What are your three non-negotiables (in a relationship)?

[Martina]

Do not be boring to me. My friends and I can sit around and talk about laundry, and I won't be bored. And there are some people who everyone seems to think fascinating, and are by objective measures, but who I can't wait to get away from. So who knows why some people are interesting to me and others aren't? But be one of those I find interesting.

Do not be one of those fabulous, performative, look-at-me kinda queers. That shit wears me out. Butches, femmes, and other genders can be like this. It can catch the eye and occasionally warm more southerly regions, but for day-to-day living, no thanks.

These are different, but I will lump them into one point. Be capable of empathy, be considerate, and have good manners. Basically, be someone I don't have to train like a stray dog. If you are old, which is likely, and haven't acquired these qualities by now, you are probably an asshole. So, I'll give that a miss.

[legally_b10nde]

1. Abusive - physically or verbally

2. Cheating - lying is part of cheating

3. Arrogance - cockiness or showing swagger is fine.

4. Have a great sense of humor

5. Must be good in the sack

Ooops, I've added two more..... oh well

6. Emotionally & financially stable, responsible

7. Minimum 5'8" or taller

8. Being deceptive with full of B.S and drama

Ooops, now I've added three more! So spank me!! LOL

[JDeere]

I just basically want honesty, respect and no drama!

[kittygrrl]

-a dedication to your sweetheart, that makes you evaluate every issue's importance in the bigger picture of your life together....I think the realization makes you behave more reasonably and be more open to expansive resolutions to the glitches every deep relationship will have-if this doesn't occur to you early, you probably need to rethink whether you're ready for anything deeper

-to think of your sweetheart's needs as equal in value and importance to your own

-realizing goodness, faithfulness, kindness have to be part of what's important to you both

[candy_coated_bitch]

Three non-negotiable:

1) honesty

2) kindness

3) a good sense of humor

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by candy_coated_bitch

Three non-negotiable:

1) honesty

2) kindness

3) a good sense of humor

A good sense of humor never hurt anyone

[Martina]

Originally Posted by JDeere

A good sense of humor never hurt anyone

JDeere, girls will think you have a good sense of humor if you wear Hello Kitty gear.

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Martina

JDeere, girls will think you have a good sense of humor if you wear Hello Kitty gear.

no they wont they will think I'm weird, not the good kind of weird either lol

[Greco]

Honesty...Honesty...Honesty...did I say Honesty?!

and Intelligence/Creativity...glasses a plus...smiling...

loves family...Sensual...Multi-lingual...Compassionate...Loyal...Loyal...Loyal...

did I say...?...smiling...Passionate about her interests...knows that Love is

demonstrated in actions...Loves to move...dance...run...swim...walking...

oh yes and loves to...well, you see I could go on, but will stop here...and knows

that she finds similar and other qualities in me...including the glasses...smiling...

In 2017, may you be embraced by peace of mind, prosperity, and an honest, and

loyal, lovingly caring Beloved. Happy New Year!

Greco

[clay]

Originally Posted by Greco

Honesty...Honesty...Honesty...did I say Honesty?!


snipped your convo
In 2017, may you be embraced by peace of mind, prosperity, and an honest, and

loyal, lovingly caring Beloved. Happy New Year!

Greco

Hi Greco.....thank you for the wonderful wishes.

I have indeed found all of these attributes & so many more in my best friend, on our journey to love & LTR. I found her in 2016, so my New Year s already triply blessed! Wish same for you my friend!!

[JDeere]

Ohh loyalty is another good one to have.

That is very hard to find these days.

[Greco]

Indeed, high level of discernment required for sure...actions speak louder than words.

Greco

Originally Posted by JDeere

Ohh loyalty is another good one to have.

That is very hard to find these days.

[Lyte]

Communication / Honesty / Fidelity

[JDeere]

Originally Posted by Greco

Indeed, high level of discernment required for sure...actions speak louder than words.

Greco

Very true, I prefer actions over words!

[imperfect_cupcake]

1) Independence, for both of us. If I do accept someone into my life, they have to compliment it. So they would have to love their own independence of life as much as I love my own. That's the only way it would work.

2) Similar sense of humour. Still on my bare essentials. If they don't have dark humour and love playful sarcasm/irreverent humour, wit, its probably not going anywhere physical.

3) Good Kinky Sex Life.


that they dont smell bad and don't lie is kind of a given. I take that as an unsaid baseline that is so understood by pretty much everyone, it doesn't need saying.

however, I don't care about fidelity, nor do I care if they have money or not. I am happy to pay for dates and holidays. I don't care if they like to fool around at parties, or have dates with long term fwbs they reall care about. As long as their feelings for me are sincere, without dramatics, they put some time aside for me especially, and they are honest/loyal.

You'd think this was a low bar. Apparently not low enough.

[deeds]

I'm flexible on the likes, as everyone is individual and that is interesting to me..
But the women I can't stand to be around are the ones with loud mouths, The ones who carry a chip on their shoulder from their past lovers.And the ones who think their own shit don't stink..

Women like Caroline...

[VintageFemme]

• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Compatible sense of humor

Everything else is negotiable.

[Amulette]

Chemistry creating that feeling of *please* come closer. (The healthy kind)
Devotion, passionately, heart to heart. We *love* our love.
Very loving and expressive, prone to impromptu acts of passion.
I adore purity of heart, and kind, honest expression.
Open-mindedness, free thinker, global spirit, adventurous.
Embodies finesse, a grace of spirit.

Someone who bothers to live an interesting life, unapologetically interesting.Then comes home and shares.

[pumpndude]

For Me;

I have to be attracted to the lady and extremely attracted in what they have to offer from the heart...
Be honest, loving, caring, trusting and are really good in the bedroom...

turn off- they get jealous , there not a whole person, glass is half empty or half full...when I'm in a relationship I only have eyes for that femme....I don't get jealous, that's me..

If there is no trust in a relationship then there is no relationship....

They can't sit down and talk about what's bothering them...instead they give you the silent treatment or yell for no reason....not ok !!

[gotoseagrl]

I can't stick to only 3 either. If only I knew these things before learning them the hard way.

1) Consistency - continue being the person portrayed while getting to know each other. Some things will change after the "honeymoon" period, but the person shouldn't. I don't understand this because I, myself, don't know how to be anything other than what I really am, always ... not just while falling in love. Example ... I don't stop wanting to express my love or feelings. I don't stop pursuing common interests or passions.

2) Honesty

3) Core values and beliefs must be in sync. Not everything about two people will be the same, but I can't survive major clashing differences such as how we view life, in general, relationships, health and how we want to live. Our major differences either have to be complimentary or able to co-exist peacefully. Or else.

4) Common interests - Just a few ordinary ones won't cut it. I am passionate and contemplative about too many things that I need to have in my life that I get along best with someone who actively shares at least some of the major interests I have. Last year I discovered a very enlightening project that helped me narrow everything down to four core things I cannot live without.

5) Be humble. I am humble and old-fashioned, and I can't get along with chaos, arrogance, obsession with material things, total selfishness and anything else that goes against being humble and in tune with what I believe life should be about.

6) Sense of humor - laughter is one simple thing that keeps me going.

7) Love - know the difference between real, mature love and selfish, unhealthy "love" where you mostly love the person because of some one-sided void they fill and what they give you ... instead of for who they are and how well you go together.