Public Displays of Affection (PDA)

imperfect_cupcake · 07-24-2013, 06:35 AM

I've had yelling from cars for homophobia, sexism, size (when I was fat), and highschool idiots just being random assholes for no reason at all. It's not stopped me from holding someone's hand.
I've lived in a quite a few cities in a few different countries and traveled quite a bit I have only been very mindful about it in Indonesia, Malaysia, Panama and small towns in the states.
I am absolutely fine with arm in arm, hand holding, a nice kiss.
I do hug and cuddle if we are standing watching fire works or something but I don't have my legs over hers and strumming anyones hair if I'm on the tube or something. hand holding is something I love to do.

In london, as we approached a group of 7 boys who were drinking I went to let go of my partner's (at the time) hand. She said
"No. don't let go. they see you let go and they will know we're afraid and that's much worse. it's like dogs. keep your calm and don't be nervous."

we walked through their pack and one of them kicked me and the red mist decended and I spun around and kicked back. they laughed at the kid I hit and they said some silly shit and kept walking.

I've been attacked quite a few times for just being female. I'm really not afraid to punch people anymore. but I have never lived in a country with hand guns either.

But no. the harassment and attacks I've had have not discouraged me from holding hands in public.

one ex of mind would not hold hands. she said she thought is was childish. I told her I thought that was BS. she was scared. I pointed to tons of adults "are they childish? are they? do they look childish? how bout them? I think you are scared of being spotted for a homo. cause, like, you are so stealth about it by the way you look, right? no one knows you are a homo! better not hold hands and out yourself!" I was laughing and taking the piss.

she told me to shut it, but I was a bit relentless about it. she always got very PDA after a couple of drinks so I'm pretty damn sure it was fear of something. It was oxford. it's not like anything would have happened save a very unlikely shit comment. big whoop someone voices disapproval. jesus. never had that before. not sure how I'd manage to cope with the opinions of someone I don't know or care about...

My exwife wouldn't do it. she was scared. though I'm not sure why, having come from an extremely progressive country. Then after we were married she realised she had every fucking right to hold my hand, I was her goddamn wife. So she finally started holding my hand. It used to really hurt my feelings, though I tried not to feel hurt, it really did - that she would allow disapproving looks be more important than holding my hand. So finally I felt she had overcome her lack of "right" to hold my hand in public. Did we get snotty looks? sometimes. One wine and cheese canal cruise a table full of Italians were being extremely rude and glaring at me. She actually spoke up and told them that gay marriage was legal in holland and to suck it up or leave.

that was very appreciated. and the rest of the people on the cruise glared at the group who were being homophobic.

07-24-2013, 06:35 AM	#26
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,727 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	I've had yelling from cars for homophobia, sexism, size (when I was fat), and highschool idiots just being random assholes for no reason at all. It's not stopped me from holding someone's hand. I've lived in a quite a few cities in a few different countries and traveled quite a bit I have only been very mindful about it in Indonesia, Malaysia, Panama and small towns in the states. I am absolutely fine with arm in arm, hand holding, a nice kiss. I do hug and cuddle if we are standing watching fire works or something but I don't have my legs over hers and strumming anyones hair if I'm on the tube or something. hand holding is something I love to do. In london, as we approached a group of 7 boys who were drinking I went to let go of my partner's (at the time) hand. She said "No. don't let go. they see you let go and they will know we're afraid and that's much worse. it's like dogs. keep your calm and don't be nervous." we walked through their pack and one of them kicked me and the red mist decended and I spun around and kicked back. they laughed at the kid I hit and they said some silly shit and kept walking. I've been attacked quite a few times for just being female. I'm really not afraid to punch people anymore. but I have never lived in a country with hand guns either. But no. the harassment and attacks I've had have not discouraged me from holding hands in public. one ex of mind would not hold hands. she said she thought is was childish. I told her I thought that was BS. she was scared. I pointed to tons of adults "are they childish? are they? do they look childish? how bout them? I think you are scared of being spotted for a homo. cause, like, you are so stealth about it by the way you look, right? no one knows you are a homo! better not hold hands and out yourself!" I was laughing and taking the piss. she told me to shut it, but I was a bit relentless about it. she always got very PDA after a couple of drinks so I'm pretty damn sure it was fear of something. It was oxford. it's not like anything would have happened save a very unlikely shit comment. big whoop someone voices disapproval. jesus. never had that before. not sure how I'd manage to cope with the opinions of someone I don't know or care about... My exwife wouldn't do it. she was scared. though I'm not sure why, having come from an extremely progressive country. Then after we were married she realised she had every fucking right to hold my hand, I was her goddamn wife. So she finally started holding my hand. It used to really hurt my feelings, though I tried not to feel hurt, it really did - that she would allow disapproving looks be more important than holding my hand. So finally I felt she had overcome her lack of "right" to hold my hand in public. Did we get snotty looks? sometimes. One wine and cheese canal cruise a table full of Italians were being extremely rude and glaring at me. She actually spoke up and told them that gay marriage was legal in holland and to suck it up or leave. that was very appreciated. and the rest of the people on the cruise glared at the group who were being homophobic. Last edited by imperfect_cupcake; 07-24-2013 at 06:50 AM.