masculine maturity?

[AtLast]

Originally Posted by Gemme

Maturity, unlike beauty, is not in the eye of the beholder I think. For me, maturity is the manifestation of personal growth and the choices that come from that place. One can feel it, but the title is frivolous if not bestowed by someone else.

Do I spend my check on booze or girls/guys or material things that may or may not bring me pleasure, temporary or permanent?

or....

Do I spend my check on bills and put something in savings and place priority on the things I want over the long haul versus the short term?

Do I tailgate some minivan because it's not going as fast as I would like and then pass them in a no passing zone with my finger waving proud and loud in the air?

or...

Do I take a breath and realize that life won't end if I miss one of the trailers before the movie?

Do I purposefully hurt/degrade/bully another because I see they are vulnerable?

or...

Do I purposefully attempt to engage said person kindly or, at the very least, leave them alone?

These are just examples of course, but it comes down to...for me...being considerate of others, planning for the future, being if not kind then at least not cruel, and living your life as if it's something meaningful to you.

Maturity, to me, means acting like a damn grown up. Sure, some of us are firmly in touch with our inner children. I've participated in food fights and about 2 minutes ago, taunted my honey with the animal crackers, making the appropriate sounds while he was on the phone with a client. BUT--I didn't speak loud enough for the client to hear, since you don't mess with someone's livelihood...you just don't, and I helped clean up after the fight.

I can be as evolved, internally, as I want and then some, but until it comes through in my actions, I'm not there yet no matter my age, gender or identity.

You are so correct! Although brain chemistry, developmental markers attained as well as the onset of puberty (for both females and males) and menopause and male climacteric stages do relate to human maturity (and beyond)... chronological age, use of hormone therapy, gender identification are not on the same level (playing field, so to speak) in terms of biophysiological manifestations of maturation.

Personally and as a social and behavioral scientist, I sometimes want to choke on US societal norms that have been traditionally skewed toward more acceptance of male immaturity and there is a lot of research in the literature exposing this. Although, the US has quite a record of continued adolescent behavior being tolerated. And fergoddesssakes... look at all of the ethnic, racial, class variances in terms of this!

I have to also stand with Chancie about broad generalizations about femmes or butches, TG/IG people. There is no way I could make any kind of statement about maturity levels based upon any of these simply by the people I happen to now, have known, or will know. I would be stuck on stupid as well as trying to project my own background and personality make-up as somehow "expert" in making these assumptions. And I am a licensed clinician and when practicing, it was my ethical duty to keep up with the literature.

Antidotal, personal observations, even from the most learned are biased and end up being inaccurate which is why scientific inquiry has a method of investigation- to help weed out the biases we all just have.

I’m really not trying to come off as an educated elitist at all- I just get frustrated with shoot from the hip kinds of assumptions about human behavior and personality development, including my own which have their own skews.