Living Apart, Together (LAT) A Support Thread

C0LLETTE · 01-09-2016, 09:52 AM

I wonder how many "apartners" have children, particularly young ones.

Living apart is sometimes a choice for those with children because they realise how difficult or disruptive introducing an "outsider" (with or without their own children ) can be...so they choose to wait.

Also, I have found that partners without children of their own often have difficulty finding their place in such a "family" . My own experience is that successful "step parenting" is a very particular and somewhat rare skill and can be far more difficult than parenting. and the introduction of the new partner often leads to the parent finding themselves in the middle of an unhappy series of conflicts which they sometimes resolve by splitting up or simply living apartnered till the children are no longer dependants.

Without generalising too too much:

When you're Young there can be many choices: if not this one, maybe the next one...you don't have that much stuff to move anyway.

In the Middle there can be many complexities and you better hope you've figured out who you are and, equally, who that other person is...particularly if you have responsibilities beyond yourself; or one day you lost your mind and opened a joint bank account, and, more importantly, you lost the allen key for your Ikea furniture.

In the Older Years, you are far better off partnering up even if it isn't made in Heaven cause there's nothing worse than lying on the kitchen floor just out of reach of your Panic Bracelet with your hungry Chihuahua starting to chew your leg off.

Personally, I'd pick a live-in partner with a sense of humour over the kids any day.

Mommy's joking, Honey xoxoxoxoxoxo

01-09-2016, 09:52 AM	#11
C0LLETTE Practically Lives Here How Do You Identify?: Depends on the day. Preferred Pronoun?: "I" and "we" Relationship Status: Very good. Thank you for asking. Join Date: Feb 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 11,501 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 16,676 Thanked 15,262 Times in 4,345 Posts Rep Power: 21474859	I wonder how many "apartners" have children, particularly young ones. Living apart is sometimes a choice for those with children because they realise how difficult or disruptive introducing an "outsider" (with or without their own children ) can be...so they choose to wait. Also, I have found that partners without children of their own often have difficulty finding their place in such a "family" . My own experience is that successful "step parenting" is a very particular and somewhat rare skill and can be far more difficult than parenting. and the introduction of the new partner often leads to the parent finding themselves in the middle of an unhappy series of conflicts which they sometimes resolve by splitting up or simply living apartnered till the children are no longer dependants. Without generalising too too much: When you're Young there can be many choices: if not this one, maybe the next one...you don't have that much stuff to move anyway. In the Middle there can be many complexities and you better hope you've figured out who you are and, equally, who that other person is...particularly if you have responsibilities beyond yourself; or one day you lost your mind and opened a joint bank account, and, more importantly, you lost the allen key for your Ikea furniture. In the Older Years, you are far better off partnering up even if it isn't made in Heaven cause there's nothing worse than lying on the kitchen floor just out of reach of your Panic Bracelet with your hungry Chihuahua starting to chew your leg off. Personally, I'd pick a live-in partner with a sense of humour over the kids any day. Mommy's joking, Honey xoxoxoxoxoxo