Friends of Bill W.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 21

20 CART PILEUP

“What’s the problem here?” asks my sponsor, as she approaches my apparent impasse.
“Well, I’ve been trying to get these carts lined up. What do you think of my progress?”
“How many carts do you have here?”
“A few, quite a few. Why?”
“And how many horses?” She asks.
“Just the one. The same as everyone else,” I answer.
“And where is this poor animal?”
“Back there, behind the carts.”
“Okay. We have a two-fold problem here. First, one horse can handle only one cart. So, pick one. Second, that sad creature needs to be in his proper position to do any good at all. You had best figure out a way to get him in front or you will remain stuck even after you whittle down your burden.”
I was stunned. She went to her cart, climbed to the seat and took up the reins.
“How long did it take you to get yours like that?” I asked.
“Honey, it takes every day. Don’t kid yourself. I wake up every morning with the same train wreck you're standing in now. Learn to sort faster and you’ll have the rest of today. You can start over with the rest of us tomorrow.”

Sip the bitter, drink the sweet.
*

Clever Me

I am clever, I am so clever,
everyone knows it and I know it, too.
So, why do I get slam stuck
on the very simple things
required to keep my life running smoothly?

I know what needs to be done,
yet have no clue as to how to accomplish
these threads of minutia.
I stall; panic, plod, pout.

When I do force myself to do it
I end up creating either a new pile
of impossible incidentals
or some anticlimactic end,
but secret solutions are as of yet undiscovered.

The whip, the lash and the club avail nothing
though sweet enticements do no better.
I pray, “Dear God please help me!”
but this has no point, I don’t want the help,
I am afraid of the help.

I am afraid of the change
and of course who wouldn’t be?
Beyond here lay someone I don’t know,
someone I only fear,
beyond here lay the fearless me
and I am clever enough to be afraid of her.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 22

MATH

“If this is the solution, why aren’t I happy?" I ask my sponsor in a piteous whine.
“You’ve run the equation and the solution equals happiness?" She queries, “That’s the whole and total answer? How many times did you go through the computation?”
“What’s your point? Are you saying happiness isn’t the answer? What about joy, and freedom? I heard someone say that was the goal. I know that’s what I heard.”
“Let’s think about it for a hot second. What would you think if I worked the steps as hard as I do and, as a result, walked around in a perpetual grin?”
“I’d think you had lost your mind.”
“So, you’re telling me you believe the product of recovery is idiocy? The thing we all are aspiring to is bliss and nothing but?”
“No, I guess not. Then what is the solution for you?" I ask.
“A tally which fits the day I’m having. Joy sometimes fits that bill but other days it’s sadness or concern. There have been days when disbelief and dismay were part of the appropriate response. For me, the solution is having an equation that helps me respond to life instead of reacting to it. That’s better than unending happiness; that’s wholeness,” she said with a grin.

Harmony is at contrast with permission.


*
Suddenly


Creeping realization has never been my experience
with God’s handy work in my kitchen.
I start out making a mess
and I find in short order that G-d has made a meal;
fit food for apt hunger.

I could throw myself into the kneading and shaping,
but without the yeast
which is so freely given I have no bread;
only a lump that will choke me in the end.

Even my very own abilities are gifts
I was incapable of offering to myself
and are only found here in my possession
through sheer grace.

I have woken up with my face
saliva glued to the table top far too often
only to discover my Higher Power doing
and I am grateful for without that action
I would be un-done.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 23

MISSING




The good times we never had but should have, the pleasantries I endured waiting for the pleasure. I remembered your potential with fondness. The days, weeks and years I waited for you to grow to me have passed, and yet--- time is what I have, not you. Hope is a wonderful thing until it turns on me and bites. Images I built have tumbled and colors wash from your portrait. I carefully remind myself it’s the idea of you I miss, not you.


Practice your manners on yourself.
*

Water Buddha


The longer on the river I am
the less I fear the river.
I still don’t know what lay ahead,
anything may wait for me
just around the next bend,
but I fear this less and less.

Experience is a great foundation
no matter what you are building
or in which direction.

I’ve gotten my sea-legs,
a sure sign of the mind cooperating
with the realities the body is experiencing.

I have learned to avoid some forms of trouble
and anticipate fortune more often.
Further on could be a waterfall, ocean or dam;

I will contend with any or all, come what may,
for when it comes to riding the river
I have learned the most important thing: I
don’t need to push.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 24

PARADOX OF PARADISE

Paradise is created when I collect paradox and live with it. Paradise is the set of acceptance and suspended disbelief. If anything is possible, accepting what comes is less heart-wrenching. If I arrest my misgivings, gratification in the voluptuousness of now is velvet. Vague consent is a Hell of incapacity. Fighting fiercely for both sides keeps the heart pumping and the mind at bliss. I must work to embrace contradiction and happiness. There is more than one path to take and I must take that one.


When you give time also take time.


*
Two X’s


I play sport at the three X folks
and their still sometimes skewed thinking.
Yet, I attack myself for feeling like a babe in the woods.

Old and wise should be my stock and trade by now though
I find vastness at my door regularly
and confidence struggles to peek in the window.

What in the world will I do if I can’t perfect this stuff soon?
Hopefully nothing as foolish as fretting
or anything as mean spirited as accusation.

Possibly I could try reception.
Truly this only comes in gift wrap and after twenty years
I would hope I had learned to live in the present.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 25

THE ORDER


I can’t expect delivery if I haven’t placed the order. I never seem to know what I want until after I have accepted something else. I can remember thinking order meant procedure not procurement---set the table, not end my hunger. I focused on rational intent and turned my face from desire. Assailing outcomes leads to disappointments. Asking for a hole to be filled may cause dumping not management or conservation. It’s good to have a plan before signing the requisition. Please help me know who I am, so I will know what I want, so I can make a request and stop accepting orders of attack. Don’t let me order the end while I am still at the beginning.


Self-respect is the gift you bring to everyone.
*

Whirly Gigs



Pivot points and reference points
subtlety disguised as harmless bric-a-brac
escape my comprehension until I either stumble
or land on one or the other and ponder the affect.

Realization that much of my life’s contentment
hinges like a door shocks me,
though I don’t know why it should.

Isn’t it the way of things that it all turns on a whim
or at the very least hangs on fine gauged calculation?

I am not the capricious vixen I accuse myself of;
I am however human
and given to a certain amount of fickle fussy frenzy
which all reckons out given enough perspective and wit.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 26

THE ORPHANAGE OF MY HEART


The orphanage of my heart holds many children, children of my past. They gaze at me, fixed in an attempt to draw me near their needs. I scurry, often my head down, eyes averted, not knowing how to offer comfort or consideration to these hapless souls. Fearing the largesse of the poverty, I decline to open my small purse. What could I tender other than a tease? Nearly barren in my heart-broken, disconsolate, inconsolable state, I rarely even obligate myself to extending my hand. This is the pit of my idiocy. These wee ones have the world of hope and strength to give. I am their offertory. I am the place where their gold resides. They live inside me to fill me and bind me to life and light. I flee them in the height of misunderstanding. Disconnected from these inner spirits, I am impoverished and far too weak to grasp their help. Too fogged to see the world within, I starve in the world without.


Incubate an idea.


*

New Borne


What happens when you finally get what you want,
what you barely dared to dream?
What happens when you can hardly do more
than drip tears down from smiling eyes?
Where do you go with a future filled with proposed joy?

Heaven is an option if only you believed,
but hell has been such a perennial destination
it’s hard to realize there will be no return trip this year
or possibly ever again.

The work required to change
from an attitude of longing to one of satisfaction
is as real as all the work needed thus far.

Tending love is a host of disciplines
I want to step to, like I have done it all my life,
like I was born to do it
and I was,

Still growth is accompanied
by its own pain and awkwardness
and who am I to deny this treat.
Any new life worth living
is worth the pain to bear it.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 27

CALIBRATE COINCIDENCE




Do good. Do right. Line up with the next correct movement. Get the universe locked into the sprockets of my desires and make the miracles flow in my direction. Ah, the boy scout merit badge of sobriety. I force spiritual alchemy through the pasta maker of my small life expecting gold. And where is God? Where is the realness of reality? Where is my place in this hairy mess? Well, who knows? Am I the wizard? The Chemist? The mechanic of the galaxy? Though I wish and hope, in truth, I am not the one who calibrates coincidence. I am the receiver of.


Date your recovery.
*
Feelings/Facts

Delay is when I don’t deal with the tack,
don’t deal with the finish nail,
land up with a 12 penny in my heel
and think about waiting for the railroad spike.

Rebellion is when I run through the razor-wire fence
expecting to make a clean get away.
If I don’t socialize my problems when they are puppies
all hope is lost when faced with the big dogs.

Exiting out the fifth story window is suicide in fact,
but in my thinking I am merely rebelling.
Willingness and cooperation make a dynamic duo;
powerful combatants of delay, rebellion,
and many other joy killing, life stealing foes.

A life led with cooperation and willingness
is not necessarily perfection,
but it often feels that way.

[LeftWriteFemme]

SEC Charges Five Individuals for Insider Trading Tip From AA Meeting
by Reese Darragh on March 14, 2012



The Securities and Exchange Commission brought civil insider-trading charges against five individuals who allegedly made more than $1.8 million profits based on a tip obtained through an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

In the filing, the regulator charged Timothy McGee, a financial adviser at Ameriprise Financial Services for making illegal stock trading of Philadelphia Consolidated Holding Corp after he received insider information of a pending merger between the company and Japanese firm Tokio Marine Holdings.

A fellow AA member who is also a senior executive at the firm had confided with McGee during one of the support group meeting that the pressure over the merger were leading him to drink. Utilizing the information, McGee purchased the company’s stock in advance of the July 23, 2008 merger and gain $292,128 when the stock price of Philadelphia Consolidated increased by 64 percent on the news.

Sharing the Wealth

McGee also allegedly shared the tip with a co-worker, Michael Zirinsky, who purchased stock in his own trading accounts as well as his family. Per The Wall Street Journal, Zirinsky also shared the information with his father, Robert Zirinsky, and a friend in Hong Kong, Paolo Lam, who in turn shared the information with another friend, whose wife, Marianna Sze Wan Ho, also traded on the information.

The SEC also named four Zirinsky relatives as relief defendants, seeking disgorgement of ill-gotten gains. They were not charged in the case. Altogether, the Zirinsky family made $562,673.

Elsewhere in Hong Kong, a Reuters report confirmed that Lam and Ho have agreed to settle the charges with the SEC without admitting or denying the allegations. Lam made $837,975 while Ho gained $110,580 through their bets on the information. Lam and Ho will pay $1.2 million and $140,000 respectively to the SEC.

The SEC is pursuing penalties against McGee, Michael Zirinsky and his father, Robert Zirinsky.

AA Shield

Unlike the common insider trading cases that often revolve around the breach of confidential duty between an employee and the company’s shareholders, the executive of Philadelphia Consolidated is not charged with any wrongdoing.

The SEC’s suit on Tuesday said that McGee misused the information obtained from his relationship with the executive because the relationship was forged through AA meetings. AA’s twelfth tradition policy designed to encourage participants to speak freely but anonymously.

“By spring and early summer 2008, while the PHLY executive was participating in the merger negotiations and under significant pressure to ensure a successful sale, he and McGee had known each other for almost a decade and forged a close relationship in which they routinely shared confidences about each other’s personal lives and problems impacting them professionally,” the SEC said.

Insider trading case stemmed from an AA meeting is a first for the regulator.

I guess the AA program has to be restructured for members to eliminate certain details of their work from now on.

Reese Darragh is a contributing writer for CompliancEX and Wall Street Job Report. She is an experienced business news writer with expertise in macroeconomics topic, the financial industry, rules and regulations including the Dodd-Frank Act and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act as well as rules from other federal regulators. She has a Master Degree in International Economics and Finance from Brandeis University.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 28

FEELINGS

Getting my feelings back was like a package delivered---not a letter bomb, more like live squid or bait of some kind. It was something to catch me out there. I think overcoming the shock was more or less the small part, though it seemed to loom at the time. The squirming, the writhing of my soul was like a pregnancy following a bad dream. I wondered how this became a part of me. I squandered my days hoping it would leave quietly some night soon. Like all difficult relationships, I attempted to hold my breath through it. Failing this, I tried to offer my feelings a guest wing in my heart and a never-ending supply of tea and cookies. When the reality of life with feelings planted itself firmly in me, I let out my breath, stopped the hostess act and endeavored to roll with it. This worked well. I have since invested in a wet- suit and fins. The squid are much easier to live with when I meet them on their turf.


Sponge off what life flings at you.

*


Yes, Virginia there is a solution

Suspended in the colloid of sobriety
the overly large molecule, which is me,
finds a fix I couldn’t imagine.

I can get better, I do get better,
I have a set of values to substitute into the old equations.
I now live in a mixture where there is one thing in common
and all the rest are variants which ordinarily don’t mix.

The scientific method is entry to homogenous living;
a concept that never made it to the table
in my days as a rogue element.

And with all this on board,
the thing I love the best is that it grows;
what I can do and how I can do it
is an ever widening frame of reference,

Even things which were once outside of my view
are now possible.
I am grateful that there is a solution
I am amazed that it is the solution to everything.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 29

FUTURE TENTS

The future seeps in through the windows, like the dawn stealing across the sky. Once I inhale it, I am out of doors, only the lightest of canvas covering me. The opening flaps in the breeze. The wind of unbidden things echoes off the walls of people shut out from this adventure. I brace myself for the cutting current but am greeted by the softest of zephyrs. I duck out. I stand unfettered. Lonely whispers call but I am isolated. The scene is empty, serene and beautiful. There are other tents, other seekers standing on other hills but they see their own futures from the vantage of their own tents and thankfully I am left to see mine.


Tape a coin to the place you sleep.

*
Catalog of Growth

The right seed in the right season
grows a garden of miracles for me.
I get the food for my table
or the stores for winter.

Sometimes when I’m in a Jack like predicament,
right planted seeds can provide a bean stalk
of escape from my restricted life.

I have a role to play with these wonders.
I must sort the seeds from the pebbles.
I must let the kernels out of my pocket
and into the ground.

I water when I can
and harvest what comes to fruition.
Though the best by far
is the part when I get to share the seeds.

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 30

CRAZY


I try on crazy, the way I sometimes get out the jump rope, and see if all those muscles still work. The unemployed, unexploited, fallow nature of my once fertile insanity saddens me in an odd way. Today is a place I stand in stiff comfort, though it has taken concerted effort to get here. There are days I slip from reality, the way I can slip off a chair. I no longer allow myself to lounge on the floor. Pride is not so much the issue as hygiene. Crazy is bad for my health. I gave it up like cigarettes or romance novels; I don’t have enough time or insurance for these dalliances, though I do remember them all with fondness.


Allow yourself a favorite spoon.
*

Face and Ass


“It is hard to save your face
and save your ass at the same time.”

What I haven’t tried
in an attempt to live my life as a showman
spotlight front and center.

What I wouldn’t sacrifice to keep
peace and image intact,
but in the end it was just that,
my end, that saved me from
a life chasing prevention of defacement.

I can’t live with the posture of an ostrich
it leaves so much at risk.
Hiding my face won’t protect it
no matter how much I wish it would.

I have to put my butt in a seat,
a seat up front where folks get to know my face.
I have to try my best yet still make mistakes
and let people know my ass as well.

Being a part of AA saves my behind,
once that is cosseted
my face might just get its day in the sun.

[Lady_Di]

On his desk, Dr. Bob had a plague defining humility:

Humility

"Perpetual quietness of heart,

It is to have no trouble.

It is never to be fretted or vexxed,

irritable or sore;

to wonder at nothing done against me.

To feel nothing done against me.

It is to be at rest when nobody praises me,

and when I am blamed or despised.

It is to have a blessed home in myself

where I can go in and shut the door

and kneel to my Father in secret

and be at peace,

as in a deep sea of calmness,

when all around and about

is seeming trouble."

Dr. Bob and the Good Old Timers

Page 222


First written by Andrew Murray, a South African religious leader, CA 1828-1917


ODAT,
Di

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by LeftWriteFemme

SEC Charges Five Individuals for Insider Trading Tip From AA Meeting
by Reese Darragh on March 14, 2012



The Securities and Exchange Commission brought civil insider-trading charges against five individuals who allegedly made more than $1.8 million profits based on a tip obtained through an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting.

In the filing, the regulator charged Timothy McGee, a financial adviser at Ameriprise Financial Services for making illegal stock trading of Philadelphia Consolidated Holding Corp after he received insider information of a pending merger between the company and Japanese firm Tokio Marine Holdings.

A fellow AA member who is also a senior executive at the firm had confided with McGee during one of the support group meeting that the pressure over the merger were leading him to drink. Utilizing the information, McGee purchased the company’s stock in advance of the July 23, 2008 merger and gain $292,128 when the stock price of Philadelphia Consolidated increased by 64 percent on the news.

Sharing the Wealth

McGee also allegedly shared the tip with a co-worker, Michael Zirinsky, who purchased stock in his own trading accounts as well as his family. Per The Wall Street Journal, Zirinsky also shared the information with his father, Robert Zirinsky, and a friend in Hong Kong, Paolo Lam, who in turn shared the information with another friend, whose wife, Marianna Sze Wan Ho, also traded on the information.

The SEC also named four Zirinsky relatives as relief defendants, seeking disgorgement of ill-gotten gains. They were not charged in the case. Altogether, the Zirinsky family made $562,673.

Elsewhere in Hong Kong, a Reuters report confirmed that Lam and Ho have agreed to settle the charges with the SEC without admitting or denying the allegations. Lam made $837,975 while Ho gained $110,580 through their bets on the information. Lam and Ho will pay $1.2 million and $140,000 respectively to the SEC.

The SEC is pursuing penalties against McGee, Michael Zirinsky and his father, Robert Zirinsky.

AA Shield

Unlike the common insider trading cases that often revolve around the breach of confidential duty between an employee and the company’s shareholders, the executive of Philadelphia Consolidated is not charged with any wrongdoing.

The SEC’s suit on Tuesday said that McGee misused the information obtained from his relationship with the executive because the relationship was forged through AA meetings. AA’s twelfth tradition policy designed to encourage participants to speak freely but anonymously.

“By spring and early summer 2008, while the PHLY executive was participating in the merger negotiations and under significant pressure to ensure a successful sale, he and McGee had known each other for almost a decade and forged a close relationship in which they routinely shared confidences about each other’s personal lives and problems impacting them professionally,” the SEC said.

Insider trading case stemmed from an AA meeting is a first for the regulator.

I guess the AA program has to be restructured for members to eliminate certain details of their work from now on.

Reese Darragh is a contributing writer for CompliancEX and Wall Street Job Report. She is an experienced business news writer with expertise in macroeconomics topic, the financial industry, rules and regulations including the Dodd-Frank Act and the Sarbanes-Oxley Act as well as rules from other federal regulators. She has a Master Degree in International Economics and Finance from Brandeis University.

Reminds me of a murderer that was turned in by someone that they had done a 5th step with...

I have seen the FBI suit up and show up, infiltrate one of our meetings. It is an amazing world in which we live and between meetings and the internet, it never surprises me anymore the things people will share like no one is remembering what in the heck they are saying. People are listening! And acting on those things that they do hear.

Listen and learn.



ODAT,
Di

[LeftWriteFemme]

March 31

BLUE CROWS


Blue crows streak across my dreaming mind’s sky; they take up their post in a line of trees. I stand at the edge of a burning field. I feel nauseous at the thought of glorifying an ‘active’ life. Everything is burned, scarred and crumpled; the flashy crows call from the hedgerow. I know it’s time to fly. The fire is out and I have work to do to keep the sparks and dormant embers from ruining another harvest. I must travel with these strange birds and live an odd but regimented life. I needn’t scorch my feet on this ground again but, like my companions, must spend some time in survey. If I do not fully assess this damage, I might not fully embrace this dawn.


Bury your dead issues.


*
Why is it so hard to be me?

I have everything I could wish for.
I have love and friendship,
I have talent and ability.

What more could I want?
I don’t want more,
I want to learn how to overcome fear
and live with disappointment.

Abundance is ever at the door,
but I have no room for plenty.
Reassurance is the thing I chase after,
yearn for, pine about, but it is an illusive thing
like taking hold of smoke.

Allusion is the gift-wrap of reality
the unwrapping often puts me off the contents;
regaining my composure and reestablishing willingness
is a difficult job requiring dedication and fortitude.

The barrier before the carefree me
is thought, the strongest of all substance.
I must heal the calcifications of my mind and resist rigidity.
My thinking is what makes being me problematic
without it I am nothing at all.

Originally Posted by Lady_Di

Reminds me of a murderer that was turned in by someone that they had done a 5th step with...

I have seen the FBI suit up and show up, infiltrate one of our meetings. It is an amazing world in which we live and between meetings and the internet, it never surprises me anymore the things people will share like no one is remembering what in the heck they are saying. People are listening! And acting on those things that they do hear.

Listen and learn.



ODAT,
Di

Well, that damn well means I ain't ever gonna share openly and honestly...just in case MI5 turn up


2 months today...woohooo!

At last night's meeting (with the other fellowship) we had a reading that was about the 'triangle of self-obsession'. It piqued all sorts of things for me which I really need to think more upon and write about.

This weekend is the North West AA Convention. As I can't afford to attend I'm going to go this afternoon, tell them I'm a newbie and they should let me in. It would be awesome to spend some of the day with lots and lots of other sober alcoholics.



Remember...honesty costs lives...and let's be careful out there people!

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by Incubus

Well, that damn well means I ain't ever gonna share openly and honestly...just in case MI5 turn up


2 months today...woohooo!

At last night's meeting (with the other fellowship) we had a reading that was about the 'triangle of self-obsession'. It piqued all sorts of things for me which I really need to think more upon and write about.

This weekend is the North West AA Convention. As I can't afford to attend I'm going to go this afternoon, tell them I'm a newbie and they should let me in. It would be awesome to spend some of the day with lots and lots of other sober alcoholics.



Remember...honesty costs lives...and let's be careful out there people!

Grats on the 2 months. As for monitoring what you share in the privacy of your 5th step, I think it means pick wisely whom you put your trust into. Caution is a good thing, as we are not a bunch of saints within those hallowed halls. Heck, outside those hallowed halls as well!

I know plenty of old timers I would trust with anything, that will go to their grave with what they have heard. Often times they forget most of it, truth be told. They know the power of letting go of the past, except what can be used to be helpful and in service to others.

Experience, strength and hope... share it.

It works.

Discretion is as always, the better part of valor. I think one thing I suggest to any new comer is to sit back and watch, listen. People show their true colours. Folks that stick to only sharing their own experiences, versus those that essentially gossip and name drop. This is part of learning to live life on life's terms, the way things are, not the way we wish things were. I learn even from those gossips and name droppers, I learn what not to do. I learn from each and every soul that walks in those doors.


I have known others be very distrustful of sharing straight from the heart in their 5th step. They go so far as to find a priest, psychiatrist/pyschologist or a very elderly ear that can hardly remember what day it is anymore. Some use it as an excuse to not work the steps. We do tend to love to put those things off, especially the things that can be most helpful sometimes. The point is to share parts of yourself you have kept in the dark shadows of your life. I prefer someone that can give me a kick in the pants, reality therapy. Facing things head on.

Just remember we are not alone. This is most assuredly a We program.

Thanks Lady_Di ...to be fair, I was teasin' a bit; FBI men 'infiltrating' meetings sounds a little Mulder & Scully.

However... after saying that, it did put honesty and trust on my mind for the day.

My day started with a disappointment in being refused a free pass into the convention but was quickly followed by a divine gift horse, which I decided not to look in the mouth. It kick-started the li'l emotional roller-coaster ride I've been on today.

It's all good!

Much hope and strength. A few risks. A faux pas. So many lovely folks. A feeling of unity.

Now very tired, happy and going to bed.

The end.

[LeftWriteFemme]

April 1

RAIN

The rain makes shadows of water. It spills onto the ground like tiny worlds. What had been airborne and mist is now earthbound and integral, feeding, cutting, learning the world. Once I contemplated theories and mystery. Now, washing dishes is a spiritual service. The view was lovely when I was above it all but now I course through the veins of life. There may come a time when I am untouchable again but by then I will have been a part of it all. I will carry the world with me always, an orbiting servant not just above but through.


Engrave compliments in your mind.


*
Clock and Calendar Girl


I depend on the count and measure of time to get me through.
The swing of the pendulum carries me from moment to moment
and the divisions between days are like the rungs on a ladder;

I climb from month to month and age to age.
When I hold my breath I count the tic, tic, tic
till the difficult time passes and I can inhale once more.

Harder things require X’s in their numbered boxes
to help me transverse the larger distance and rockier terrain.
Take away my clock and I go deaf,
remove my calendar and I go blind.
Tools are tools even if they only aid sight and sound.

[Lady_Di]

Originally Posted by Incubus

Thanks Lady_Di ...to be fair, I was teasin' a bit; FBI men 'infiltrating' meetings sounds a little Mulder & Scully.

However... after saying that, it did put honesty and trust on my mind for the day.

My day started with a disappointment in being refused a free pass into the convention but was quickly followed by a divine gift horse, which I decided not to look in the mouth. It kick-started the li'l emotional roller-coaster ride I've been on today.

It's all good!

Much hope and strength. A few risks. A faux pas. So many lovely folks. A feeling of unity.

Now very tired, happy and going to bed.

The end.

Its all good.


Yes, it is about getting real. Real honest.

And the proof was self evident for you yesterday, from the sounds of it. You honestly sharing you could not pay, someone heard you and stepped up to the plate. No doubt they want you to do the same when you have a few more months under your belt and the finances to help others. Remembering all those that have helped me, I have a real responsibility to Pay It Foward.


Which reminds me of a very important movie I highly recommend. It is also a good old book...

Magnificant Obsession


there is a very obvious part of the story that is very much akin to what we do here, in fact I would go so far that they were very much illuminating the 12 steps in action and showing where this legacy comes from... 2000 years ago, the Golden Rule and Sermon on the Mount, etc

this wonderful obviously sober old man brings in a man, in from the storm so to speak... gives him shelter and food, an ear to listen, broad shoulders

His one and only request for this kindness was to do the same for someone else, but if anyone finds out you have done this kindness it does not count...

has to do with Paying It Forward and for doing so with the right reasons in heart and mind

doing so for self agrandizement is just wrong, imnsho, that is ego getting in the way of being of service


In Service Always,
Di

*** Everyone serves, even the Queen of England serves her people, the question is...

who do you serve? ***

[Lady_Di]

oh, and the goal was to do that good deed everyday, once a day... if anyone finds out you did it, gots to do another one...

I love Magnificant Obsession.

Anonymity at work in Hollywood, for sures. It was such a 12 step movie.