So what does being Bisexual, mean to you ?

[Bel]

Originally Posted by indigo

But why is that so? I can't yet draw on broad experiences as I am like "in the making" with this part of my identity. I have lesbian friends who have absolutely no problem with bisexual women/ people - and also, why should they? Yet one of them told me that for some this is problematic. For me this term somehow fits because I had relationships with men and this didn't feel wrong but at the same time it was not "it", so to speak, and yeah I was always into women as far as I can remember, at least since my teenage-hood. Then, doesn't the term bi-sexual indicate the dichotomy of sexes - a notion that I find questionable in many ways.

Hi again, Indigo!
It's true, some lesbians have serious problems with bi women, and it's very unfortunate. Why? Because bisexuals are seen as either "not really out"/closeted, indecisive, untrustworthy, sexually insatiable, upholding the patriarchy...and oh, transphobic. There are definitely bi transphobes out there in the world (bi trans folks in safer bi spaces often speak of that) but... that's an individual bigotry, not how bis define our bisexuality as a spectrum or culture. Back to your point—people OUTSIDE bi communities insist that the bi in bisexuality means two and that means bi people believe in only two genders and therefore, we're transphobic. (Nevermind that some trans folks actually *do* ID as male or female, SIGH) But.. the way we use and define bisexuality today actually comes from Kinsey and Kinsey's definition was defined as BOTH, not two, and BOTH WAYS as in BILATERAL, not "two". Kinsey defined bisexuality as an identity that moved bilaterally across the spectrum/scale (which is not perfect...) without settling on one single point. So, bisexuality is an umbrella term encompassing all these ways of moving bilaterally along that spectrum or around it.

All this to say: not even Kinsey believed in the existence of two genders. But bi people are easy targets...and most of the time.. we're battling perceptions that we don't even get to define.