11-24-2023, 11:34 AM | #981 |
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Love this thread!
My neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 o'clock this morning!
Thank goodness I was already awake practicing my bagpipes.
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11-25-2023, 07:37 PM | #982 |
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Corny Jokes
Why did the bad chicken cross the road?
For foul reasons. |
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11-27-2023, 11:40 PM | #983 |
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Where do books sleep???
— Under their covers.
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11-28-2023, 05:06 PM | #984 |
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Q: What do you give a reindeer with an upset tummy?
A: An elk a seltzer.
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-GeorgiaMa'am It's been so lonely without you here Like a bird without a song Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling . . . 'Cause nothing compares, nothing compares 2 U - Prince |
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11-30-2023, 07:31 PM | #985 |
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what games do reindeer play at sleepovers?
Truth or deer
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12-01-2023, 04:25 PM | #986 |
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Corny Jokes
why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
Cause they lactose. How do rabbits get to far away places? They take the hareplane. |
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12-02-2023, 06:18 PM | #987 |
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:)
A polar bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender.
"I'll have a gin and.................tonic." The bartender asks, "Why the big pause?" The polar bear replies, " I don't know, I've always had them."
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12-02-2023, 09:42 PM | #988 |
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Corny Jokes
What did the horse say after he tripped?
Help I've fallen and I can't giddyup What did the triangle say to the circle? You really are pointless. |
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12-03-2023, 09:03 AM | #989 |
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Did you hear about bailiff who moonlighted as a bartender???
— He served subpoena coladas. 🐾🐾🐾🍸🍸🐾🐾🐾
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12-03-2023, 09:08 AM | #990 |
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Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have a pint of blood.” The second one says “I’ll have one too.” The third vampire says “I’ll have a pint of plasma.”
The bartender says “So that will be two bloods and a blood lite???”
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12-03-2023, 09:13 AM | #991 |
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A horse walks into a bar.
The shocked bartender said “HEY!!” The horse said “Buddy, you read my mind.”
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12-03-2023, 09:52 PM | #992 |
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Corny Jokes
An elf walks into a toy store and starts going over all the toys. Manager comes over and looks at him and says, "excuse me are you suppose to be doing that?"
Elf says "I don't have time to talk I need to get this work done". Manager says, "how do I know you are suppose to have this job?" Elf says "I am in the union and I don't need this idle talk" Manager says "pardon me but how do I know you are registered?" Elf says "I am suppose to do this, orders from the big guy". Manager says "not without telling me you are here, you could be a thief" Elf says "I follow all the rules so I forgot one, big deal" Manager says "you would have known had you read the SANTA CLAUSE" |
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12-03-2023, 11:03 PM | #993 |
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What do they sing at a snowman’s birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
The field sees, the forest hears |
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12-05-2023, 09:50 PM | #994 |
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Corny jokes
I put two in high/low room by mistake. There now two mistakes this year.
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12-07-2023, 10:46 AM | #995 |
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<:
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire.
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12-08-2023, 07:22 PM | #996 |
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✨✨✨✨** voodoo ** ✨✨✨✨
What do you call a Voodoo Live Stream?
— Twitch Craft. Knock knock. Who’s there? Voodoo. Voodoo you think you are asking all these questions???
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12-08-2023, 07:40 PM | #997 |
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12-08-2023, 08:33 PM | #998 |
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What side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The out side. I bought 12 bees from a beekeeper. He gave me 13. I told him he gave me 13. He said dont worry, it's a free-bee.
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12-08-2023, 09:47 PM | #999 |
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"All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca |
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12-10-2023, 09:15 PM | #1000 |
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aha...There was a female reindeer and apparently she was mean.
Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.
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