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Old 03-01-2020, 06:31 PM   #41
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I think that the hardship comes with the fact that we had no choice for our life. I chose to go to college and no one paid my way I paid for a better life. I feel like I have been alone since birth. Everything that I have today came from my own blood, sweat, and tears.
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Old 07-08-2020, 07:01 PM   #42
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Hello to my fellow adoptees! I haven't been here in a while.

I met the woman who gave birth to me and spent the last year getting to know her and some of her family. She came to Michigan to have dinner with my wife and me (among other things, her brother and mother live here in Michigan). And I got to spend my 42nd birthday with her, her husband, and her two other children in Buffalo. It was my first time seeing Niagra Falls, breathtaking!

I learned a lot, gained much insight, but it turns out that we can't sustain a relationship at this time. My trauma plus her unresolved guilt and shame just can't mix right now, maybe ever. It's up to her now. I set up some strong boundaries last week but allowed for her to email me occasionally if she wishes.

I had a significant mental health crisis just a couple of days later. It was bad enough that the timeline is very jumbled in my head. I don't know how directly related they were because my thyroid simultaneously went into way overdrive. It's usually underactive, for which I take medication.

I have a newfound appreciation for my adoptive parents, while still understanding their flaws and the boundaries I need with them in order to stay safe and sane.

My medications have been adjusted over the last few days and I am feeling much better, peaceful and energetic. I would even venture to use the word happy!

Thanks for reading. Would love to hear how all of you are doing in these strange times.
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Old 08-29-2020, 12:56 PM   #43
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I have been struggling immensely since May, I have come too close to having a complete mental breakdown, so much so that I almost quit my job and thought about having myself commited.

Most of this has been due to not properly dealing with all that encompasses my adoption and biologcal identity family struggles.

I adore all 3 of my families, but I struggle so much to figure out where I fit in and who I am. Therapy is just starting up and I know its going to take awhile to see tons of improvement. but in the mean time, I still struggle with daily things.

I lost my half sister that was 2 months younger than me, one of my half brothers is in prison, the other is a meth addict, as is 2 of my other half sisters, the others are in complete denial of everything in their lives.

In total I have 10 proven half siblings,1 that we thought was by my biological father but isnt, yet she is still my sister.. along with the 2 siblings from my adoptive parents.

All I can say right now is this...


WE ARE ONE GIGANTIC DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY!
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Old 08-31-2020, 11:36 AM   #44
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Originally Posted by JDeere View Post
I have been struggling immensely since May, I have come too close to having a complete mental breakdown, so much so that I almost quit my job and thought about having myself commited.

Most of this has been due to not properly dealing with all that encompasses my adoption and biologcal identity family struggles.

I adore all 3 of my families, but I struggle so much to figure out where I fit in and who I am. Therapy is just starting up and I know its going to take awhile to see tons of improvement. but in the mean time, I still struggle with daily things.

I lost my half sister that was 2 months younger than me, one of my half brothers is in prison, the other is a meth addict, as is 2 of my other half sisters, the others are in complete denial of everything in their lives.

In total I have 10 proven half siblings,1 that we thought was by my biological father but isnt, yet she is still my sister.. along with the 2 siblings from my adoptive parents.

All I can say right now is this...


WE ARE ONE GIGANTIC DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY!
I had a lot of thoughts all at once in response to this, JDeere. I'm not sure any of them are helpful. I did quit my job and have a mental breakdown, basically, and I regret nothing, but I know there is privilege in that. I am glad you are trying therapy. I resisted it for so long and it turned out to be so helpful. Maybe you will never fully fit in anywhere, but you are still worthy of love and a good life. Your family gets to be whatever/whoever you want it to be and set boundaries where you need to. Love and peace to all of us adoptees <3
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Old 12-25-2020, 09:05 AM   #45
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I talked to my half brother by blood last night. He is a beautiful man. He is a good husband and father. I feel blessed to know him. My other brothers are a bit different but at least I know where my blood comes from. I am Irish, Cherokee, and English. I did not know that for 40 years. It is a gift to know where your blood came from.
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Old 12-26-2020, 10:06 AM   #46
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I talked to my half brother by blood last night. He is a beautiful man. He is a good husband and father. I feel blessed to know him. My other brothers are a bit different but at least I know where my blood comes from. I am Irish, Cherokee, and English. I did not know that for 40 years. It is a gift to know where your blood came from.
I also didn't learn my heritage until I was over 40. I'm half Irish and half Scottish, mainly, smidge of German and Swedish. I'm so happy you are experiencing a good connection with your half brother.

None of my bio half siblings have been terribly interested in me, and my relationship with the woman who birthed me has fallen apart. But, still, I regret nothing about my search.

I may reach out to my bio father sometime after the first of the year. One of his cousins has reached out and been nothing but sweetness and light depsite being a Baptist minister in Kentucky!

I have been having a lot of fun seeing how far back I can take my family tree.

I'm so glad I made this little space and that it sees some action now and again. Peace and love to all of you <3
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Old 02-04-2021, 07:25 PM   #47
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I did ancestry dna:

Im Irish, Scottish, Welsh, Finnish and 1% african from Bantu peoples...

I was 42 when I found this out.
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Old 09-24-2021, 02:21 PM   #48
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My ancestry dna ethnic was updated, the other day, probably because more relatives from my birth father's side took ancestry dna.

Still English, More Scottish, less Irish, same Finnish but add Sweden and Denmark, still 1% bantu but add Native American to the list at 20%
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