10-22-2013, 09:28 PM | #101 |
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Hi there,
I just started making postings tonight. ValKyrie, your post could have almost been my own. I fell for a Stone Butch top a couple years ago, and I was hooked. Until then I had only been involved with men, and unhappily so. Unfortunately the distance was a deal breaker, though we have remained best friends. When I started dating again at 50, I knew I would probably never again be attracted to a man...beyond a certain point. But trying to find a stone butch on a dating site....is the proverbial needle in a haystack! I absolutely LOVE stone butch, especially dominant ones with a little "edge". And I really HATE the term "pillow princess". As if the Stone Femme is always selfish and has nothing to give back. Sure there are women like that, lesbian or straight... but I love to make my stone butch partner happy....in whatever ways hys heart desires. |
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11-08-2013, 09:42 PM | #102 |
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I think that butch-femme dynamics are fascinating. However, I feel that the term "stone" femme is far too confusing because it can relate to
1) being "stone" or being a Top and Dominant or, 2) being reciprocal to a "stone" partner. Can i humbly propose "feather" as a term for the reciprocal partner? I think it's a funny nod to the idea of being a "pillow queen" as well as being reciprocally "soft" for a "hard" partner. (I don't mean any disrespect, I just have the hardest time following this thread!) |
12-15-2013, 08:46 AM | #103 |
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I love this site and have particularly loved this thread. The reason is that without this safe place, I would have never have learned about my own sexuality or succeeded in correctly identifying, without shame, my own needs and desires, and the potential partners with whom I may fit.
I am a stone femme and proud. Love to you all. |
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01-02-2014, 05:28 PM | #104 |
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yep, I'm a catcher not a pitcher - ever! It couldn't do less for me to be the pitcher. There is just such a deeply intrinsic natural feeling for me to be stone femme bottom.
in my experience there are two types of stone femme - bottoms and tops and tops conduct themselves in bed much as stone butches do. my former bff is a stone femme top. I am strictly bottom. of course in my youth I did a lot of different types of things in bed, all in the name of experimentation and finding out what I and my partner enjoyed etc. over time this has felt the most natural and satisfying to me. I am happy to be flexible to my partner's needs... during sex I like to be able to squeeze the butt, but I can not do that if required. I can 'worship the mini cock' as lilith put it... I think the only thing that would pose a challenge to me is doing anything to the chest area but I personally haven't had a stone butch want me to! The most important thing to me really is that I am the bottom, the submissive and the catcher and not expected to do any penetration... it is such a turn off for me, I feel really unnatural doing it! I am really sick of the attitude that stone femmes are lazy or selfish in bed too... I playfully call myself a pillow princess but the truth is I do plenty in bed... kissing, embracing, sucking off where desired and the most important and significant thing, providing my body for my partner's pleasure... and all the responsiveness I show. That is absolute participation. And yes stone sex is definitely lesbian sex... two women having sex is lesbian sex, whatever kind of activities they are doing! |
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01-03-2014, 06:02 AM | #105 | |
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Not all Stones id as lesbian. I don't. Many of our Stone Butches identify as lesbian and many of them do not. Some of them identify as female and/or women and some of them do not, so Stone sex is not always 'two women having sex'. We're very lucky to have many presentations of our community here. Welcome to the discussion! |
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01-03-2014, 07:32 PM | #106 | |
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01-03-2014, 08:00 PM | #107 |
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Hi Gemme... yes I am aware of that! I guess I phrased badly... I didn't mean that all stones are women... or that all stone sex is lesbian sex... but if sex is happening between two people who identify as women it is lesbian sex... which would make stone sex in that situation lesbian sex. is that more clear? sorry guys, didn't mean to erase any identities, I was just focusing on women partners involved in response to the idea expressed that stone sex couldn't be lesbian.
Last edited by fatallyblonde; 01-03-2014 at 08:06 PM. Reason: adding a sentence |
06-15-2017, 12:37 PM | #108 |
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Its taking me some time to read this thread, so many points to take in, fascinating and thought provoking....
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06-16-2017, 05:38 PM | #109 | |
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I'm femme in appearance. I wear make up and dresses (occasionally but I like to sometimes) and usually stereotypical feminine clothing. However I'm a top in bed mostly. I don't like receiving oral and don't like being penetrated. Certain types of touch CAN excite me but at the same time they're so few and far between that I can quite easily do without being touched at all and would rather it that way. I'm good with getting my partner off and I am only attracted to butch. I'm the one who always drives, the one who arranges dates etc. I am often intrigued as to what it would be like to be taken out by a butch who is more into doing the traditional butch role... A small part of me thinks I'd like it but It's a very small part and it feels quite alien mostly. I've always done the 'date' thing by arranging, paying and being the one 'in charge of it' if you will. So I'm not a stonefemme by the above definition. I am not sure what I am. A butch in disguise? (I am being lighthearted really but at the same time I would like some input). |
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06-18-2017, 10:58 PM | #110 | |
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You describe yourself as femme, and as a top. That means you're a femme top. You aren't interested in being penetrated, and you're reluctant to receive touch. Yes, many people would call you stone. Femme Stone Top. Or a Stone Femme. Yes, it's confusing. I continue to advocate for a change in nomenclature. I know other women like you. I believe there are some who have or do frequent this site.
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06-19-2017, 05:08 AM | #111 | |
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My issue is i am.stubborn and don't like being vulnerable so i "take charge". However when it is safe i totally enjoy being spoiled and being swept off my feet, by a butch. Maybe you could find one to let you enjoy it too. |
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08-28-2017, 03:36 PM | #112 | ||
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I am happy to adopt the stone femme label, I know labels can be very damaging but they can be useful when used correctly and I was feeling a bit bewildered. I think with me personally too, I have only just began to question things and only just become au fait with the internet. So it's a bit of a new world even though in 'real life' I've never had an issue with things. It's natural curiosity I gues. Quote:
We do sound similar although I do feel 'butch' in some ways, and although in (very) small situations I've melted a little when a butch has done something for me or to me, I generally do not like it. I'm in a long term relationship with a butch, but we fell into our way of working very quickly although she does struggle a little with some things I do or don't do. |
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08-28-2017, 04:23 PM | #113 | |
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Who wants to have to fit in a box? As things you do and don't do, thats normal isn't it? Who completes each other's lists 100%. Doesn't seem like that would be normal. |
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09-02-2017, 11:43 PM | #114 | |
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Yup. Stonefemme. Nope, the language we've adopted makes no sense at all, but it's what we have now.
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10-09-2017, 12:45 AM | #115 | ||
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Maybe we don't, however the name of the forum suggests labels of some sort are part of this community, as do a large percentage of the threads, and the 'how do you identify' public question and answer. Quote:
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10-16-2017, 03:48 PM | #116 | |
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We are all evolving. i feel how stone or not stone we may also depend on our sexual counterpart. It can be very difficult as a femme to know what is allowed and what is not allowed when with a butch. It’s a learning process. Just because they allow something doesn’t mean i am into it, but i could be. i am not good at figuring it out so it’s easier to just ask questions. I think there is a stigma among the butch community that if they are not stone, they are somehow less butch. Nothing could be further than the truth in my eyes. If my butch is stone, would that not make me stone too? That feels so very limiting to me, but that is probably because i am not a stone femme. |
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10-16-2017, 05:34 PM | #117 | |
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I have always preferred to date queer femmes who identify as Stone. I don't want a woman who is limiting her desires in order to be with me. I want her desires to match my desires.
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10-16-2017, 05:38 PM | #118 |
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Dapper, I hear what you are saying about wanting a femme to id as stone, but in my experience I have known quite a few femmes (both friends and potential romantic interest) who are happy to partner with a stone butch or a butch who is not and when they are with a stone butch they don't feel they are missing anything. Of course that would not be true for all femmes. It all depends on range of preferences.
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10-16-2017, 05:51 PM | #119 | |
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Stone /not stone is not my identity, its a sexual behavior IMO |
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10-16-2017, 06:36 PM | #120 |
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Bull Dog, girl dee, just giving my opinion, based on my experiences and preferences.
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