Foster Parents/Adoptive Parents

FemmeBibliophile · 11-05-2012, 01:45 PM

I'm just curious if there are any other foster parents/adoptive parents here on the board?

I am a licensed foster parent. I have had over a dozen children in and out of my home over the past five years. They have ranged from newborn to 18 years old.

I would love to *connect* with other foster parents, and even those who have done adoption... Whether it be open or closed, through child protective services or through an agency/attorney!

Dance-with-me · 11-05-2012, 02:07 PM

I am a former foster parent - had one foster child for 2.5 years ('01-03), from a few days after her 13th birthday. I had planned to adopt, but her behavior became so manipulative and destructive that as much as it broke my heart, it finally became clear that she wasn't going to be able to stay with me.

A good friend of mine who was inspired by me to become a foster parent is now the proud [single!] parent of three 10 year-olds: One boy who was placed with her an an infant then briefly returned to his mother when he was 18m, and twins who were placed with her when her first son was back with his birth mom.

My state is just now beginning to recognize that placing LGBT youth with even the most well-meaning foster parents who are conservative Christian (as many in this state are) can result in extremely hurtful (either inadvertently or deliberately) environments for those kids, and so they are going to begin recruiting LGBT and ally families for those kids. Once my ex is out of my house and I've given my life the chance to settle down for a bit, I am going to consider doing this.

iamkeri1 · 11-05-2012, 02:15 PM

Fostered seven, adopted four of them. They are all grown now (Boy 24, girl 23, boy 21, Boy,20) and mostly OK, but there were some very VERY hard times with all three boys during their teen years.
Smooches,
Keri

laruss · 11-05-2012, 02:17 PM

I was just thinking about this over the past few days. Interesting that this thread would pop up at this time.

I have fostered in the past, and then got so busy with my own children, plus the occasional safety factor for my children, that I gave it up.

I had thought I was done having children until my granddaughters were born and now I am having second thoughts.

I know I really don't want to do the baby thing again, but school aged children would be really nice. I know it is a lot of work, but it is also very rewarding.

I think as soon as I get my life back on track that I will look into the process again.

Raven. · 11-05-2012, 03:44 PM

I've fostered 2 kids, one 10 the other a teenage boy 14. I had him till last year. Still love him to bits. Having children made things a bit different and I found that love looked different. I grew up in 'care' (not) so fostering is always something that I would do. I also work in that area. In Australia things are very different although as globalisation takes over we are becoming as mean and punitive as the best of conservative politics allows. Not sure what that will mean for our kids. More will just die or be unhappy I suppose.

Heavenleahangel · 11-05-2012, 03:57 PM

I have been a foster parent to 6 children, all with special needs and behavioral issues. I also adopted a boy, now 5, when he was brand spanking new! It's a match made in Heaven! He looks just like me! Until I got sick last year, I would have had taken another baby in a heartbeat! Now, I have a too-smart 5 year old boy who gives me a run for my money DAILY!!!

FemmeBibliophile · 11-07-2012, 10:11 AM

I'm glad to see others on the board who have been there/done that regarding foster care.

Out of all the kids I've had... The hardest were the ones who came from the hospital addicted to something and still going through withdrawals. However, the kids with RAD were a close second.

What are some of the difficulties that you guys faced while fostering? Or just those "stupid" questions you got from those who really didn't know about fostering?

girllikeu2 · 05-05-2013, 07:00 AM

This is an older less active thread but yep I am a mom via foster/adopt. My girl is GREAT smart, funny, better looking than anything I coulda baked in my own oven and CONSTANTLY moving and talking. All I can say is the baby with withdrawal ain't NUTHIN compared to the kid who used to be that baby. Sleep is for the weak, people.

Most irritating and intrusive question we get is "Is her daddy black?" When I am feeling cranky I will answer with something to the effect of "I'm not sure, it was a busy night!"

11-05-2012, 01:45 PM	#1
FemmeBibliophile Member How Do You Identify?: i no longer do Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: null and void Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: where dreams disappear Posts: 473 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 121 Thanked 1,442 Times in 337 Posts Rep Power: 11169939	Foster Parents/Adoptive Parents I'm just curious if there are any other foster parents/adoptive parents here on the board? I am a licensed foster parent. I have had over a dozen children in and out of my home over the past five years. They have ranged from newborn to 18 years old. I would love to connect with other foster parents, and even those who have done adoption... Whether it be open or closed, through child protective services or through an agency/attorney! __________________ The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go. ― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

11-05-2012, 02:07 PM	#2
Dance-with-me Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: earth Posts: 419 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 264 Thanked 1,926 Times in 378 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	I am a former foster parent - had one foster child for 2.5 years ('01-03), from a few days after her 13th birthday. I had planned to adopt, but her behavior became so manipulative and destructive that as much as it broke my heart, it finally became clear that she wasn't going to be able to stay with me. A good friend of mine who was inspired by me to become a foster parent is now the proud [single!] parent of three 10 year-olds: One boy who was placed with her an an infant then briefly returned to his mother when he was 18m, and twins who were placed with her when her first son was back with his birth mom. My state is just now beginning to recognize that placing LGBT youth with even the most well-meaning foster parents who are conservative Christian (as many in this state are) can result in extremely hurtful (either inadvertently or deliberately) environments for those kids, and so they are going to begin recruiting LGBT and ally families for those kids. Once my ex is out of my house and I've given my life the chance to settle down for a bit, I am going to consider doing this. __________________ Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. ~Mahatma Gandhi

11-05-2012, 02:17 PM	#4
laruss Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She or Goddess Relationship Status: Settled in Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Edmonton Alberta Posts: 1,322 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,849 Thanked 5,328 Times in 1,045 Posts Rep Power: 21474850	I was just thinking about this over the past few days. Interesting that this thread would pop up at this time. I have fostered in the past, and then got so busy with my own children, plus the occasional safety factor for my children, that I gave it up. I had thought I was done having children until my granddaughters were born and now I am having second thoughts. I know I really don't want to do the baby thing again, but school aged children would be really nice. I know it is a lot of work, but it is also very rewarding. I think as soon as I get my life back on track that I will look into the process again. __________________ Creativity is a drug I can't do without. -Cecil B. DeMille

11-05-2012, 03:57 PM	#6
Heavenleahangel Member How Do You Identify?: OFOS Femme; Earth bound Angel and Babygirl; Preferred Pronoun?: She, Angel, as long as it's respectful Relationship Status: Waiting for the One who can complete me Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Albany, NY~but originally from Georgia Posts: 562 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,257 Thanked 2,069 Times in 468 Posts Rep Power: 18675552	I have been a foster parent to 6 children, all with special needs and behavioral issues. I also adopted a boy, now 5, when he was brand spanking new! It's a match made in Heaven! He looks just like me! Until I got sick last year, I would have had taken another baby in a heartbeat! Now, I have a too-smart 5 year old boy who gives me a run for my money DAILY!!! __________________ Sweet Georgia Peach

11-07-2012, 10:11 AM	#7
FemmeBibliophile Member How Do You Identify?: i no longer do Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: null and void Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: where dreams disappear Posts: 473 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 121 Thanked 1,442 Times in 337 Posts Rep Power: 11169939	I'm glad to see others on the board who have been there/done that regarding foster care. Out of all the kids I've had... The hardest were the ones who came from the hospital addicted to something and still going through withdrawals. However, the kids with RAD were a close second. What are some of the difficulties that you guys faced while fostering? Or just those "stupid" questions you got from those who really didn't know about fostering? __________________ The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go. ― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

11-05-2012, 02:15 PM	#3
iamkeri1 Member How Do You Identify?: femme woman Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: solo Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Central Florida Posts: 821 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 250 Thanked 1,944 Times in 584 Posts Rep Power: 14065934	Fostered seven, adopted four of them. They are all grown now (Boy 24, girl 23, boy 21, Boy,20) and mostly OK, but there were some very VERY hard times with all three boys during their teen years. Smooches, Keri

11-05-2012, 03:44 PM	#5
Raven. Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch! Tomboi Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Oct 2012 Location: Sydney Posts: 8 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6 Thanked 25 Times in 6 Posts Rep Power: 0	I've fostered 2 kids, one 10 the other a teenage boy 14. I had him till last year. Still love him to bits. Having children made things a bit different and I found that love looked different. I grew up in 'care' (not) so fostering is always something that I would do. I also work in that area. In Australia things are very different although as globalisation takes over we are becoming as mean and punitive as the best of conservative politics allows. Not sure what that will mean for our kids. More will just die or be unhappy I suppose.

05-05-2013, 07:00 AM	#8
girllikeu2 Member How Do You Identify?: Dingbat Relationship Status: Facebook Official Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: *** Posts: 699 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 720 Thanked 1,100 Times in 288 Posts Rep Power**: 15433227	This is an older less active thread but yep I am a mom via foster/adopt. My girl is GREAT smart, funny, better looking than anything I coulda baked in my own oven and CONSTANTLY moving and talking. All I can say is the baby with withdrawal ain't NUTHIN compared to the kid who used to be that baby. Sleep is for the weak, people. Most irritating and intrusive question we get is "Is her daddy black?" When I am feeling cranky I will answer with something to the effect of "I'm not sure, it was a busy night!"