The MirriFemme-Webutchster New BFP Dictionary

[Arwen]

VIAGONG (veye ah gohng)

Generic names: RaiseThePlankam
Brand names: Viagong

Why is Viagong prescribed?

Viagong is used in the treatment of premature gongulation and rigiditisgongitis for short-term relief of these symptoms.

Possible SideEffects: DoubleVision (by Foreigner), Feels Like The Very First Time, Like a Virgin

POPCULTURE EXAMPLE: (the first ad from the Island of Dreams for Viagong)

Hi... My name is Snow... You guys may know Me from the fact I ride that huge steed(a horse ya pervs not a butch) through B-F on My way to hell... What you don't know is pregongulation syndrome... Yes many have suffered from it.... For example Stud... He has taken this..

Viagong...... He now can go through life without having pregongulation..... He now patiently waits with the rest of the butches and his plank well that plank is now pre free...

So remember...

Viagong....


It can make you a better man too....

[Arwen]

KyssmyAvataritis (kiss meye av ah tahr eye tiss) n. From the Qwockian to whore avatars

1) A condition that afficts individuals of the femme and butch persuasion causing them to change their avatars more frequently than their underwear. Persons so afflicted can be found on Google Image search throwing up any word that might get them the image they crave. They will pee on your leg for the right avatar.

If you try to feed someone suffering from KyssmyAvataritis, please be aware that the image should be properly sized or you may draw back a bloody stump. And whatever you do, don't use their avatar EVAH. Even if they are not currently using it.

The psychological school of thought is that this ties into MEMEITIS in some fashion but KyssmyAvataritis sufferers have banded together to fight this definition.

[Arwen]

POUNDIFICATE (pown dif eh cayt) v. From the Vulgarian to force it down your throat

1) The act of saying something so forcifully that one's recipient feels like they are choking on one's words. Often accompanied by overuse of the CAPSLOCK key and exclamation point. Normally repeated verbatim if anyone so much as intimates unfamiliarity with the reason for the force in the first place.

[Arwen]

My 2 Cents (meye too sense) n. phrase from the YaddaYadda to pontificate and pull out early

1) A phrase having to do with or indicating an individual of the butch or femme persuasion's inability to stand behind what they say.

Thought to lessen the impact of strong opinions and dogmatic statements. An obligatory offering of information.

Often seen amended with "with inflation, it's my 5 cents worth".

Can be used to negate other's thoughts, feelings and input as well. "Well that's just your 2 cents. Anyone else care to speak now?"

When used judiciously, this phrase can have effect.

When one spreads one's cents anywhere and everywhere, one is often left without sense.

[Arwen]

Eating Of Brains (ee ting ohf brayns) n. from the Zombius to intimidate

1) This practice is found specifically within the Zombie tribe also referred to as Zombutches, Zombitches and collectively, Zombu/itches.

When one encounters the Zombie tribe, one can expect to be stared at but most likely not spoken to. This is the Zombie way.

Should one say something exceptionally witty or intelligent or cause a Zombie to laugh, one is in imminent danger of having one's brains eaten. This consumption of grey matter should be seen as a high compliment as the Zombie tribe only eats that which they like. This is the Zombie way.

Sometimes alternatively seen as a dismissive statement stemming from the idea that to consume someone's brain would not take that long.

Examples of brain eating can be found here.

[Arwen]

Spreading The Love (spreh ding tha luhv) v. From the Latin Amoremoremorebabyohyeahmore to get some

1) The act of parting the thighs of one's lover in order to create greater access to..... AHEM.

2) The act of telling an individual of the butch or femme persuasion how much you enjoyed something that they said on a thread. This act can be accomplished in a public or private matter.

3) The act of giving someone a little green ball (see Reputation Whoring)

[WolfyOne]

Originally Posted by Arwen

ShouldaCouldaWoulda (shuh da wuh da cuh da) n. From the German to regret

1) This is a medical condition which can afflict individuals of the butch or femme persuasion. Often accompanies a severe DramaLlamaphobia (fear of Drama Llamas). The affected individual will go to great lengths to avoid attracting Drama Llamas including never posting in public,signing on invisibly or just cruising around as a guest. Often can be found in chat and PM's talking about what they wish they'd had the nerve to say.

Highly curable. Suggestions include type therapy and finding innocuous threads to post on. Growing a spine and developing a thick skin are necessary as well

I think you need a BeenThereDoneThat to go with this one

[Arwen]

Technophobe (tek noh fohb) n. From the Greek Computerscaremea

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who has an inherent difficulty with basic computer/tv/stereo/dvd type items. Thinks in regular terms and doesn't know the difference between a bit and a byte. Can be identified easily when they try to insert a 5 1/4 disk into a 3.5 slot. Don't even try to hand them a CD-Rom. They will use it as a coaster.

Positive Identification Tips:
1. Do they have a technophile on speeddial
2. Can they spell Linus in their sleep

[Arwen]

Technophile (tek noh file) n. From the Greek ComputersImAWhizzia

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who can coax anything from any computer. Known to have alphabetical indentations on their finger tips from spending inordinate amounts of time on the keyboard (do not confuse with Hottubbian). Technophiles tend to hang out here. There are 4 known grades of technophile.

These are :
• Knowsome
• Knowalot
• Knowitall
• Linus and PapaC

[Arwen]

Car (Kahr) n. From the American GOTTAGOGOTTAGO to motor

1) To an individual of the butch persuasion, a car is a vehicle that must be maintained regularly. Oil should be checked. Gas should never fall below a certain level. The windshield should be washed as well as the body of the car. Tires should be checked. A car can be an extension of the butch hym/herself. Never mock a butch's ride.

2) To an individual of the femme persuasion, a car is a vehicle that must take them shopping, to the clubs and out for coffee. Should it make sputtering, coughing, ticking or any other kind of non-radio noise, it should be ignored until the butch says, "How long has that noise been going on?"

The correct answer is, "What noise?"

All lights should be ignored for a week at least and then plaintively pointed out to the individual of the butch persuasion by saying something similar to "Honey, does that light mean anything?"

Stereotyping may occur. Any offense should be checked at the door. Thank you.

[Arwen]

June2Pencephile (Joon too pents file) n. From the Zombian WHOAWHATSHESAID to emulate

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion who wants to grow up to be just like June2Pence who is known for her crankypants postings and June Cleaver admiration.

Can be identified by threadstalking behavior and using Juneisms in sig files. Not thought to be fatal unless it makes June cranky.

Then all bets are off, popcorn is popped and salads are shot.

[Arwen]

Detestapedastlephobia (dee test ah ped eh stahl foh bee ah) n. From the ButchianFemmian to admire


1) The fear that your reputation is getting ahead of you.

Commonly associated with those in the top ten best reputation category.

Can invoke a deep-seated need to say nothing witty or funny or intelligent for fear of attracting the green-ballers.

Sometimes associated with Reputation Whore.

Most often witnessed in PM's to others who are burdened with a large number of little green balls. Non-fatal in most cases. Can be cured immediately with a new profile.

[Arwen]

RideAstridus (rie dah strie duhs) n. From the Harleyian To VroomVroomVrrrroooooooommmmm

1) A medical condition associated with two-wheeled motorized vehicles. Afflicts individuals of the butch and femme persuasion.

Seems to be associated closely with those of the Tribe Dykus Du Bikus.

A fondness for wrapping one's legs around a hot metal cylinder that throbs (not to be confused with sex toys... although there is still some heated debate within the medical community) as well as an overwhelming need to let the asphalt roll out in front of you.

Tends to have symptoms of wanderlust and just plain old lust. A penchant for leather can also accompany this condition.

Consider chronic but not fatal unless grandstanding occurs. Frequently found to incur hearing losses in some varieties of this.

Known varieties include:

• HarleyPoundPoundPound
• KawasakiCrotchRocketitis
• Indianoliosis
• Hondadadadadada
• Suzukispeedyitis

Sufferers of this condition are easily spotted. Gallery pictures and profiles will make some mention of a bike. Chronic sufferers will have a picture of themselves on their bike in their signature file. They may also refer to their bike with a name such as Baby hence the term "Baby Lover".

[Waldo]

Arwen, honey?

I think it might be time for a new hobby. You worry me.

Funny. But you still worry me.

[Arwen]

Ignoramousrulious (ig no ray mohs roo lee oh sus) n. From the Basque to pretend ignorance of rules

1) This condition afflicts individuals of the butch and of the femme persuasions alike. It is characterized by a type of Tourette's which causes a person to post in a thread after reading one post (sometimes just the title of the thread can trigger this condition). Sufferers do not know how to begin at the beginning to determine what the boundaries of said thread are. They simply read something and respond. Often this incurs the proverbial smackdown by thread regulars who may or may not play well with others.

Said smackdown is often delivered by more than one person which can result in the Ignoramousrulios sufferer's responding in kind. This is never a good idea on the sufferer's part as it only incites the smackerdowners.

Ignoramousrulios has a 100% cure rate when treated appropriately. Often this requires repeated applications of smackdowns on the thread in question and PM's as well. Only the very aware can be completely cured.

Ignoramousrulios is often seen in the ButImANewbie individuals as well as the RuleDon'tApplyToMe type. The first is more easily cured and the second tends to attract Drama Llamas. Caution is urged in the second.

[Arwen]

SMACKDOWN (smak down) n. From the Narnian to correct

1) The act of correcting someone's behaviour in a non-gentle way. Can be delivered by an individual of the butch or femme persuasion.

Is considered extremely necessary by the Smackdowner and extremely unnecessary by the Smackdownee.

This act is best administered in PM for the first application. If necessary, can be followed up by a more stringent smackdown in public. Normally best to back off and let the mods do their job unless you like timeouts.

Often seen in cases of Ignoramousrulious and ZombieNekkidness.

[Arwen]

Fagtastic (fag tass tick) adv. From the QueerEyeian to be like us

1) To be supercalifagilistic without all the extra syllables and incumbent singing. Commonly uttered when the perfect outerwear is found such as a "fagtastic" pair of boots. Seemingly confined to the vocabulary of those of the butch persuasion, but has been seen to cross gender preferences.

Rarely, as an insult, to intimate intimacy with another of one's own gender ID.

[Arwen]

UglyMouthed Homonids (ug lee mouwthed hoe moe nids) n. From the Latin to villify

1) An individual of the butch or femme persuasion with nothing better to do than to talk nasty about others. Characterized by excessive PM's to people they don't know who might be seen chatting to their targets.

These targets are most often individuals who have indicated that the sexual admiration given by the UglyMouthed Homonid is in no way returned. This rejection causes the UglyMouthed to puff up and lash out with rumors and innuendo.

The cure for this is to go to the target individual and verify stories. Most often associated with individuals who suffer from INeedAUHaulitis and IveGottaBigEgo.

Can be a leading cause for Drama Llama and Mod sightings if it goes public. When in PM, if reported, it can cause a much worse visitation from Administratus.

[Arwen]

Pre Gongulation Disorder (pree gon gew lay shun) n. Latin Gongus Interruptus as described by Dr. ChiquitaGot MyBanana, MD


1) A rare disorder found only in males of the Purple Loin Cloth tribe who dwell primarily on the Island of Dreams. This condition is time-sensitive and lasts from 10-40 minutes. Seemingly painful anticipation that comes from long, lengthy hard waits. Can be relieved by stroking a large round disk with any object that come to hand. Elephants, frozen boxers, stilettos and humans have all been used.

NOTE: A relief remedy does exist but you can only get it from Dr. Snow Vixen of the Island. She is a member of the Purple Sarong tribe who seem to gain much pleasure from members of the Purple Loin Cloth tribe being in a continual Pre-Gongulation state.

Seems to be confined to the weekdays around 4pm EST.

Field notes supplied by I Wannabe Oneofthem, PHD.

Fondly dedicated to The Lady Snow

[Arwen]

COCKtail (n) (cohk tale) n. From the Island to party

1) This is a moment in time for some. For others it is a way of life. COCKtail is different from the more common cocktail in that cocktail is merely a drink.
A COCKtail is a way of life. Primarily found on the Island of Dreams , COCKtails are sexual allusions to what happens at night on the Island.

It is a secret code for the removing of sarongs, loincloths and inhibitions. Everyone should have at least one COCKtail moment in their lives.