The Fat Positive Lounge

[nycfem]

Totally! All sizes welcome here!
Nice to see ya

Originally Posted by sharonsuburbia

can a thinnish feme plop down here?

[*Anya*]

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

One of my all-time favorites and on my "walking" playlist.

Thanks for showing the vid! It adds a lot to the song

[Soft*Silver]

I am hosting a Spice of Life party for my customers at my store.

I have 35 people signed up and most are bringing friends.

My financial mentors at the university and BVR were shocked at first that I was throwing this party.

I was shocked they didnt get it.

I looked right back at them, with my own shocked face, and asked them
"What, fat women cant be sexy? We arent sensual? Don't you think this goes along with the mission of my store? That stereotypes abound and this is one of them?"

I am amazed I just have 35 signed up....lol

[Soft*Silver]

so tonight was the Spice of Life party at my Pretty & Plus Store.We had about 20 people there, all plus size ladies. Some had never been to one of these and it showed. They were nervous at first. But as we cackled and roared, a magnificent ladies of pleasure, the virgins eased into it and became One with us!

I looked around the room while we were laughing loudly, and smiled. Women of ample size, glorying in their sensuality, enjoying the company of other women who were unashamed of how they looked.

During snacks, this was actually brought up. One said she had gone to a party like this before, but felt very uncomfortable in a group of mostly very thin, very young ladies. Even tho she herself was young too, she felt she couldnt compete sexually with thin women. A GREAT discussion followed, with women sharing their stories, past and present. Our demonstrator was very young, and also plus, and she listened aptly.

I got squeals when I asked if the glass penis with the wide base could be used in a strap on. It cant. The wide base isnt what I was thinking it would be. I did get one of their glass ones, and cant wait to get it to use!

I love love love the magic that is happening...one lady cried at the end,as we were all parting. She said a year ago, she was truly agoraphobic and no one could get her to leave her house. She said, "look at me now! I'm at a sex toy party and not afraid!"

Sometimes my life is really small and I feel like I am not part of the bigger world. And then something like this happens and I feel like my world couldnt get much bigger....

[nycfem]

Miss Tia, your stories are a delight to share in, thanks so much!

[sharonsuburbia]

Originally Posted by nycfembbw

Totally! All sizes welcome here!
Nice to see ya

nice to ee you too -

[LeftWriteFemme]

[nycfem]

"Telling fat people they ought to be thin is about as helpful as telling gay people they should be straight"
article by PAUL CAMPOS below (love him!):

http://www.salon.com/writer/paul_campos/

[SaltyButch]

So here's a question is this thread for femme's only or can a stocky butch be part of it also, I think some have come to believe that butch's don't have the same insecurities that femme's do in regards to weight.

I have struggled with my weight all my life, and tried and tried to maintain my athletic body to no avail, and now just try to keep a healthy weight. The thing is that for years I thought that women wanted those fine toned athletic bodies and wouldn't give me the time of day, nevermind want me sexually, or so it seemed.

It wasn't until I actually met some women who were ecstatic that I wasn't a slim Jim and embraced my voluptuousness and in doing so made me feel more comfortable about me.

I say all this only to acknowledge and support this thread in letting people know that although we may not be society's "norm"...what we look like is the norm for us and we are dang proud of it. I find BBW women some of the most confident and sexiest women around, and some would be surprised at how agile some BBW women can be...I know I was...."w".

Thank you for this thread and enlightening the masses.

[nycfem]

SaltyButch, butches are more than welcome on this thread! And whether someone is fat, thin, or somewhere in the middle, everyone is welcome. Your post was right on point. I appreciate what you have to say very much.

I understand what you have to say about worrying about meeting others' expectations in the dating world. That's why I but "bbw" in my name. At the time I was single, and I wanted whomever might be interested in dating to know right away that if they wanted someone thin they were barking up the wrong tree

Originally Posted by SaltyButch

So here's a question is this thread for femme's only or can a stocky butch be part of it also, I think some have come to believe that butch's don't have the same insecurities that femme's do in regards to weight.

I have struggled with my weight all my life, and tried and tried to maintain my athletic body to no avail, and now just try to keep a healthy weight. The thing is that for years I thought that women wanted those fine toned athletic bodies and wouldn't give me the time of day, nevermind want me sexually, or so it seemed.

It wasn't until I actually met some women who were ecstatic that I wasn't a slim Jim and embraced my voluptuousness and in doing so made me feel more comfortable about me.

I say all this only to acknowledge and support this thread in letting people know that although we may not be society's "norm"...what we look like is the norm for us and we are dang proud of it. I find BBW women some of the most confident and sexiest women around, and some would be surprised at how agile some BBW women can be...I know I was...."w".

Thank you for this thread and enlightening the masses.

[SaltyButch]

Marisa, I understand your point, my reference to "healthy" is what I deem healthy for me, I have long given up trying to appease others in that regard and live solely by the opinion that truly matters...Mine.

[nycfem]

I agree about binary thinking. People can be fat positive AND health positive. They don't need to oppose each other, same as we wouldn't say "pretty but fat." Some people believe that dieting, most of which involves yo-yoing, is actually very unhealthy for the body. I also want to add that people on diets are welcome to be on this thread. It's not about saying, "You have to take this position." It's just about providing a space that explores a different perspective and offers a reprieve from pro diet talk. I feel healthiest when i am not obsessing about the numbers on a scale or worrying over everything I eat. I treat my body most kindly when I am not constantly obsessing about it, as we are taught to do in a patriarchal culture. First and foremost to me, fat is a feminist issue.

[nycfem]

Hope everyone's having a great weekend! And remember:
Like anything referred to as "Muffin Top" could ever be a bad thing!

[lettertodaddy]

This year life threw me a bit of a curve health-wise. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (on top of the osteoarthritis I already have), and it seems the RA may be to blame for nearly closing off one of the carotid arteries in my neck, which makes my blood pressure skyrocket. As a result, I signed up for Weight Watchers again about 10 days ago, just to try to ease my joints and to help my blood pressure go back to normal.

I'm conflicted because I've been fat my whole life, and I've always considered myself a fat positive person, yet here I am giving money to the diet industry. I feel dirty, like I'm betraying fat positive politics even when I know taking off 10% of my body weight will make a tremendous difference to the pain I experience.

Have any of you ever gone through that? Having to lose weight for physical reasons (I can't bring myself to say for 'health' reasons) and feeling bad about it?

[nycfem]

First of all, I love that song in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane!

On a serious note, about your post, I certainly can relate to what you are saying. While I've not done Weight Watchers, I consider it one of the safer programs around. I think using a program like WW and losing 1-2 pounds per week is generally thought to be the safer way to go when it comes to dieting. Well, WW calls it a "lifestyle change," but I think we can safely say that if one is counting points, one is dieting! . I think a 10% weight loss sounds like a very reasonable goal. I appreciate your honesty in your conflicting feelings.

One reason I started this thread was because I was so disturbed by hearing people describe very low calorie diets (e.g. 500-800 calories a day, as well as injecting pregnancy hormones) as healthy. I believe that rarely contributes to long term weight loss or to health in general. I believe that in the long run such programs generally lead to malnutrition and a host of other medical problems. I also rarely believe that diet pills and weight loss surgery, particularly the more invasive permanent types, are healthy. I also am wary of people online congratulating one another for losing weight. We really don't know if they are bulimic or anorexic, and I think it's particularly scary when people lose a lot of weight in a short period of time. That can contribute to many health problems and also have the long term (e.g. five year) side effect of significant weight gain. If someone is more active and is eating healthier and that is what they want, great, but let's not automatically assume someone's weight loss is a healthy thing. As women, we are taught to assume that, but as a feminist I questioned it and came out strongly as believing that someone's weight does not always correspond to someone's health. I believe that one's health is much better served by considering the big picture of one's life, not just the numbers on the scale.

I think it's very possible to be fat positive and also lose a little weight at a healthy pace. I believe in Health at Every Size (HAES), and what this means to me is that one doesn't use "weight loss" as a proxy for health. Instead, if one seeks a healthy mind, body, and soul, one does healthy things for oneself, in the area of exercise, eating, and being kind to oneself. Part of being kind to myself was to start this thread, a place where people can celebrate themselves and love themselves where they are now, regardless of whether they are working on new health goals or not. I do not believe thin equals healthy any more than I believe that fat equals unhealthy. I believe that it's all very individual.

Thank you for posting. Sometimes I get a little lonely in here

Originally Posted by lettertodaddy

This year life threw me a bit of a curve health-wise. I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis (on top of the osteoarthritis I already have), and it seems the RA may be to blame for nearly closing off one of the carotid arteries in my neck, which makes my blood pressure skyrocket. As a result, I signed up for Weight Watchers again about 10 days ago, just to try to ease my joints and to help my blood pressure go back to normal.

I'm conflicted because I've been fat my whole life, and I've always considered myself a fat positive person, yet here I am giving money to the diet industry. I feel dirty, like I'm betraying fat positive politics even when I know taking off 10% of my body weight will make a tremendous difference to the pain I experience.

Have any of you ever gone through that? Having to lose weight for physical reasons (I can't bring myself to say for 'health' reasons) and feeling bad about it?

[LeftWriteFemme]

Hey, has this been posted in here yet?


http://www.dominodollhouse.com/index...&category_id=1

[nycfem]

I went shopping at the Plus size section of Forever 21. Big thumbs down imo. They're highest size is a 3X and seems equivalent to a size 22. That's quite small for a "3X." That should not be highest size in plus size imo!

I love looking at real Plus Size women in fashion online but am wary to buy clothes online. i think the fit is so important. I guess I'm picky! But I love looking!

[lettertodaddy]

I want to love Domino Dollhouse, but I think I'm just too old for their clothing. There's nothing there I could wear to work, and I'm not the type to wear those items for play. I wish I was, though. I know lots of people who love their clothes!

[BBinNYC]

I feel neglectful in not posting here sooner because I think this thread is important for so many reasons.

First, it's a safe space for fat BFP folks to discuss body issues and health without judgment and condemnation.

Second, it correctly points out how dieting and weight loss is used in our culture to attack women and hurt their self-esteem--AKA Fat is a Feminist Issue!

Third, it separates the often tangled threads of weight, dieting, exercise, healthy eating and other health issues.

It is very important for people to work on their health needs, whether that's more physical activity or getting chemicals out of our food and drinks. One thing I've done is to eliminate any artificial sweeteners from my diet because I think they have an adverse affect on my health. I have a "harm reduction" attitude toward meat, only eating it at restaurants or parties, but not at home for the most part. I also try as much as possible to eat whole grains.

None of this is about weight.

To be fat positive doesn't mean one never wants to lose weight or isn't trying to do so. It means that one is striving to be healthy in whatever way makes sense given our individual health needs and issues.

I hope BFP becomes more fat accepting and sees that as part of the feminist politics that are so importantly expressed in many other areas of the site. It would be sad to see folks here caving into patriarchal values on this topic while insisting on feminist perspectives everywhere else.

BBinNYC

[Soft*Silver]

being fat positive doesnt mean we cant make decisions to live longer and healthier. I have customers who come into my store every day who are in TOPS, Weight Watchers and have undergone bariatric surgery. The love that I love who they are RIGHT NOW. I dont care what size or number they are. What I want for them, is to make good choices about everything in their life. If they are ok at a size 26, then I support them. If their blood pressure go sky rocketing or they develop diabetes and need to diet, I support them. If they want to throw their food up to lose weight, no, I dont support this but I support THEM and will help them find healthier alternatives if their need is to lose weight but I will insist that they are ok as person no matter what numbers accompany them NOW.

My shop is doing very well. I have been so busy with the shop, and the house that I have not had time for much threading. My life has changed because of this shop. My customers fill my life. When I look back just a year ago, I am amazed at the huge impact this shop has made in my life.