09-03-2016, 01:30 AM | #1421 |
Senior Member
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N/A Join Date: Jan 2016
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Pet Ownership
Finding this while oneline searching for a card for someone who's not feeling well - This is SO Monte the Magnificent (my cat) when I'm sleeping and he wants his food Ta Now!
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09-07-2016, 09:58 PM | #1422 |
Mentally Delicious
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Queer High Femme, thank you very much Preferred Pronoun?:
Mme. Relationship Status:
Married to JD. Join Date: Oct 2009
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The word "titty" said with a quasi-British accent.
(you KNOW you just tried it!)
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09-08-2016, 04:19 PM | #1423 |
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Butch Join Date: Feb 2012
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My 80yr old Mother when I picked her up today to go for lunch who told me that she "had trimmed her bush right back" when I asked her what she had done this morning.
She's an avid gardener but unfortunately I have the sense of humour of a teenage boy I may have just laughed again to myself just now...sad, I know. |
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09-16-2016, 11:06 AM | #1424 |
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married Join Date: Nov 2014
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This...
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09-17-2016, 09:33 PM | #1425 |
Infamous Member
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Loved Caregiver Join Date: Dec 2009
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Cracked me up
Today my sweetheart read me a story from CNN about a foreign diplomat that was attacked in a restaurant by 2 men "wielding a cream pie".
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09-17-2016, 09:42 PM | #1426 |
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she Relationship Status:
single and very content this way... Join Date: Sep 2011
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My Mom called and:
Mom: whatcha doing? Me: watching the ballgame Mom: huh, the ballgame's over! Me: Well, no it's not over, I'm watching it. Mom: Well, I was watching it too, why did I turn it off? Me: I dunno Ma, why did ya turn it off? Mom: I dunno.. I gotta go watch the game... bye.... click! |
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09-20-2016, 07:49 AM | #1427 |
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She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014
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* * *Joy and Sorrow are Inseparable |
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09-20-2016, 11:08 AM | #1428 |
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just me...imperfect but warm-hearted me Preferred Pronoun?:
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I am alright and still smiling - keeping my eyes on what lasts and matters Join Date: Dec 2010
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Kitty inside the house lining up with a lizard on windowsil outside the house... lol
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09-20-2016, 11:10 AM | #1429 |
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Me, myself and I Join Date: Sep 2011
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My nephew, Jefferson who just turned 6 on Friday. He came home from kindergarten yesterday and told his mom (my sister) not to vote for Ronald Trump. He said Ronald Trump is racist. He doesn't like brown people (my nephews are half Pacific Islanders) and he doesn't like gays. He said Ronald Trump would make Aunt Ro (me) leave the country.
Not sure where he got this information but it definitely cracked me up! The things kids say. |
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09-20-2016, 03:11 PM | #1430 |
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lesbian femme Join Date: Oct 2014
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We had our big annual evaluation at work today and yesterday. When our Contracting Officer's Rep. wrapped up and left today, we were all in a state of celebration over how well we think the evaluation went. Hooray!
But I was reminded of how hilariously awkward high-fives can be when I witnessed one that went to the tune of something like this... And since I am so easily amused, here are some other pretty funny high five fails... |
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09-23-2016, 09:26 AM | #1431 |
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Don't try to explain yourself to stupid people. You're not the jackass whisperer. |
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09-23-2016, 04:28 PM | #1432 |
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Reading all the July comments on FB saying how bad the Patriots are going to do these first four games, 3 down and 1 to go.
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09-24-2016, 09:46 AM | #1433 |
Infamous Member
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Biological female. Lesbian. Relationship Status:
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Sounds like a viable plan to me.
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09-25-2016, 12:43 PM | #1434 |
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single and very content this way... Join Date: Sep 2011
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Watching my grandson in his very first t-ball game. His first at bat, he hit the ball and ran to the pitchers mound and ran around it twice, then he kinda ran around all willy nilly until a coach caught him and sent him to first base. lol
When the other team was batting, he took his glove off, tossed it on the ground and played in the dirt the entire time, even throwing a few handfuls in the air... lol His next at bat he hit the ball and ran to third base.... lol None of the kids did any better and it was adorable to watch. Did I mention that he just turned 3 last month? |
09-27-2016, 08:01 AM | #1435 |
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She is my sunrise and sunset. Join Date: Nov 2014
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French Maids Outfit
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11-10-2016, 09:08 AM | #1436 |
Infamous Member
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cleverly disguised as a responsible adult* Preferred Pronoun?:
wild woman Relationship Status:
No, thank you. Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: in my heart I'm going to Carolina...but I'm in MA for now
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My kid.
Yesterday I texted her to let her know I was coming home to get my sneakers that I needed for work.. She retorts with " ok ma. Ill be sure to break up the party and send the strippers home" To which I reply...that's EXACTLY why I let you know I'm on my way. I'm not my mother. I don't want to know my kid's business!
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11-10-2016, 04:09 PM | #1437 |
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Seth Meyers
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11-19-2016, 10:52 AM | #1438 |
Senior Member
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While I was babysitting... my grandson Cayden, who will be 2 in Dec kept knocking his sippy cup to the floor and saying.. get it maw maw.. after 3 times of this, I reached over and knocked the sippy cup to the floor and it rolled under the couch... He was shocked!!.. got in the floor , looked under the couch and said... my cuppy.... jumped up and shook his finger at me and said "NO NO... YOU'RE A BAD BOY MAW MAW".....lmao...
The best part is I got it all on video!!!!!! |
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11-23-2016, 07:37 AM | #1439 |
Infamous Member
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"I love the internet. It's like: going for short walk, getting distracted by a butterfly, and waking up in Hannibal Lecter's basement" Michael Shanks
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12-01-2016, 08:22 PM | #1440 |
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Listening to my best friend tell several outrageously funny stories today, and both of us laughing so hard that they could hardly finish their story-telling. We cracked up so loud, while sitting in the truck, that I think bystanders were ready to call the cops on us for public intoxication!!
I needed that belly laugh!
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She has been through hell, so believe me when I say, fear her when she looks into a fire and smiles. ~E.Corona~ |
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