PTSD and Trauma recovery

[Apocalipstic]

I did not sleepm last night, am hoping tonight will be better.

I ended up watching a minute by minute recreation for the 24 hrs after JFK's death which was very educational, took the dog out at 3am, then watched the news which did put me to sleep for a couple of hours.

[Jet]

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by Jet

You know, there is a lot of anger in me. Anger that things happened, anger over everything i lost, anger that my life took a caustic and unexpected turn. I've broken glasses, lamps, kick in doors, walls and everything else that I'm ashamed of.

But here's the good news. I no longer blame God. Instead, I'm finally getting a grasp that it was/is awful, that I'm his child and that he cares very much that this "thing" happened. I carried trauma as though it belonged to me, and for so long that it became a gauge for normalcy. Can you imagine that when life is so bad for so long you adjust to the point that you think it's normal? That's when life and well being is truly lost or at least in jeopardy. That's when you become unrecognizable to yourself. Never let this happen, whatever you do, grab a hold of your identity, dignity, talents, your life and your worth. I let mine go. Never make that mistake because you'll risk never making it back.

Jet, remember every day can be a fresh new start!

You can say I work on ___________ just for today. It can be peace. It an be making a list of things that make you angry and eliminating some of them. It can be joy. But just for today, then it's not so overwhelming.

I will repeat myself.

Every day is a fresh new day, a fresh new start.

If you give up for a while, no big deal, just pick yourself up....just for today.

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by softness

I finally fell asleep at a decent hour and was up at 9 AM! Now lets see if I can do this two days in a row.

Melatonin...I have a friend who tried using it but it gave her hallucinations. She saw things move in the patterns of the wallpaper. Has anyone else experienced this or something like it on melatonin?

Ut, OH!!

I believe anything can happen even with a herbal product. Interactions with other medications, etc. This is why it is important to list all herbal supplements (including vitamins) along with prescriptions and OTC meds at the docs and when asking a pharmicist for advise. Herbal remedies are part of pharmacology.

I have not had any side effects with Melatonin, but certainly believe something like this could happen. Knowing what (if any) other kinds of meds your friend takes would be helpful.

[Apocalipstic]

Originally Posted by AtLastHome

Ut, OH!!

I believe anything can happen even with a herbal product. Interactions with other medications, etc. This is why it is important to list all herbal supplements (including vitamins) along with prescriptions and OTC meds at the docs and when asking a pharmicist for advise. Herbal remedies are part of pharmacology.

I have not had any side effects with Melatonin, but certainly believe something like this could happen. Knowing what (if any) other kinds of meds your friend takes would be helpful.

Another question is, did friend stop taking other medication to change to melatonin?

My hallucinations have been worst when stopping a medication.

[Leigh]

Hi everyone

I sometimes use melatonin, but for Me it doesn't interfere with My other meds thank goodness. I do find though that even on the nights that I do take something to help Me sleep, I'm often either tossing and turning or I just can't get to sleep!!!

[JustBeingMe]

A few years ago, I worked funky shifts while working for GoodYear Tire and Rubber company as a quality control technician. I would work nights, days, second shifts, splits, whatever they made me work. I tried taking melatonin to help me sleep but I had night terrors when I took it and I would waked up all the time on it. It wasn't that great at helping me to fall asleep and the only two meds I took where for blood pressure and high cholesterol. It didn't interfere with them either. SO my doctor back then, put me on ambien to help me sleep. It helped me get drowsy enough to fall asleep. If I didn't get at least 8 hrs of sleep using ambien, I would wake up feeling groggy. That was the only side effect I got taking ambien.
Just my experience, and everyone's is different.
My shrink just added Trazadone to my list of meds to take along with my ambien to help me Remain asleep because I am full of anxiety in my mind and can't shut it down to stay asleep once I fall asleep. I hope it works and doesn't make me feel like a zombie taking both together.
Ok, done here rattling on.
I hope everyone is having a better week.

[friskyfemme]

My favorite sleep aid is Benadryl. My brother who takes several psycotrophic has taken in for extended periods of time for sleep to my knowledge there isn't a med is contraindicated to take with it. My mom who is a heart patient also take Benadryl to sleep. I don't take meds myself and I usually meditate to relax for sleep but...

When I couldn't sleep while visiting my mom, I took one and it worked! The best thing is there is no drogginess the next morning. I was hooked on Benadryl (figuratively). I have also taken Melatonin but it didn't work for me.

[Rockinonahigh]

Today whats on my mind is my mutiple back surgerys that will come up before long,I dont like hospitals at all and the thought of giveing up so much of myself to have this done plus dealing with doctors that I often wnder if they have any feeling for what a paitent is going thrue.Then there is the recovery time to deal with,this really needs to be done but I still am uneasy about it.Why...well will it really help or will I be no better or godess forbid worse than before.Just how many my stress triggers will trip off.

[JustBeingMe]

Hang in there and lets say some prayers for you Rockin. I hope the surgery works best for you and relieves issues for you. I know its' not easy to do, but try to do things to keep your mind busy so you don't think about it so much. Goodluck with the surgery, keep us informed.
I wish you well.
Me.

[Rockinonahigh]

Hello Me...Tks for the good advice,funny thing at my last dr.s pointment the clinic doc..not the neuro said back opps were a waist of time and often didnt work...u really dont want to hear that when they are talking about its u they r going to be working on.I have done some reserch on other things that can be done othescopicly (sp?) and am really hopeing one of them will work.

[Apocalipstic]

Rockin, I am so sorry you have to have surgery! Being in the hospital totally freaks me out to, so I completely understand and will be thinking about you.

[Rockinonahigh]

apocaliptic...I spent a lot of my young years in and out of the hospital for onething or the other so I have a healthy respect and fear of them,I am hopeing this will work out so I can be out of or reduce the pain I have lived with in what seems like forever..justr eady for it to be over.

[JustBeingMe]

Today I slept for while for the first time. I slept for a few hours and it seemed to calm me down from my anxiety and over tiredness from lack of any sort of decent sleep without night terrors. The pain in my lower back from m L3 L4 and L5 discs has flared up pretty badly and nothing I do seems to help. I just have to rest it I guess, and today that is exactly what I did....NOTHING, just NOTHING and took a very very long nap this afternoon, a lot longer than the hour I wanted to take, but my cousin didn't wake me, she said I seemed really exhausted and so she left me to sleep. I am grateful for my cousin letting me sleep, I needed it to say the least. I hope all is well with everyone else. Back to work for many of you on Monday and I hope you all have a great week.

[tuffboi29]

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

Hey guys. It has been a while but I wanted to check in.
It has been recommended to me that I try EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing) therapy. I agreed to it because, well, anything is better than what I already deal with.
So, guys, please put me in your thoughts and prayers, and lets keep our fingers crossed. I will be sure to log on afterwards to let you know how the experience went and how I feel about it. Mostly to inform you all of what it intails.


(Worried as HELL by the way )

I have heard it works for some people. Nothing to fear though. I would like to know how it works for you, if you care to share. Blessings.

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by friskyfemme

I have heard it works for some people. Nothing to fear though. I would like to know how it works for you, if you care to share. Blessings.

Well, today was definitally an experience. We started with developing a "safe place"...it's kinda like something I can go to when/if I start to freak out. I have a very gentle and understanding therapist.
Next week we are goin to make sure I am comfortable with my "safe places" and then begin the actual therapy itself.
I understand it entails keeping my eyes consistantly moving, focused on an object while recounting past experiences.
The goal is to allow myself to go through these experiences and process the emotions without dissasociating myself from the emotions involved and finally begin to process them in a safe manner. To allow the brain to process and deal without overloading myself.
I will update you all further next week about the experience and every week as I progress into it.
And as a side note...I am now getting 5-8 hours of sleep a night and have been haing minimal night terrors.
I did this by taking a better look at my diet and adjusting it. Also I've been running myself half to death during the day doing anything I can to keep busy. It seems to be doing the trick for me.
Good luck to everyone. Your always in my thoughts and not too far from my heart. I hope this info can be of good use to someone out there. And thanks for all the words of encouragement. I really needed it today.
Goodnight all and take care.

[tuffboi29]

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Another question is, did friend stop taking other medication to change to melatonin?

My hallucinations have been worst when stopping a medication.

Hon you may not be hallucinating...you may be suffering from flashbacks.
Maybe have that looked into?
I thought i was hallucinating for years just to find out I was having flashbacks.
Just a suggestion, ok?

[friskyfemme]

Originally Posted by tuffboi29

Well, today was definitally an experience. We started with developing a "safe place"...it's kinda like something I can go to when/if I start to freak out. I have a very gentle and understanding therapist.
Next week we are goin to make sure I am comfortable with my "safe places" and then begin the actual therapy itself.
I understand it entails keeping my eyes consistantly moving, focused on an object while recounting past experiences.
The goal is to allow myself to go through these experiences and process the emotions without dissasociating myself from the emotions involved and finally begin to process them in a safe manner. To allow the brain to process and deal without overloading myself.
I will update you all further next week about the experience and every week as I progress into it.
And as a side note...I am now getting 5-8 hours of sleep a night and have been haing minimal night terrors.
I did this by taking a better look at my diet and adjusting it. Also I've been running myself half to death during the day doing anything I can to keep busy. It seems to be doing the trick for me.
Good luck to everyone. Your always in my thoughts and not too far from my heart. I hope this info can be of good use to someone out there. And thanks for all the words of encouragement. I really needed it today.
Goodnight all and take care.

That's for sharing your experience. Happy to hear you're sleeping better. Hoping your session will pove helpful as well.

[JinxdGirl]

PTSD is on my laundry list of brokenness. It affects my sleep more than anything else. The cause is simple, the same story so many have already shared, just a different girl. Just once I'd like to sleep through the whole night without waking up feeling as though I'm being suffocated. Just once I'd like to kiss someone deeply, passionately and not have flashbacks for the week + following said kiss. Just once I'd like to be less broken.