05-08-2011, 07:42 PM | #21 | |
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One of my good friends is a Married lesbian as she calls it. She is married to an amazing man and she has a girlfriend whom is also fem. This partnership works for them. Doesn't matter it's the preference of each person as to what they like. |
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05-08-2011, 07:44 PM | #22 |
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05-08-2011, 08:29 PM | #23 |
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Lets put a couple of misconceptions to rest shall we..
Male does not nor has never as far as I know been about being Butch. Butch is a 3d gender, except when it isn't. Not ALL Butches LOOK masculine, nor do ALL Femmes LOOK feminine, except when they do and if they want to. You have some kind of messed up generalizations going on here from your posts that perhaps you should do some reading on this site to get some since of where these thoughts are coming from. Again welcome to The Planet, and I hope you will explore not just the things that make us different, but those that make us a community.
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05-08-2011, 08:47 PM | #24 |
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Whenever I see a thread about "straight women and butches" -- it makes me twitch. (Haven't read the posts - so nothing personal.)
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05-08-2011, 08:56 PM | #25 |
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I think a more fitting question would be...what is YOUR fascination with straight women? I mean...with a world full of beautiful queer, gay, femme, lesbian, girls, grrls (and any other id's I may have left out).
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05-08-2011, 09:27 PM | #26 | |
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This thread feels like a shit-stirring thread. Haven't we done this one before?
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05-08-2011, 10:09 PM | #27 |
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If the butch thinks it's cool cause s/he's converting or taking women away from men, it's squicky. Otherwise, who cares? If people find each other, i am all for it.
A lot of femmes -- and butches -- were once straight. i guess it is weird to say one has only dated straight women. Maybe the butch lives in the middle of no where or somethin. Who knows. |
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05-08-2011, 10:23 PM | #28 | |
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Perhaps I missed the intent of the thread? Are we talking about dating self-identifying straight women and why they are attracted to butches? Or are we talking about dating people who are questioning?
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05-08-2011, 10:39 PM | #29 |
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I agree with this. And I agree with what blush brings up about the fact that many of us (femmes & butches) went through questioning in our lives.
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05-08-2011, 11:01 PM | #30 | |
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Basically it's not clear to me why this butch is asking the question. It almost seems as if s/he's bragging. Dating a straight woman is not a bad thing in itself though. And no one has a right to tell a straight person s/he is not straight even if they fuck same sex now and again. It's the same with dykes. i personally would date a straight woman if she floated my boat although that wasn't always true. Straight people are less narrow than they used to be, seems like. i certainly date and/or serve bisexual women. i don't know. It does seem like a pointless thread just asking us to make some of the usual comments. |
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05-08-2011, 11:03 PM | #31 |
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Off the top of my head, I don't recall the topic being discussed on this site before and even if it has, the OP is a new member and might not be aware that the conversation has taken place before in our community.
I have known many butches who date straight women, including a few who will only date women who ID as straight. I have dated, and had LTRs with, straight women. I can't speak for them, but in my experience the draw was probably a combination of several different things including the taboo factor and the "best of both worlds" factor. On my end, it was never about intentionally seeking out straight women, it was just something that happened in the same way that I have met, dated and have had relationships with any other person. |
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05-09-2011, 12:50 AM | #32 |
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Oh dear,
It seems this has gone a bit twisted with people jumping on the defensive. This is a discussion board is it not? Hmmm maybe I shouldn't ask questions that seemed to have hit a nerve .. My bad .. Maybe the pond is too big and we won't connect. Haven't been on the scene for a long time so I don't know of all the genders,id's etc. And it's not a shit stirring thread .. Nor was I asking because I get kicks out of turning straight women. I date them because they the gay pond in which we all fish over here is tiny,itsmore of a puddle. Think of the spider gram on the l word , America has a huge lake in which you fish. Seems some folk like to jump on newbies .. This is why some forums are cliquey.
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05-09-2011, 12:53 AM | #33 |
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Oh and for the record ..
I don't know any Americans, I have never been to America .. I thought this might be a good place to break the ice. Maybe I shouldn't paddle into fast waters without a canoe or paddle.
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05-09-2011, 01:17 AM | #34 | |
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I guess I never realized that there was a fascination. Is it done a lot in your area? (you may have already addressed it by saying you have a "small dating pool" in your area)
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On this side of the pond, some will even argue over "agreeing to disagree". LOL For the most part you can have a good discussion. After youve been around a while, you will just learn to ignore some, and engage w/ others. It may just take everyone a while to get used to the cultural diffs.. Do stay and feel welcomed. |
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05-09-2011, 01:23 AM | #35 |
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^ thank you I appreciate that.
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05-09-2011, 05:56 AM | #36 |
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Hey Merlin -
It's not really that the forums are all that "cliquey" but I do think people on these boards are super protective of the Queer space and are pretty watchful for the glorification of dating straight women. (not saying you are doing that) In years past, many Femmes (and Butches too!) have felt erased and devalued when folks talk about dating straight women as if it is the apex of all things hot. Especially in a space where Femmes want to be seen and appreciated (because let's face it, we're mostly invisible out in the world) I do think there are cultural differences, especially in a microcasm such as this site where many folks have been having these discussions for years. Either way, I'm interested in what you have to say! Medusa
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05-09-2011, 08:02 AM | #37 |
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Hi Merlin, and welcome to the site
I think it's a question of defining "straight"... Would a truly, 100% straight woman be interested in having a relationship with a butch? I think not. It might be a matter of where you found her on her own personal growth curve. Most people (including myself) would have called me straight until I was in my 40s. For a variety of reasons, including some I wasn't even aware of myself for a long time, I pushed down my own sexuality and went along with what I was "supposed" to do and want. It took me a long time to come out, even to myself. Maybe that's true for them too...
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05-09-2011, 08:19 AM | #38 | |
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I don't see it as a specific fascination. People like who they like, and I don't think we can generalise about butches and straight women any more than any other queer group and straight people. |
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05-09-2011, 08:50 AM | #39 | |
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Nice to meet you. I'm an Irish expatriate. There are cultural differences, indeed. Whatever you do, don't start talking about willets, thews or lallies. Someone's bound to call a sharpy. I've never slept with a straight women. If they slept with me, they ain't. Sláinte, Chazz |
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05-09-2011, 09:09 AM | #40 |
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Merlin, welcome to BFP!
Please don't think you are being picked on, a lot of people just read the title of a thread and then jump....it happens to all us! Keeps us on our toes! Butches and straight women? It takes all kinds. For some, yes it may be easier to be seen with a Butch who passes, and some may not really be straight, just don't know they are queer yet? Best to you and don't get discouraged here! I have visited London several times and communication is a bit different, but definitely workable and fun!
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