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Old 04-18-2012, 02:07 PM   #241
puddin'
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"i have the part. i'll come by and put it in this afternoon."
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Old 04-18-2012, 10:01 PM   #242
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"I have to feel it first to see if it's old"

(He was talking about buying a bagel or not)
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Old 04-21-2012, 04:08 PM   #243
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Default Totally unintentional...These quotes flew out of my mouth while replanting today...

"So...Wayne, do you want to be on your knees, or using the hoe?"

"Hey Scott, can you reach behind me and grab that little bush? It's my turn to be down in the dirt, and Wayne took off to help them with the hoe."


Not one person batted an eye. My vanilla co-workers are amazing, and have couth and stuff.
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Old 04-22-2012, 03:28 PM   #244
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Default while puttin' da bbq togetha...

"it's so tiny, it's really hard to screw!"
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:36 PM   #245
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my honey and I were cracking up over the sign "local honey"

... and then we couldn't just stop there. Peaches and melons got taken out of context too! hehe.
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Old 05-12-2012, 10:27 AM   #246
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Default On pogo.com with my Handsome Butch

"Baby, I got us a room, and a long one..."
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Old 06-04-2012, 12:28 AM   #247
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so i'm taking with my baby on the phone about cell coverage and about how i believe the reason for my sometimes poor coverage is due to dropping my phone too many times. It reminded me that i noticed a crack on the side of my phone earlier today so i pulled the phone away from my ear to check the damage and i hear her starting to talk again which leads me to blurt out...

"Hold on...I'm looking at my crack"
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Old 06-04-2012, 04:41 AM   #248
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She has crazy eyes. I bet she's a psycho.
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Old 06-04-2012, 07:11 AM   #249
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"I was hoping you could run them off so I could have my way with them."

- Said in all innocence by the opera director, asking me to print off my surtitle translations so she can check my idioms
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Old 06-25-2012, 12:54 AM   #250
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"I can't get it off!"
A friend trying to take the lid off her ice tea from the drive thru window.
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Old 06-26-2012, 03:41 PM   #251
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"look at hiswiddlepenis"

ROFL almost made me pee a little
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Old 06-30-2012, 04:49 AM   #252
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"You can pack it tighter than that but it's still gonna have that buldge!"
In referring to packaging a box for shipment...
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Old 07-11-2012, 08:09 AM   #253
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Default My Butch trying to find where to insert the sim card...

I'm just trying to stick it everywhere....
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Old 07-11-2012, 09:44 AM   #254
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I read in the guiness book of world records ,she quit the cult and bought an igloo.
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Old 07-12-2012, 07:22 AM   #255
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Do you want it like that, or should I get it wet first?
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Old 07-15-2012, 05:42 PM   #256
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After a salad bar mishap at Ruby Tuesday's...

Me: (whispering) Honey, I pea'ed on myself!

Snack:
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Old 07-26-2012, 10:34 PM   #257
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"thats you right there honey except hers is so loose it flaps in the wind"



(she was talking about the headliner of a car that looked exactly like mine in front of us)
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Old 07-28-2012, 07:52 PM   #258
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Me to J: How was work babe?

J: Longg and hard.

Me: what. . LOL

J: I felt sorry for A. she was going all night.

Me Do you know what that sounds like? LOL
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:05 AM   #259
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My babe: "I got bright lights"

Me: "yes you do!" *thinking of head lights*
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Old 08-02-2012, 09:07 AM   #260
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Me: "The two princesses are taking awhile to get ready."

My babe: "Who me?" "I'm cleaning." "I'm swifting."

Me: "Come and swift me." "Give me a dusting."
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