Seeking advice from the Butches...Please... - Page 4

betenoire · 09-19-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mister Bent

I prefer a good slap in the face, but that's a different thread...

Dirty!

I think the OP should try the greyhound station. No exaggeration, but I've met several Butches at greyhound stations. I don't know what that's all about. The cutest one EVER was in Detroit - but I was attached at the time so I just chatted and smoked and left.

Seriously. Greyhound.

Ebon · 09-19-2010, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KimKawashima

I don't understand your logic and you don't understand mine. Can't it just left at that. And my original point was why start with someone for using a so called stereotype if that is what we choose to do? So me expressing wanting to use them and you telling me it offends you is no different than you telling me I can not tell your offense to my stereotyping is offensive. It is a vicious cycle. So needless to say if you want to have at it. Call me old fashioned, but I have better things to do like fight for our rights as I have since high school and not waste any more of my energy on this

Quote:

Originally Posted by The_Lady_Snow

We call out stereotypes because some of us do not fit them and it makes it difficult and frankly it's offensive to be cast into something we are not.

I am still ok with calling them out even though you think it is not ok.

Snow~A Masculine Femme Top Leather Daddy who hates the kitchen and leads her household.

Kumbaya!!!!!!!!

CP welcome to the planet. I hope you enjoy....

I do love it here and I enjoy it here with all of my brothers and sisters.

waxnrope · 09-19-2010, 12:02 PM

And awayyyyy we go ...

Seriously, you wouldn't find me or SOME other butches at the mall. Just saying. Then again, unlike the other posts, I haven't any other real useful suggestions

Perhaps a concert or other musical event. A dance? Then again, library? Lol. I have a few butch friends who are librarians, if you like that stereotype. Lol. Why limit yourself to one location? If you persist, as was suggested on the first page, you'll do fine.

morningstar55 · 09-19-2010, 12:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CausticPrincess

LOVE this site...I am having fun reading and dreaming.......This Femme is yearning for her STUD......ButchDaddy....SweetBoi........ There is a large community here where I live, but havent any idea how to find my butch!! Its almost like they are all in hiding!! ...asking a word of advice from the butches out there......

I cut hair in the local Mall.....How do I make a first move if I see a sweet Butch strolling the mall or in my chair...is that uncouth..? Should I just zip it and let her find me...?? Give her direct eye contact...??? HELP!!

Happy Sunday everyone!!!

gawd..... im such a dork sometimes..........
Caustic. welcome to the Planet...... lol ..... this is a very good topic for alot of us girls here... ty

sweetbutch26 · 09-19-2010, 12:07 PM

what wax said. you can't limit yourself to one specific place. you kind of have to put yourself out a little more. if you live in a large lgbt community check for local events coming your way.

Gemme · 09-19-2010, 12:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

In my purse I carry whatever I happen to be reading at the moment, my new Nintendo DSi (woo!), a black magic marker, and my cigarettes.

I do not carry a lighter. Instead I just stand around holding my cigarette to my lips and looking helpless until some drooling masculine type rushes up to light it for me.

It should be a red marker. I saw an American Dad episode where Stan took his son, Steve, to a war re-enactment. They used red markers instead of weapons. I think it could catch on.

Quote:

Originally Posted by EzeeTiger

Black magic marker??? What are you a tagger?

That's classified.

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

No. It's just sometimes I come across things that need to be edited.

So, YOU'RE the one......

Quote:

Originally Posted by betenoire

Thanks.

Now I feel insensitive for talking about smoking.

You should be.

My lungs are offended at the very mention of it.

to BFP, CausticPrincess!

Just be yourself and those who you are meant to meet, you will.

Guy · 09-19-2010, 12:41 PM

You would find ME at the mall, jus sayin'

Sam · 09-19-2010, 01:06 PM

uses a barber..

CausticPrincess · 09-19-2010, 04:35 PM

Hmmmmm.....lots of great advice....a few slams......a comment about my name.....and some heated discussion......wow......and I just had a simple question.....no fear friends...I FEAR no one and dont run away from opinions or opinionated people.....its all good.....we are all here for the same thing.....friendship...comraderie....support.....a nswers......and if one is really lucky....LOVE......

Kisses and hugz to all....

K

Tcountry · 09-19-2010, 04:44 PM

*Tip Hat*
All princess and non-princess types are looked at...sometimes stared at...

I don't remember who said it because I am not good at quoting, but it is true the more you put yourself out there, the better chances you will have...the worst anyone can do is say no (that goes for all of us, butch and femme).
It is interesting tho that a lot of us are very flirty in here and not so much in person...so establishing a connection in here is one way to go about possibly more, and if it doesn't work out I bet you get some pretty great friends from it. You'll be surprised how much you learn about a person when you actually "have to" talk to them...lol *teasing, sarcasm*

Have a gret Sunday, what's left of it...& good Luck!

morningstar55 · 09-19-2010, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tcountry

*Tip Hat*
All princess and non-princess types are looked at...sometimes stared at...

I don't remember who said it because I am not good at quoting, but it is true the more you put yourself out there, the better chances you will have...the worst anyone can do is say no (that goes for all of us, butch and femme).
It is interesting tho that a lot of us are very flirty in here and not so much in person...so establishing a connection in here is one way to go about possibly more, and if it doesn't work out I bet you get some pretty great friends from it. You'll be surprised how much you learn about a person when you actually "have to" talk to them...lol *teasing, sarcasm*

Have a gret Sunday, what's left of it...& good Luck!

.... very good post.. T

......
btw........ I think your tractor is sexy... hehehe

betenoire · 09-19-2010, 07:54 PM

And just so we're clear - I wasn't kidding about Greyhound stations. They're a fucking GOLDMINE.

But, really. I find if you want to meet people in general, you go to where your type of person would normally hang out.

Like 'em smart? Start lurking around independent bookstores. Like 'em pretentious? Start lurking around coffee shops (not starbucks). Like 'em nerdy? Start lurking around comic book stores. Like 'em to completely forget you exist for weeks at a time? Start lurking around video game stores.

And GO TO THE BAR. That's the whole reason that queer bars exist. So we have somewhere to drink, dance, and meet other queers. And if dance clubs are too loud/obnoxious/meat markety for you (and, believe me I understand that. oy)...it doesn't have to be a dance club. You said where you live has a pretty big community - so USE that community. I'm sure there has got to be at least one sit-down Dyke bar - go there and sit down. Does your city or a nearby city have a gayborhood? Yes? GO THERE. Walk around. Get a latte and read a book. Pet strange people's dogs. Say hello to strangers. SMILE. Stare back.

Edit!!!

Get in touch with your nearest LGBTI centre. Sign up for some stuff - I bet they have stuff. Take a self-defense class for Queer Women. Volunteer for Queer events. Go to book launches. See live bands. Participate in protests. Eat alone at sidewalk cafes. Just GET OUTSIDE.

KimKawashima · 09-19-2010, 08:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CausticPrincess

Hmmmmm.....lots of great advice....a few slams......a comment about my name.....and some heated discussion......wow......and I just had a simple question.....no fear friends...I FEAR no one and dont run away from opinions or opinionated people.....its all good.....we are all here for the same thing.....friendship...comraderie....support.....a nswers......and if one is really lucky....LOVE......

Kisses and hugz to all....

K

I certainly hope you find what you are looking for. There are plenty of good butches out there that are looking for someone. My last relationship was 9 years and I met her at her job. I met my Baby Girl I am with now online and she is wonderful. You never know when love is going to blind side you.

Julie · 09-20-2010, 08:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CausticPrincess

Hmmmmm.....lots of great advice....a few slams......a comment about my name.....and some heated discussion......wow......and I just had a simple question.....no fear friends...I FEAR no one and dont run away from opinions or opinionated people.....its all good.....we are all here for the same thing.....friendship...comraderie....support.....a nswers......and if one is really lucky....LOVE......

Kisses and hugz to all....

K

I have to say... I am really humbled by your response to all of the various posts you have received. I being one of the "more heated," people here who responded.

You are here, and you did not run away, but have remained to even honor those of us, who might not have honored you in such a way.

We are all here for the same reason, Princess (not feeling you are so Caustic).

Welcome to the Planet and I look forward to reading some more of your words, and I wish for you - that in this massive world of ours, you are so blessed with finding that one special love in your life.

Julie (Caustic Yesterday - Still a bit today).

CausticPrincess · 09-20-2010, 11:52 AM

Awww...Julie....THANK YOU.......HUGE HUGZ......I can be TRULY Caustic...hence the name.....but no reason here.....everyone has bad days....good days.. long days and absolutely glorious days......and they all come and go....I just roll with the punches (when I can)...I took NO OFFENSE to your words.....Its all good darlin......
I am a Princess...a Diva....but with a WICKED tough skin....and a bit of a big ego ...LOL.....So lets have some coffee and solve all the worlds problems !!!

K

Tcountry · 09-20-2010, 01:34 PM

How bout some tea...(or T

)lol
Sorry...that is my mood today...
so great that you just put it out there and made the rest of us think..
I really like actually having to think about a topic and in the process put myself out there for whatever comes to be...("caustic" or not...sometimes it is a friendly reminder to get burnt)
Have a Great Week!! & Welcome again!

SassyLeo · 09-20-2010, 01:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Isadora

be yourself
smile and be happy
don't give a shit about what others think about how you are and enjoy your life, among many other things, this is what attracts people.

Sometimes strolling through a thread is like walking the gauntlet of the mean girls.

Isadora

I agree! When you exude -insert feeling here (happy, excited, fun, etc)- energy, I believe you attract like-minded energry

julieisafemme · 09-20-2010, 02:00 PM

I am new to the butch/femme dynamic. A good friend asked me one time how do you queer yourself? He was asking when I am not with my partner how do I communicate to the world at large that I am queer? I thought this was an excellent question. I am still working out how that works for me. I guess what I am saying is that if you queer yourself in general then butches will see you too!!!

rlin · 09-20-2010, 03:25 PM

i suggest the greatest femme weapon of all time...
eye contact... and a smile...
even here... in text.... it still works...
i guess i should add....if you look at me... and i notice... (i own a bit of a 2x4 mentality...)
if you look at me and smile and then put yourself into my space sometime... even as thick as i can be i will still see the writing on the wall....
in my case after i figure it out i will do the rest...
others... you may actually have to talk to...

KayCee · 09-20-2010, 06:16 PM

This helps....

....

09-19-2010, 04:44 PM	#70
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	Tip Hat All princess and non-princess types are looked at...sometimes stared at... I don't remember who said it because I am not good at quoting, but it is true the more you put yourself out there, the better chances you will have...the worst anyone can do is say no (that goes for all of us, butch and femme). It is interesting tho that a lot of us are very flirty in here and not so much in person...so establishing a connection in here is one way to go about possibly more, and if it doesn't work out I bet you get some pretty great friends from it. You'll be surprised how much you learn about a person when you actually "have to" talk to them...lol teasing, sarcasm Have a gret Sunday, what's left of it...& good Luck! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

09-19-2010, 07:54 PM	#72
betenoire Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Satan in a Sunday Hat Preferred Pronoun?: Maow Relationship Status: Married Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: The Chemical Valley Posts: 4,086 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,312 Thanked 8,742 Times in 2,566 Posts Rep Power: 21474855	And just so we're clear - I wasn't kidding about Greyhound stations. They're a fucking GOLDMINE. But, really. I find if you want to meet people in general, you go to where your type of person would normally hang out. Like 'em smart? Start lurking around independent bookstores. Like 'em pretentious? Start lurking around coffee shops (not starbucks). Like 'em nerdy? Start lurking around comic book stores. Like 'em to completely forget you exist for weeks at a time? Start lurking around video game stores. And GO TO THE BAR. That's the whole reason that queer bars exist. So we have somewhere to drink, dance, and meet other queers. And if dance clubs are too loud/obnoxious/meat markety for you (and, believe me I understand that. oy)...it doesn't have to be a dance club. You said where you live has a pretty big community - so USE that community. I'm sure there has got to be at least one sit-down Dyke bar - go there and sit down. Does your city or a nearby city have a gayborhood? Yes? GO THERE. Walk around. Get a latte and read a book. Pet strange people's dogs. Say hello to strangers. SMILE. Stare back. Edit!!! Get in touch with your nearest LGBTI centre. Sign up for some stuff - I bet they have stuff. Take a self-defense class for Queer Women. Volunteer for Queer events. Go to book launches. See live bands. Participate in protests. Eat alone at sidewalk cafes. Just GET OUTSIDE. __________________ bête noire \bet-NWAHR\, noun: One that is particularly disliked or that is to be avoided. Last edited by betenoire; 09-19-2010 at 08:00 PM.

09-20-2010, 01:34 PM	#76
Tcountry Senior Member How Do You Identify?: Country Boi Preferred Pronoun?: call it as u see it Relationship Status: Completely...complete ;) Join Date: Aug 2010 Location: Either at the beach or in the pool Posts: 1,665 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,929 Thanked 4,287 Times in 1,181 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	How bout some tea...(or T )lol Sorry...that is my mood today... so great that you just put it out there and made the rest of us think.. I really like actually having to think about a topic and in the process put myself out there for whatever comes to be...("caustic" or not...sometimes it is a friendly reminder to get burnt) Have a Great Week!! & Welcome again! __________________ "You don't Find life worth living; You MAKE IT that way"

09-20-2010, 02:00 PM	#78
julieisafemme Member How Do You Identify?: Femme Woman Preferred Pronoun?: She Relationship Status: Married to Greyson Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: In the present Posts: 828 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 3,156 Thanked 3,445 Times in 660 Posts Rep Power: 21474851	I am new to the butch/femme dynamic. A good friend asked me one time how do you queer yourself? He was asking when I am not with my partner how do I communicate to the world at large that I am queer? I thought this was an excellent question. I am still working out how that works for me. I guess what I am saying is that if you queer yourself in general then butches will see you too!!! __________________ Happiness Bubbling!

09-20-2010, 06:16 PM	#80
KayCee Member How Do You Identify?: Multifaceted Queer Femme Preferred Pronoun?: It's a secret Relationship Status: And from my lips hye drew the hallelujah Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: Somewhere over the rainbow clicking my heels Posts: 732 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,646 Thanked 1,725 Times in 521 Posts Rep Power: 8635874	This helps........ __________________ "Being Femme means my feminism and my femininity walk hand in hand "

09-19-2010, 12:02 PM	#63
waxnrope Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 5/27/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: hy ho, hy ho; he, she, it, whatever Relationship Status: Going slow ... Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: in her orifices ... la frontera Posts: 1,433 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 6,414 Thanked 2,958 Times in 953 Posts Rep Power: 0	And awayyyyy we go ... Seriously, you wouldn't find me or SOME other butches at the mall. Just saying. Then again, unlike the other posts, I haven't any other real useful suggestions Perhaps a concert or other musical event. A dance? Then again, library? Lol. I have a few butch friends who are librarians, if you like that stereotype. Lol. Why limit yourself to one location? If you persist, as was suggested on the first page, you'll do fine.

09-19-2010, 12:07 PM	#65
sweetbutch26 Junior Member How Do You Identify?: Butch/stud/boi Preferred Pronoun?: mr/he :p Relationship Status: single Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: Goldsboro NC Posts: 55 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 34 Thanked 66 Times in 27 Posts Rep Power: 1506	what wax said. you can't limit yourself to one specific place. you kind of have to put yourself out a little more. if you live in a large lgbt community check for local events coming your way.

09-19-2010, 12:41 PM	#67
Guy Senior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: . Posts: 1,858 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 2,258 Thanked 2,574 Times in 889 Posts Rep Power: 21474852	You would find ME at the mall, jus sayin'

09-19-2010, 01:06 PM	#68
Sam Timed Out How Do You Identify?: Permanently Banned 2/11/2011 Preferred Pronoun?: He Relationship Status: I'll let you know Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 1,131 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,101 Thanked 668 Times in 363 Posts Rep Power: 0	uses a barber..

09-19-2010, 04:35 PM	#69
CausticPrincess Junior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: . Posts: 12 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23 Thanked 29 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 3670	Hmmmmm.....lots of great advice....a few slams......a comment about my name.....and some heated discussion......wow......and I just had a simple question.....no fear friends...I FEAR no one and dont run away from opinions or opinionated people.....its all good.....we are all here for the same thing.....friendship...comraderie....support.....a nswers......and if one is really lucky....LOVE...... Kisses and hugz to all.... K

09-20-2010, 11:52 AM	#75
CausticPrincess Junior Member How Do You Identify?: . Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: . Posts: 12 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 23 Thanked 29 Times in 4 Posts Rep Power: 3670	Awww...Julie....THANK YOU.......HUGE HUGZ......I can be TRULY Caustic...hence the name.....but no reason here.....everyone has bad days....good days.. long days and absolutely glorious days......and they all come and go....I just roll with the punches (when I can)...I took NO OFFENSE to your words.....Its all good darlin...... I am a Princess...a Diva....but with a WICKED tough skin....and a bit of a big ego ...LOL.....So lets have some coffee and solve all the worlds problems !!! K

09-20-2010, 03:25 PM	#79
rlin Member How Do You Identify?: human Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: nomad Posts: 712 My Photo Gallery Thanks: 1,450 Thanked 1,190 Times in 451 Posts Rep Power: 1004848	i suggest the greatest femme weapon of all time... eye contact... and a smile... even here... in text.... it still works... i guess i should add....if you look at me... and i notice... (i own a bit of a 2x4 mentality...) if you look at me and smile and then put yourself into my space sometime... even as thick as i can be i will still see the writing on the wall.... in my case after i figure it out i will do the rest... others... you may actually have to talk to...