I'd Like to Claim I was Drunk: Pick Up Lines Destined to Fail - Page 3

Scorp · 07-02-2010, 12:51 PM

Like I said...Those are the fools that probably have a dick the size of a gherkin...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

If that was me saying that to you.. I would have at least said... "if that was my stick that hit you, You would have been begging for more!" lol

PinkieLee · 07-02-2010, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorp

Nooo not You? Loss for words?? omg (clenches heart) Wowwwwwwwwwwwwww...

I know, right?! I think some people just pull that stuff right outta their asses!! I'm sorry that I let you down ~ I'll start getting together my list of bad pick up line responses ASAP!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strappie

If that was me saying that to you.. I would have at least said... "if that was my stick that hit you, You would have been begging for more!" lol

PERV... but at least you are cute

Now, don't be using Billy Joe Jim Bob's pick up line on the ladies this weekend!!

JustJo · 07-02-2010, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scorp

... a dick the size of a gherkin....

Oh where was this line when I was bartending???

I used to just tell them that measuring from the asshole forward was cheating...

Scorp · 07-02-2010, 02:37 PM

ROFLMMFAO!!! Love your response Jo

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

Oh where was this line when I was bartending???

I used to just tell them that measuring from the asshole forward was cheating...

Chancie · 07-02-2010, 03:24 PM

A line I used once, Would you care to lead me around the dance floor?

hehehe

MissItalianDiva · 07-02-2010, 03:33 PM

My personal all time favorites

"Stand still so I can pick you up."

Can I take your picture?
Why?
Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas

Well here I am! What were your other two wishes?

I was wondering something about you
Oh yeah what might that be
Do your lips taste as good as they look?

Apocalipstic · 07-02-2010, 04:08 PM

Wanna do it?

SuperFemme · 07-02-2010, 04:19 PM

if i have enough to drink i may stand on the dance floor and yell "wanna fuck" during a lull in the music. i heard i'm slutty like that.

The_Lady_Snow · 07-02-2010, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SuperFemme

if i have enough to drink i may stand on the dance floor and yell "wanna fuck" during a lull in the music. i heard i'm slutty like that.

Um.

How come I never got that when we drank together.????

SuperFemme · 07-02-2010, 04:26 PM

i was thinking it really loud.

Gemme · 07-02-2010, 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustJo

In the parking lot of the bookstore...from the (maybe) 20ish young man who held the door open for me...

Have you ever considered the advantages of a friendship with a younger man?

Well, to be honest, that's probably the most polite way to ask that question. Points for discretion go to the younger man.

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Hey Baby I am just looking for a piece of ass.

Oh, good. I just passed a truck full of donkeys that would be perfect for you! (My response)

Quote:

Originally Posted by apocalipstic

Another line I have heard more than once is....

"Baybah, you just havent found tha raaiight Mayn"

My go to answer is...

"and let me guess, YOU are the chosen one"

Was he wearing sandals and a robe?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

I totally forgot about this one:

" 'Medusa' huh? I can be your Perseus!!"

(Yeah, cause every woman wants to have her head cut off and used to kill a sea creature)

Everyone has a purpose in life....

chefhottie25 · 07-03-2010, 12:48 AM

I have no problem getting out of your bed to make you breakfast in the morning. The few times I went out after work with my chef coat on it actually worked...but mostly it failed.

betenoire · 07-03-2010, 01:19 AM

True story.

I was on the bus, reading. Which is pretty much what I do - I ride buses and read. Some guy sits beside me and says "hi. what are you reading?" So I show him the cover of my book. (It was Love in the Time of Cholera)

he says "um. What's chool-era?"

game over.

Apocalipstic · 07-16-2010, 08:56 PM

Fuck me with your vestigial tail!

Seriously, it is a wonder I ever get laid....I think I am funny, Cynthia is mostly creeped out by the weird shit I say. She is a champ putting up with me!

Leigh · 07-16-2010, 09:18 PM

skeeter_01 · 08-24-2010, 03:38 PM

What I meant to say: So, can I buy you a drink?

What I did say: So, can I buy you a house?

I had NO idea that was going to come out of my mouth until it did...btw...YES I could buy her a house, NO I didn't get laid....

nicetgurl_30 · 08-24-2010, 03:53 PM

should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

Medusa · 08-24-2010, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicetgurl_30

should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

I'd vote for the nudge

Isadora · 08-24-2010, 04:35 PM

I just want to bury my face in your cleavage and run my hands through your curls.

Then hys wife showed up. hahahahahaha TAG!

tiggs · 08-24-2010, 10:52 PM

One of my most memorable, the butch comes sauntering over to the table where I was sitting with a group. No introduction at all, hy simply says to me,

butch: " your a** must be made of onions"

me with a very confused look "why is that?"

butch: "because it's so fine it makes my eyes water"

Had to give hym credit for bravery lol

07-02-2010, 04:08 PM	#47
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,383 Times in 2,840 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Wanna do it? __________________

07-03-2010, 01:19 AM	#53
betenoire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Satan in a Sunday Hat Preferred Pronoun?: Maow Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Chemical Valley Posts: 4,086 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,312 Thanked 8,742 Times in 2,566 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	True story. I was on the bus, reading. Which is pretty much what I do - I ride buses and read. Some guy sits beside me and says "hi. what are you reading?" So I show him the cover of my book. (It was Love in the Time of Cholera) he says "um. What's chool-era?" game over. __________________ bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided.

07-16-2010, 08:56 PM	#54
Apocalipstic Pink Confection How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, Ma'am Relationship Status: Dating Myself Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Nashville Posts: 4,266 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 17,195 Thanked 11,383 Times in 2,840 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	Fuck me with your vestigial tail! Seriously, it is a wonder I ever get laid....I think I am funny, Cynthia is mostly creeped out by the weird shit I say. She is a champ putting up with me! __________________

08-24-2010, 03:38 PM	#56
skeeter_01 Member How Do You Identify?: stone butch Preferred Pronoun?: Hey you! Relationship Status: Sleeping single in a double bed.. Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: ann arbor, michigan Posts: 195 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 288 Thanked 477 Times in 130 Posts Rep Power: 3007275	*What I meant* to say: So, can I buy you a drink? What I did say**: So, can I buy you a house? I had NO idea that was going to come out of my mouth until it did...btw...YES I could buy her a house, NO I didn't get laid.... __________________ Texting while driving is a real KILLER!!! ‎"It takes hundreds of nuts to hold a car together...but it takes only one nut to scatter them all over the highway..." Jeff PARAMEDIC

08-24-2010, 04:35 PM	#59
Isadora Member How Do You Identify?: Momma, Ma'am Preferred Pronoun?: She/Her Relationship Status: I am in love. Truly Madly Deeply Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: California Posts: 997 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 502 Thanked 2,128 Times in 560 Posts Rep Power: 2369287	I just want to bury my face in your cleavage and run my hands through your curls. Then hys wife showed up. hahahahahaha TAG! __________________ "I have a respect for manners as such, they are a way of dealing with people you don't agree with or like." Margaret Mead Read me! www.leatherati.com

07-02-2010, 03:24 PM	#45
Chancie Senior Member How Do You Identify?: queer femme-inist Relationship Status: I'm lucky. Join Date: May 2010 Location: Western Mass Posts: 3,697 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,228 Thanked 14,355 Times in 2,670 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	A line I used once, Would you care to lead me around the dance floor? hehehe

07-02-2010, 03:33 PM	#46
MissItalianDiva Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Miss Twiggy Preferred Pronoun?: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and that shit doesn't sound atrocious! Relationship Status: divorce happens..all that glitters ain't gold Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: SLC Utah Posts: 2,284 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,768 Thanked 7,161 Times in 1,793 Posts Rep Power: 21474853	My personal all time favorites "Stand still so I can pick you up." Can I take your picture? Why? Because I want Santa to know exactly what I want for Christmas Well here I am! What were your other two wishes? I was wondering something about you Oh yeah what might that be Do your lips taste as good as they look?

07-02-2010, 04:19 PM	#48
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	if i have enough to drink i may stand on the dance floor and yell "wanna fuck" during a lull in the music. i heard i'm slutty like that.

07-02-2010, 04:26 PM	#50
SuperFemme Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 10/24/2010 Preferred Pronoun?: She. Relationship Status: Married (one of 18,000) Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Atascadero, CA Posts: 4,933 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,309 Thanked 7,109 Times in 2,327 Posts Rep Power: 0	i was thinking it really loud.

07-03-2010, 12:48 AM	#52
chefhottie25 Member How Do You Identify?: boi Preferred Pronoun?: hy Relationship Status: happily taken Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: ohio Posts: 1,406 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 26 Thanked 889 Times in 477 Posts Rep Power: 1175216	I have no problem getting out of your bed to make you breakfast in the morning. The few times I went out after work with my chef coat on it actually worked...but mostly it failed.

07-16-2010, 09:18 PM	#55
Leigh Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Preferred Pronoun?: She, Her, etc Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Canada Posts: 7,767 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 9,029 Thanked 13,026 Times in 4,786 Posts Rep Power: 21474858

08-24-2010, 03:53 PM	#57
nicetgurl_30 Member How Do You Identify?: Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: AR Posts: 133 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 122 Thanked 214 Times in 89 Posts Rep Power: 295939	should i call you in the morning or nudge you!

08-24-2010, 10:52 PM	#60
tiggs Member How Do You Identify?: femme submissive Preferred Pronoun?: she Relationship Status: married and collared to Converse Tournaments Won: 1 Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: canada Posts: 359 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,456 Thanked 726 Times in 247 Posts Rep Power: 2288327	One of my most memorable, the butch comes sauntering over to the table where I was sitting with a group. No introduction at all, hy simply says to me, butch: " your a must be made of onions" me with a very confused look "why is that?" butch: "because it's so fine it makes my eyes water" Had to give hym credit for bravery lol __________________ “The world is not a dangerous place because of those who do evil, but because of those that look on and do nothing" - Albert Einstein**