Important things I learned from past relationships - Page 3

~ocean · 05-03-2013, 04:41 AM

Always be yourself ~

VintageFemme · 05-03-2013, 11:09 PM

Just be kind. In the end, it's all that really matters.

Nat · 05-04-2013, 01:17 AM

I don't know who wrote this and I'm google-lazy, but I think this sums it up:

You will carry this suture
Into the future
The past never passes
It simply amasses.

---------------

Also - there is probably no escape - you will likely see them again forever if you live in the same town. I dated a woman briefly back in 2005, and I still run into her. Thankfully, we get along great now, but there was a good year where it was pretty awkward.

s0litude · 05-05-2013, 03:07 AM

Some people are in love with the IDEA of being in love. They'd rather be with ANYONE (you aren't special) than be alone. Learn to spot them, to observe, so you can "dodge the bullet" and save yourself a world of hurt later. If you make an error on this "type", misjudge things, they will go on to the next person who pays them some attention while you're left reeling, wondering WTF happened.

Learn to spot CRAZY.
Run like hell.

wahya · 05-21-2013, 09:23 PM

Like Bonnie Raitt's song..I Can't Make You Love Me. it's true..You can't. Long hard lesson learned.

Deborah* · 10-03-2017, 08:21 PM

To be extremely careful of who you enter a relationship with. Use much intellect along with emotions. Pause yourself and ask if this is really the right relationship for you. Looks can be deceptive.

Deborah

cathexis · 10-04-2017, 12:18 AM

Sort of inline with the above post.

Not to abandon true deep love and commitment to sizzling hot lust and blazing scenes.

In short order, the sizzling and blaze will burn out.

All that remained were cold embers and memories. Oh, and years of tears.

kittygrrl · 10-04-2017, 07:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cathexis

Sort of inline with the above post.

Not to abandon true deep love and commitment to sizzling hot lust and blazing scenes.

In short order, the sizzling and blaze will burn out.

All that remained were cold embers and memories. Oh, and years of tears.

I agree with this...in my twenties "hot" was what counted..but now ..there are more important things--of course you want both always but it's not wise to reject change--because change will always be with us and it's good and we shouldn't be afraid of it and learn to take advantage of it--life is a challenge and this is what keeps it interesting!

imperfect_cupcake · 10-04-2017, 09:50 PM

That the deep friendship in the relationship should come before anything else

That romance is not about grand gestures or words for me. It's about small, little acts of care that are natural. It's about stepping up for me when I can't but not in a "masculine hero" way, more like a "scrubbing bae's puke from around the toilet" way. <<< *that's* romance to me. I mean, that means someone sincerely loves me.

That I find passion in humour, movement, and creative conversations.

That loyalty is more important to me than fidelity

That I'm no longer looking for the passion-romance-chemistry triad. What I want is maturity, skills, compatibility, self acceptance, self responsibility and wit. *fans self*

Lifesymphony · 10-24-2018, 12:15 AM

Learning to wait at least 24hrs before reacting when I'm upset. No matter how hard it is to keep quiet.

Learning the difference between assertive and abusive.

Learning to rediscover the raw vulnerable side of myself in the arms of another.

05-03-2013, 04:41 AM	#1
~ocean Infamous Member How Do You Identify?: femme blows a kiss off my finger tips * Preferred Pronoun?: ~ hey girl ~ Relationship Status: ~ single & content ~ Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Massachusetts ~coastal Posts: 7,905 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 22,958 Thanked 16,124 Times in 4,736 Posts Rep Power: 21474858	Always be yourself ~ __________________ ~ Always, ocean

05-03-2013, 11:09 PM	#2
VintageFemme Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: Single Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Outside Posts: 2,299 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,828 Thanked 7,640 Times in 1,657 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Just be kind. In the end, it's all that really matters. __________________ Unfinished Business & Open to Serendipity

05-04-2013, 01:17 AM	#3
Nat Senior Member How Do You Identify?: bigender Preferred Pronoun?: whatevs Relationship Status: in a relationship Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Tx Posts: 3,535 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 11,042 Thanked 13,992 Times in 2,594 Posts Rep Power: 21474854	I don't know who wrote this and I'm google-lazy, but I think this sums it up: You will carry this suture Into the future The past never passes It simply amasses. --------------- Also - there is probably no escape - you will likely see them again forever if you live in the same town. I dated a woman briefly back in 2005, and I still run into her. Thankfully, we get along great now, but there was a good year where it was pretty awkward. __________________ I'm a fountain of blood. In the shape of a girl. - Bjork What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

05-05-2013, 03:07 AM	#4
s0litude Member How Do You Identify?: Transman - HRT / No Surgery Preferred Pronoun?: Male Relationship Status: Single, but enjoying the journey.... Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: North Carolina (NE) Posts: 366 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 525 Thanked 1,210 Times in 310 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Crazy-Spotting Some people are in love with the IDEA of being in love. They'd rather be with ANYONE (you aren't special) than be alone. Learn to spot them, to observe, so you can "dodge the bullet" and save yourself a world of hurt later. If you make an error on this "type", misjudge things, they will go on to the next person who pays them some attention while you're left reeling, wondering WTF happened. Learn to spot CRAZY. Run like hell. __________________ "There never was any heart truly great and generous, that was not also tender and compassionate." Robert Frost

10-24-2018, 12:15 AM	#10
Lifesymphony Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Stonefemme; Female Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Getting back my groove Join Date: Aug 2018 Location: Northeast, near where waters renew Posts: 18 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 30 Thanked 74 Times in 14 Posts Rep Power: 1252006	Learning to wait at least 24hrs before reacting when I'm upset. No matter how hard it is to keep quiet. Learning the difference between assertive and abusive. Learning to rediscover the raw vulnerable side of myself in the arms of another. __________________ Tactics without strategy is the noise before defeat.

05-21-2013, 09:23 PM	#5
wahya Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Me Preferred Pronoun?: Me Relationship Status: im good Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Massachusetts Posts: 296 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 506 Thanked 857 Times in 240 Posts Rep Power: 0	Like Bonnie Raitt's song..I Can't Make You Love Me. it's true..You can't. Long hard lesson learned.

10-03-2017, 08:21 PM	#6
Deborah* Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Relationship Status: single and not looking Join Date: Sep 2017 Location: Texas Posts: 354 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 304 Thanked 420 Times in 180 Posts Rep Power: 2658953	To be extremely careful of who you enter a relationship with. Use much intellect along with emotions. Pause yourself and ask if this is really the right relationship for you. Looks can be deceptive. Deborah

10-04-2017, 12:18 AM	#7
cathexis Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Trotskyist, Anarcho-syndicalist Preferred Pronoun?: They, Them, Their, Sir Bitch Relationship Status: open Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: Great White North! Posts: 4,332 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,812 Thanked 4,710 Times in 1,603 Posts Rep Power: 21474848	Sort of inline with the above post. Not to abandon true deep love and commitment to sizzling hot lust and blazing scenes. In short order, the sizzling and blaze will burn out. All that remained were cold embers and memories. Oh, and years of tears.

10-04-2017, 09:50 PM	#9
imperfect_cupcake Senior Member How Do You Identify?: feminine dolly dyke Preferred Pronoun?: Your Grace Relationship Status: I put my own care first Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: In a gauze of mystery Posts: 1,776 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,426 Thanked 9,726 Times in 1,613 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	That the deep friendship in the relationship should come before anything else That romance is not about grand gestures or words for me. It's about small, little acts of care that are natural. It's about stepping up for me when I can't but not in a "masculine hero" way, more like a "scrubbing bae's puke from around the toilet" way. <<< that's romance to me. I mean, that means someone sincerely loves me. That I find passion in humour, movement, and creative conversations. That loyalty is more important to me than fidelity That I'm no longer looking for the passion-romance-chemistry triad. What I want is maturity, skills, compatibility, self acceptance, self responsibility and wit. fans self