Bed Side Preference and Dominance

[traumaqueen]

I like the furthest away from the door as well with my partner, which happens to be the right... but not so much for protection rather, the further you are from the door the less likely you have to let the dogs out in the middle of the night. At least that's how I justify things - things are working out!

[firegal]

Originally Posted by SleepyButch

I don't think I've ever slept in a bed that was up against the wall but I can see your point Smiling. You could always pull the bed out a foot or so right?

My reasoning is that I am being protective. If something comes in the door, it will be me that encounters it first. Just makes me feel better. It's the same reason I walk closest to the curb if I'm walking with a femme. It's just what I do and I'm sure I'm not the only one around her who feels this way.

I agree if I hear something I,m outa bed asap to investigate!

Also the curb thing,me too some say its old school. I say its my preference.

[The_Lady_Snow]

I get the bed, they get the floor, unless we travel then I allow them to be at my right, I like being close to the door.... I'm not sure what that has to do with Dominance other than it's who I am, bed or not..

[DapperButch]

I sleep on the left side so that when I turn towards my partner to have sexy times I am on the correct side of the bed for my dominant hand to roam.

I can't think of a time/bedroom where this didn't mean I wasn't closest to the door. I definitely don't like the wall, either.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I sleep on the left side so that when I turn towards my partner to have sexy times I am on the correct side of the bed for my dominant hand to roam.

I can't think of a time/bedroom where this didn't mean I wasn't closest to the door. I definitely don't like the wall, either.

in my bed..

It takes 2 hands for sexy times...

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

in my bed..

It takes 2 hands for sexy times...

I'm usually picking my nose with the other hand.

[tantalizingfemme]

Originally Posted by DapperButch

I'm usually picking my nose with the other hand.

Oh yeah...those are some sexy times.

[imperfect_cupcake]

i actually prefer the inside of the bed, the bottom bunk, the seat with my back facing the wall in the restaurant. Not because I want someone to protect me... I live in canada. what someone going to do? say excuse me, please? I dont have that sense of fear where I feel i need protecting from anything.

However, I feel more comfortable and relaxed in closed in spaces. I even love little dark caves. Childhood thing.

However, the sidewalk thing... if someone is *always* on the outside of me i find it restricts my movement as zig zag around and look at things. People actually get in the way when they do that rigidly. If they can do it so I don't notice that's what they are doing? fab. but it does get irritating when I start feeling hemmed in by someone who insists on always being on the outside. Doing it as is organic and flowing, mixing it up as we move around, but I have been with really "must. walk. on. outside. edge" and they have fucked my natural piddling about with meandering. It starts to feel like someone walking sideways next to you being a human fence.

and as the song goes ... "don't fence me in"

But I do love those who can pull off smooth manners like that without me noticing. That takes some skill. Just like I do very subtle things that I personally consider old fashioned, and the point is that they are to be seamless and unnoticable. at least, that the way I like to perform them

[Kelt]

Drivers side.

[cinnamongrrl]

Im always closest to the door. Residual mom thing...

[DapperButch]

Originally Posted by Kelt

Drivers side.

Which country?

[Mar]

I sleep by the door, or window should there be one. Its something I do naturally as a protective measure, but I don't believe that which side you sleep on alone is a sign of Dominance. There has to be more to it than that for me to see a connection.

[Okiebug61]

As long as I wake up with Red beside me, I have no worries what side I am on.

[nycfem]

I sleep on the left side in our current bed in our current home. I didn't ever notice what side I was on until I read this quiz and had to think about it. I totally don't get how it has to do with dominance but this thread has been interesting to read, and I'm not even sure why . I also am fascinated that people on this thread consider sleeping in these "protective" positions. Who knew? I thought I was into old school but apparently it has depths beyond my knowledge base. It was also weird to start thinking of one side of the bed as protected and the other as dangerous. I'm trying to take it all in!

For me I just want to be closest to the bathroom and the door. I want to be able to get up. I want to have space and a table right by me. I always assert this right away. "Do you mind if I..." Any butch or FTM that I've ended up in a relationship with has always been totally chill about this. It's better for them anyway, because I'm very hyperactive and take a long time going to sleep. If I was boxed in, the other person would never be able to sleep.

Once I was dating a butch and after we slept together, and I did my "Do you mind if I..." Hy said seriously and calmly but directly, "That's really selfish of you." Ugh, an argument AFTER sex, processing, having to take stock of whether I'm a bitch --while eye opening, I just somehow knew that the "side of the bed" question becoming an issue meant we would not end up in a relationship, and we didn't, so it got me thinking as I read this thread- that our needs for what side of the bed we sleep on and approaches to it, probably are some deep shit.

Then I thought about why I ended up with partners who were so cool about my always picking that side of the bed. Is it because I like being a princess? Don't answer that! It's just me thinking out loud and probably better for me to hash out in my own mind or with a trained professional.

I think it would be hella hot to be expected to sleep on the floor. Fuck yes! But outside of that scenario, I guess I'm quick to box someone into the wall

[Martina]

Closest to the door so I can go to the bathroom during the night. Teacher's bladder. When I have to go, I have to go.

[theoddz]

Using IN the bed as a reference, I sleep on the right and Dear Wife sleeps on the left. I prefer to sleep on my back and on my right side, and Dear Wife sleeps on her left side. Our furbabies (Henry and Lil'Bit), cuddle up between and around us.

Our frogs?? Well, they prefer the left side of The Big Frog House....piled up together, in the corner.

~Theo~

[GeorgiaMa'am]

I sleep on the right, and on my right side (facing the outside of the bed). This has only been a problem when I was sleeping with someone who felt I was "rejecting" them by turning my back to them to sleep. (And no, I did _not_ just do the deed and then roll over to go to sleep. I spent plenty of time cuddling.) This has happened with a few different people, who didn't work out in the end. I have to say, I felt their need to always sleep facing each other was needy and manipulative. I don't like people breathing in my face all night, and my spine didn't appreciate it either (I have to turn over a couple of times during the night).

[CherylNYC]

Originally Posted by nycfem

Once I was dating a butch and after we slept together, and I did my "Do you mind if I..." Hy said seriously and calmly but directly, "That's really selfish of you." ...

I hope you don't mind me saying so, but... What a JERK! You dodged the bullet on that one.

[CherryWine]

Like nycfem said, this thread really has been an interesting read! It has really never really crossed my mind, but now that I think about it, I have always slept on the left side. The left side has always been closest to the door, but I don't really think that has anything to do with it. Whenever there have been any strange noises, my partner is always the first to jump up and investigate. She wouldn't let me even if I tried.

I just asked my partner who she thought was the most dominant in our relationship, and she said "You mean like ruling the relationship? You." Then she gave me the side eye. Lol! So, I don't think our bed side preference has anything do with dominance.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by MasterfulButch

In my experience to date, I've noticed a correlation between dominance and bed side preference. That is, where there is a dominant character in a pairing (not necessarily dominant as a sexual identity) that they prefer to sleep on the right hand side of the bed.

Has anyone else noticed anything similar? Does the theory fit you?

Do you know a lot of Dom/Dommes/Tops/Dominants/Masters who prefer a the right side of the bed? I display myself via flagging when out and about sometimes to let people know the dynamic, and left is Dominant, how did the right side get picked as the dominant side? How was it assigned? I am asking because I have never deconstructed my bed before as far as how I identify or am.. So I have been thinking and thinking about it and had the questions above, I may have more because things like this make me think...

Happy New Year!