Is revenge OK?

[Vlasta]

Originally Posted by Legendryder

When I was younger, I had anger issues. If I felt I was being wronged, in any way, real or not, I came right back at the person in a not nice way. As I got older, I learned that it didn't really make it better. Did not make me feel better. Many times, I let my mouth write checks my ass could not cash. I got my ass kicked more than once on that type of deal. I had to learn a better way to deal. So, I just started to ignore and walk away. And I will be darned, if it didn't keep me from getting my ass stomped into a mudhole. And something else.........I didn't drop to a childish level. I began to use my mind instead of my fists. Cause, honestly, I am too old to take a butt kickin' anymore.


Now, if ya throw a pea at me at the dinner table, all bets are off. I WILL throw a pea back. lol

I am not sure what time you are talking about , but since we dated about 5 years ago , you was always nice person and I never see any anger issues or violence from you . I always admire your intelligence and knowledge you have , You teach me a lot and I am grateful .

You will always be special person in my life .

hugs and kisses

Vlasta

[Vlasta]

Originally Posted by Vlasta

I am not sure what time you are talking about , but since we dated about 5 years ago , you was always nice person and I never see any anger issues or violence from you . I always admire your intelligence and knowledge you have , You teach me a lot and I am grateful .

You will always be special person in my life .

hugs and kisses

Vlasta

I am sorry , I think I messed up . I was thinking I was in a different thread , I apologize .

[Legendryder]

Yeah, you did not know be back in my 20's and 30's. I was a mouthy, ill tempered shithead. rofl I aged well. Nuff said.

[Ebon]

It's pretty good I watch it every Wednesday.

[SweetJane]

Revenge.....Hmmmm. I've thought about it once or twice in my life, especially when harm came to my own. But Karma does its work. You just have to be patient and let it do what it's supposed to. They will get theirs when the time is right.

[Honey]

Originally Posted by SweetJane

Revenge.....Hmmmm. I've thought about it once or twice in my life, especially when harm came to my own. But Karma does its work. You just have to be patient and let it do what it's supposed to. They will get theirs when the time is right.

...and hope that you are there to see it when karma bites'm in the ass

[AtLast]

No, it isn't a far as I'm concerned. Let go and go on and don't allow someone else's negative actions or character flaws impact your life.

[SuddenlyWestFemme]

Originally Posted by softheart

I will probably burn in the eternal fires but, I don't care. Sometimes it feels so good. (giggling)

There is a scientific reaason for that. According to Scientific American: "We have learned that revenge can activate pleasure centers in the brain and lead to that so-called "sweet taste of revenge." See their website article: http://www.scientificamerican.com/ar...enge-evolution

Yes, there is a lot of Science around how we feel good when we get revenge (and some of the studies show men get more pleasure from revenge than women - but that's another issue). But it is a pleasure that doesn't really last.

I find this topic interesting. When my ex (not on this site) left under really bad circumstances, I wanted to 'act-out' and get revenge. But being sober, it wasn't an option. I had to keep chanting "Do no harm" as I can't afford the instant pleasure that revenge would have brought no matter how much I wanted it. So now I do yoga and listen to Buddhist meditations and time has worked its magic on healing. I feel much better about myself than I would have - had I gotten revenge.

When I was so sad on the floor crying, I did a lot of research around the science of being left and wanting revenge (and friends sent me articles). I found that being left hits a part of the brain that is hit when burning hot coffee is spilled on you. It actually is physically painful! And wanting relief is just natural human behavior! It was good to know that there was a reason I was feeling so badly and I just had to do the next right thing and hold on for dear life until my brain was back to itself.

It is wonderfully hard to remain kind in the face of being treated horribly. But in the long run, it is worth it. And even losing my best friend in the 9-11 attacks and living 26 blocks from the trade centers did not make me want revenge as I knew it wouldn't help anything in the long run. In fact, I am sad about all that has been done in the name of those attacks. But I guess that is another thread as well.

Interesting topic.

[WickedFemme]

I don't think 'revenge' is a good idea although I fantasize about it often, I would never actually carry it out. I just feel all ooogey when I give something too much negative energy. I find that it makes me feel more negative and somehow deepens my wrinkle lines, which is not a good thing for my vanity or my spiritual being. I prefer to let it go and move on and focus on the positive and things that are in my control rather than attempt to alter someone's life in some skeezy way. It's not worth it and people are just merely 'human' and make mistakes.

however, if I had a child and someone did something harmful to that child - I don't think I could be all spiritual about it. Perhaps this is why I am not a parent and quite thankful that I'm not.

[Quintease]

I agree that thoughts of revenge are often a very effective medicine.

The reality, not so good. Unless you're the type of person who could be relied upon to break a gang out of a high-security jail, revenge is best left in your head. A revenge-gone-wrong episode will only succeed in making you look bad.

I'm happy as I've never taken revenge on anyone who's ever done me wrong, yet life has always caught them up. Bad people don't generally know where to stop, so eventually lose their friends, their jobs and their reputation. I wouldn't want to live a life of my bridges constantly eroding behind me.

As Duffy very wisely says "I pity the fools who bathe in you
'Cause I know someday now they'll see your colors too"

[kannon]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Shakespeare wrote, revenge is a dish better served cold. If you have to serve it, serve it cold.

[pinkgeek]

The croaking raven doth bellow for revenge.
Hamlet

Originally Posted by kannon

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Shakespeare wrote, revenge is a dish better served cold. If you have to serve it, serve it cold.

http://www.phrases.org.uk/bulletin_b...sages/883.html

ok, so it's wiki
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/reveng...st_served_cold

[Venus007]

I believe that revenge happens with no input from me. I think that people who do evil will reap what they sew and I will not have to lift a finger to enforce it. It is like that old quote "Gods wheels grind slow but exceedingly fine"

[kannon]

"The first written appearance of the proverb "revenge is a dish best served cold" is often wrongly credited to the novel Les liaisons dangereuses (1782); it does not, in fact, appear there in any form. It is earliest identified appearance in European literature is in the 1841 French novel Mathilde by Marie Joseph Eugène Sue: la vengeance se mange très-bien froide — there italicized as if quoting a proverbial saying — published in English translation in 1846 as revenge is very good eaten cold.[8]

The proverb suggests that revenge is more satisfying as a considered response enacted when unexpected, or long feared, inverting the more traditional revulsion toward 'cold-blooded' violence. In early literature it is used, usually, to persuade another to forestall vengeance until wisdom can reassert itself. This sense is lost in recent presentations."

This expresses my thoughts on revenge.

[Bad_boi]

No. Because revenge leads to more revenge and it escalates until some thing severe happens and people wind up with more than just hurt feelings.

When someone wrongs you it is okay to stand up for yourself or defend yourself if you have do but anything beyond that is unessicary violence or negativity.

[deedarino]

Wanting revenge means you are pissed, and often consumed. The only one who is really hurt by this is you. Unless you follow through. Even then you are included in the hurt. If you want to feel better, just work on feeling better.

"He that studieth revenge keepeth his own wounds green, which otherwise would heal and do well." John Milton


Besides; I have found the best revenge is being a good person and living a good life. Ok, I am not so innocent, it is sweet.

[aishah]

the times in my life i've been hurt the most, it's been by people i cared about - like when my parents died and my family abandoned me and my sister and stole a lot of our stuff, for example. i wanted my family to understand how much they hurt me by abandoning me and not caring whether i lived or died, especially when it hurt so much since i still cared a lot about them. sometimes i'm still angry over that, even though i've worked really hard to rebuild our relationships (at least to the point that they are willing, it's hard when someone won't return letters or phone calls). when my dad was still alive, there were times that i struggled with this too - wanting him to understand how much he hurt me as a child. with a lot of time and therapy i've figured out that that's mostly a fruitless effort. the people who hurt me are not capable of understanding how or why what they did was wrong, and nothing i can do to them will ever come close to making them feel the way they made me feel. it's easier and maybe healthier to just put it behind me as much as i can and reach out to rebuild relationships to the point that i'm able. or to just detach.

oddly enough, things that were very traumatic in other ways for me - like experiencing sexual violence - have never really sparked revenge fantasies or a desire to hurt someone. my pain around more acute trauma like that tends to be focused inward rather than outward.

my partner has an issue with becoming angry and vengeful (one he's actively been dealing with and working on resolving). he's used to fighting a lot and doing it completely below the belt, even in romantic relationships, which is something i pretty much never do. i actually very rarely get angry (other than the situation with my family, and being angry at injustices, i can't think of that many times where i've been angry). i don't really tend to fight that much with friends, family members, or partners, which is something he's commented on. when it comes to a problem i would rather talk about it and figure out what is wrong and fix it than hurt someone over it. so other than a few isolated incidents i haven't had the urge for revenge that much.

i wouldn't say i'm a very utilitarian person generally speaking but that's the attitude i have towards anger and revenge. i'd much rather figure out how to deal with something constructively or try to move past it than get pissed off or vengeful about it.

[Ginger]

Revenge prolongs war. It locks you to the battlefield. If you extract revenge, you are making a kind of sneak attack, and sending the message that you still consider the other person to be a threat. In that way, it validates their ability to hurt you, and if they do in fact mean to harm you, this will please them.

Your attempt at revenge will also confirm for them, that they still occupy an important place in your life. And it will excite them, because you are presenting yourself for a counterattack.

For all these reasons, revenge prevents healing, and the person you are revenging yourself against, sits triumphantly at your table in a place you could have cleared, instead, for someone kind.

[Greco]

Revenge? Not for me. It is said that when one is seeking revenge one is digging two graves

I keep my precious time, space, and power (energy) creating what I want to experience in my life.

In my old neighborhood they say, "what goes around, comes around..."

So karma is enough.

Greco