Identity, Authenticity - Do they conflict?

[~baby~doll~]

Nat you pose interesting questions. The idea of identity is always muddled if we don’t stop and examine who and what we are. I look female does this make me one? No. My idea of who I am is what makes me who and what I am. We live our identity and it is not what society deems worthy of handing to us. There is a constant search for who we are, if we decide to go looking for the names. The names we find are more for others to grab onto so they better understand us or me.

Originally Posted by Nat

I've had an internal debate going about what identity is and what its role is in a human life.

It is a good debate to have. This question drives the search to see if this names we call ourselves add to our humanity.

Originally Posted by Nat

I chose the above quote to start this discussion because it contains within it a small definition of identity which I had not heard: *

“…when you start to look at ideas that way, you start to see ideas as tiny stars in the vast space of your mind, even if they feel like they are right here, like they are everything. But they're not. It's an illusion."”

- Rebecca Walker -
The idea of identity is within the human spirit. We are all as different as night and day. Our identities will never match up. You and I may both like tomato soup. You might like more salt or pepper. You can’t really know how tomato soup tastes to me. So how would it ever be possible for you to really know who I am? I guess this concept is what makes these identities we carry around illusion.

Originally Posted by Nat

identity: a way to avoid having to become an authentic person

Does the idea of identity really keep us from being authentic or does it make us more authentic as it whispers to others how we define our being in words. I could say I identify and a woman. Well this helps make me more tangible. I can add I am queer. Now you know more as do I because this was something I learned about myself. I am therefore more authentic to me and to you. We can take the search even father and find more terms that can identify us as well.

Originally Posted by Nat

I identify as a lot of different stuff. This definition interests me, because I hadn't heard it put that way before, though I did feel a great deal of pressure to identify when I first came out.

Sure we identify as a lot of stuff. These aren’t labels identities are realities of the core of us. They name the spirit and nature of what we are and who we are. Yes we identify as so many things. Woman, lesbians, wives, and so on into infinity language wise. When I first came out which I never really did the terms were simple. I could be queer, dyke, or lesbian. I did not know more names. There was no place to research as there were no websites or computers.
Now in my search in today’s language I can define this so I am more authentic to you and me. I can truly hang a name on my identity. Does it matter not really because I am who I am. Through my search I can tell so much and you would know me better. I would be more authentic.

Originally Posted by Nat

Do you feel the identity or identities you carry are barriers to authenticity or do you think of them as means of expressing your authenticity?

I think naming our identities helps others see a more tangible us. We reveal ourselves and so it adds to their knowledge of what it is like to be me. I am Third Gender Queer, now you know this and get a better feel for me and my nature. It inhibits nothing and adds so much. You may not know what that feels like but if you google and define it you can get an idea.

Originally Posted by Nat

Or, to put it another way, what do you feel the relationship is between identity and authenticity? *

If we have really bothered to self-examine then the named identities add to others understanding of us.

Originally Posted by Nat

Do you feel like identity unites or divides or both or neither?

Neither it promotes better understanding which can unite or divide depending on who is listening.

Originally Posted by Nat

What does identity offer you?

It offers me a chance to tell you what it is like being me and who me really is or as closely as the words can get us.

Originally Posted by Nat

What does it take from you?

It takes away the mystery because I had to seek the words and the definitions.

Originally Posted by Nat

Do you see your identity as flexible?

We are always in flux or I am but most of wht I would say about me is true enough of the time to be honest.

Originally Posted by Nat

Have you felt pressure to identify?

Never, I have sought knowledge of self and this opens doors to realities I never knew existed.

Originally Posted by Nat

I have so many mixed feelings at the moment, but do feel some division between my identity and my most authentic self - but I feel like my most authentic self is the person in charge of my identity if that makes sense. I feel like here in this community, I bring both my identity and my authenticity, but then if I hung out with you, you might get a different and equally authentic experience.

My identity is my authentic self. I have as much control over my identity as I have of being other than queer. I don’t have control over most of it. I can put on a fancy dress instead of a suit and tie. It changes the exterior of my identity but it does not change me in the least. I will still be the one that hates wearing dresses. If I see or hear the words you use to identify yourself I am closer to your truth and the authentic truth and just seeing you as a lesbian. There is more to you than that and I would love to learn that truth. IT makes our bond stronger and our relationship deeper.

[Deborah*]

I'm very authentic.. and genuine. That's the best way to be in my opinion. The people you attract by being your true self are the ones who like you for who you really are.

I've always been a femme who has always liked butch lesbians. It's just something that's natural to me.

Deborah