Where to go from here...

[dixie]

Okay, background info on my situation: Two years ago I had a wonderful job, a nice apartment in the city and seemed to be "living the good life". I was also an unmedicated, undiagnosed bipolar individual. In April of 2008, I had a suicide attempt which landed me in the hospital for quite some time. Needless to say, as a result I lost everything...job, home, etc. I know you must be wondering why I'm posting this here instead of the mental illness thread, but I'm getting to that...

I've taken these last two years to find myself, so to speak. I have finally come to terms with this illness and found my serenity and peace within. Unfortunately, two years of soul searching really drains a bank account. I've never had an issue with finding employment, and usually worked 2-3 jobs at a time. Now I am at my wits end at not finding ANY jobs. I've sent my resume to more places than I can name, and have been on a number of dead-end interviews.

And it all seems to come down to this one question: "Why is there a two year gap in your employment record?"

I've tried both "options", i.e. being completely honest and slightly hedging. I began with the honest approach. Those interviewers wrinkled their noses, looked at me like I was a rabid animal, and cut the interviews short. (And yes, some of them were extremely rude and hurtful.) That's when I began hedging. By hedging, I told them I had been dealing with a health issue and taking time with my family. Those interviewers then wanted to go on and on asking me what kind of health issue, if the health issue would resurface, am i dying, yadda yadda yadda. I was extremely uncomfortable with not being fully honest with a potential employer, but (1) I felt that if I told the reason I would get similar reactions to the first few bunches of interviewers, and (2) I truly don't feel that it's their place to know something that personal.

I know that the "two year gap" is the issue at heart. My resume is a proven track record that I can do a job and do it damn well. Unfortunately, these potential employers (especially the ones I was honest with) can't seem to see past "crazy 2 year gap girl" sitting across from them...

So i guess my question to you is, where do I go from here? Am I wrong to feel that an issue like that is not a potential employer's business? Is there a better way to address the issue that would make both myself and a potential employer more comfortable? How do I get past this issue and have a successful interview? What's the best way to move forward?

I'm butting my head against the wall. I really have no idea how to go about answering the "gap" question. Any and all advice that you can give me would be greatly appreciated....

[Waldo]

You are in an interview selling yourself as much as your abilities. You're not doing a very good job of it when you're laying all this out there and hedging it is even worse.

It has become much more common place for individuals to take a break. Develop a story and stick with it.

"I'd been working for X years and decided that I wanted a break. I was fortunate enough to have the resources which allowed me to do so. I'm recharged, refocused and ready to be part of an organization that can challenge me."

When or if they ask more questions you do not need to go into the details. Have a couple of answers at the ready which do not delve into the details but which explain away any inquiry.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Waldo

You are in an interview selling yourself as much as your abilities. You're not doing a very good job of it when you're laying all this out there and hedging it is even worse.

It has become much more common place for individuals to take a break. Develop a story and stick with it.

"I'd been working for X years and decided that I wanted a break. I was fortunate enough to have the resources which allowed me to do so. I'm recharged, refocused and ready to be part of an organization that can challenge me."

When or if they ask more questions you do not need to go into the details. Have a couple of answers at the ready which do not delve into the details but which explain away any inquiry.

I always start out with the "selling myself". I don't go into the interview and start by "laying it out there". I guess I'm just a little too ingrained with some things, because I prefer trying to answer questions honestly. *shrug*

I guess I didn't realize it would be such an issue, because it caught me off guard the first time the question was brought up. I guess it gave me a major insecurity about it that leads to the interview bombing, because once it's brought up I feel my heart sinking, thinking "oh great, here we go..."

I appreciate your advice and ideas. I will try to have those answers at the ready and not divulge more information than necessary. Thanks Waldo!

[Waldo]

You are not being dishonest. You're just not divulging all the details. Think of it as mArketing spin. Would you buy a used car if you knew that it had a history of breaking down?

An employer, particularly in this market, has a nearly unlimited supply of seemingly great candidates. Don't say or do anything that cast yourself in anything but the most flattering light.

I've interviewed dozens of women who sabotage themselves in similar manners and it always makes me sad. I'd love to be able to pull them asi and explain it to them.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Waldo

You are not being dishonest. You're just not divulging all the details. Think of it as mArketing spin. Would you buy a used car if you knew that it had a history of breaking down?

An employer, particularly in this market, has a nearly unlimited supply of seemingly great candidates. Don't say or do anything that cast yourself in anything but the most flattering light.

I've interviewed dozens of women who sabotage themselves in similar manners and it always makes me sad. I'd love to be able to pull them asi and explain it to them.

That's so true, especially about the car. I guess I've never really thought of the "marketing spin" side of it. Funny how I can be so intelligent at some things and have zero common sense at others...lol I just have such a bad habit of being too "detailed", especially when I'm afraid that I will be misrepresenting an issue. I think that's what I'm afraid of. I'm scared that I will "market myself" and then down the road somehow the issue will come up and I will feel like I misrepresented myself. It's probably another reason why I don't embellish a darn thing on my resume. It's very blunt and to the point...lol

Thanks again Waldo, you've been a really big help.

[little man]

i have had a tendency to job hop. once the challenge is gone or i find there is nowhere to go, i find other work. obviously, employers don't like the idea of hiring someone who will leave after a couple of years.

when i put my resume together, i base it on cumulative years of specific skills or skillsets. i can recall being asked only once for specific dates and employers.

thusfar, i've not had much issue finding work. i have a broad set of job skills and point to those rather than time with a specific employer.

[sharkchomp]

Ya know, I think I'd just say I was taking care of someone in my family. Which isn't exactly a lie as YOU are a person in your family. The job market is tough right now and tons of people are looking for work. As long as you're healthy, it's really noone's business why you were out of work or who you took care of - even yourself! Hang in there and don't give up!!!!!!

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

[T D]

Originally Posted by sharkchomp

Ya know, I think I'd just say I was taking care of someone in my family. Which isn't exactly a lie as YOU are a person in your family. The job market is tough right now and tons of people are looking for work. As long as you're healthy, it's really noone's business why you were out of work or who you took care of - even yourself! Hang in there and don't give up!!!!!!

~~~shark~~~~~~~~

Actually I've used this one myself in the past, and with no problem what-so-ever.

Best of luck to you!

[Rockinonahigh]

Dose this ever hit home for me,u c im in sorta the same boat.I was in an accident three years ago and havent worked much except for doing catering dureing holiday seasons.When I had my resume done over I was advised to only put my qulifacations as a chef on it and not my years as anything else.Its either im over qulified or they question the gap in the resume.I have a stock anser of takeing cae of family(me)tho I dont tell them its me.THe injury was to my back and standing for long periods of time is a bit of a problem,but as long as I have a safty rubber mat to stand on it helps as well as being abe to move around..being a chef is a labor intensive job at best but one I love to do and have no intention in giveing up on.All I can say is keep trying cause thats all I can do as well.

[Gayla]

Ditto what everyone else has said. I have a somewhat major gap in my employment history because I took time off to spend with my mother before she died. If I'm asked about the gap, I say I was taking care of a family member during an extended illness.

The only time anyone has ever asked for more detail was one woman who had just gotten back from a leave of absence because she was taking care of her mother. Most people don't ask for more details because asking can come close to crossing lines of things they aren't supposed to ask about during an interview.

[betenoire]

ditto what little_man said. "skill based" resumes are actually pretty much the norm nowadays. they're also especially helpful if the job you are now seeking isn't identical to the jobs you have had previously...it's all about the transferable skills.

[Andrew, Jr.]

Dixielady,

I really don't know when the right time is to disclose a chronic health issue to an employer. I have fought the same battle. I have no idea. And it doesn't help to have no gov't backing. We are the ones who "fall thru the cracks" if you know what I mean.

ox,
Andrew

[chefhmboyrd]

they don't need to know the details
like everone is saying
"i was taking care of a family member"

i am also and "honesty is the best policy" type of guy, but when it comes to business. lie like the dog you work for, i say

[dixie]

Thanks so much everyone! I really appreciate the advice and the ideas. I think I will go with a more skill-oriented resume than a history based one. I will have to figure out the best format, because I went from years and years of retail-based customer service to the medical field. I need to find a good balance to incorporate all those experiences because I really enjoyed the medical field and would like to continue in it. Too many years of retail management makes me hope that I don't have to go back to it, eventhough at this point I would be happy with anything I could get! lol

[Blade]

sabbatical
Tell them you took a sabbatical.

Dixie, my problem is they want to know why I want to leave such a "wonderful" company after 25 yrs. DUH!

[Stearns]

You know, this may be beside the point, but I didn't think employers were allowed to ask about a candidate's health issues, even as follow-up to disclosure from the applicant.

If you're not able to avoid the gap issue and you aren't comfortable "fudging", perhaps you could say you had a health issue that is now resolved and leave it at that?

[Blade]

That's what I thought too. We had to redo our applications several years back because the original ones from back in the 80's asked all sorts of medical questions.

Originally Posted by Stearns

You know, this may be beside the point, but I didn't think employers were allowed to ask about a candidate's health issues, even as follow-up to disclosure from the applicant.

If you're not able to avoid the gap issue and you aren't comfortable "fudging", perhaps you could say you had a health issue that is now resolved and leave it at that?

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Stearns

You know, this may be beside the point, but I didn't think employers were allowed to ask about a candidate's health issues, even as follow-up to disclosure from the applicant.

If you're not able to avoid the gap issue and you aren't comfortable "fudging", perhaps you could say you had a health issue that is now resolved and leave it at that?

Especially working in the medical field for my last job, it was a HIPPA violation to ask certain things about health, whether employee or client/patient. Unfortunately, I live in a very small rural town that still mostly operates under the "good ol' boy" system. Everyone knows everyone, so they think they have the right to know everything. Some are downright huffy and rude if they think they aren't "getting the low down" on all your information. (I tried saying it was a resolved health issue...they were like sharks after blood...lol) I miss living in the city... *sigh*

[Stearns]

Originally Posted by dixielady

Especially working in the medical field for my last job, it was a HIPPA violation to ask certain things about health, whether employee or client/patient. Unfortunately, I live in a very small rural town that still mostly operates under the "good ol' boy" system. Everyone knows everyone, so they think they have the right to know everything. Some are downright huffy and rude if they think they aren't "getting the low down" on all your information. (I tried saying it was a resolved health issue...they were like sharks after blood...lol) I miss living in the city... *sigh*

Gee, wow, ok. An ebay seller during that time? I'm at a loss.

[dixie]

Originally Posted by Stearns

Gee, wow, ok. An ebay seller during that time? I'm at a loss.

Ya know, that is a super good idea! lol I actually did do some eBay sales, and quite a bit of volunteer work during that time period!