Seeking advice from the Butches...Please...

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by morningstar55

this makes me go back to my ? on the 1st page......... what about the non princess girls out here?? where do we stand?? with all the guys here??
have any tips for us non princess girls??

Hi MS!!

I am no princess I assure you. So I stand pretty good, not hard to get someone's attention. It's sometimes as simple as a hello, my name is..



and sometimes it's just about a look and then just wait.

orrrrrrrrrrr sometimes a girl has to do what a girl has to do an just flat out say.

Hi I'm ______ you're cute, I'm cute buy you a cup of coffee?

The worse thing that can happen is they are just not into you.

That's ok though, cause out there someone is.

[KimKawashima]

Really now, no one should be getting offended about anything out here in this realm. We are all posting about our own point of views and answering honestly as we perceive it. Honestly, their are stereotypes of some sort regardless of our individuality. If you can't embrace them and find humor in them and brush them off, perhaps you should crawl under a rock and stop visiting sites where real people have real opinions. I'm a Boi/Butch/Daddie/Master and I look like a Guy and act Masculine. My Femme is a Baby Girl/Femme/Slave. She acts like a Femme, looks like a Femme etc. No one would guess she is a Lesbian. Hence the Names we give ourselves, hence the Stereotypes otherwise their wouldn't be these labels, yes? Smile and be happy and get over it.

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

Really now, no one should be getting offended about anything out here in this realm. We are all posting about our own point of views and answering honestly as we perceive it. Honestly, their are stereotypes of some sort regardless of our individuality. If you can't embrace them and find humor in them and brush them off, perhaps you should crawl under a rock and stop visiting sites where real people have real opinions. I'm a Boi/Butch/Daddie/Master and I look like a Guy and act Masculine. My Femme is a Baby Girl/Femme/Slave. She acts like a Femme, looks like a Femme etc. No one would guess she is a Lesbian. Hence the Names we give ourselves, hence the Stereotypes otherwise their wouldn't be these labels, yes? Smile and be happy and get over it.

*s*

I am ok with calling out stereotypes.

I am not fond of sexism either and ok with calling that out as well.

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

Really now, no one should be getting offended about anything out here in this realm. We are all posting about our own point of views and answering honestly as we perceive it. Honestly, their are stereotypes of some sort regardless of our individuality. If you can't embrace them and find humor in them and brush them off, perhaps you should crawl under a rock and stop visiting sites where real people have real opinions. I'm a Boi/Butch/Daddie/Master and I look like a Guy and act Masculine. My Femme is a Baby Girl/Femme/Slave. She acts like a Femme, looks like a Femme etc. No one would guess she is a Lesbian. Hence the Names we give ourselves, hence the Stereotypes otherwise their wouldn't be these labels, yes? Smile and be happy and get over it.

The very notion that the people who spoke of their offense need to get a sense of humor is, in itself, hilarious, and also, a little offensive.

It's not about lacking a sense of humor, it's about not wanting to embrace degrading, old fashioned and absurd stereotypes of the people we are not. Accepting stereotypes isn't something anyone should have to sit comfortably with.

Stereotypes and labels are not the same thing. My "label" does not instantly attribute to me a plethora of behaviors or attributes that speak to who I am. If they do, then someone isn't paying attention.

Again, I suggest evolution, it's a remarkable tool.

[KimKawashima]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

*s*

I am ok with calling out stereotypes.

I am not fond of sexism either and ok with calling that out as well.

That wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Just I have seen too much whining about "...don't use stereotypes, I'm offended..." So I was just nipping it in the butt before too much whining occurred. Whiners are one of my pet peeves. This entire site is full of so many different people and lets be honest, some of us can be lumped together under labels, but yes admittedly some of us can not be, we are exceptions to the rules and categories. I love all my brothers and sisters equally and enjoy all of our craziness and differences. Our lives are complicated enough and we don't need whiners and complainers to drag us down. So I was just making a point....If you can't stand the heat get the F out of the kitchen.

[KimKawashima]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

The very notion that the people who spoke of their offense need to get a sense of humor is, in itself, hilarious, and also, a little offensive.

It's not about lacking a sense of humor, it's about not wanting to embrace degrading, old fashioned and absurd stereotypes of the people we are not. Accepting stereotypes isn't something anyone should have to sit comfortably with.

Stereotypes and labels are not the same thing. My "label" does not instantly attribute to me a plethora of behaviors or attributes that speak to who I am. If they do, then someone isn't paying attention.

Again, I suggest evolution, it's a remarkable tool.

I suppose you can slap another "label" on a word all you want but the action remains the some. So okay, my evolved word for "stereotype" is "label."

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

That wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Just I have seen too much whining about "...don't use stereotypes, I'm offended..." So I was just nipping it in the butt before too much whining occurred. Whiners are one of my pet peeves. This entire site is full of so many different people and lets be honest, some of us can be lumped together under labels, but yes admittedly some of us can not be, we are exceptions to the rules and categories. I love all my brothers and sisters equally and enjoy all of our craziness and differences. Our lives are complicated enough and we don't need whiners and complainers to drag us down. So I was just making a point....If you can't stand the heat get the F out of the kitchen.

*s*

Good thing I never have liked the kitchen!!!

I am still ok with calling out stereotypes and pesky lil isms



Thanks for the dialogue

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

That wasn't directed at anyone in particular. Just I have seen too much whining about "...don't use stereotypes, I'm offended..." So I was just nipping it in the butt before too much whining occurred. Whiners are one of my pet peeves. This entire site is full of so many different people and lets be honest, some of us can be lumped together under labels, but yes admittedly some of us can not be, we are exceptions to the rules and categories. I love all my brothers and sisters equally and enjoy all of our craziness and differences. Our lives are complicated enough and we don't need whiners and complainers to drag us down. So I was just making a point....If you can't stand the heat get the F out of the kitchen.

And you think calling people - other site members - "whiners" is the way to "nip something in the" bud? Interesting approach.

I'm just trying to follow the logic here, and wonder if you see any irony in attacking people who's pet peeve is stereotypes, while claiming the right to air your pet peeve.

I think it's safe to say, it's the "whiners and complainers" who have brought the heat, and we're firmly in the kitchen.

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

I suppose you can slap another "label" on a word all you want but the action remains the some. So okay, my evolved word for "stereotype" is "label."

It may be your word, but you would be speaking a different language than most people. "Label" and "stereotype" aren't even in the same genus.

[Julie]

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

I think it's safe to say, it's the "whiners and complainers" who have brought the heat, and we're firmly in the kitchen.

Contrary to Femme Stereotypical (love those butches who want to put me in the kitchen)...

LOL Not this Girl ~ No way - No how ~ Am I in the kitchen
I will wear an apron (and that is all) but never in the kitchen... Ahem!
Scary - banish the vision Julie (make it go away).

[betenoire]

Excuse me, but would you people please stop arguing for a few minutes and light my cigarette?

Thanks!

[BullDog]

Welcome to BFP, CausticPrincess.

[Ebon]

Originally Posted by betenoire

Excuse me, but would you people please stop arguing for a few minutes and light my cigarette?

Thanks!

There you go bete... I couldn't find a lighter one.

[sweetbutch26]

again i wasn't directing it at femmes. but yes it did happen. i mistook a straight lady for a femme and got hit with a purse and yea it hurt. not sure how saying something that actually happened is stereotyping O.o

[betenoire]

Originally Posted by Organicbutch

There you go bete... I couldn't find a lighter one.

Thanks.

Now I feel insensitive for talking about smoking.

[Guy]

I was hit with a purse once, felt kinda good actually.

[KimKawashima]

I don't understand your logic and you don't understand mine. Can't it just left at that. And my original point was why start with someone for using a so called stereotype if that is what we choose to do? So me expressing wanting to use them and you telling me it offends you is no different than you telling me I can not tell your offense to my stereotyping is offensive. It is a vicious cycle. So needless to say if you want to have at it. Call me old fashioned, but I have better things to do like fight for our rights as I have since high school and not waste any more of my energy on this

[Velvetkitten]

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

Is work the right place?

Isn't there some other social network?

Caustic P if a cute Butch is sitting in your chair go for it. You are in the proper line of work for it and as Kim said just use a neutral line of questions.

[Mister Bent]

Originally Posted by Guy In Florida

I was hit with a purse once, felt kinda good actually.

I prefer a good slap in the face, but that's a different thread...

[KimKawashima]

Originally Posted by Velvetkitten

Caustic P if a cute Butch is sitting in your chair go for it. You are in the proper line of work for it and as Kim said just use a neutral line of questions.

Absolutely, Hair Dressers actually have a lot more freedom than some other lines of work depending on the salon. Being in a mall on your breaks or before or after work you have a lot of people around you as well. Good luck in your search!

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

I don't understand your logic and you don't understand mine. Can't it just left at that. And my original point was why start with someone for using a so called stereotype if that is what we choose to do? So me expressing wanting to use them and you telling me it offends you is no different than you telling me I can not tell your offense to my stereotyping is offensive. It is a vicious cycle. So needless to say if you want to have at it. Call me old fashioned, but I have better things to do like fight for our rights as I have since high school and not waste any more of my energy on this

We call out stereotypes because some of us do not fit them and it makes it difficult and frankly it's offensive to be cast into something we are not.

I am still ok with calling them out even though you think it is not ok.



Snow~A Masculine Femme Top Leather Daddy who hates the kitchen and leads her household.