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Old 07-03-2020, 08:33 AM   #19
C0LLETTE
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Four more from Bulwer-Lytton:


After purchasing an oval Chinese frying pan at the diminutive British aristocrat’s yard sale, Nigel realized that he’d just taken a long wok off a short Peer.


Fed up with Parisian hipsters using fancy foreign words to describe French food, Pierre decided un oeuf was un oeuf.


After almost twenty years of baldness, Harry finally decided to splurge on an expensive, human-hair wig – after all, four hundred dollars to look twenty years younger was a small price toupée.


Winky the flounder, lying flat on the ocean floor, looked about in horror as he took in the shreds of fish flesh that rained down on him from the massacre visited upon his family by the barracuda gang, and realized: "I'm the sole survivor."

Gotta love good corn !
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