Scaring straight women.. rawwrrr... lol

[Talon]

Originally Posted by JAGG

Because you're smart like that ! I can't sneak anything by you. =)

Well....that is true....

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by thedivahrrrself

Oh God, that's the worst! Makes you want to say, "That toddler is nice and plump. I ate one just like him for breakfast this morning. Took forever to bake."

Ah, bigots. Some are entertaining, some make you want to puke, but everywhere you look in Oklahoma, there's another one.

They are not native to Tulsa. They are everywhere you look. All over this country and other countries as well.
I have traveled to many places and people are the same everywhere. Some are nice, some stare , some are rude , etc...
I have lived her for 23 yrs. Never had one single problem. Tulsa has been very good to me. I had more problems in Ca. And Colarado than anywhere.

[JAGG]

Originally Posted by homoe

I so agree! I think their thinking is we have no standards or morales and we'd jump at the chance to sleep with them! Thank you very much, but straight girls keep moving right along!

No kidding . I just want to say don't flatter yourself.

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by JAGG

The are not native to Tulsa. They are everywhere you look. All over this country and other countries as well.
I have traveled to many places and people are the same everywhere. Some are nice, some stare , some are rude , etc...
I have lived her for 23 yrs. Never had one single problem. Tulsa has been very good to me. I had more problems in Ca. And Colarado than anywhere.

True that. I remember having this conversation with a street preacher in Portland, OR. "I thought I left people like you in Oklahoma!" LoL Tulsa is not bad, but my old hometown is pretty awful.

[starryeyes]

Haha I forgot about this incident!! It happened again on the next cruise I was on also, except she told me she " was glad she didn't know I was a lesbian before, or she would have never shared a room with me, but I'm cool" lol. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or complimented for the "cool" part, lmao. Oh well. It's the nature of the beast I suppose!! Good news is I *just* booked a 7 day Alaskan cruise for July, and my roommate is a lesbian too!! Yehaw!!! Actually, it's with my girlfriend and it was 100% free... Well if you don't count the blood, sweat and tears I put into working the ones I did, lol :-) (I get free cruises in exchange for the ones I work)

:-D can't wait!!!

[Justin]

Originally Posted by starryeyes

Haha I forgot about this incident!! It happened again on the next cruise I was on also, except she told me she " was glad she didn't know I was a lesbian before, or she would have never shared a room with me, but I'm cool" lol. I wasn't sure if I should be offended or complimented for the "cool" part, lmao. Oh well. It's the nature of the beast I suppose!! Good news is I *just* booked a 7 day Alaskan cruise for July, and my roommate is a lesbian too!! Yehaw!!! Actually, it's with my girlfriend and it was 100% free... Well if you don't count the blood, sweat and tears I put into working the ones I did, lol :-) (I get free cruises in exchange for the ones I work)

:-D can't wait!!!

I cant wait either hunnie and I will continue to give you extra love and affection to pay for all the blood, sweat and tears . Straight women always think you want them or that your going to corrupt their children

[Quintease]

A straight girl really offended me recently, only she had no idea that she did so.

I went to a networking event and took my husband else I would have known nobody. A woman came up to talk to me and we got along quite well as we were both foreigners. It was during a conversation about our travels that I mentioned my ex wife..

Instantly she changed. She became flirtatious, 'admitted' to me she was bisexual and called me hot, before finally confessing the one time she slept with a woman, it was fun, but she walked away feeling as though something was missing.

I was really offended. She was assuming I'd be interested in her while expressing solidarity with me, yet not actually being sexually attracted to women. I didn't bother to keep in touch.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by ScandalAndy

These days I find myself reluctant to mention those aspects of myself because I feel it invalidates my femme identity. Does fixing a flat tire in heels make me less of a femme? I'm not sure, but I am certainly insecure about it. It's just another thing that causes some of my hetero friends to be reminded that I am "other" than them.

Scandal, You are the boss of your own identity.

If fixing a flat tire feels outside your identity comfort range, that's one thing.

But if fixing a flat tire makes you feel vulnerable to judgment by others—whether they are LGBT or BF folks policing the boundaries of gender expression, or straight people policing the boundaries of what is "other"—the problem is THEM, not you.

Life is hard enough, when we have our identity as home base.

Not even having that, is a kind of homelessness, like not having a place to regroup, lick our wounds, rest, rejuvenate and get centered, so we go out again to face the world.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Quintease

A straight girl really offended me recently, only she had no idea that she did so.

I went to a networking event and took my husband else I would have known nobody. A woman came up to talk to me and we got along quite well as we were both foreigners. It was during a conversation about our travels that I mentioned my ex wife..

Instantly she changed. She became flirtatious, 'admitted' to me she was bisexual and called me hot, before finally confessing the one time she slept with a woman, it was fun, but she walked away feeling as though something was missing.

I was really offended. She was assuming I'd be interested in her while expressing solidarity with me, yet not actually being sexually attracted to women. I didn't bother to keep in touch.

Not to mention, how inappropriate at a networking event! Can you imagine her workplace ethics? Boundaries, people!!!

[Quintease]

Lol, true, except she's an erotic writer

Which kind of made it worse in my eyes.

[thedivahrrrself]

Originally Posted by IslandScout

Scandal, You are the boss of your own identity.

If fixing a flat tire feels outside your identity comfort range, that's one thing.

But if fixing a flat tire makes you feel vulnerable to judgment by others—whether they are LGBT or BF folks policing the boundaries of gender expression, or straight people policing the boundaries of what is "other"—the problem is THEM, not you.

Life is hard enough, when we have our identity as home base.

Not even having that, is a kind of homelessness, like not having a place to regroup, lick our wounds, rest, rejuvenate and get centered, so we go out again to face the world.

I agree. I can change my own tire. I can't do much else with a car, but my dad wasn't about to let me on the road without knowing how to do that. That doesn't mean that if I'm having a flat and a butch is there, I wouldn't rather see hym do it, though, because they look cuter doing it, and tire dirt is hard to get out from under my nails

I may be a femme, but I'm not helpless.

[Ginger]

Originally Posted by Quintease

Lol, true, except she's an erotic writer

Which kind of made it worse in my eyes.

I was thinking about this and realized that the most sexually ethical people I think I've ever met, are those in what many would consider the most kinky or fringe or sex-positive communities.

For example, read the Lesbian Sex Mafia's home page—their setting of ground rules and respectfulness toward play partners or anyone in their community is commendable—and an example I wish more groups would follow.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but the straight women who engaged you in sex talk at a public event was doing so without your consent. Not cool! I'd like to drop her into a sex party and take bets on how little time it would take for them to kick her out.

[ValKyrie]

My best friends husband is terrified that I'm going to "steal" her away from him, now that they know I'm gay. I told him, "honey, I don't have the same taste in women as you do." Gah!

[yotlyolqualli]

It's nice to know that this has happened to other people.

When I came out to myself, and subsequently to my family, church and friends, it wasn't like everyone was in the same room and I only had to say it once. There were many phone calls, many times I had to repeat this over and over and over again.

Growing up, one of my best friends, ultimately became my sister-in-law, for about a year, lol. Now, I would often spend the night at her place, or her at mine and we would share the same bed. So, I have her on the phone, I come out to her............................................... ................................. there's this long pause and I know what's coming, so I said.. "no cathy, I've never thought of you in that way." .................................................. ............. another long pause and then, "why not? Don't you think I'm pretty?" I was between a rock and a hard place. No I did not find her pretty. She was not my type and even if she HAD been my type, the whole fucking and marrying my brother, well................. ew. I simply ignored her questions and asked how my niece and nephew were doing.. lol.

Another friend who was married, approached me with a proposition. Seems her husband wanted to "watch her and I" have sex.

Ok, here's the deal and I DID tell her this, "Tracy, I am not into casual sex, I am not interested in married straight women, you are not my type and while some people boldly go where no man has gone before? I will not go where man HAS RECENTLY gone before!" We both laughed and she was cool with it, but I still felt offended that she would even approach me to ask someting like that.

As for the entire femme and what defines a femme?

Even here, the idea that I've done the things I've done, throws some butch women off. I designed and built a deck for my ex. I dug and poured the footers, cut the boards with a circular saw, even leveled off the cement footers with a concrete blade. I fixed the gas line on my sisters van, I replaced car doors, the front door to our house. I chopped wood for many many years before moving into my apartment. I miss the country but I do NOT miss having to build a fire in the mornings!

What bothers me is the whole perception of what a femme can and cannot do. If you're seriously questioning if my tool belt is bigger than yours? Then maybe I am not the femme for you. I'm not afraid to get my hands dirty, not someone who worries about her nails, not someone who wears dresses and heels all the time, if ever. But all these things do not make me any less femme than any other femme out there.

[always2late]

I posted earlier in the thread about my experience with one straight female co-worker which was much like the experiences others in the thread have described. I call it the "Now that I know you're gay, I'm going to loudly proclaim my heterosexuality in every conversation...and yet get offended if you don't find me attractive" reaction.

That was just one experience with one woman...however, I have begun to realize that I have become the "resident lesbian" at work. Apparently I am now the spokesperson/fountain of all things gay. I have co-workers ask me the most bizarre questions...concerning lesbians, sex, gay men, etc... Has anyone else experienced this? Random questions that you could not possibly know the answer to, but are apparently SUPPOSED to know just because they concern some aspect of homosexuality? Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against curiosity, or a sincere desire to learn...but seriously, some of the questions are totally off the wall!

[Quintease]

Originally Posted by yotlyolqualli

"I am not interested in married straight women, you are not my type"

Oh me too! I am not into straight women of any type! I have only once accidentally tried to chat up a straight woman. They just don't do it for me at. all. Which would make it even more astonishing that they would automatically assume I fancied them.

And I agree, they are disrespectful. The amount of women who have tried to tempt me into bed while telling me I'm just going through a phase/ all girls fancy other girls, it doesn't make me gay/ they're sure I'll find the right man one day/ sleeping with women isn't really sex. Pah!

[Mr Nice Guy]

I don't scare straight women. I attract them. Sometimes I wonder if I have a sign on my head that says, " all straight women or want to be a Lesbian apply here". This has been my life and I'm not interested in bringing you out.

[morningstar55]

Originally Posted by always2late

I posted earlier in the thread about my experience with one straight female co-worker which was much like the experiences others in the thread have described. I call it the "Now that I know you're gay, I'm going to loudly proclaim my heterosexuality in every conversation...and yet get offended if you don't find me attractive" reaction.

That was just one experience with one woman...however, I have begun to realize that I have become the "resident lesbian" at work. Apparently I am now the spokesperson/fountain of all things gay. I have co-workers ask me the most bizarre questions...concerning lesbians, sex, gay men, etc... Has anyone else experienced this? Random questions that you could not possibly know the answer to, but are apparently SUPPOSED to know just because they concern some aspect of homosexuality? Don't get me wrong...I have nothing against curiosity, or a sincere desire to learn...but seriously, some of the questions are totally off the wall!

what are some of the bizarre questions??

[always2late]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

what are some of the bizarre questions??

Well...the questions that I find most bizarre have to do with other people, or generalizations. For example, I get questions about Lindsey Lohan's sexuality, questions about Chaz being transgender, etc.. And the questions are usually something that NO ONE, except the subject of the question, could answer! But because the topic falls under the LGBT umbrella...they seem to think that I SHOULD have the answer simply because I'm gay.