasion Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SF Bay Area Posts: 1,165 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,428 Thanked 1,123 Times in 310 Posts Rep Power: 3570338	I would NOT have gotten involved in poly relationships AND I would NOT have left that relationship 12 years ago... Hindsight is an interesting thing at the very least!! What's done is done, but the repercussion from our actions sometimes last a lifetime. __________________ “Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

08-20-2010, 09:37 PM	#60
Passionaria Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Urban Bohemian : http://youtu.be/IM96Ch9Gx4A Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: She ran away with with the Gypsy's ✿ Posts: 2,519 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 5,316 Thanked 3,736 Times in 1,250 Posts Rep Power: 16689909	If You Could Turn Back Time, What Would You Do Differently? I would be true to myself, to my inner knowing. Every time I have not, I have gotten hurt. I have trusted unwisely. When I see the warning signs, of people who's behavior is hurtful, I would keep walking and never look back, rather than giving them a chance..... I acknowledge responsibility for my choices, even though at times I have hurt myself. Given a second chance I would do better. Our self worth, and how we share the beauty of our soul, is all we really own in this life. And it's worth a lot. __________________ *Moon cat madness*