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Old 01-11-2016, 11:19 PM   #41
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True. I don't think a couple has to stick to their so-called roles to be romantic with each other.

This butch also likes to pull out my chair when we're going to eat and that's very sweet, but I think it may get old after awhile. Sometimes a girl just wants to pull out her own chair and sit down...
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Old 01-12-2016, 03:23 AM   #42
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I don't mind people opening doors for me, but it's definitely a habit for me to reach for it as well. I hold the door for men, women, and children.

There is another thing. Some guy was staring at us holding hands in a department store and the butch started to chuckle and stare him down. I mean, don't you think that's a dangerous thing to do? I don't feel like getting assaulted or worse because someone was staring at us.
I was taught to open doors for everyone-- but that is because I was raised as a workingclass girl -- taught to serve everyone. When I am dating a Femme and open doors for her, that is just ONE of MANY ways to show her I see her, and want to please her. It's one of many ways, so I don't have to get to weird about that one piarticular action.

Regarding the incident in the store, I believe part of power dynamics is: Who gets to decide WHEN there is a power dynamic happening? I wouldn't choose to engage in a power struggle with some unstable fool in a store. I would ignore him (probably not even notice him.) i do think it could get dangerous to upset someone who is threatened by other Shoppers in a STORE. An unwell person like that needs professional help. I would also caution you, Angeltoes, how much reinforcement does this butch need, and are you willing/able to give it?

Remember that scene from Game Of Thrones, where Joffrey says "I am THE KING!" And his father the badass Lannister says "Anyone who really IS the king would NEVER feel they have to say that." That can be applied to butches, transmen (and performed masculinity by cis men) - if someone has to earnestly draw attention to all that they are trying to be, and all the ways they "prove" it, they arent really secure in whatever it is. That's unattractibve.
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:17 AM   #43
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Recently I had a butch tell me they felt like a 'loser' when I opened the door for them. I honestly wasn't trying to prove a point. I got to the door first, so I opened it and held it open. I'm totally out of practice and don't remember the 'rules' anymore. How do other butchers feel about the door thing?
I would be a gentleman and thank you. I am confident enough to let a woman open a door for Me. And even if I did feel annoyed about (not happening), I sure wouldn't tell her about it.
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:28 AM   #44
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Do you like being flirted with? Of course. It lets Me know she is into Me.
How much? I like My women classy.
How forward? If she decides that she needs to lace everything sexually or come on strong to get and keep My attention, she is wrong. Sometimes it is all in what she doesn't say that keeps My attention.
Do you prefer someone to go all out in their own way or do you prefer a girl that just is completely casual? I want her to be her. I don't want to wonder on a second date where that woman went. There was a reason I asked her on a date and if she feels like she has to "up her game" to keep Me interested, that never lasts for too long and then it jig is up. It also depends on the date. I will admit a first date might be a 4 star restaurant so I expect her to know how to behave there. OR it might be a picnic on the beach looking for sea glass. Bottom line: she should just be her. I wouldn't have asked her out if she was someone else.
Do you like to be asked out? I am confident enough to be flattered.
Do you like your arm being touched and leaning in or do you prefer to do all the work? I don't want to do all the "work" ... she should let Me know she is glad to be with Me. That calls for interaction and engaging Me in conversation and by her actions.
Do you like her to be agreeable or do you like her playful and sassy? Can I choose both?
How would she behave on a date that would pop your clogs? All depends on if I want My clogs popped. LOL. I have no idea what that means so I will need clarification.
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Old 01-12-2016, 06:35 AM   #45
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Originally Posted by Angeltoes View Post
True. I don't think a couple has to stick to their so-called roles to be romantic with each other.

This butch also likes to pull out my chair when we're going to eat and that's very sweet, but I think it may get old after awhile. Sometimes a girl just wants to pull out her own chair and sit down...
Given the initial post about the holding of the door, it sounds like this butch may be old school. If so, that's a part of them and is likely not going to change. If you don't like it or can't deal with it, then you need to have that discussion with them.
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Old 01-12-2016, 09:34 AM   #46
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"Popped your clogs" means really "did it" for you.
For example, what does it for me, is people being confident enough to make a fool of themselves a little to make me laugh. That *really* charms me... Like my exwife when we first met picking up one of the heels I kicked at her in the kitchen of a house party and shoving her face in it, sniffing and acting virile after sniffing it. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Then she put them on and pranced about the place posing for people.
I totally was sold on spending the rest of the entire night talking to her till 8am. She didn't mind me buying her a beer, she teased me till I grabbed the hat off her head and beat her off her chair with it.

Another ex to make me cheer up when I was sad, was top naked, wrapped up in cling film (her body mod of scarification on her stomach was healing, she had got it done that morning), popped on her motor cycle helmet, got on a chair in front of her huge painting of the moon and yelled "I'm a space man!" "Floating in space!" "Whooooooah!" Etc till I started giggling because it was so stupid. I started falling for her at that point.

That's what "pops my clogs" - being able to make fun of yourself, being able to be confident enough to be an idiot clown to make me smile... That softens me. Makes me do the "D'awwwws"

Is that clearer?

Or it means to die. LOL
I've seen it used as "to die for" or "to die"

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Old 01-12-2016, 09:45 AM   #47
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"Popped your clogs" means really "did it" for you.
For example, what does it for me, is people being confident enough to make a fool of themselves a little to make me laugh. That *really* charms me... Like my exwife when we first met picking up one of the heels I kicked at her in the kitchen of a house party and shoving her face in it, sniffing and acting virile after sniffing it. I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Then she put them on and pranced about the place posing for people.
I totally was sold on spending the rest of the entire night talking to her till 8am. She didn't mind me buying her a beer, she teased me till I grabbed the hat off her head and beat her off her chair with it.

Another ex to make me cheer up when I was sad, was top naked, wrapped up in cling film (her body mod of scarification on her stomach was healing, she had got it done that morning), popped on her motor cycle helmet, got on a chair in front of her huge painting of the moon and yelled "I'm a space man!" "Floating in space!" "Whooooooah!" Etc till I started giggling because it was so stupid. I started falling for her at that point.

That's what "pops my clogs" - being able to make fun of yourself, being able to be confident enough to be an idiot clown to make me smile... That softens me. Makes me do the "D'awwwws"

Is that clearer?

Or it means to die. LOL
I've seen it used as "to die for" or "to die"
Not my question I know but....

It is indeed clear to me now.
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Old 01-12-2016, 02:29 PM   #48
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Like the fascinating beast I am.
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Old 01-13-2016, 08:48 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by Angeltoes View Post

There is another thing. Some guy was staring at us holding hands in a department store and the butch started to chuckle and stare him down. I mean, don't you think that's a dangerous thing to do? I don't feel like getting assaulted or worse because someone was staring at us.

If some guy stared at me & the wife like he wanted trouble..believe me,he found it.My stare is loooong and hard...actually,my wife is the dangerous one.
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:26 PM   #50
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bumping this because I see so many femmes posting in theirs
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:49 PM   #51
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I am old fashioned and like to pick my date up and take her home. I like it when we both dress up for each other. I will be a gentleman and I would like her to be a lady. Etiquette and manners are important to me so I hope she is polite and uses her manners. No cell phones except to take pictures of us, our food, and maybe show off pictures of her garden or grand kids. 😊

I love good conversation and would love it she enlightened me on her life, her hopes, and her goals. I will share mine too but don't want to hog the conversation.

I hope that she is pleased to spend time with me and shows it by being present in everyway.

So that is it be present, have manners, and enjoy good conversation. A big plus is a great sense of humor.
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:52 PM   #52
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I am old fashioned and like to pick my date up and take her home. I like it when we both dress up for each other. I will be a gentleman and I would like her to be a lady. Etiquette and manners are important to me so I hope she is polite and uses her manners. No cell phones except to take pictures of us, our food, and maybe show off pictures of her garden or grand kids. 😊

I love good conversation and would love it she enlightened me on her life, her hopes, and her goals. I will share mine too but don't want to hog the conversation.

I hope that she is pleased to spend time with me and shows it by being present in everyway.

So that is it be present, have manners, and enjoy good conversation. A big plus is a great sense of humor.
Hell bro if you weren't a butch I'd date ya....
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:53 PM   #53
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Hell bro if you weren't a butch I'd date ya....
Haha! Thanks.
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Old 07-15-2017, 01:58 PM   #54
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I am old fashioned and like to pick my date up and take her home. I like it when we both dress up for each other. I will be a gentleman and I would like her to be a lady. Etiquette and manners are important to me so I hope she is polite and uses her manners. No cell phones except to take pictures of us, our food, and maybe show off pictures of her garden or grand kids. 😊

I love good conversation and would love it she enlightened me on her life, her hopes, and her goals. I will share mine too but don't want to hog the conversation.

I hope that she is pleased to spend time with me and shows it by being present in everyway.

So that is it be present, have manners, and enjoy good conversation. A big plus is a great sense of humor.
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