06-18-2013, 04:58 PM | #241 |
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there were these 3 rabbits. put, put put, and put put put. well put got sick. so put put and put put put took put to the doctor. o it was awful, put died. put put and put put put grieved some kind of terrible. not too long after put died, put put got sick. so put put put took put put to the doctor. put put put was hopping and screaming all over that clinic! and he told the doctor, "please doctor please! don't let put put die! i've already got one put in the grave!"
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06-21-2013, 09:33 AM | #242 |
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DO NOT READ THE NEXT SENTENCE.
You little rebel. I like you. |
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06-21-2013, 10:50 AM | #243 |
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The fact that its bring your child to work day. Seeing as I have no kids, I found it quite entertaining myself and some older widow/spinster types are the only ones sitting doing work still instead of taking pics with Smokey the Bear, carrying Animal Balloons, and eating cake. LOL!
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06-22-2013, 06:29 PM | #244 |
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I couldn't believe my dad had been stealing from his job as a road worker,
although saying that, all the signs were there. |
08-05-2013, 01:15 PM | #245 |
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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that?" "Oh," replies the husband, "she's my mistress." "Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce." "I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don't get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Lexus's in the garage not to mention the yacht club. But the decision is yours." Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. "Who's that woman with Jim ?" asks the wife. "That's his mistress," says her husband. "Ours is prettier," she replies. |
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09-24-2013, 11:46 AM | #246 |
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I dont want to brag or make anyone jealous but ... i can still fit into the earrings i wore in high school.
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09-26-2013, 09:45 AM | #247 |
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My wife and I walked past a swanky new restaurant last night.
"Did you smell that food?" she asked. "Incredible!" Being the kind hearted man that I am, I thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her." So we walked past it again. |
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10-06-2013, 03:18 PM | #248 |
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'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
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10-08-2013, 08:32 AM | #249 |
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'I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she’d popped her clogs.
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10-08-2013, 09:22 AM | #250 |
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Things I have said to my doc:
"Round IS a shape so shut up!" "Yeah, about that exercise thing...you see my thighs would rub together creating friction that would catch my underwear on fire, and seeing how that would be considered as arson, insurance don't cover that, so no, I won't be exercising any time soon."
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Know that The Universe made you in perfection. And know that there are people out there who recognize this. -Me "Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark." ~ Henri Frederic Amiel |
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10-20-2013, 05:37 AM | #251 |
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I went down to my local supermarket and I said: "I want to make a complaint. This vinegar's got lumps in it". He said: "Those are pickled onions."
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11-03-2013, 09:49 AM | #252 |
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can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.
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11-03-2013, 11:25 AM | #253 |
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This pic just cracked me up and i just couldn't resist going for the long caption
In an attempt to find new ways to keep guns in the hands of US citizens, various gun groups banned together to develop guns for pets. The tiny rodent rocket launcher series is very popular with the "Arms For Animals" crowd who believe, among other things, that the right to bear arms should include actual bears... as long as they are pets of course. We can't have the deer and the ducks shooting back now can we. |
11-10-2013, 11:17 AM | #254 |
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"All cruelty springs from weakness" Seneca |
06-19-2014, 12:30 PM | #255 |
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Did you hear about the guy who got run over by a steam train? He was chuffed to bits.
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04-04-2017, 08:08 AM | #256 |
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How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They wouldn't do it. It's a hardware problem.
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05-13-2017, 01:04 PM | #257 |
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Pole bachit, a lis chuye.
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05-13-2017, 03:30 PM | #258 | |
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Next time you're here, would you post a few more??? Please and Thank you!! ---K---
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05-13-2017, 03:36 PM | #259 | |
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04-07-2024, 10:09 AM | #260 |
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“If you were a vegetable you’d be a Cutecumber,” said a parent to their child.
(I heard this last week while in line at the grocery store).
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