What attracts you to Ftms ......

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by Darbonaire

Do you carry that chip on your shoulder ALL the time...My God...so I guess compliments...even sincere seem to be "dismissing" to you?...LOL...wow, <making a note to myelf on that one> & since I believe I saw a post by the MOD back aways about getting BACK to the original theme & starting a seperate room for this discussion...well, pardon me..I thought we would be doing that....wrong again I guess...Y'all enjoy the discussing..I'll come back when it's back on point.

Um I thought you were a gentleman like the kind in the 50's? Your wording here doesn't read at all like you have manners....


Enjoy your day.

[Hominid]

Please don't speak to me like I am some dimwit that doesn't get what is what I believe I have explained what the issue is what seems like millions of times.

This assumption that Darbonaire was coming from a place of condescension is exactly the problem in this thread, and not just yours. Yes, you *feeling* that way matters a great deal. But it doesn't mean it's true. However, one cannot take this to task without also recognizing that the very complaint of some of the people who feel you have been harsh with them feel EXACTLY as you describe. They cannot find the single quote you ask for to prove that you have said something offensive. Darbonaire was not harsh - was simply explaining himself and trying valiantly to insert enough qualifiers to piss anyone off.

If you found this post offensive or irritating or condescending, you should understand very well why other's have felt the same about some of your posts.

I think the issue is multifaceted. And more than just Snow's. Even yours is convoluted and complex at this point.

I'm out, despite being on the periphery for most of it. I began by saying this is why I don't get involved. I've now reminded myself. This is the "Trans Zone" -
space IS needed for guys to be able to communicate honestly, even if they aren't feminists, even if they are struggling and getting things wrong while negotiating their way through incredibly physically, socially, and emotionally toxic waters. Femmes have their own issues but they will NEVER understand the steps along the way. Most are very compassionate and patient.

Basically, guys need their own space to be "assholes" (and I again re-assert that we are ALL assholes) and not be spoken to in the way that even Snow found condescending. So -in the next few days I or another member with whom I am talking will be setting up some kind of a space for this purpose. We need support, we are all not where we will be. We may be assholes, but we deserve the benefit of the doubt - especially in the "Trans Zone"

Hominid - human -humanist out. Feel free to pick out a phrase or a perceived tone or word and call me on the carpet now.

[Darbonaire]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Um I thought you were a gentleman like the kind in the 50's? Your wording here doesn't read at all like you have manners....


Enjoy your day.

Well snow....again...THAT was a specific put down...no moderator I see.....LOL...amazing....guess YOU have some moderator given right to trash or insult or be opinionated at others but we can't voice opinions ....wow....

[The_Lady_Snow]

Hominid, have you read the TOS?


Just because you (general) are guys/FTM's doesn't mean you get to come in here and be assholes. I have provided part of the TOS:

This is a female-owned website based on Feminist principles. Please consider that when posting.
Any sexist, racist, anti-woman, hate-speech, sizist or ageist postings are unwelcome here.


I am a Leather Woman, I have thoughts and ideas too, but what I don't get to do is come in here and take a shit on those who aren't. It's ridiculous to think that just because you are in a Zone that you can act like you wanna.


Also, how Darbonaire is speaking to me, is gross. I get enough shit from cis gender males out in real time, last thing I want is to be treated this way in my safe space. Maybe if I was more submissive you'd be nicer and see things differently.

[Darbonaire]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Hominid, have you read the TOS?


Just because you (general) are guys/FTM's doesn't mean you get to come in here and be assholes. I have provided part of the TOS:

This is a female-owned website based on Feminist principles. Please consider that when posting.
Any sexist, racist, anti-woman, hate-speech, sizist or ageist postings are unwelcome here.


I am a Leather Woman, I have thoughts and ideas too, but what I don't get to do is come in here and take a shit on those who aren't. It's ridiculous to think that just because you are in a Zone that you can act like you wanna.


Also, how Darbonaire is speaking to me, is gross. I get enough shit from cis gender males out in real time, last thing I want is to be treated this way in my safe space. Maybe if I was more submissive you'd be nicer and see things differently.

But you can "shit" on other's opinions ??? Woman space or not.....there was nothing anti-woman about any of my comments....."How Darbonaire is speaking to you," is polite & guardedly so...if that's 'gross" to you..that's on you & your interpertation not my delivery or intent.

[DMW]

How the hell do we start a new thread? I have been wanting to do that and don't know how? I mentioned it before and haven't found out or had time to forage for it.

So i ask...how can i start a new thread?

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by DMW

How the hell do we start a new thread? I have been wanting to do that and don't know how? I mentioned it before and haven't found out or had time to forage for it.

So i ask...how can i start a new thread?

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...171#post686171

[Medusa]

Alright DAMMIT.

This bullshit of trading licks back and forth and personal jabs better stop IMMEDIATELY.

And if you haven't reported any posts, don't sit there and complain about what the Mods are or are not doing.

This thread better get back on track immediately or we are going to shut it the fuck down. ALL further posts about the 50s dynamic or June Clever need to be taken to new threads or kept to yourself.

If I see one more person take a swipe in here or cry victim because "the Mods" aren't doing something, y'all are going to think it's Halloween because the time-outs will be passed out like candy.

If I sound pissed off, I am. It's yet another Sunday when people on the forums are going ape shit. STOP IT.

[BrutalDaddy]

Yo, guys.

Medusa spoke. Can we please just take a deep breath and chill for bit?

I kinda like this thread for reasons I mentioned in one of my past posts so I'd like it not to get shut down if possible?


Pretty Please,
Brute.

[Medusa]

Hominid -

I deleted your message to give you the benefit of the doubt that you didn't see my moderation since it looks like you might have been typing as I was posting.

That will be the only pass I give in this thread to anyone.

All -Let the line of arguing drop or get a time-out.

[DMW]

I know i mentioned moderators in a past post...i honestly was not being snide or making a jab at any moderators here. I was speaking of the job. I personally could not do what they have to do.

I didn't know that if someone has an issue about what someone posts...then they should go to a moderator? So, moderators have to deal with that also? Ugh...

[ruffryder]

We are in the thread FTM and what attracks people to FTMs, yes?

" the rest had been snipped out based on Medusa's posting after I posted, etc.. out of respect "

[Linus]

Originally Posted by DMW

I know i mentioned moderators in a past post...i honestly was not being snide or making a jab at any moderators here. I was speaking of the job. I personally could not do what they have to do.

I didn't know that if someone has an issue about what someone posts...then they should go to a moderator? So, moderators have to deal with that also? Ugh...

http://www.butchfemmeplanet.com/foru...ead.php?t=4886

[ruffryder]

Originally Posted by Medusa

, y'all are going to think it's Halloween because the time-outs will be passed out like candy.

heheh.. we love you Medusa! This scared me because I thought something was gonna be said about scariness! But it made me crack up too!


Everybody


I want candy!! and not the time out kind..

[femmsational]

Originally Posted by BrutalDyke

Yo, guys.

Medusa spoke. Can we please just take a deep breath and chill for bit?

I kinda like this thread for reasons I mentioned in one of my past posts so I'd like it not to get shut down if possible?


Pretty Please,
Brute.

*snort* you just like your......um.....ego stroked!!!


ruffryder, you asked some great questions in your...last....i think....post. It's somewhere in here buried. I sure would love to see people's answers to those questions.


ETA: Nope, i totally lied. Not your last post. But it was one of your last posts. I can't find it dammit!!!!

[BrutalDaddy]

Likes Having Ego Stroked,
Brute.

[ruffryder]

back to topic. who got's some answers?

Originally Posted by ruffryder

Thank you for the following Vintage and Uniques and everybody else posting in regards to what you find attractive in FTMs!





Brute it is a great thing that many FTMs are aware where they come from and the steps it takes to get to a comfortable place within oneself knowing and feeling all they do with regards to feminism and what it is like to be a female in this world. You say Julie has played a major role in your alignment and how you feel in regards to the journey, and your Mom called you "son." I have to say many femmes in my life and friends have helped me along this journey as well. They have pointed out things to me about myself that made me realize who I am and who I am to become. This helps immensely in gaining one's confidence and moving along the journey to become a FTM and align ones body perhaps and spirit to match how one may feel.

Your post definitely was not a derail.. maybe on the current discussion happening here but most definitely is what the thread is all about, FTMs and the attraction of them. Thanks for your sentiments.

My question for FTMs (in regards to attraction) is :

Have people in your life helped you along that journey we make as FTMs in realizing, aligning, transforming, etc? ..

and for others:

Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself?

For me, it's comments here about what attracks people to FTMS, people that understand where we come from and how we feel, acceptance, and this thread in general that help someone such as myself move about comfortably in this life being who I am.

[Gemme]

Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself?

I would like to think so, but you'd have to ask them.

*grin*

My first FTM I dated did not lead to the best situation but it was definitely a learning situation. He wanted a straight woman and to leave the glbt2q3i world far behind and to completely sever all ties with it. THAT won't happen with me. After much thought and many tears, we split. Not hatefully but not amicably either. I haven't remained in contact with him so I'm not sure how it's going for him and what, if any, influence I had on him....other than to make absolute sure that he's got a woman who is straight or is willing to become straight for him.

I've since dated more appropriate (for ME) FTMs that did not want/need/demand that from me and we've managed to part on much friendlier notes. Again, you'd have to ask them what influence, if any, I had on them and their process.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Have you been able to help FTMs with their journey in realizing, aligning, transforming, and how has it affected or changed them or yourself?


The only thing I feel I can do is be an ally. Their journey is theirs so I am supportive, open to be an ear and I do not let their path deter me from mine. I am not sure if that's helped them but I hope they feel I was/am supportive of them. I have helped a few friends get resources in their area if they ask

[pynkkameleon]

What attracts me to FTM's? I like many others am drawn to that masculine energy. It's what makes my belly do flip-flops and draws me in.

I cannot speak for all, but there is also dignity, a pride and yes even a dash of chivalry to each FTM that has ever graced my life. To me this is hot, hot, hot!

Not to downplay any of the struggles that we each have experienced and continue to go through as we move through life, becoming comfortable with who we are and seeking acceptance, but I think that we can all agree that FTM's and MTF individuals have to go many, many extra miles to find that acceptance, even from their own peers.

This is a bravery that I am simply in awe of. There is confidence, incredible strength, perseverance and dignity to any person that is willing to stand up and say "This is who I am". I am proud of any person, of any gender, that has that kind of bravery and self confidence and is willing to risk so much to live their lives being true to themselves.

So, what attracts me to FTM's? It is all of the above and so much more. They bring out the best in me, just as I hope that I do for them.