Femmes: How do you like to be treated on a date?

[imperfect_cupcake]

And can I just say, I've re-read my post and I'm waiting for Daktari to come in and say something about my freaky tits.


Ha you dirty bugger. Scooped you!

[The_Lady_Snow]

I think Dolly Dyke is lovely and so divine! I can almost taste it~

[imperfect_cupcake]

You know, Snows, I'm kind of tempted to make EVERYONE call me Dame Freaky Tits. The whole thing. They can't shorten it to DFT. They have to say the word tits. To a girl. And call them freaky.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

You know, Snows, I'm kind of tempted to make EVERYONE call me Dame Freaky Tits. The whole thing. They can't shorten it to DFT. They have to say the word tits. To a girl. And call them freaky.

I support your temptations and your tits!

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

And can I just say, I've re-read my post and I'm waiting for Daktari to come in and say something about my freaky tits.


Ha you dirty bugger. Scooped you!

Who moi? I'm sure you must have me mixed up with someone else!

[imperfect_cupcake]

Now that I've fully windbagged myself out with belly ranting... I have no retort.

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Now that I've fully windbagged myself out with belly ranting... I have no retort.

ps. Apologies for stepping into a femme zone thread. My excuse is that is was just too irresistable

[fatallyblonde]

wow I wish some of you were nearby to take me on a date!

I don't think it takes money, although I certainly appreciate that gesture when it is shown. For me it is way more important that my Butch date is showered, dressed nice and pays attention to me, just as I will be for hyr... I put lots of efforts into being beautiful on dates... I would hope my Butch date would too... I enjoy if my Butch enjoys feeling proud to have me on hyr arm and show me off a little... it makes me feel good. But of course I don't want to be treated just like arm candy... I want to know my Butch respects my mind too cos I have a quick and fierce one...
I am old fashioned... I want doors and chairs held for me... I want to feel protected... but a date doesn't have to be fancy. It's more important to me to be treated well and have some great, fun conversation... if you're strapped for cash, take me to a beautiful park and let's sit down on a rug and enjoy watching the world go by... if you offer to rub my feet or shoulders that is about the best kind of moment a date could have lol! Just show me that you care, that you have put in effort and that you think I am all that. I am all about old school Butch/femme dynamics but that doesn't have to be all about spending heaps of money! The little things... pomaded hair, snappy dressing, beautiful manners... those are the most important things to make a girl feel good and appreciated.

[fatallyblonde]

right on honeybarbara, femme is so many things and manifests in so many ways and all are legit. thanks for saying it so tough!

[Martina]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

Saying "I'm a lady" does not shock, does not challenge and does not make people think. It just looks like I'm buying in to the hierarchical pretence of privileged behaviour. Telling people "I'm not lady" is what challenges them to think about it.

Good point.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

If someone wants me to play Lady to their abused Lady's Maid, sure.

*gulp* and *fans self*

[bokster]

I like this thread! Can I hang out here?

[silkepus]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

And can I just say, I've re-read my post and I'm waiting for Daktari to come in and say something about my freaky tits.


Ha you dirty bugger. Scooped you!

Wish I had freaky tits. Unfortunately my tits are well behaved and polite with wholesome interests *sigh* typical my luck.

[imperfect_cupcake]

I'd much rather have wholesome anything. I might get a date

[silkepus]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I'd much rather have wholesome anything. I might get a date

Trust me, wholesomness will not get you any dates, I can vouch for that!

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by honeybarbara

I'd much rather have wholesome anything. I might get a date

Originally Posted by silkepus

Trust me, wholesomness will not get you any dates, I can vouch for that!

They are both tasty.

<--- likes the all-in-one variety

[morningstar55]

like a lady

[imperfect_cupcake]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

They are both tasty.

<--- likes the all-in-one variety

to be honest, I don't even know what wholesome actually means. As far as I understand, wholesome = whole wheat bread and home baked.

[tiaras-and-books]

I haven't dated very much, but for me I like some of the old fashioned stuff, like doors being held open for me. It's just nice. I like, too, when I can tell that the date is a little bit of a special occasion for both of us. It doesn't have to be anything fancy, but just that someone bothered to look a little extra nice, similar little things, makes me feel a little special.

Personally, I'm broke a whole lot of the time, so I definitely don't mind doing free/inexpensive stuff on dates. I usually plan to pay my own way on everything, unless for some reason it's really important to the other person to pay for the date, in which case I don't have a strong enough opinion on the subject for it to conflict. So inexpensive options make me happy. Mostly I think dates are for spending time with the other person, a getting-to-know-you time or kind of an arranged "let's focus on each other" time. One of my favorite dates for fun-factor was a picnic (the same stuff I was making for dinner anyway, just packed up) at the park with travel Scrabble. They have free concerts once a week all summer at that park, and that's a really nice date, too.

I will say, I've been picked up one or two times for dates when I had to spend five minutes clearing stuff off the passenger seat of their vehicle so that I would have a place to sit, or with the footspace all full of fast food cups and stuff. That I didn't like!

The last man I dated before I sorted out that I wasn't actually straight used to bring me little trinkets when he came to see me, which was kind of neat. Nothing fancy usually - a flower he'd picked on the way over, or a stuffed animal he'd won out of a claw machine. (He was remarkably good at those games, so it never cost him more than a dollar.) But nobody had ever done that, so it just felt incredibly sweet to me. He was a really good date in general - he just treated me beautifully. If I were any kind of straight I'd probably be married to him by now, the sweetheart.

Like I said before, I haven't dated a whole lot, so really I don't have a lot of experience to point me toward anything concrete. But basically what it boils down to is that I want to be treated respectfully and like I'm special to them, that our time together is special to them.

[Martina]

Originally Posted by tiaras-and-books

I will say, I've been picked up one or two times for dates when I had to spend five minutes clearing stuff off the passenger seat of their vehicle so that I would have a place to sit, or with the footspace all full of fast food cups and stuff. That I didn't like!

Lol. I have told this before, but it became a pet peeve. I have had folks pick me up and then go to the ATM and get gas, etc. I get it if you had a particularly busy day -- and you explain that -- or if you've been together a while. But for it to be early on in dating and for the person to not do all those things first . . . red flag. I am serious. DO NOT BORE ME. Kiss of death.

I was on a first date with a butch who had to make a stop for something work related. I waited for 45 minutes. I didn't have a book or anything because who knew? Then she talked about her ex. No second date.

I absolutely will not have my time wasted like that. To me that is so disrespectful. I don't do it to others, whether they are dates or friends or even acquaintances. If I am going to transport someone in my car, I have already put gas in the car and have gone to the ATM.

While I expect everyone to be clean, I don't even notice how people are dressed unless it's super sexy. I could not care less. My colleague said to me yesterday about a student who had just left, "If you had a daughter, would you let her walk out of the house like that?" Honestly, I couldn't even remember what the student had been wearing. I just don't care.

Edited to add: Oh and know how to get where you are going or have GPS or whatever. We can all get lost, but at least have written down the directions or something. I have had a couple of people not know how to get back on the interstate after we have gone somewhere new to both of us. I get lost easily, but I prepare. Anyway, things that are careless and cause me to be bored -- done and done. Maybe it's cruel, but I effing hate to be bored.